It doesn't have to be... but it's usually seen as a negative, at least in Westernized cultures.
Doesn't mean it's right.
I joke that there are people I know who... you look at them, and you KNOW they're single, and it makes perfect sense as to why they're single. Then there are some people, and it's like "How are they actually still single?"
Recently, I was asked what my romantic status was. First time I've been asked in ages if I was single. Usually people don't seem to care (or they know I'm often single, so they don't ask).
I guess it's somehow a sign that you have SOME of your stuff together. Like you're capable of being attractive to someone. Which is obviously not always the case. I suppose the ease of getting a relationship means that you have more social worth (again, not always the case) or socially adept.
Do people prefer being in a relationship or being single? Everyone is different, and some of the situations are different.
I probably COULD go back to dating someone I dated ages ago. But I wouldn't be happy or feeling fulfilled. And that's more important to me than the status. Overall, I would rather be in a (happy and healthy) relationship than single. But I'd rather be single than be in a relationship where I wasn't attracted to the woman, and wasn't happy, and we were constantly fighting and bickering.
I have two friends who really don't seem to care at all about women. They don't care about being in a relationship. They're not interested. So it happens. I think it's rare, but it happens.
There's this attitude (not by everybody) that you need to have somebody, you need a car, you need a fast-track job, you need a house, and to top it off, you need kids. If you're lacking in any of these areas, your life is somehow incomplete.
A long time ago, I worked a job, but I wasn't out partying, and didn't have a girlfriend at the time. This one guy I worked with said to me, "You're a Taurus, right? That's a bull! You need to be going out there and getting some action!"
Years later, I was working another job, and this older woman I worked with had four grown kids, and she really had this thing about everybody having somebody. When she talked about them, she said, "Two of them are married, two of them aren't, so..." Then shrugs. It's almost like she was saying two of them were successful, and two were failures.
Absolutely not. Being single isn't being a failure. You choose if you want to be single or not, in a way. Anyone could get into a relationship. But would you be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one instead of being single? I would consider that a lie, because you might not feel as strongly as the other person. I would rather be single for life, than be with someone I'm just 99% in love with. Being in a relationship just for the sake of being in one, would be fake and like saying you are just waiting for the next best guy to come along. So being single I would say is more of a accomplishment than being in a relationship, because you are waiting for someone you really want than sticking to someone who is just okay/good and not "perfect". Hope I made sense and answered your question.
I don’t think it’s a sign of failure. I’ve never considered life to revolve around being with someone else - that sounds depressing. There are many different reasons as to why someone might be single. Maybe they just got out of a relationship. Maybe they haven’t been lucky enough to find someone. Maybe they want to focus on themselves and their own personal growth. Maybe they don’t want a relationship at all. Maybe they’re not fit to be in one, or don’t have the time for one. And none of those reasons are ”failures” in my eyes.
I wouldn't agree with the question. Being single is not a sign of failure, ... having a sexless life is a sign of failure. it means you are so unattractive that you have no evolutionary value.
If you are single and getting sex with one. Two, three people or more... you aren't viewed as a failure. you are a stud.
What exactly is "evolutionary value" and why is it important? If what you're saying is we're on this Earth to have children and we have those children so they can have children but there isn't value in an individual life, in a worldwide sense, aren't we just producing evolutionarily worthless people to have more worthless people. If an item's only value is that I can break it down to obtain something that can make the item, the item has no value.
I'll behonest. I live a sexless life because severe social anxiety and OCD deeply limit me. But if I were to help somebody achieve something they wanted to, I consider that having value. If that achievement leads to them eventually having kids- "evolutionary value."
If I make an important piece of technology but die a virgin, I still have evolutionary value. Because part of evolution is advancing society and evolving.
I believe there's something more. Not in a religious sense, in a different sense. And where that's concerned everybody has
If you're talking about appearance, appearance doesn't always reflect genes. Good looking people can be dumb as rocks. Other factors can influence appearance, such as depression. Not a definite reflection of genes, if genes do in fact define "evolutionary value."
@googlees haha. Are we really getting intellectual? It was just a way for me to say that if i can't get laid if feel like a failure. Being single wouldn't bother me. No sex would.
