My boyfriends ex won’t stop texting him! What should I do? (Page 2)

Question

So in short, my boyfriends ex keeps trying to call and text him, she’s previously invited him out. My problem is that my boyfriend won’t tell her to stop, yesterday she called and I asked him to call her back, see what she wants and tell her that he’s in a relationship now so stop contacting him, but he refused. He was so against it. They didn’t even properly date, more of just had hook ups and sex. In the end my boyfriend blocked her but I’m so annoyed that he’s refusing to tell her to stop, I feel like she won’t stop unless he tells her too. Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend just laughed it off yesterday when she called and said that I was being out of order for having the hump.  Am I being unreasonable? I don’t see why he can’t just tell her to stop, and why he can’t do it in front of me.

brownie11 · Answer

i would come right out and ask him like I've had to do before, by the way I'm a guy. But besides the point, what's the property together split money on a dog or cat or adopt a child I would ask him, why is she calling you. You're probably going to have to get him an ultimatum

cdb7373 · Answer

He should block her number from everything and that should stop it. If he won't block her number then he's a piece of shit. He should have done that anyway. Just out of respect for you. If he don't, he might not be finished with her. You can't trust someone who isn't loyal and respectful to you.

Txpipelnr77 · Answer

I am baffled by how insecure society has become. He he steps out on him the tell him to beat feet and try again next time. At least you'll learn who he is early. I think all of you on here need to stay out of relationships till you get some confidence. Haha

SarahsSummer · Answer

Unless he’s given you reason to distrust him, You are being unreasonable and insecure. Your boyfriend probably won’t tell her to stop so this ex won’t think you are insecure. In a way, he’s protecting your honor.

Fallove · Answer

You need to dump him. They are still messing around with each other. And she obviously doesn't know about you. Or she just doesn't care. He doesn't want to be in a relationship. He just wants you for his needs. Both of you are getting played.

RIVERTAY888 · Answer

Text her back and be nice and say please dont text ever again or we will be sending the police to your home and they will have a word with you and tell her she can be put in jail for all that texting and this is her last chance tell her that you both have all her texts and you will be showing them to the police and l bet she will stop texting

daniel_isme000 · Answer

I think you should raise your standards. You are allowing this situation to go on. If it was my girlfriend, she would do that once. The second time, she'll be single or at least not with me. But in the end you have to decide how much that bothers you. Clearly not enough since you are still with him. I believe that once you make you stand, you'll know how much your really is into you. This is not like he didn't replace the toilet paper. He's 100% still seeing his ex.

QueenOfThoughts · Answer

If he ain’t taking it seriously and laughed it off after all that then he’s probably not serious with keeping you around hunny, so kick that ass to the curb cause he’s obviously got another bed to go to, and you gotta make sure he ain’t shittin in yours anymore 👏🏻👏🏻

bulletbob555 · Answer

I'm sure he has told her but she's not listening. I'm sure it is quite unsettling for you as well. Give it some time to go away. She's trying to get to you so the more you make out of it means she's winning. At some point she should stop if not he should block her as much as possible.

Kaprim · Answer

Hmmm! First of all you're not being unreasonable, it's just normal for you to react that way, however it is never a good thing for an ex coming back and bugging around in a new relationship. He should better man up and ask her to stop before it becomes something else, at least if he cares about you he should act like such and stop hanging out or exchanging with his ex.

Ecco939 · Answer

Unreasonable? Yes kinda. His relationship with others isn't you're concern. That stated, you already have issues with trust here and there is no coming back from that really. Once you don't trust the person you are with. A strong relationship isn't possible really.

hereforthefunofit · Answer

First blocking her means nothing, that can be turned on and off at anytime. Second and you may not like this part, he is either still having his hookups or has her on stand by.

sierrabean · Answer

don’t worry. you aren’t being unreasonable. it is human nature to feel this way. you’re trying to make sure your boyfriend remains loyal to you. like someone else said, it’s kinda a red flag that he wasn’t telling her to stop contacting him. i may be wrong, but seems like he likes the attention. i’m getting side chick vibes. i’m sorry this is happening, so shitty girl

mrArcher · Answer

NO attention. The less attention she gets, the less she'll care.
Or let your boyfriend play double agent. He has more power over her than you do so he could bring her down.
Let him go out with her a few times and then cut her down.
Obviously don't let him cheat on you, whatever you do.
And be patient, don't lose your temper. You might scare him off.

