How do I forgive myself for cheating?

Anonymous
Two years ago at the start of my LDR with my boyfriend we had a huge fight and I went to a party, got drunk and kissed someone else. I had no intention of cheating on him he just grabbed me and I kissed back 😞 I then continued to talk to this guy (no flirting) as friends for a week or so (I didn’t realise how wrong this was at the time but stopped contact) I told my boyfriend straight away what had happened and he being the amazing person he is forgave me. He never brings it up and has moved past it a long time ago - we are generally happy and in love. I know what I did is disgusting, horrible and I probably don’t deserve him but now ever since then I can’t forgive myself. Every time my boyfriend tells me he loves me I feel sick and sometimes throw up because I feel I don’t deserve those words. How Can I move on with my life without hating myself anymore? I know I probably deserve to hate myself but I can’t live like this. I am seeing a psychologist but it’s not helping. I know I made a huge mistake but this guilt is eating me alive.
How do I forgive myself for cheating?
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