Money - a definite no-no. I have my own job and I make my own money and on top of that I am working towards getting a fantastic degree which will land me my dream career. I want to be the one who wines and dines the girl and spoils her. I don't want to date someone to be better off financially. While I agree that a relationship should be equal between the guy and girl, a part of me still respects the traditional role that the man should take care of his woman and give her financial security.
Boredom - no. My life is extremely busy and I don't usually have any free time on my hands anymore. I don't usually have time to feel bored. Either I'm at uni studying (that takes up almost 75% of my time nowadays), or working, or helping out at church, or getting involved in some activity to do with my hobbies (such as dance classes, art classes etc) and I always manage to fill every time gap I have. If I do have any spare time I usually end up relaxing at home because I'm so tired frm everything else I have been doing, or just go out with friends to parties or just to dinner or any other social gathering.
Loneliness - now this may be the only reason out of the 4 you have listed that I may consider dating someone for. But at the same time, just because I am lonely it does not mean I will date just anyone. I still have to be attracted to the girl and have that chemistry there for things to work. I mean, even with my busy life I am still lonely right now when it comes to dating and I know there are girl friends of mine that are in the same position but I am not going to date them because we are not attracted to each other and we don't have that spark. I mean yeah, it would be great to have a girl by my side but the fact that you are lonely because you have nobody to date shows that you re not happy with your life in general which also means you are insecure when you are alone. I don't think it's good to date just because you're lonely because you may become clingy and rely on the person you are dating to bring you all the happiness you crave. This is where loneliness and boredom overlap. If you are bored you should do things with your life that make you happy and give your life some fulfillment. I do other things to keep me occupied and I actually enjoy them and they make me happy which is why I am not so focused on my loneliness so much anymore. Plus, with all these things I do in my spare time, I have met some really nice girls who may turn into potential dates in the near future.
Pity - only if I was genuinely attracted to the person. I would love to be the guy that makes the girl feel special and love herself again. But at the same time, I wouldn't want this to lead to the girl being clingy just because I gave her that special attention that she needed. This may lead to me having to be responsible for most of the relationship and puttingin most of the effort to make it work when really we should being doing that together.
Hope I helped.
I think each of those areas have certain exceptions..
Pity -> If you ARE attracted to them, but you pity their low-self esteem.. Yeah I could see it happening (to date them).. But in the end this is gonna leave a HUGE burden on the relationship. That's why a lot of people prefer to avoid dating someone out of "pity"
Boredom -> Most people don't get in relationships for boredom.. I would say that people who are bored will do other things with their time: Sex, work, partying, etc.. I haven't seen people date out of boredom so I can't really speak from experience - I can merely say that I wouldn't date someone for this reason.
Loneliness -> I would think this is the most common of any of the reasons above.. But still it comes down to context.. Sometimes people are lonely merely because they ended a previous relationship.. Leaving them wanting that affection (emotional need) and as such they have to fulfill it.. In turn they end up trying things out with someone new. Other than that, it's nice having someone stand by your side.. But you WOULD need to be attracted to that person otherwise it just isn't going to work out for long.
Money -> I'd love to see who votes for this one.. It's been an ongoing debate that women are money-hungry but I don't really see why.. Most my classmates are female and most the guys I know are alcoholic bums.. The ones who are better than the alcoholic bums are the ones who have chosen a life-partner and are no longer on the "market", so to speak.
~ ArtistBBoy
I voted E, because I don't compromise.
There are or there aren't feelings there...that's that for me.
AND I would never just date someone I didn't know before, so I already have to know his personality, his opinions, beliefs and stands. So whilst some say that feelings can develop over time, this isn't and has never been the case with me.
On the other hand, many of my friends have boyfriends just to say they have them, and some are desperate to find love /so for them it is mostly C and B/...which I find somewhat demeaning and more than desperate, but it's their life, their choices.
pity -> you will feel even worse when wanting to break things off
boredom -> maybe go a few dates yes. But I'd make it clear that it's just friendly so they don't expect more.
loneliness -> no. Sure I feel lonely at times and wish I had a boyfriend. But this can only be remedied by a guy I really like. The company of someone who I'm not that into will not make me happy.
for money -> I have my own career. So a big fat no.
