Would you ever accept to be someone's second choice if you really love them?

So, this question is for boys and girls, if you really liked/loved someone who rejected you for someone else, if they come back to you, would accept to be their second choice? And what if they changed their mind quickly after they rejected you, like a week or two? And if it ever happened to you, please tell me about itWould you ever accept to be someone's second choice if you really love them?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Life is going to be pretty cruel and harsh for everyone if it wasn't for second chances. While I agree that coming in second or not being someone's first choice hurts, it doesn't mean someone else was better. Sometimes people just have to see what is out there and learn for themselves what they like and don't like. They could easily see after dating someone else that you are indeed the best person on the planet for them. I would rather be with someone who knows 100% they want me instead of someone who never dated anyone else and in the back of their mind are always wondering, "what if!"

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Never. Because then I'd never find the person I should be with who actually wants me as first choice

    I once dated a guy who I later on in the relationship found out was still kind of hung up on his ex, which made me lost my self esteem completely , I kept comparing myself with her, which was reallyyyy unhealthy. No one should put you in that situation where you feel the need to compare yourself to another girl/guy.

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What Guys Said 43

  • www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif

    From the way you phrased it, I would say no. But it's hard...

    I would think that a lot people have "options" as in "there's more than one person in the world who they could possibly have loving and fulfilling relationship with". This would suggest that with "options" being present, factors needs to be taken in to decide which "option" is the "better option". I guess going with the "worse option" would suggest that that is "settling".

    The problem with thinking that way is that it's not a given the "worse option" is actually "bad". It could be that you were rejected for reasons that are circumstantial which aren't necessarily bad things.

    www.court-records.net/.../miles-shrug(d).gif

    I guess the bigger question to ask is why wouldn't you ever be content with being in a relationship with someone who rejected you the first time? Especially if you really did like someone and the reasons for rejection wasn't a personal one. But then again, the answer could very well be that all rejection, at their core, are personal.

    Is it a pride thing? Who knows?

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  • It depends tbh, if i was able to move on relatively soon ish i'd kindly tell them to piss off. If they change their mind that quickly then there is no guarantee that the same won't happen to you. So most of the time i'd probably say no just to keep my dignity and self worth.

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  • If that happened to me I would first think that they came to there senses and realized they had made a mistake but I would be concerned that they may change their mind again or be using me as a back up or hedging their bets. This something that has to be dealt with on an individual basis because everyone acts or reacts differently.

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  • nobody is ever anybodies first choice. we crush and fall for different people before we ultimatle settle with the right person.

    not being the "first" choice doesn't mean being the "worse" choice, cause people tend to not know what they want, therefore the first choice is often just bad.

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  • do you expect to be first every god damn time? are you the best at everything you do? if not then take what you can get. be grateful you're attractive to somebody at all. nobodies perfect for each other. nearly anyone with compatible genetics could become the target of your affections for no other reason then that they existed near you for a moment. oh who's this sexy thing just walked up? my soulmate! nope, just the lucky idiot who happened in your life while you were vulnerable.

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  • Haha no.
    Only if her reason why she changed her mind makes sense for me and if i can accept this reason.
    But no matter what reason, i will probably reject her
    In the end she had her chance but failed it

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  • Definitely not. If a guy were to do that he would never be the guy in the relationship. The woman always pulling the little strings and him living under a constant threat of her jumping ship. Nope. You left, you stay gone.

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  • I've never had a girl be as close befriended as by bff to forgive on being put on the hold.
    I would take any good looking girl as second choice but I would sex n drop if the girl doesn't act accordingly (guilt/shame feels)

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  • If someone reject you for someone else then you shouldn't trust them because if you give them space they will ditch you again once they find someone better than you.
    You need a person who accept as you are.

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  • Yes i must really except her bcoz for her i have did so many things and she never said yes and after few mnths or years she is again asking ill obivously say yes coz ill remember what i have done for her n will have a good lyf with her

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  • Sorry not me because it shows it would eventually fall apart... they from the start didn't have the same intense and deep feelings you have for them in most cases is say 98 percent at least those kinds of relationships would end badly

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  • Choose me or use me!!!
    love is shared between two on same level its not a second choice its always the only choice anything else is affection or something like love.. so it's up to you to pick up what suits you

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  • No.
    It's torture and besides, it's most likely infatuation than love.
    I love me more. I don't want some mental torture.

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  • Ok well this where it's time get honest. Yes , but that would only happen once. Me standing by for the first time should be enough to say, wow this idiot really does love me some kinda special way

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  • I don't accept anyone who rejected me for any reason at any point in their life.
    Life is too short to waste it away with people who "kinda" like you.

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  • Yeah.. having low enough self esteem to be someone's "second choice" and going through with that would *REALLY* work out well..

    Not!

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  • Nope. I am not a consolation prize. As soon as I get rejected, I make damn well sure that I lose all feelings for her.

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  • There are probably some really rare specific cases in there where I would, if it were *really* a mistake on her part, but in general no.

    Having her choose someone else indicates that there was no connection with you, since if there had been she would have liked you-for-you, instead of you-in-comparison-to-everyone-else, and wouldn't have been willing to "trade up" like she did. Maybe it was just too early for that connection to form, but once she's chosen someone else there's no way to know that - once she comes back there's no way of knowing whether she's chosen you because of the connection or chosen you as a settlement. Nobody who is capable of love deserves to be a settlement.

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  • Normally i'd say no, but if my crush did it i'd accept right away. Some people are just to important to care.

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  • If if if i loved her truly than I don't mind to be her second choice. But wanna be her future for sure.

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What Girls Said 17

  • It depends if they changed there mind or if it didn’t work out with someone else and then I was there second choice.
    The latter, no way.

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  • No. If I'm not your first you can rail yourself.

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  • Fuck. No.

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  • It's easy for me to say nah I'm never anyones second choice but I think if I'm put in that situation where I'm truly in love with that person, I would accept it.. I would know it's bad to accept but if I truly like them and know I need them in my life it would be hard to not accept

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  • Usually, no.
    If they rejected me then came back a week later, still no. My pride won’t let me.
    You only get one chance with me.

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  • Haha, I am and enjoy it. Well she might think I'm 2nd lol. He might tell differently lol

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  • No! I’m like Kanye, I would need to be their #1 woman

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  • Left... for someone else?

    That never happened...
    And hope it never does.

    And no, I won't be seeing his face ever again.

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  • Haha I'd leave faster than you can say. I'd get pissed first

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  • Absolutely not. Second choice is no choice. If the first choice gets available then I'm out.

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    • To clarify... I am OK if he had other people before me. But I don't want to feel I'm being settled for. I want to feel equal to the first one.

  • Of course when I'm chosen I'm the first and it doesn't matter if I was last in past.

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  • I've been in this situation, but being the rejected one. I got into an argument with guy I was kinda of seeing after he told me he was seeing someone else. 3 days later he had a birthday party and I went with this guy I barely knew. Long story short, things went horribly wrong with the first guy and started dating the second one. I really like the second one, but I still have that question behind my head. " If the first guy came back, would I give him a second chance?". My point is, I wish I would have waited longer to date this second guy as I haven't quite gotten over the other one. That doesn't mean this guys isn't a perfect match. But I feel its kind of unfair on him. So, id say, wait a while until both of you are sure you wanna commit.

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  • No, never.

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  • Definitely not.

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  • No I wouldn't.

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  • I doubt it

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  • Unlikely. Is his first choice dead? Then maybe.

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