Cooking a girl dinner on the first date?

[coco489]

So I just got home from a first date and am so shocked by how charming this guy is for his age. I usually write younger guys off thinking they'd be so immature since I've had awful luck with guys my OWN age (and older), but this one is far from immature.

Anywho, we were in a class together, ended up going for drinks one night, had a great 3 hour conversation, then this week after our final he asked me out (for tonight). He was quite secretive of what he had planned for the date and when I showed up at his place I found that he had prepared dinner and wine and everything. Obviously I was impressed -- take notes fellas ;)

But now I'm over analyzing everything. Like if I talked too much, or about the wrong things, etc. So I'm wondering what exactly makes or breaks a first date for you guys? I'm assuming that inviting a girl over to your place and taking the time to cook for her means that you're somewhat interested but what is it that even urges you to go to those lengths in the first place?

Basically, what makes you really interested or like a girl (to the point that you'd want to cook her dinner)?

[alimahadtheman]

GOD woman calm down. Seriously, take a deep breath and consider knowing the FACT that this guy ALREADY likes you likes you.

If a guy is taking time to cook his woman a nice meal for a date, it is beyond the point of simple friendship.

You should not be asking what made him cook for you, you should be asking what you should do FURTHER to make sure this wasn't the last time. And CHILL, he only did what he did because he IS falling in love with you to begin with. And it's silly to ask why he is loco for you, he OBVIOUSLY thinks you're attractive inside out DUH. It's the same for every couple sweetheart.

Cool down about your anxieties. Play it cool, let it sail. Don't be too desperate because you might freak him away, be yourself. He loves you for who you are and you have to do the same. It is essential to be genuine to grow a healthy friendship since it is the first step for what becomes ultimately a lasting relationship.

I personnally want to take a date to the next level when the girl makes me laugh, can have a decent mature and intellegent conversation but does get cute silly at times and obviously looks pretty. I assume you already posess such qualities, you are obviously a gorgeous young lady and you should know and be comfortable to settle with this fact. Don't underestimate yourself because if you do, he will see. You are worth being loved by this man and that is the very reason he did something for you hardly any sh*theads do these days anymore. Be aware and confident.

Having said that, allow things to grow, love is not an overnight phenomena. It takes time. Just water it.

Have more night outs, healthy intellectual conversations, and try new things together. You are under my definition already in a relationship with this guy. And since he has signaled acceptance for you, you should do the same and ask him out as well instead of being insecure and thinking low of yourself. You are just nervous, but don't let this get into your head and spoil your future with this man if he is meant to be.

Hope this answers your question, good luck and stay positive! =D

[coco489]

Thank you so much! It's definitely not a matter of insecurity, just nerves. I can be myself around him and be totally comfortable, which scares me in a way. And like any semi-good looking girl, I worry that some guys don't see past my looks or let it affect their thinking (in a bad way). Really, I am thinking about furthering it and having a second date which is why I'm asking this. I suppose I could be bold and text/call him first...but that's a little frightening...and might seem clingy...haha

[alimahadtheman]

If this guy was attracted just to your body and NOT you, he would be a jerk like all other perverted jerks. But he is not desperate, so allow him to grown. You are LUCKY you can be who you are with him.

And there's nothing wrong with you asking him out or even texting. It shows YOUR interest. I get butterflies when a girl I like finally gives me the signs. There is no doubt this guy likes you. 'Friends' don't make meals for each other, lovers do. let it sail as it grows naturally,

Good luck! =D

[markml]

Glad you learned that age and maturity are not very well correlated.

I'm guessing that before the date, you two had already clicked in a special way. He sees something unique about you. Maybe it's something you two share in common, or something else he doesn't see every day.

That's at least one reason a guy would go out of his way to give a good impression on the first date. Of course, every guy wants to give a good impression on any first date, and some guys just try harder than others.

I wouldn't worry too much about how the first date went though, or if you did anything wrong. One thing that's almost always true is that when a guy puts that much effort into a first date, he's already hoping that there will be a second date. So rest assured that even if the date was a disappointment for him, he'll still ask you out again. While a date can go either way, guys are usually pretty quick to determine if someone is worth their time or not, and there would have to be more than mild disappointment for him to change his opinion of you. Plus he doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would throw in the towel very quickly.

[coco489]

Thanks! This definitely helped ease my over analyzing mind =)

[sheltielov3r]

Aww that is so cute :) I would love if my boyfriend did that for me

[coco489]

Yes it was absolutely adorable, definitely impressed me =)

[DonJuan]

Dinner on a second date (drinks was the 1st) is a bit forward for my tastes...but whatever.

What makes or breaks a first date for me? A whole plethora of things. Is she helping the conversation along? Did she touch me? What's her body language?

Only until I deem you worthy, would I invite you to my place and cook you dinner...and I can't make that distinction after 1 date.

[markml]

No, I think she's right about it being her first date, because the drinks after class wasn't planned. That was more of a get-together than a date.

[coco489]

Yeah I just didn't consider going out for casual drinks a date but I can see why some people would. Thanks for your input DonJuan!

[Gregs]

well I stopped going to those lengths when I found out I could get laid a lot easier by being a bit of an asshole, but I guess if I'm already sleeping with a girl I might do something nice for her like that, I like to cook and all I'll be doing is inviting a woman into my world, in which I already cook for myself or my friends

[coco489]

Haha well I'd hope that guys wouldn't do nice things like that just to get laid...

[Gregs]

well I don't see why you hope that, guy will always want to get laid but instead of doing something nice for you to get laid they are being assholes to get laid, but hey, that's exactly the kind of attitude that made me stop doing nice things for women unless I'm already f***ing them

[Quadrophonic84]

It takes a classy girl to appreciate this on a first date. Where I live (Southwestern USA), girls get creeped out if you do serious things to show them interest right away, even if it's just bringing them a rose when you meet them. They automatically say you're desperate. Wish I could find one like you that would appreciate it.

[Prof_Don]

I have to concur with your 2nd sentence. Being born and raised in southern CA, I could imagine the girl, in the majority of cases, being overwhelmed (or worse) if a guy does anything overly-romantic on the first date.

I suppose that's how CA dating is, since the culture is more laid-back than further east.

Still love my CA girls, though. :)

[Quadrophonic84]

Haha, I'm not knocking CA girls. Born and raised in San Jose ;)

[wolfgang]

i would cook for a girl who would appreciate it (I ll do this only if I am into her)and more over it is kinda relaxation for me...i find we would get to know each other well when we do some thing for the other person rather than paying just the bills .

Any thing about immature stuff ...i think it depend on the person and the age . So be open to date guys plus or minus 5 years .

take care