Why is my boyfriend texting his ex?

my boyfriend and I have been living happily together for a few years now, with plans to spend our lives together (we talk about it regularly). its a great relationship and I am happy being with him. last week, our sex life slowed to 2 times/week (we are normally everyday ish) and my boyfriend said he just hasn't been in the mood as much.

this week it is back to normal again, but something was nagging at my mind. I looked at his messages and saw that during our "off" week he had been texting his ex-girlfriend who he hadn't talked to since prior to us meeting. they dated for 2 years and were serious, but also very young.

the texts were mainly just catching up and saying hello and then they just stopped. she kept texting, but he did not. they did both say "i miss you!" but it did not come off in a romantic way, from my impression. I only looked that once so I assume they have not resumed chatting and our relationship is back to the way it was.

my question is... is this just harmless catching up? or should I be concerned about the timing of our "off" week with their catch-up texts?

PLEASE, do not give me advice on whether or not it is right to read his texts. I already feel guilty enough and will never do it again. the man is entitled to privacy and I know this.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably felt weird that she was texting him and was worried that you may find out hence the slump. It must have been in the back of his mind. I would not ask him about it, as that would say you have been reading his texts. He is with you and not her. Times change and people change. You need to put this out of your mind as it can cause issues with your relationship and that is something you do not want. It was not important to him but it did worry him. I would not read too much into what he wrote to her. Just put thoughts out of your mind and get on with making a life together. He hasn't cheated or anything.

    Also people can have their off days too. I doubt that one can maintain sex everyday as then it will be seen to strange if they dont, or you begin to wonder what is wrong. Just go with the flow and stop worrying.


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What Girls Said 3

  • seems harmless to me he stopped texting her because he is into you

  • NOT OK! I had the same problem. You have to address this, you can say you noticed by accident but do not tell him details of every text you read. Just be calm and cool about it though. Just tell him it hurts your feelings and that you'd prefer if he didn't speak to her. If he truly loves you he'll stop. Mine didn't. I just don't think it's cool at all!

  • just ask him how he still feels about his ex and him getting together.

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