Is dating more than one person cheating?

I've been on two dates with a guy and we talk all the time. We talk about getting intimate but we're not exclusive.
I've been talking and going on dates with other guys too. Now, I've been talking to another guy I like too.
Is it cheating if we're not official yet? Even if we get intimate? What if I get intimate with this new guy too?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on how you define a date. If you consider, "Hey, would you like to go grab a cup of coffee" at your local cafe then I wouldn't consider it cheating. You're not even at the point where you're "talking" but not in a relationship. If you consider "dating" as in you go over to his house, cuddle up on the couch watching a movie and maybe making out. Since nothing sexual happen you don't consider that to be intimate. . . which then brings us to how you define "intimate". Long story short, No, most likely not cheating.

    But it also falls back to how they see it in the end. Would they be pissed off if they knew about the other. As well as if you would be upset if you found out that either one of them had another chick that they were dating in the same fashion that they're dating you with. You talked about being intimate with guy number 1. How would you feel if he had the same exact conversation about intimacy with another woman. Your answer to that is what I would consider to be the answer to this question.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm sort of in the same situation. I've probably been on 4 dates the last month. 8 total the last 2? I've had 2 second dates. I'm seeing one person again, at least that's the plan.

    Dating is whittling down your options to the ones you like and that like you back. I've onky liked 3 guys I've been out with. Had a second date with two. Looking at a 3rd date with one, and I'm not seeing anyone else unless this one falls out too.

    We're not official yet, and we have both talked about that. He's deleted his profile on POF though. I haven't yet. However after date 3 we might talk about being more official, if it works out.

    I'd say just whittle them down.. As long as you're not sleeping with them all while dating another, I'd say that's ok. If you start getting intimate, its probably time to pick one. Tal about being exclusive, don't just do guesswork. Communication is key, especially in the beginning of a relationship.

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    • Ummm looking back to this post "Communication is key" and "dated multiple, but still haven't found the right one to settle with'" are sill the true themes today

      This is my new account by the way (have not been deleted)

    • Show All
    • Wow I am still alive, this is insane. You working tonight?

    • 7d

      This is insane lol, youve made it so long this time

      Not last night but tonight I am. Got called in

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 98

  • As long as you all agree that you're not exclusive then I don't see how you're breaking any rules. In that case it can't be cheating. If you're purposely hiding it because the ground rules haven't been communicated then it's irresponsible and potentially could turn into cheating. Until you're officially together tho, it can't be cheating, just very hurtful at most.

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  • Itโ€™s not cheating if not established. I personally stop dating others once I have sex with one, and then wait to see where it goes. I just think itโ€™s kinda gross to be sleeping with multiple people at the same time. The risk is the guy you want to maybe get exclusive with could be turned off if you are dating others. But, if you are dating others how much do you really like the first guy? All this is way too common in the online dating world, but ur not doing anything wrong...

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  • It's not cheating if you have no commitment to one another.
    I guess the other way to look at it is that eventually, you stop dating other guys and you stay with him; what if he is still dating other women at that time? Just because you stopped doesn't mean he has to or will. Would you feel cheated at that point?

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  • I think that's the definition of cheating... if you're hiding them from each other and they're under the impression that you're exclusively with them, I think you know you're doing something wrong.

    If you're unsure about which one you would like to date in the long term, better to be honest with everyone in the early stages. Avoids drama down the the road. Good luck

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  • Not if you aren't serious with any of them , dating just means you're weighing your options , jig you r having sex with any of them and show affection the second u do that then it makes someone feel more connected so be careful if you aren't ready you settle down cuz that can cause shit , but just going on dates and getting to know someone is fine I dated 5 girls at 1 time before and was upfront about that I am keeping my options open until I find the right one

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  • Dating phase? I wouldn't consider it cheating unless you reach the boyfriend girlfriend stage. But as a courtesy you could tell the guys that you are still seeing other guys as you figure who is best for you.

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  • If you are both clear that you're not exclusive then I wouldn't call it cheating. But, I wouldn't be surprised if either one of these guys dropped you like a hot potato if they find out about the other one.

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  • if you get intimate it is unsaid that it is exclusive so then yes it would be cheating how do people not know this. This is like the most basic things about dating stuff we learn at like what 10? 11? going on a date with different guys? no problem. getting intimate with 1? exclusivity has been achieved.

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    • Thanks. I've never dated around. Always gone straight to bf/gf from the first kiss but this time I kept my options open so I was wondering where the boundaries were. Thank you for clarifying :)

    • of course it is rather said that with today's society they don't really teach people how a relationship starts they just give you the you like someone and they like you and you ask them out boom you dating, good luck. woah woah woah hold up context how did we go from question to exclusive in 2 seconds? so lost right now. that seems to be how most people think it starts and they get no clarification on it. my parents went out of there way to make sure I knew as much about a relationship is possible which might be why I have an extreme aversion to uncommitted, unauthentic relationships.

