My boyfriend suggested an open relationship but is upset that I'm dating other people, why? (Page 2)

Question

I fell in love with a guy who I believe is my soulmate. We connect on every level (mentally & physically) and I have never felt so strongly about a person in my entire life. I feel like I have known him in a previous lifetime.  We are in a long distance relationship and certain circumstances and obstacles are getting in the way of us staying together. I am so heartbroken but we're trying to take it one day at a time & not stress about the things we cannot change. After months & months of trying to resolve all the issues that are getting in our way, we both agreed that we should have an open relationship and see other people. The idea is killing my inside because just imagining him with another girl is making me go crazy. I am so sad but I know it's the best thing for us right now.  I asked him if he's truly okay with our new arrangement & his response was "Of course I'm not okay with it & I would be upset if you dated other guys. But we can't get so invested in each other if we have no idea how our relationship will turn out. I don't want to tie you down and not have it work out in the end."  A few weeks later I took pictures with a guy I went on a date with and captioned it "Having some fun!" We went out for drinks and it was a good time but he just wasn't my type. I was honestly just getting my mind off my boyfriend and trying to distract myself. My heart just wasn't in it. He didn't even compare to the connection that I felt with my boyfriend and I just did it so I could mentally move on. My boyfriend was like "So you're officially dating him?" I was like "No, I just went on a few dates with him. Why are you so upset by this?" He was like "I know you're not mine right now but I'm just upset. I don't know why exactly." Why would he react this way when he's literally the one who initiated the whole "open relationship" thing and I was the one who was so against it? Why does he want me and yet encourage me to move on?

Abcd123450 · Answer

It is very complicated. Open relationship will not help you at this moment. Long distances are very difficult but you'll have to work it out and if you can't then just break up and move on. Being in an open relationship will just keep you both hanging in between plus it won't be fair for the guy/girl whom you/he will date. This is just my opinion. Rest is your decision. :)

lucky1356 · Answer

Open relationship leads to secrets regrets and usually good only for one, unless you both needing more that other won't or can't offer, and you desire it so much you look towards others fill you need, like having group of friends but only one best friend if your lucky, I never seen it end well

ciitruskiwi · Answer

He told you he would be upset and he's upset for the same reason imagining him with another girl makes you upset except he isn't just imagining it anymore. He knows.

Anonymous · Answer

He's full of shit like a lot of people who preach "open relationships." I know a chick who is married. Both her and her husband practice polyamory (don't know why they got married)... Anyway... she stopped being friends with a married friend (both her and husband also participate) because her friend gave her husband a blow job before 90 days was up. Apparently, there are rules! I told her that she is a stupid bitch!!!

Confidenceoverload · Answer

Eh I’m in one right now but I just want to be held down 😔 and I don’t like the thought of my soul mate being fucked and dumped because I know that’s what’s happening to her I hate the thought of not having the perfect girl yet

Mexicoman101 · Answer

He was probably hoping you would just say 'no' of your own volition & was more trying to test you with that stupid open relationship shit.

aditya2284 · Answer

No guy wants his girl to fuck around. Only guy who let's the girl do that either is with you for a short term or is exploring his options so wants you to explore yours too.

Heythere2013 · Answer

If he loved you, he would have never suggested an open relationship. He was hoping you would be sitting by yourself, while he did whatever he wanted.

FinalVow · Answer

lol that is the height of irony. suggests open relationship gets jealous when you see another guy...

15hancen · Answer

My guess is his jealous. If his your soul mate and he feels the same about you he might think you don't like him if you date other men

Babsie1984 · Answer

He’s realised he’s jealous. He maybe wanted to be able to have sex with other people but doesn’t like t when you do it

Anthony_Manfredini · Answer

Usually if a guy suggest an open relationship what he means is "hey, how about I see all the girls I want while you see only me" at least that's my take on it. Some guys are dicks.

TheWombRaider · Answer

Seriously... No Who wants to Share... No Hetrosexual guy that loves a girl truly lovers her wants to share

CHILDISHFLAMINGO · Answer

If you really loved him then you would have waited for him but then you decided not to

sadkitty101 · Answer

It seems like he is in love with you. Stop being clueless and just wait for eachother. Damn

Caaarl · Answer

This is why people struggle with open relationships. You can't have it both ways. Either be together or break it off because it's too much.

mysteryoso · Answer

Open relationships are bullshit. If you truly love that person then the thought of being with someone else would disgust you

Zenurus · Answer

He wants more, but isn't ready to give the same freedom to you?