There is nothing at all to be ashamed of in being single. Being single has many advantages such as not having to factor someone into your daily life decisions, you have the luxury to be selfish without it affecting someone negatively or having someone feel disgruntled. I'm currently single and right now I'm enjoying it. I can choose where to eat out, who to spend my time with, where and how I choose to utilise my spare time, how to run my home, where to plan my next overseas vacation and the list goes on. Sure it can sometimes get lonely but for me i don't feel it that often. I'm a single mum, I work fulltime so when I come home from work and dealt with dinner duties, daughters quality time I'm pretty much just wanting to flop on the couch and do my own thing anyway whether that be catching up on my favorite Netflix shows or listening to music or playing some games on my phone then bed. I have a great social network so I'm always out with my daughter on weekends catching up with other mums and their kids or having a girls night out.
I don't rule out love and I am on a social singles page on Facebook and attend events when I have time in order to be physically present out in the real world, you never know I may find Mr Right by doing that but it's not a priority. Realistically being in a relationship takes time and effort, they don't just magically happen, you both have to be loyal and committed to each other and invested in making it work. Relationships these days have become so disposable that no one really wants to try and make one properly work, they are half on and half out, believe me being in a crappy relationship does not make for a happy life, there are so many couples living a lie, pretending to be happy when reality is that are not. I'd rather be single any day than be in a shitty relationship that is very much lacking on all fronts but that's just my opinion.
I would prefer to be in a relationship in fact i long for it. I have recently had so many personal issues come forward that i don't think trying to start a relationship would even be worth while not only to myself but to the significant other as i won't have the time to actually spend with them. I think it's a mentality factor. If you are a guy that's down with the one night stand gig then i don't think it matters so much to them. For me though i prefer a solid foundation and a lasting thing with someone because i find it hard to have sex with someone then randomly never meet them again. I enjoy the troubles a relationship brings because it is what makes it fun. Whenever she gets angry it was the cutest fckn thing because she would scruntch her nose up and point a finger at you and try to get a deep voice (which was all the more better when it failed) and be like call my full name and get mad. If i walked up and kissed her like a movie scene she would start internally fighting herself to try not to laugh and continue to be mad. I'm rambling. Anyway, that's my opinion.
Being single is fine. But a lot of single people complain about their singleness instead of actively working towards overcoming whatever is stopping them from achieving the "relationship status" they want. they complain about people thinking they are boring, or having low self-esteem, or how undateable everyone else is... If you don't make your status seem very good, then no one else will value it either... it's really all about what you put out there, because being single IS good if you take the time to learn from it.
Older generations view success as working a successful career, owning a house, and being married / having kids. That kind of philosophy has been shoved down our throats as we grew up.
People in the world today are very selfish, very lazy, and very angry. Because of that, we, as a society, SUCK at love.
But we still crave it. That level of physical and emotional intimacy, having someone to lean on in the worst of times, waking up next to someone amazing, having someone with whom you can create amazing memories and a limitless future... we all want that. And when we don't have that, we feel as though we have failed and are missing out on life's greatest joys.
Me? I don't give a damn. I'm me and I like me. If you want in on it with me, great! I'm not gonna lose sleep over it if you don't.
Being single isn't a sign of failure. I use to think this way when I was younger, but after learning to stop settling for assholes just to not be alone, I've become more confident in myself and in my own worth. I even ended things with a great man because he started to have feelings for an ex and wouldn't promise to not try to get with her if we took a break. I wish them luck, but I don't play second place so it's over. Being single isn't a failure, it's being comfortable with yourself. It's waiting for somebody who values you as much as you value them, and not settling for less just to have somebody to come home to.
Being single is less of a failure than unhappily married or in a bad relationship
I’ve been single a while now and doesn’t look like it will be changing soon I refuse to settle I’ve spent too many years in mundane and bad relationships the next one WILL be special
I feel like part of it has to do with culture. Or at least in the United States from what I know.
Marriage has always been a must. Even in movies “when are you gonna get married and have my grandchildren.” Somewhere it was portrayed as bad to be alone, never married.
But also, maybe it has to do with natural human desires. Many humans , including I, have the desire to be cuddled with, we crave attention from a partner, kisses (oh God I've had some great ones). It just feels nice.
Some are just afraid to be alone. Ever seen a person in a relationship and thought that it wasn’t healthy or meant to be, why are they still in there after how long? Either they see something else or they just have a fear of being alone. (Of course there’s other reasons too)
Its a gateway to have kids and carry on the family name to some. Some just want grand kids.
Nothing wrong with being single though. It can be really enjoyable!
