My boyfriends ex won’t stop texting him! What should I do?

So in short, my boyfriends ex keeps trying to call and text him, she’s previously invited him out. My problem is that my boyfriend won’t tell her to stop, yesterday she called and I asked him to call her back, see what she wants and tell her that he’s in a relationship now so stop contacting him, but he refused. He was so against it. They didn’t even properly date, more of just had hook ups and sex. In the end my boyfriend blocked her but I’m so annoyed that he’s refusing to tell her to stop, I feel like she won’t stop unless he tells her too. Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend just laughed it off yesterday when she called and said that I was being out of order for having the hump.

Am I being unreasonable? I don’t see why he can’t just tell her to stop, and why he can’t do it in front of me.
My boyfriends ex won’t stop texting him! What should I do?
Updates:
Update: my boyfriend finally realised how wrong he was and he messaged her to leave him alone and then blocked her. All is good now, thank you for all the responses!

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Lmao you're getting bamboozled 😂
    I suggest just ending the whole thing before you get cheated on
    If he actually cared about you and saw you as his one and only, he wouldn't hesitate a second to call her in front of you and tell her to fuck off because he has you now, and that's even without you telling him to do it, he should do it by himself if he truly loves you

    But if you're stubborn and wanna try sticking to such a bad boyfriend
    Then ask him to give you his phone and look through it
    If he refuses, dump him

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  • I think you need to tell the guy to sack up, tell his ex they are over, and stop calling. If your guy still has another woman on the hook then he isn't all that interested in you. When men really love a woman there is no other, no side chick is worth ruining a good thing because he is invested, wants you and only you, and will go out of his way to demonstrate that to you.

    Bottom line - he is not invested in you and does not care enough to end it with the other girl.

    Leave the bastard and preserve your dignity.

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    • I don't fully agree with this one. I've got this guy still texting me, who is in a serious relationship and all settled down already. He's always been kind of trying to get me to bed, but not anymore. Now he just keeps contact in a harmless way. I don't seriously think he is at all interested in me anymore, he just likes to get some attention every now and then... even though I almost never reply.

Most Helpful Girls

  • He probably did not actually block her. My guess is that they are still hanging out or possibly sleeping together. I also doubt she even knows you exist. Most women your age are not friends with benefits when another woman is involved. I'd leave him. He's totally leading you on.

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  • Yeah , I'd be pissed too. He needs to respect your feelings and boundaries. He also needs to set boundaries with her too. He hasn't, so she thinks it okay to pester him the way she has been.

    He's blocked her now, so that's as good as telling her to piss off. I'd just let it go now he's blocked her.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 180

  • When it comes to dating, I don't think people should trust a person who stays in contact with their exs. Had an ex girlfriend who did that and I tried to trust her, dumb move lol.

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  • Hiding the fact he's in a relationship is wrong.
    He seems to be trying to keep her in reserve should things with you not work out.
    Be honest with yourself. Is he worth this drama? Would you be better off finding someone who's honest and straight up and cares about how you're feeling?

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  • He is being manipulative, to a certain degree, as he knows hox it made you feel and kind of enjoying your reaction / jealousy. He is also keeping his options open, meaning he has no intention to cut ties with her.
    You have / had every right to react the way you did, in my opinion.

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  • Is he accepting her calls and replying to her texts? If yes, then that's a problem. If no, then I don't understand why you want to compell your boyfriend to talk to his ex. He may not want to have any further contact with her, and that's something you have to respect.

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  • I mean if he blocked her and isn't receiving the messages anymore, what's the big deal? She's practically gone from this world at this point. That being said, on principle, I assume if a previous lover messages me that it's because they want to get together. Why else would they? Unless they want something important they left at your place, I can't think of any other reason.

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    • I agree with both points. it's all on how he treats the situation and he laughed at her. *DUN Dun Dun..*

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    • wait bullshit with this story or bullshit with the guy? because she shouldn't be able to call him if she's blocked and that my friend. is BuLLshit.

    • Yeah that's what I'm saying!! How did he get the call at all if she was blocked? This guy doesn't sound entirely trustworthy

  • You are not being unreasonable, your boyfriend already knows he has you, so he is going for an ego boost. Give him a choice, remind him you are not just another option for him, you will not always be there for him if he is trying to squeeze his ex in. Ask him either make peace with his past and move on, or move out. You tell him you are not comfortable with this, if he does not understand the ex is making a ridge in your trust in him, he does not deserve you.