    • I disagree, you are under no obligation to have a single sex partner while "dating", of couse you should be open while doing so, and let others know they aren't exclusive. But at the end of the day unless you are in a committed relationship it doesn't matter who you are doing.

  • I don't think it's cheating if you're not intimate with either and you haven't been seeing either for long and are not exclusive, but if you're going to be intimate with one then end it with the other one and be honest with them

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  • Definitely doesn't seem like it. You even made it clear you haven't gotten intimate with either of them. It's defenitly a weird situation but i dont thinm you should worry about it untill you've decided to get intimate with one of them

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  • Why not tell them that you are seeing two guys at once and see the outcome
    Cheating is when one party is unaware of your doings whether you exclusive or nah

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  • I wouldn't consider it cheating. However, if we've been dating long enough to become intimate and then I find out that you are sleeping with other men, I'd be done with you. So while I don't consider it cheating, I'm not a fan of putting my dick somewhere where another dick has recently ventured.

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  • Well are you okay with him doing the same?
    Does he know this?
    If you answer no to both, I definitely wouldn't be saying you're being faithful to him either, regardless of together or not.

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  • I think its not a big deal if u are not commited to one, even after relationship if ur partner feels comfortable u can move around with anybody,
    Cheating is when u commited to one person and connected physically with others, if ur partner knows and alloys u that u are a loyal person

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  • Not it isn't, if would give exclusivity when I like a girl I would never get any.
    When time to choose arrives, you must select one of them or tell them you are open to an opened relation (or being a "bitch") but nowadays there is no compromise, there is no exclusivity its a rule.

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  • If you do thats cheating unless you make it an open relationship but you and your boyfriend have to agree on it, y'all are emotionally together but can have sex with others, i wouldn't recommend it tho

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  • Not that your doing anything wrong, but if your heading in the direction of a possible relationship with one of the guys its best to make a decision some what quick. Building a good fou tain for the relationship starts around now. You dont want to have a bad foundation itll leave a bitter taste ya know? That being said if things dont seem to be going anywhere in that direction just yet, and you both feel that way dont worry!

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  • Cheating requires to be in relationship that's my take. So it's not but I think it's fair on guy too, he prolly is hoping to be with you. But he doesn't realise what you are doing too you kno

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  • If you make it clear that you're just dating and that it's not an exclusive relationship the no. If you haven't agreed on that with everyone you're dating it is.

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  • I would consider cheating at the moment you become official. If you get really emotionally involved as well.

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  • If you're not exclusive it's not cheating but you should make up your mind and not lead anyone on and ghost them

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  • No, not if you aren't at the relationship point. If is getting serious with one like date 5, then you should probably either decide or cut one loose.

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  • In a very broad sense, cheating involves betraying a partnerโ€™s expectations about the type of contact the cheater has with others.
    In my personal opinion, I do not think that this counts as cheating because as long as one isn't married or engaged, there isn't any rules limiting me to dating one person at a time. Unless both parties have made that promise to each other, then I see no reason why could one not try to increase his/her chance of finding a better partner to spend his/her life with. With that said, it is very important to set both parties' expectations of each other if both were to enter into a relationship.
    Intimacy is exclusive to people one feels extremely comfortable with, and it can be more than one person. As long as no one gets hurt, everything is all good.

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  • Hell no. I rotate gfs and if they find someone else so be it. They all have their others too.

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  • no commitment? not cheating. Unless there was some sort of silent agreement to be exclusive, then date away antil you find Mr. Right.. Or Mr. RighNow

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  • That's something you should ask him if he's comfortable with. If you don't and he finds out after possibly thinking y'all are exclusive, then you'll be hurting him. If you just ask, no harm no foul.

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  • Im old fashioned so i beleive one and done but its all personal, i feel there is a sanctity to a relationship where one and one make a future with two stories together.

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  • I agree its not cheating as long as, everybody knows and is ok with it. You can have sex with who you want so long as you are not exclusive. Jealousy is pure evil

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  • Depends on the relationship and people. Best way to find out is to ask the person if they are ok with you still being intimate with other men.

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  • No that's not cheating at all the only time it's cheating is when you and the other person agreed to be exclusive with one another. Then if you're seeing someone else it's cheating what you're doing now is your dating you're basically dating different guys to see which guy it is you really want to be with or until you find the guy that you want to be with that's perfectly normal and it's good to do that cuz if you don't try out different things how will you know what you like and what you don't like so experimentation is good

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What Girls Said 28

  • I would think that if you're getting intimate with someone you should be exclusive if not then that person may consider it exclusive and think you are cheating if you're seeing others because you are sending mixed signals. Also, why would you want to be intimate with 2 different men? Intimacy should be shared with someone special IMHO, but I've only been with 1 person so that's just me.

