I have a lot of guy friends and can chat to guys no problem but I won't flirty with them because I'm ugly and there's no point ruining a friendship when there's no way they would like me anyway. But I wondered if guys could overlook ugliness for someone they get on with well?
- Very important
- Somewhat important
- Not important
Most Helpful Guys
Ugly women are pretty much the most unfortunate of the leagues. They have it the worst of any other group. But, game will beat type every time. Cleopatra was said to be ugly. Yet, she is wildly considered one of the most sensual, seductive women in all of history.
That should answer your question. Yes, it can be overlooked, but you have to have other skills to make up for it. You're going to have a higher bar than more attractive women.
Men are also default attracted to 80% of women. Around 80%, 70%-90%. So, while you may think you're ugly, it really depends "how" ugly. Essentially, women are bumped up one league from where they actually are. So, if you're just kinda ugly, you'll actually be considered more like "average" by guys, in general.
Of course, this will vary from guy to guy. And, porn can also significantly skew a man's perception of female beauty, so much so to the point where they don't even find the most semi-perfect models attractive.
But, generally speaking, yes, just like Cleopatra, it's entirely possible for you to find a proper mate. Just learn how to be sensual and seductive, alluring. Embrace your femininity and exude it. And learn from other women who are good at doing so.
No matter what it is, crash and learn, don't crash and burn.
Most Helpful Girls
Guys will say looks aren't important...
They are. I know that sounds callous and blunt, but it's how humans are- looks DO matter (to an extent). I'm sure the same goes for most females.
Looks are just not -everything- when it comes to dating! There are guys out there that value personality, intelligence, and confidence in a woman; it's just finding them.
I'm similar to you: I have several guy friends, and we get along great! But I never bothered flirting or tried to date them because I just don't see myself as that attractive, or figured they would just brush me off. However, the fact you get along so well with guys is a good thing!
If they're comfortable enough chatting and being themselves with you, that shows they like you and your personality- that is a great start! Some of your guy friends might like you and you don't even realize it.
Try subtly flirting with some of your guy friends and see how they react. Nothing major- maybe dressing up, teasing them, something like that.
But as for looks? I doubt you're as ugly as you say you are! You're your own worse judge when it comes to looks.
Where do you live? Have you or do you plan to travel? Culture has a big influence on the standards of beauty. What is considered attractive in one area may not be in another.
I live in Texas; being a woman of color my looks do not fit the standard. But when I visited New York and DC - I fit in and there were many people who thought I was very attractive. Same when I lived overseas. So it just depends on who you're comparing yourself to or what the expectations of beauty are where you live.
Men have always been attracted to my personality more than how I look, which I've always appreciated. To me, that attraction is more meaningful and substantial that someone only drawn to my face or body. Those relationships I've truly cherished.
I don't know if you'll spend the rest of your life alone, but I know that having people appreciate the person you really are instead of what you look like is a real gift.
Good luck, honey.