You never ever want to date some one because of money. sure they may be rich yata yata, but what if they end up treating you really bad? then what? and I don't think its right to date someone out of pity but then again it can boost their self asteem. and if I was lonley I would look for someone to talk to :)
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I don't really see much distinction between boredom and loneliness. If you are lonely you are probably bored also, and if you are bored it is probably because you are alone.
I'm basically debating with myself right now whether to date someone out of boredom and loneliness. The woman I want to date isn't interested and just wants to be friends. This other girl is into me and we have seen a few movies together but I haven't made any move on her. I am kind of attracted to her but not really. She is not bad looking, just not my type. She's one of my friends old girlfriends.
Perhaps as the song says, if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with?
Pity: Date them not likely as it would not really give much of a foundation for a relationship. I did kiss a girl out of pity though (no I didn't tell her that though). To be fair, a first date based on loneliness can sometimes result in her winning me over. Similar premise of would you rather be with someone you love but they don't love you, or someone who loves you but you don't love them.
Boredom: Again dating them is not likely as the relationship would not likely develop and go anywhere. Random hook up can happen this way.
Loneliness: Yes. I will admit that if I feeling particularly lonely and a girl I wasn't really interested in was there at the right time then I could see it happening. Assuming I find her at least mildly attractive, I'm not that difficult to win over.
Money: No. That to me would be a recipe for disaster.
I would have to say B (You are so desperate to find love that you accept even if you have no feelings towards them) because feelings are something that can develop over time, you might not have feelings for the person right away, but you may later upon getting to know them better. As far as being 'desperate for love' goes it's more so 'giving love a chance' because really, how often does love at first sight occur?
No... I would be wasting both of our time... The longer I waste time with him the one he was meant to have is missing OUT on him.. it's a bit selfish to me.. Pity dating isn't a favor it's self serving.. Who am I to take "pity" on someone... Arrogant much? I will step aside and let the one that was meant have him while I go find mine.
this applies to girls more than it does to guys, for obvious reasons. What I mean is that guys are a thousand, million, billion, trillion times more likely to give a girl chance when she is feeling like that. The chances of a girl giving a guy a chance who is in that situation, heck, a guy is more likely to win the lottery than a girl giving him a chance.
I would only date someone who I was attracted too. Its the only way I could date someone infact. I can not even imagine kissing, hugging and especially having sex with someone who I didn't find attractive. It grosses me out that people will actually do that. Not to mention its f***ed up.
yup I totally agree. my boyfriend actually actually got tog with one of his exes out of "pity" though he had zero interest and attraction to her. she just had a lot gg on in her life. like, big deal. needless to say, he had self esteem issues and any girl would do. he tot he could "help" her, she manipulated him, came onto him for sex and he allowed (Ew) and many others. and look what happened? she found another man and dumped him. pity leads to nowhere. its not even a relationship
No Way girl! Thing is in the end, you strangely enough will feel resentful torwards this person cause you'll have felt somewhat manipulated into being with them. Don't do it cause in the end, everyone just gets hurt and you've wasted a part of your life that could be filled with a real honest relationship. Don't sell your self short, cause you will get what you want. Plus its not Kind, or loving. What goes around comes around, and you yourself know you woul'dnt want to be where that person is now with someone contemplating what you are now. Just be patient, and fill your life with friends and Laughter. Its always the best medicine for loneliness.
You can do it ;)
Pity - Nope, I follow the methodology of Mr. T; I only pity fools. Someone I date will need to have the inteligence to hold a conversation, so fools are out of the question.
Boredom - We've all done weirder things when we've been bored. For example; spending an hour trying to fold a single piece of paper in half, 8 consecutive times.
lonlieness - That's fairly obvious, if you're lonely you want to be with someone.
Money - Well, I " ain't nothing but a goldigga' "
Pity: I don't think so.
Boredom: possibly.. Life has been a bit boring lately, so who knows!