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  • Yeah you do not talk directly about being exclusive but you get intimate. You get intimate with everyone? , Sometimes you do not talk but by actions you get it. Ask yourself how would you feel if he got intimate with other ladies?

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    • Very true. Thanks, just wondering where the boundaries are. I've only kissed this first guy so don't wanna betray anyone by doing something out of order

  • If you're intimate, it gives a level of exclusive unless you've previously stated how open you'd like to be. Date wise, id say is fine, but be ready to make a decision and choose one. Unless you talk and they agree they'd like to be in a open relationship.

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  • so in my opinion, unless two people who go on dates and have sex tell each other "so this is a relationship" "we are a couple"it doesn't count as cheating cause you're basically just friends with benefits until its official.
    .

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  • I don't see it as cheating until you both agree to a relationship. You could be open and honest about chatting with others while you're a single lady. in my opinion

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  • As long as you're not exclusive or purposefully creating the illusion of being exclusive, no. Dating is supposed to be no strings attached, getting to know each other fun. If you're exclusive you can't really call it dating anymore, because at that point it's just a relationship.
    But pointing out to whoever you're dating that you're not exclusive (yet) and that you might be seeing other people as well is fair. Be as honest as possible with the people you're seeing, so that nobody ends up feeling led on or as though you've been hiding something from them. And of course, at some point you'll have to make a decision. You can't just be in limbo with both of them for weeks upon weeks. At some point you need to figure out who it is that you click with the most, and stick with him. If you juggle too much and for too long, the guys you're dating will lose interest. Especially if they feel like they constantly have to compete for your attention.

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  • If you're not officially together no it's not technically cheating. But you're gonna get their hopes up.

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  • No its not cheating, cause you are not in a exclusive relationship. You're not boyfriend and girlfriend, however, a lot of people don't enjoy people talking to others while still trying to get to know that person. It makes things complicated if you bring other people into the mix before seeing where things go with that person. It makes them feel like they've been lead on the entire time. I personally, only like to speak/see one person exclusively when it comes to dating. If we realize we're not compatible then its okay to move on to the next person. But talking to multiple people at once just makes the whole thing confusing, cause then you may like them but end up liking the other person too... thats why its best to just see one person exclusive.

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  • girl make up ur mind do you really need to be dating so many people

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  • If you want to be in a relationship with someone itโ€™s called cheating but in if you connect like just friends no problem

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  • Yes it is cheating u need to think and pray which one u want to be with

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  • They should both know about the other. Or yes I consider it cheating

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  • yes, clearly

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  • Whatever u know your limits u live with your mistakes

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  • No. You're no actually in a relationship. You're a mature adult. Not official = Not cheating.

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  • Not cheating unless you have both agreed to being exclusive. Youโ€™re totally cool ๐Ÿ˜Š

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  • Same time yes cause u need to take a time to feel the beauty of one then decide.

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  • No but I sleeping with 2 different people is gross.

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    • How would you feel if a guy did this to you? What are you saying for exactly?

    • I've not slept with either of them but I'm wondering where the boundaries are so I don't cross them

    • That's good. I definitely would not sleep with either of them. Figure out which guy is right for you and don't lead one on if you're clicking with the other more. It might confuse you and you gotta be careful how you treat them. If you like one over the other then you'll know who to continue with and who to drop.

  • In my opinion, it's cheating

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  • Yes...

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  • Its not cheating until you are monogamous.

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  • Sure

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  • Unnecessary messing around.

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  • Only cheating if official relationship

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  • there is nothing official so it is not cheating

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  • no you're not cheating. You haven't openly committed to one person, you have a right to choose who you want to see. This also implies you haven't decided which guy you want to seriously date. But when you do, you should respect your significant other's feelings and stop seeing other people. which should be soon, before you go too deep.

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  • Listen, it is not cheating at all. You are basically trying to get to know them. Trying to see if you have connection with any of them. Then ones you chose you let the other go... If it's just dating then no, it's not cheating at all.

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  • Yes you are cheating. Its not cheating if they allow you to have an open relationship. Why be dating two guys when you can only love one. If you want to have sex with them then leave them and just be friends with benefits.

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    • The whole point with dating is to figure out if you match with the person and to get to know them. During the dating stage, you're not in love with anyone. Just interested.

    • That's when friends with benefits come in... I had many growing up cause I didn't want a relationship even tho I hung out with them, drank with them, went on dates with them, had sex. Fell in love but they didn't really love me back the same way. It's better to have friends with benefits. I had one for 2 years (lost contact after the 3rd year *even tho I never fucked him or had a boyfriend that time* only send photos back and forth & flirted/talked night/day) 2 years later I have a daughter *someone's else* we met Oct 2017 & been together ever since. So who ever says that friends with benefits don't work out never fell in love.

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