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  • If he blocked her without telling her why he was likely scared to do it. It isn't unreasonable of you. If they bumped into each other every once in a while at a store and talked for a few minutes and you responded this way you would be unreasonable, but that isn't the case

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  • Cuz he is selfish and only cares about himself , do yourself a favor and dump him and find someone that makes you a priority , how would he feel if your ex boyfriend was constantly contacting u? Trust me dump his ass , ha doesn't respect you , you are just a convienence to him

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  • If he can't tell her to stop or tell her to stop in front of you, this may mean he may still want her in her life. You're not being unreasonable. You don't want to feel like a third wheel and that's entirely understandable. May seem hard and argument provoking, but call him on it and ask if he still has feelings for his ex. This isn't going to be pretty, but there's ultimately a reason why he's taking the position he is in and being "non confrontational is not an excuse

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  • If this guy is showing signs of disloyalty then it is probably best to move on. Can't say for certain but it is very possible he is still connecting with her for an under the table affair or just as a backup.

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What Girls Said 80

  • He should respect you enough to tell her to stop or block her. Respect yourself enough to set boundaries where you are not comfortable.

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  • IMHO, your being completely stupid by dating him knowing he has the got of past and is still in contact with this person. The moment he refused, is the moment you should have broke up with him. You think he's not still having sex with her on the side? Don't be naive and cut him loose TODAY! The reason why he does it is that he has NO. RESPECT. FOR. WOMEN. Or YOU. And you just let him walk right over you. He is never going to stop. Stop throwing away your dignity. No respectful person would do what he does.

    "My boyfriend just laughed it off yesterday when she called and said that I was being out of order for having the hump. " WHAT? Drop the loser A. S. A. P. He wants to screw her and you at the same time to have power over you and her. There is no dating properly once you make it into a sexual one. He's only with you for sex, just like she was for sex. Period. That's what happens when you create sexual ties with people your not married to. Even if she is out of his life, he is still connected to her sexually.

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  • If you're telling your man to stop communicating and responding with his ex, and he won't cut it out, he probably wants to still be in contact with her, and thats not good for someone that's currently in a relationship. He may be cheating on you through him texting her. But ask him whats going on, and if be diesnt tell you, ignore him until he does, or just leave him. You have a right to know

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  • Stop talking then. You said what you had to say and you are reasonable. Take some actions now, ghost him for a montth without a notice, donr check on him just take care of yourself. he's probably openly keeping her on the side, to cheat or for his ego...

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  • No you're not. If he really wanted it to stop he could tell her to stop and, if it came down to it, block her number. I would talk to him about it and if things don't stop, end it. He is either still messing around with her, still likes her, or is trying to make you jealous. None of this is right and you deserve better. If this doesn't change, dump his ass.

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  • Just imagine if the roles are switched, and it's your ex who keep on contacting you, and your current boyfriend knows about it but you still continued to contact your ex.
    Your boyfriend asked you to stop, but you didn't. Instead, you just laughed in his face and told him he's being a pussy about it. What would his reaction be?
    I'm pretty sure your boyfriend won't accept this behaviour from you. So why should you?

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  • He still talks to her. If it is so annoying why won't he just tell her to leave him alone? Think about it sis. She knows about you but is still comfortable enough to call an text someone that is taken. I'm thinking when you guys were dating he told it wasn't serious with you. Hung out a few time and now you're here. Getting mad that he won't tell her to leave him alone.

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  • She's 2nd pick. Why would he tell her to stop because if you and him don't work out she's still there? Also, clearly if your asking him to do so and it's bothering you and he's laughing it off then he's not that serious about you and/or her. If you haven't been in a relationship long enough that booty call may be worth keeping in his eyes...

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  • Honey, womanizers are there to be friend material or many kinds of temporary enjoyment material.
    They are obviously not boyfriend materia at all.
    He is saying as if you are over reacting, but it's just an act for his own benefit. He knows what he is doing and how you feel. He understands everything. However, he is not on your side because he values his own sexually thrilling enjoyment than you or your relationship, and This shows that he is a womanizer.
    Get out of that terrible relationship.

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  • I think, first thing you should do is make him realize how bothered you are by this.
    Then, make him block her or at least ask her to stop messaging him.
    If he doesn't do that then you should re-consider your relationship cause I really don't see a reason why he would hide that he is with you from her.

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