I never could understand why it was so frowned upon. I've been single for a while and I love it. I have my own house and can't stand the though of sharing my bathroom with someone. I like to shit with the door open, walk around naked, leave with out explanation etc. I have turned down many guys that's wanted serious relationships with me I just wasn't feeling it. However, there is one man I'd drop everything to be with in a heartbeat. Despite that, I love my own company and am quite content with it.
Im following this question. I believe in authentic relationships and would love to be in one, yet again authentic which for me involves a commitment and trust partnership. I'm single and have struggle with feeling sort of "excluded" just because of being the only single among my friends. I'm happy for them, and would love to have a real healthy relationship, yet if itsnt in those terms I prefer to be alone.
All that being said, I've learned that at the end of the day each person has different relationship standards. Being single can be a bless if you learn how to be with yourself. This' my journey, I prefer being with myself and open towards meeting people and observing rather than being with the first guy I met and desperately go towards him.
For me I'd rather be in a relationship causeI've never been in one. And for why i believe its a sign of failure cause the social stereotype for a male or female in soectiy is to go to school get a good paying job buy a house and eventually settle down and get married. but in my case its s struggle to even get a date with a girl let alone get married it makes me personally just feel unwanted by the opposite sex especially when friends and family member around you are getting married and getting into relationship your singled out and you dont understand why at times and it just makes you feel like you've lost. but I don't know thats my view on it
Being single is a sign of strength in my opinion. Usually, a single person knows what they are looking for in a life partner and won't waste their time with anyone who doesn't meet or have the potential to be the person you want them to be. Now I can't comment on all the no strings sex that a lot of people are having these days. Disgusting stuff if you ask me.
Good relationships are better, when you actually care about each other, this morning for example after I couldn't sleep due to shoulder pain, my wife gave me a massage, rode me like a horse and gave me a hot water bottle for my shoulder, she went to work, I took day off and slept 😝 woke up feeling a lot better, went and bought some food to make a veg curry for dinner and probably going to give her a massage and get laid again tonight. I simply can't understand why anyone would choose to be single, unless they can't find a good partner.
Sounds like you have a pretty good relationship, your one of the lucky ones then. It doesn't happen for everyone though and these days it's just so much harder to find genuine people so hold onto that very caring wife and keep letting her ride you like a horse and keep on making those delicious dinners and being each others lover and best friend. Wonderful to hear there are relationships thriving out there. It's clear from both of your actions towards one another that you are each others priority so well done.
a lot of people are selfish these days and just don't like giving but they will happily receive. I would always give my ex a massage from time to time but I never would get one back in return so in the end I stopped. Was tired of making an effort and seeing him not bother to make one back.
Being single is not a sign of failure at all. There are plenty of people who choose to be single because either their jobs are demanding or require them to be gone all the time. Or you have those, that simply do not want ot be in a relationship. I think of it as more of a strength than anything, for the fact you are having to rely on your own for everything and you don't have a person for emotional support.
Time has changed a lot. There was a time when love used to dominate rather than sex. Now the new meaning of love is to have sex. When there is abundance of sex then there are loyalities and disloyalities which eventually lead to frustration. This results in more casual relationships which leads people to prefer for staying single than in a relationship. This all started from the frustration of doing lot of sex with multiple people which we call polygamy. It is not liked in society but people want it undercover. So staying single is a 2way process.
I don't believe that being single is a failure, I believe that well depending on choice of being single or just not being able to get into a relationship. But me for example, became single by choice so I can feel more successful for myself. In my last relationship I felt so tied down I was not able to feel accomplished in my own personal life.
Failure and success are made up words. Entirely subjective. You are only as much of a success or failure that you think you are, feel you are, and believed that you are. And if you believe being single equals being a failure then that's because of your beliefs, your thoughts, and your emotions. Just for the record, just because you have a partner or spouse does not mean you won't die alone. Since very rarely both spouses or partners DIE AT THE SAME TIME!
Because it shows that you are unable to form a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex. It's a biological imperative, so a failure in do so is looked at as such. Some people just never do connect and remain single for their entire lives. Some have some kind of tragic and debilitating experience and never really recover to try again.
As much as I do like companionship, I also really like being single, it just gives me so much more time to myself. The only people who see being single as a sign of failure are the fools who seem to think that relationship status equates to overall success in life.
