Why do women date older men instead of men their age?

[BraveHeart97]

I heard that most women in their 20s are dating men who are around their 30s, 40s, and so on. So I’m wondering why that is? Why don’t they prefer dating men around their age? Is it because older men have more money, maturity, and experience? What is it about older men that young women find so attractive?

[potatoismee]

Older men can provide more security to a girl. Since they already know where they are in life, they've established some kind of career, they're mature most of the time and can make a girl feel safe, which is what Every girl wants from a relationship.
And from what I've seen most younger guys are waaaay too immature. They mostly don't know how to care for a girl, and just want the relationship without knowing their responsibilities in it. (Spoken from a girl who's attracted to older as well as younger men.. but I like mostly guys who are at most 6yrs older or 2-3years younger)

[BraveHeart97]

That’s a generalization and most men in their 20s are still finding out what they want to do career wise. Cut them some slack. I know young men who were cheated on by women their age all because they weren’t financially stable. This whole scenario only proves to me that women are gold diggers.

[potatoismee]

Did I say anything about money?
Besides I've never dated an older man. I'm currently dating a guy 3 years older than me which isn't a big difference.

What i said was that mostly they're more immature and don't know where they stand in life. And women like to feel secure and safe. I'm talking about it from women who prefer older guys perspective

[Lukas_95]

You can't guarantee, that a life with an older man would be more secure, but yeah they should have a place to live and a secure Job. I think the problem is, that they aren't so fit anymore. They dont have so much energy anymore. Maybe they already married 2 times. Fall in love and its harder and harder to trust new partners and love again. Also.. If he is more than 8 years older.. I mean.. I would not like to grow old with a old weak father. I could remember my dad having me on his shoulders and other things. He is still fit. But when he would be 10 years older... It wouldn't be the same.. The younger your partner is, the more life and energy he will bring to the relationsship. Or? Maybe its just my attitute. XD i could never date a women who is so much older than me, because

[Lukas_95]

1. I dont need to feel secure, i am already secure. 2. I could not live with her. She would have no lifeforce left for all what i plan:adventures doing sport together, cooking together, making trips over the world, kissing hours, falling in love, yeah its easier to fall in love when you are younger. And so on.. Also.. Older people can't change themselves too good. Young people can.

[WalterRadio]

@BraveHeart97
"most men in their 20s are still finding out what they want to do career wise"
I had a very good idea what I wanted to do career wise when I was 15. My first career job out of college had a starting salary of $85,000 in today's dollars, and it was a long way from Silicon Valley and Manhattan where it was worth something.

[BraveHeart97]

@potatoismee Define immature. Most young women in their 20s are immature as well.

[MrNameless]

By more security, you mean $$$

[Onlythisone]

My old man is poor, but he wasn't scared... Guys my age huddled in the corner grumbling about why they can't talk to me. The difference is like trying to talk to children in a foreign language, all you can do is make soothing hand gestures and speak in a monotone voice to prevent them from throwing a tantrum... Then handles the child and understands what you are saying completely, the only person to ever speak your language.

[BraveHeart97]

Have you considered that some men have social anxiety and that’s why they have trouble talking to women.

[Onlythisone]

Good thing they stay away than

[Kkaos]

Most women do date men around their age, but it is true that it's pretty common to see a woman dating an older man and it is for the reasons that you listed. Most women like more dominant men of higher status, and they can usually find that in older men. One of the things young guys have to do to many women is to prove to them that they are a man and not a boy, older men don't need to do this.

[WalterRadio]

You bring up a good point: The alpha male. Power is attractive.

I tell the boys their age what to do and they do it. I can make a phone call and sign a piece of paper or two and men with bulldozers will show up to tear down a building and build another one in that spot. If a girlfriend of mine wants to go to a broadway musical halfway across the country, I can make that happen with a mouse and a keyboard. If she has something to say to a congressman, I get her a meeting.

[Kkaos]

@WalterRadio Yep, thanks for that example. That's exactly what I was getting at. Very few younger men would have that level of power and responsibility.

[Brewmaster531]

Women in their twenties that want to date older men want to date them because they think they are more mature, something that is absolutely not true. If an older man wants a younger woman, he's either taking advantage of a younger woman, or he thinks he can connect with a young woman, which if that's the case, how mature can he really be if he needs someone so young to connect with?

[sharke55]

Yours is just an opinion because you can't say for certain that it is absolutely not true that an older man is not more mature than a guy in his early twenties. Certainly it is not true in all cases, there's a good chance that a man in his 40s or 50s is more mature than a 20 year old boy

[Brewmaster531]

@sharke55 I'm not saying that's always the case. I just question an older man's level of maturity if he's attracted to younger women because of their age. If they want someone young because of their age, it must be because they like that level of maturity. How mature can one be if they're attracted to a person who isn't very mature? I just find the concept of "I want an older man because they are mature and more experienced" to be bullshit. If a younger woman gets with an older man and the older man is happy, I question his maturity level

[jennifer_bloom]

younger woman don't have a lot of life experience and are often weak and insecure. They want a stronger guy who is wiling to take care of them and provide for them and a younger guy can't usually afford to do that.

[sharke55]

Brewmaster, you did say it is absolutely not true, which means you believe it to always be true. You did not say it's not true in some cases. There are levels of maturity in older people and younger people. It is possible to find a higher level of maturity in a younger person. Regardless, an older man choosing to date a younger woman does not always have anything to do with his maturity level. Just find a girl that likes guys your age and don't put down the girls that like older men and don't put down men that like and are able to date younger girls. I have a two degrees and a Master's degree and own three businesses. I don't believe my maturity level is any lower simply because I like going out with younger women.

[WalterRadio]

My girlfriend is 21 and we've been together since a few weeks after she turned 20. I am older than her mother. The average age of women I date is 23 and that hasn't changed since I was 25 myself.