juliensaad · Answer

I think if he really loves you and he saw you mad from this girl he would immediatly block her and never talked to her again or answer her.. He would be sad if he saw you sad or mad and would do anything to make you happy.. Thats what i would do :p

Anonymous · Answer

No perfectly stable couple would react the way he is. Im sorry, love, but he's keeping her as a backup. He thinks of he ends the calling with her, he won't have a back-up fuck buddy if/when he ends things with you or when you to him.
You need a better man.

Budvizer · Answer

If this guy is showing signs of disloyalty then it is probably best to move on. Can't say for certain but it is very possible he is still connecting with her for an under the table affair or just as a backup.

HelloMyNameizChris · Answer

Well you definitely aren't being unreasonable, but the way it sounds i think he might wanna cheat on you with her or still be with her or something. Thats the best reason i can come up with as to why he wouldn't say that to her

ChrisKniti · Answer

I would want to talk to my significant other about it. It may very well be that they are still friends even if you're together. I would proceed by talking to his ex in person so you know with whom you're dealing with. If you (still) can't accept that, tell him that and hope that he respects that or shows more transparency by telling you what they have been talking about. Honesty is important in a relationship.

daynamariex · Answer

I wouldn't trust him. If it wasn't a proper relationship, he probably didn't even end it before starting something with you. That's why he was delaying telling her to leave him alone. I wouldve abandoned ship.

gio_isaac · Answer

Texting your Ex while your in a relationship with somekne else for whatever reason is really idiotic unless the breakup was mutual and they remained friends.

Sowanaski · Answer

If you keep trying to control him it'll only lead him into her arms and possibly between her legs. If he leaves you, he leaves you. It just means he was never really right for you in the first place

us3rn4m3x · Answer

Uhm I think the best thing you can do in this situation is talking to him about how you feel about it and try to get an answer out of it that the both of you agree with. It'll make the both of you stronger. Good luck♡

Handsomedope2 · Answer

he's not respecting you. He should have no problem telling her to stop contacting him if he was serious about you guys relationship, keep your eyes out for him.

philjones · Answer

Your approach is absolutely correct. You should be a bit more strong and make your guy tell his ex that he's in a relationship and so don't try to call him hoping things will patch up just like that. by the way, this act will also reflect how much your boyfriend is committed in the relationship with you.

Best Of Luck!

Curmudgeon · Answer

I would introduce yourself to her and tag along. You might learn something about your man. if you show up, she will likely back off.

screwup32 · Answer

Christmas is coming up. Get him a new sim card and £20 top up voucher. If she is still texting him after that, you know there is more to the story!!!  That is, he gave her the new number.

Rico1987 · Answer

Dont give him an ultimatum because it never works out well for those that do but it make be time to give him a little taste of his own medicine if he's unwilling to put himself in your shoes. Have some guy you know start calling, texting, posting on your social media and when he notices it just brush it off like you haven't even noticed it. Continue til he offers to get rid of her if you stop talking to him.

Rmelk101 · Answer

Ask him to just go no contact. If it worsens ask him to change his phone number. If he won't do either. Then you both need to talk it over calmly to set boundaries. Exes are exes for a reason. If the both of you are really into each other, the boundaries talk will help the both of you strengthen your relationship.

janeross0915 · Answer

I had a similar situation with my boyfriend and his ex but fortunately he told her to stop contacting him. Tell him how you feel about and make it completely clear

vish_123 · Answer

I feel ya boyfriend is also interested in her. That's the reason he is not willing to tell her. Spy on him if he is having an affair with her. If so screw him and Chuck dat ass or else deal smart by not fighting but using physically. Like how other girls do.

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ScaryCool · Answer

Sounds like you have a boyfriend who is afraid to 'cut ties' with them even if it could meaning hurting ties with you. If the roles were reversed im sure he'd be the same way.