Djthunder14 · Answer

He basically wanna get his dick sucked so he suggested are open relationship but still wants to keep control over you as his girlfriend that's why he's upset he basically wants to have his cake and eat it too dump him

Anonymous · Answer

Probably upset that he can’t get a date as quick as you, I know unless I really really try I can’t get a date as easily as a woman so he is probably just upset that you did already instead of just staying single for awhile

Anonymous · Answer

You are both playing games. In this game, you are both becoming losers.  Be one thing or the other. Be a couple in a LDR, or split completely. The way you are at the moment is hurting both of you!

sahas20 · Answer

He was just testing you and you failed... miserably.

thottiana · Answer

That’s not an open relationship if you’re dating other people

hasmukhvaghani · Answer

Because he loves you but he can't understand his love for you

Nojudgements · Answer

There can never be an open relationship. At least I don't think so. There is always some sense of belonging to each other in a relationship, therefore I say no open relationship.

DanishSaint · Answer

He wants the chance to bang others - but is not willing and or to insecure to share you..

LegateLanius · Answer

Because when he asked, he was asking for your permission to do that for himself but not you.

Rockwell · Answer

You have to come up with rules for an open relationship to work. Otherwise both of you think "open relationship" means something different and you will hurt the other one without knowing why.

Uhhhhi99 · Answer

Open means having sex but don't go dating over people

Finni · Answer

Yep, that's how boys work sometimes.  Step one: Think logically and act rational.  Step two: Become jealous when your feelings take over.

Philyouup · Answer

because he thought he was coming into some action, but probably thought you would not, or his action fell through.

LeeKenz · Answer

Because I’m an open relationship you shouldn’t be falling in love. An open relationship is literally a “fuck who want/get out of jail free card”

pinayfit · Answer

long distance relationship is just so hard , i can't imagine myself with one.

AnonLegion · Answer

If you can't hit me up on snapchat it's Jacoblulz. Also you have to understand if someone tells you that you are basically a done deal. Its part of life.

shal_sta · Answer

Its cz he really loves u too much... He dnt wnt u to choose anyone over him..

joyre18 · Answer

I think he didn't realize how much it would hurt him to see you with another guy. He's starting to fill with regret and so that's why he reacted the way he did. He wishes the circumstances were different so you two could be together

Anonymous · Answer

He can't have it both ways. So he suggested it, then is upset when you do it.

kabar35 · Answer

He was probably thinking that you would allow women to come into your relationship but not for you to go with others guys or girls without him

johnboymuscles · Answer

he's set you free so you can choose your loyalty to him.. oops thats gone

michael092317 · Answer

Because guys are greedy they want all theu can get and want the female to be loyal to a fault, so when he says he wants an open relationship he means he wants his side to be open.

goomsbah · Answer

I think it's a great idea you get to have your cake and eat it too. Just be sure you set boundaries with your partner. Be sensitive to each other and just have open communication

BOUNTYGUY9 · Answer

dont do what you dont wish to do he is not a nice guy move on get another guy he has no respect for you dont share /

Anonymous · Answer

This is a pretty common conflict that happens in any friends with benefits or open relationship.

bulbbapet · Answer

Because he wants to act big but can't suppress his need to own you.

Myplace22 · Answer

This just sounds like a horrible idea from top to bottom

Outlawed68 · Answer

Wow that’s a crazy story, either be together or don’t.. haha

Fathippy · Answer

Have sex with others don't say though no gets hurt then

Anonymous · Answer

Don't take a Long Distant Relationship seriously they are jokes and this proves it.

HereIbe · Answer

Because he's a little bitch and needs to be kicked to the curb.

LuWe22 · Answer

He is a dick. He obviously want to see other people but you are not allowed to

beautiful_61305 · Answer

He probably wants it to only be an open relationship for him to make him seem manly if it were me I would leave him high and dry just for this case

catalinacait · Answer

He just wants a booty call and just wants u so he can f around with other girls and not worry about u f with other guys

Nice222 · Answer

He wants to date but is jealous of you dating. It doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship.

mrkingmcc · Answer

If you love him then you'd want him all to yourself so I see why you feel like this

yash189 · Answer

Trust me he's not your soulmate. You will get better, who likes you as a person not as a body.

harmg · Answer

Because he's not getting other dates and you are

Anonymous · Answer

if you love him that much, so why you are dating other guys? it was just an opnion dont take it in a rude way

Anonymous · Answer

Open relationship is about extramarital sex not extramarital dating.

ShesAmerican · Answer

can't make up his mind, depressing

chrisv · Answer

Hahahaha.. turned the tables on him! Go girl!!

My boyfriend suggested an open relationship but is upset that I'm dating other people, why? (Page 2)

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