Loneliness: yes. But I would have to be attracted to them. I don't know how people date someone who they aren't even attracted to..
Money: no. there's more to life than money, and if the relationship breaks up, well you'd be left feeling real poor. I mean, it would be a plus if a girl was rich, but that wouldn't be my primary deciding factory whether or not I date the girl.
* FACTOR not factory. #damnyouautocorrect :P
I normally would put E in this situation, but the problem is, I actually have dated sumone because I felt terrible for wanting to rejecting them. She had a lot going on and she needed me, so I was there for her, whatever she wanted me to be.
i sometimes find it hard to say no to people ..mostly guys ...i may not find them particularly attractive but I really just feel bad when I say no ...so most times I will be like OK even though I don't like them ... I do think that they figure it out cause of the way I respond and thus they back off. I try my best not to be put in such a situation. most times when I see that the conversation is going that way ...i will make excuses to leave .
None.
pity, no because I would just say no, maybe another time as friends.
if you say yes go out with someone for one of those answers, that will lead them on and the realtionship will not last long.
Kind of disturbing how 15% of women figure if they like you you can use them for sex/money/past time etc... more girls than guys chose this option, dang
its better not to use people to bide time that's just not cool. You can do that with a car or maybe even a piece of clothing but human beings have emotions and it only confuses people further...
No to pity because that's not fair on the girl. It's cheesy but their is someone for everyone and she would be better off with someone who doesn't feel sorry for her in any way.
I would and have gone on a date because I was bored and lonely and I would date for money too as long as it was clear it was a date she was paying for and not any other services!
Never. That would totally use him, and cause me hassle later when I have to break up with him. Break up is inevitable if you don't have any attraction to the person.
no I would never leave with such a person for just money...i can't make my life a disgust...life is the most priceless gift god has given us...we shouldn't be spoiling it
no its unfair to both people involved ! I would pro make friends with them or try to help them depending on whether I could or nt :)
pity- no.
boredem- another no. lol
loneliness- I'd rather be lonely than with someone I didn't like
money- no.
i've dated someone for money before.
it was one of the worst thing I've ever done,
and I'm never doing it again :/
Nope! That's just mean on you're partner. I only date someone if we both share the same feelings for each other =)
I must be attracted to something about her to consider dating her
If I'm not attracted to them in any way, then I'll let them know I just want to stay friends.
No. It'd be too awkward for me, and him. I would only date someone I like.
no... I don't date unless I have some amount of attraction for the guy.
I have dated a woman because I didn't want to be alone. It was a rebound relationship and turned out to be a bad relationship. Of course it didn't last long.
Heck yeah. My most recent ex was out of boredom and pity. He kept harassing me and then posted on fb about how he didn't think anyone could ever love him after I rejected him twice. The third time I cracked and said yes to him.
cool
I've never used a guy before. I just can't. I can't be with someone unless I truly LIKE them. And I don't know how other people do it.
Pity: No
Boredom: Maybe.
Loneliness: Probably not.
Money: It would have to be a pretty substantial amount because it's almost the same as Pity.
yes I would. it's about compromising. not that many people are in a relationship where it's 50/50 love
I would choose both C and D. That must make me a horrible person.
Pity: No.
Boredom: No.
Lonliness: Maybe.
Money: Yes.
Gold digger are you?
hahahaha
no my girlfriend keeps trying to buy me sh*t and I keep telling her not too
i'd marry for money because men don't understand or respect love...as they do money !
i would never date anyone for pity cause then I won't be happy. for money? I'm not a gold digger! loneliness or boredom nahhh I will I rather wait with patience for the right guy
i would. who knows, you might grow to learn to love them
Is this to say you would date ANYONE?
no of course not. I need to feel some type of connection to him. it doesn't have to be fireworks, but it does need to be something
No,NO,No never.
I will never waste my time with any guy unless I've feelings for him.
none of the above. I only date who I want.
I would do it out of Pity.
i'll be just friend to them
No it ain't work hurting someone else
A simple no
no.
no, yes, yes, yes
None.
For everything, no.
no
I don't settle.
nope
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