Why would I waste my hard earned money, precious time, and introduce a hazzordus woman to my social circle of friends/ resources/etc... as a man who’s been through a lot of shit, not interested. That’s why MGTOW is so appealing to men. We learn the truth about women and are tired of being treated the same way every time.
You can love women or understand them, you cannot do both.
Being single isn't a sign of failure. Being old and single without family generally is. A lot of it is societal, being that past generations put a huge importance on procreation, and there's less of that now. Not saying it isn't important now, just that there are other things that are also important. I would posit that being unhappy is a bigger sign of failure than anything.
After a few abusive relations I’m definetly happy to be alone. It’s not a sign of failure, it takes a strong person to go it alone. Think of all the people who are stuck in a relationship they aren’t truly happy about? Like those that cheat for example. They are failures they failed at being honest and faithful to their partners! some relationships are honest and love is really there but out of 6 billion people is it easy to find your soulmate for a relationship like that?
Because Society is full of Morons who think a humans worth is based on their romantic status!!! I love being single!!! I never fell for Societies trick traps, I am my own person and can think for myself. I live myself and don't need anyone else to tell me my worth because I know I'm worth a trillion times more than what some Moron or Society says I'm worth!!!
Being single is a sign of failure? I've had three gfs and those were THE MOST UNPRODUCTIVE times of my life. Singledom has allowed me to progress my career to being accepted into a doctoral program on top of allowing me to have sex with multiple women. I'd say I'm doing pretty well in life as a single man actually.
I've NEVER been happier and more content with my life than the past 3 years that I've been single. I was able to go to Vegas and have the best experience I wouldn't never imagined had I been in a relationship... it's been the best time of all finding my true self identity and character and I learned to love myself more that anyone else probably loves themselves. I have learned to respect my own hopes and dreams and desires istead of wasting time chasing others. I've learned how to control my body and urges to the point where I don't even need a guy to get me off. I just use my crazy awesome imagination and I'm way happier in the end.
When I was single I didn't mind. But when I turned 25 that's when I started dating again. Because I always wished to get married and start a family of my own. Now that I'm in a committed relationship, I hope it last because it was extremely difficult and it felt like it was impossible to find a guy I was looking for as " boyfriend/ husband material ".
I love it when I'm single, and when I'm with the right person, I love being in a relationship as well. There's good things and bad things about both. So why not enjoy the benefits of each status when in them?
Being happy with your life is successful. If you're in a relationship or not is not a failure or anything. It's just a relationship status.
I personally appreciate my singleness. I love doing what I want whenever I want. Being able to just get out and do things on my own. I've found that I haven't found someone who I feel compliments me all that well if I'm being honest so in my eyes I rather be single than be in a relationship for the sake of being in one
I'll personally share my feelings and my experience being single. I enjoy the freedom of being able to do what I want without having to report in everyonce in a while but I also feel like a failure because I haven't dated anyone in 2 years. I feel inadequate in many ways as far as experience, looks, and being able to express my self. My self esteem is pretty low and at this point I feel like women view me as a piece of shit cause I've had no luck (I've been on multiple dating sites with 0 matches for over 4 months). I enjoy being free but I miss having someone to talk to and I crave physical contact (not sexual but that's a plus).
I think of it like grades; relationships, 50% are Ds and F grades, many are Cs, because they are bad enough to break up, not good enough to know you are totally happy, Being Single is a B, and being in an Awesome Happy healthy relationship is an A, but only the top 10% of relationships earn an A, and if they have to convince others their relationship is awesome, they aren’t, likely a C and confused, because others all know an A relationship when they see one
Being single is great, but being with the right person is better. I think people are just generally wired to seek companion. So not desiring it goes against what is natural to them, so it's weird. At the same time, I think that for most it's a sign of faulty personality. Either something about you is so unattractive that it pushes people away, or you can't sustain a long term relationship due to some undesirable trait or issue
Because of society, I guess. Women are made to believe that growing up getting married and raising children and taking care of the household is the right thing to do. So if by my age you are single, then you are a failure based on what society expects you to do, and what it expects you to be.
Honestly this is a really general question. Personally I like the whole concept of a relationship but for the moment I haven’t found someone I won’t get bored of. So I date and stay single and I’m alright with that. It doesn’t have to do with not having guys come after you but your mindset of actually wanting it or not.
Being in a relationship shows that you're a desireable person and you attract more attention than if you're just another average joe walking through life. And relationships always seem so happy from the outside vs. how they really are. People are attracted to positivity.