Aynsof · Answer

As you describe it no it does not found unreasonable  It seems like he may be trying to keep his options open perhaps he is not happy with or confident in your relationship?

626Love · Answer

If I'm uncomfortable with it my boyfriend would need to respect that. It's either me or her and if he continued to speak to someone I wasn't comfortable with him speaking with then I would tell him its obvious your friend or ex is more important than your GIRLFRIENDS feelings. He should respect you if he doesn't then thats sketchy and shady.

therightheight · Answer

This sounds like a red flag. He don't seem to mind it upsetting you, that's bad news.

SongBird3 · Answer

If he doesn’t tell her to fuck off you tell him to fuck off. Clearly he wants her around for something

kruzan · Answer

Have you asked him how he would feel if it was the other way around and one of your ex's were contacting you?

MrQuick · Answer

He is being unreasonable. Your relationships are incompatible with each other and he should cut her out..., you should cut him out.

WillyD · Answer

does he let you see her texts? the reason i ask this is he may genuinely have no interest in her anymore but is just getting payback.

pruts · Answer

Relationships are built out of trust, if you don't trust him than break up with him. It's YOUR problem not his, please do him a favor and break up.
You should work on your trust issues before getting into relationships.

markscott · Answer

The real problem is you boy friend, not his ex. He obviously doesn't respect you very much.

CuChullan · Answer

You're not being unreasonable at all. He is by not telling her he's not interested. He's still interested and that's the problem.

Flawless_Majessty97 · Answer

If he laughed it off, that means he’s a dick and you should dump him immediately.

thatbiguy · Answer

So personally I don't see the problem, some of my best friends now are previous exes, same with my fiance.

Josh49 · Answer

Ask him to opt, between you and her, if she keeps on contacting your guy then ask him to choose as you can't share your guy

HeldaJohn · Answer

I get your point and I don’t think you’re unreasonable I would be at unease too but I mean he didn’t give u a reason to not trust him

wadeabeee · Answer

She's his side chick. He doesn't want to throw away the best sex he's ever had. If he doesn't tell her off then he better invite her over so you can chat with her. He sounds like a cheater.

crazydewd · Answer

Honestly, it's reasonable to be annoyed. Guys should not talk to exes. Only leads to trouble. Keeping those friendships or even communication open is just a safety net if things go wrong in their current relationship.

AcidT0y · Answer

I'm still friends with most of my ex girlfriends. If my current partner had a problem with it I'd probably just break up with her. She's not in charge of who I talk to xD
It's all good though because she trusts me.

chrisuk · Answer

Ditch him. He will Fuck her again and he's not worth the pain

Anonymous · Answer

He is entertaining it if she keeps calling! If he hasn’t taken the initiative to tell her to stop. Well then he doesn’t want her too. End it or make him end it in front of you

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know why he'd be talking to an ex when he's got you? Even if they are still friends, it wouldn't be all the time and this is just disrespecting your feelings is all this is. He should be telling her to back off a bit, or blocking her number.

Anonymous · Answer

He should have blocked her long ago. The only reasons people keep in touch with an ex is to check up on them to see if they found someone better or to potentially get back together with them.

liniana265 · Answer

You're not being unreasonable. He should take this seriously if it's bothering you, but he clearly isn't.

spidermonkey1133 · Answer

I can't really say much without knowing both the ex and your boyfriend but it sounds like he's simply keeping her as backup in case you breakup. As soon as you break up he'll probably go right back to her

slatyb · Answer

He should ignore her completely. Any response at all will encourage her. Sounds like he's doing the right thing.

jcmok · Answer

You need to be upfront and genuine with him. In the end, if he still doesn't comply, you should break up with him.

hindril · Answer

It does seem kind of odd. But maybe they are just friends? Does he tell you to stop talking to your friends? This is kind of hard to judge cause it doesn't say what they talk about.

ImatureAss · Answer

That sounds like an issue that needs to be addressed with your boyfriend. The other girl is an ex for a reason, so there should be no reason for excessive talking back and forth.

My boyfriends ex won’t stop texting him! What should I do? (Page 2)

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