On every first meeting I always ask, "Why do you like older men?" The number one reason is, "They don't make me pay [for a date]". They appreciate being taken care of. Why should they be with a guy who thinks she ought to pay half (or more) when there are plenty of gentlemen who know it is the man's responsibility.

The number two reason is, "They know what they are doing [in bed]". One 20 yo I was with complained how boys her age only cared about getting off as quickly as possible, leaving her to fend for herself. When we had sex (our 2nd date), after I had been going down on her for over 20 minutes and she had finally had enough orgasms, she exclaimed, "That's why I like older men!" I have been with several young women who had never had an orgasm with a guy (neither intercourse nor oral) and even two who never had one at all before they were with me. One beautiful 19yo I was with a few years ago never had one. We had sex a few hours after we met (via a mutual acquaintance) and she had it. I did not have nor did I ask for her number. I did give her mine. The next morning, just as I expected, she txted me and wanted to know if she could see me again.

Other reasons are "They are not clingy" "I am busy and older guys understand that and give me my space" "Young guys immediately want to get married and I just don't want that right now" "Older men are not possessive or jealous" "I can learn a lot"

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Ever since my very first date in my teens, I've never dated a guy older (not even a minute) than me. I didn't give much thought to their money, maturity or experience then. I just wanted a guy to have fun with and was respectful. I always promised myself that I'll take care of myself and not depend on and use any guy for his money, maturity and/or experience.

[My-Shangri-La]

Feeeeeeeeeetttttttt

[Jason_Storm84]

From personnal girlfriends of mine, those guys tend to threat them like princess... like a queen.. they are not fuck boy... they know how to appreciate a women.. and used their experience to make them feel special... nothing wrong with that... but it would explain why... when compared to young fuck boy... the choice is easy

[Just_Me89]

Well I'm in my late 20's and I don't know anyone who is in their 20's who is dating anyone over 35.
However, older men are more adult than many men our own age, many guys in their 20's are still too interested in going out with their bros and getting wasted and aren't at all interested in getting their life together for my liking, that's why I may date an older guy.

[WalterRadio]

I know lots of women in their 20's who only date men over 35.

I have also run into quite a few women 18 to 21 who only date men over 30.

The largest difference I know is a married couple of 30 years difference. I think they got married when she was about 24 and he was 54 or 55.

[Just_Me89]

@WalterRadio Yeah I know a couple of people who married people quite a bit older than then (in one situation it was the woman who was 16yrs older).

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is 12 and a half years older than me. I didn't seek it or it plan that, we just met and clicked right away. However, it makes sense to me because I was also attracted to the maturity as myself am really mature and often struggle relating to a lot if people my age anyway. Can't speak for everyone but that may have something to do with it

[JessForAdvice]

I’m 25 and wouldn’t go for anyone my age or younger. I honestly think men my age aren’t as matured as I am. I think it’s the same with most men. It takes longer for me to grow up than women. That’s what they say anyway 😂.

[Repa33]

Security, stability, maturity. When you think 20 year old you dont think stable and mature

[BraveHeart97]

Why not?

[Repa33]

a lot of guys at that age wanna have fun and live thier lives, experience new things and people not settle down and get serious with one person

[WalterRadio]

@BraveHeart97
"Why not?"
Do YOU know any 20 year old guys that have their own house, a 6-figure income, no consumer debt, six months of salary as liquid assets, their retirement well planned, and appropriate insurance for every aspect of their lives?

[Pamina]

I don't know, I don't. I prefer guys my own age or only slightly older and I'm also okay with younger guys.

[underneathsunrise]

Not every women want to date or feel they're dating a baby, they one really masculine guy, like feel they are dating with a MAN

[Dreamweaver671]

Has something to do with

They know what they are fucking doing...

They know how to "treat" a woman...

The list goes on

[Anonymous]

They’d rather leech off a guy who has made it rather than make it themselves.

[cherryphi82]

I don't, never have. For me it's same age or younger.

[cherryphi82]

I also guarantee that all these young hot chicks who date old Grandpa-y looking guys have side guys...

[WalterRadio]

I am not a grandpa-y, more like daddy-y. However, no, my 21 yo girlfriend does not have any other guy.

[cherryphi82]

@WalterRadio There's always exceptions.

[oddwaffle]

Money.

Maturity.

Security.

Confidence... etc.

[Honglitha]

Because older men can treat you better than the young ones. But that's only my opinion

[BraveHeart97]

How? Most old men use women only for sex which is why they only go for younger women. Young men can understand young women better than old men.

[WalterRadio]

@BraveHeart97
"Young men can understand young women better than old men."
You have demonstrated a perfect example of immaturity that many women shun.

Most teenagers and many young people make the error that older people have always been old and they are the first to have an experience. Nothing is farther from the truth. Not only have we experienced the same challenges, but we have overcome those challenges and watched many others do the same. This results in a vast collection of knowledge and techniques that you don't have and often manifests as wisdom.

Not only do we understand younger women better than you do, we show them the way forward. This makes their lives a whole lot easier and happier.

[BraveHeart97]

@WalterRadio Young men can have the same wisdom as old men if we bothered looking for it. I even witnessed some intelligent, mature young men who got rejected and dumped. Let’s face it, when it comes to old men, it is money that the woman is after.

[WalterRadio]

@BraveHeart97
"Young men can have the same wisdom as old men if we bothered looking for it."
It will take you about 20 years to find it.

[jimmy2]

my girlfriend is 31 i am 58. she see and feels love like never before. sex is much better

[Celtero]

It's for status and money.

[Anonymous]

They tend to have more money.

[ikarus100]

Sexual experiment or respect

[krowlordz]

Money, or they have a side guy