Being single is fine as long as you have a career that you want to pursue, but it is not ok if you want to be the Austin bomber or want to shoot kids at a High School. People that are overly judgmental and terrible in relationships are not in position to judge single people. Loners that are religious and or motivated are successful, but otherwise they either want to kill themselves or others as they see themselves as victims.
It's a sign of failure, it equates to you are undesirable, unlovable, unworthy, not good enough. Call it what you will. It mean others can't see your value. I agree with other it's only a sign of failure if you're single despite wanting a relationship.
Being a happy single means you love yourself enough to enjoy your own company. I think people who thinks they can’t be happy without a SO have low self steem and can’t stand their own company.
Because they think having a relationship is like one important thing in their life's checklist. I personally don't feel that way and being single allows me to achieve more important things, and until I get them, I'm not interested in being with someone yet.
Because many if not most (I haven't seen any surveys) people want a relationship so not being able to secure one is a form of failure. I'm single myself so I'm not judging, you likely have other things to be proud of. You should work on it though instead of lying to oneself.
It's only failure if you want to be in a relationship. If other people expect you to be in a relationship, like parents or friends, they may see it as failure but screw them! Do whats best for you.
I particularly find it a failure since I've expressed my feelings for multiple girls over the years but the feelings haven't been the same, haven't been reciprocated especially when I consider myself and caring, kind, respectable and gentlemanly. Where I try my best to find love but inevitably have lost hope in love due to relationships not developing after many many tries
Well, I know relationships aren't perfect. It's just there is a lot of issues in life such as dealing with a lost one, getting into serious injuries, and dealing with issues of mental abuse. I wish I had someone who was there to support me through these crises. Also, to just feel lively with other people.
I've been single for years, and in truth I find I can be myself when I am single. I also find I can get things done without unnecessary pressure from another half with conflicting deadlines. Being single, even though I get no sex, has been the best part of my life. I can focus on my budget, work, and life in general.
Being in a relationship is harder than being alone. On the same note sometimes we feel disconnected, when we are on our own and try to fill that void with something else.
One thing I've learned from the past, is to not jump into a relationship just because of loneliness. It's selfish and feelings end up getting hurt.
When im single i miss having someone to talk, but when im in a relationship i sometimes just want to spend time by myself or hangout with the boys. Its not a failure unless you been single your whole entire life and everytime you try to get into a relationship you get friendzoned
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I don’t think your relationship status is a sign of failure. I choose not to date because I’d rather put all my effort into my future. I make money seven days a week with two jobs and I’m starting up my own business soon. If that makes me a failure then fuck.
It's only a failure if it's not what you want. I'm perfectly content being single at this juncture of my life. I enjoy doing my own thing, and there's no way in hell I'm ready to begin a family of mine.
I'd rather be single than be in a bad relationship. People who think being in a relationship should be the main goal in life don't know how to live themselves and that to me is not success
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
When you're in a relationship people on the outside always wonder, what does that guy or gal have that makes them so attractive?
People have many reasons why they are single and they have to live with it whether it is a choice they've made or it's just because they aren't liked by the opposite sex as much as they'd like to be.
But we are all attractive human beings single or not!
It can be, but it depends how you failed. If you never go out and ask people out then you've failed and that's bad. If you asked people out you come back more experienced and tolerant to rejection. Yes you failed, but you gained something from it.
Oh sweetness I don't believe for one second that anyone WANTS to be alone some of us just take a while to get it right some of us have horrible luck or judgment or we r just too Damn nice and others just would rather be a miserable turd than put forth the effort it takes to make a relationship work
I mean I'm glad I'm single because I don't have to worry about another person constantly (I know that's how I'll end up lol) but I'm also not glad I'm single because HEY IM LONELY AF BUT THATS OK.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I dont know but I have been single my entire entire life, I had never ever had a boyfriend before, never dated steady or just for months. I dont know what it feels to be in love. And at my age now I dont think now I even want to get married anymore or even have kids either. But finally at my age I found someone I am attracted to but for my misfortune, I dont think with this guy I be going further and this guy sis the very first guy who I feel something for.
This depends on the person and their mentality. Not applicable to every one, My openion is having a partner is always better as u never felt left alone and the only person u trust with heart. And being single is never a failure until you take a wrong decision like if u can't dare and stay
I like being in a relationship but when I was single I like being single being single does not have to be a sign of failure I know it is cheaper being single and you have more time for yourself your friends and your family
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