I'm ugly, no two ways about it. And there's no way to change it or make it better, but I really don't want to be alone forever, so I'm wondering how important are looks to guys really?
I have a lot of guy friends and can chat to guys no problem but I won't flirty with them because I'm ugly and there's no point ruining a friendship when there's no way they would like me anyway. But I wondered if guys could overlook ugliness for someone they get on with well?
Ugly women are pretty much the most unfortunate of the leagues. They have it the worst of any other group. But, game will beat type every time. Cleopatra was said to be ugly. Yet, she is wildly considered one of the most sensual, seductive women in all of history.
That should answer your question. Yes, it can be overlooked, but you have to have other skills to make up for it. You're going to have a higher bar than more attractive women.
Men are also default attracted to 80% of women. Around 80%, 70%-90%. So, while you may think you're ugly, it really depends "how" ugly. Essentially, women are bumped up one league from where they actually are. So, if you're just kinda ugly, you'll actually be considered more like "average" by guys, in general.
Of course, this will vary from guy to guy. And, porn can also significantly skew a man's perception of female beauty, so much so to the point where they don't even find the most semi-perfect models attractive.
But, generally speaking, yes, just like Cleopatra, it's entirely possible for you to find a proper mate. Just learn how to be sensual and seductive, alluring. Embrace your femininity and exude it. And learn from other women who are good at doing so.
No matter what it is, crash and learn, don't crash and burn.
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Some guys can be interested just based on your personality & character, but I'd bet you're better looking than you think you are.
Guys will say looks aren't important...
They are. I know that sounds callous and blunt, but it's how humans are- looks DO matter (to an extent). I'm sure the same goes for most females.
Looks are just not -everything- when it comes to dating! There are guys out there that value personality, intelligence, and confidence in a woman; it's just finding them.
I'm similar to you: I have several guy friends, and we get along great! But I never bothered flirting or tried to date them because I just don't see myself as that attractive, or figured they would just brush me off. However, the fact you get along so well with guys is a good thing!
If they're comfortable enough chatting and being themselves with you, that shows they like you and your personality- that is a great start! Some of your guy friends might like you and you don't even realize it.
Try subtly flirting with some of your guy friends and see how they react. Nothing major- maybe dressing up, teasing them, something like that.
But as for looks? I doubt you're as ugly as you say you are! You're your own worse judge when it comes to looks.
Where do you live? Have you or do you plan to travel? Culture has a big influence on the standards of beauty. What is considered attractive in one area may not be in another.
I live in Texas; being a woman of color my looks do not fit the standard. But when I visited New York and DC - I fit in and there were many people who thought I was very attractive. Same when I lived overseas. So it just depends on who you're comparing yourself to or what the expectations of beauty are where you live.
Men have always been attracted to my personality more than how I look, which I've always appreciated. To me, that attraction is more meaningful and substantial that someone only drawn to my face or body. Those relationships I've truly cherished.
I don't know if you'll spend the rest of your life alone, but I know that having people appreciate the person you really are instead of what you look like is a real gift.
Good luck, honey.
Artificial Intelligence
How important is physical attraction for a man?
In our society, we often place a lot of importance on physical attraction when it comes to relationships. We often believe that if we are not physically attracted to someone, then we are not meant to be with them.
However, is this really true? Is physical attraction the most important factor when it comes to relationships?
When it comes to relationships, physical attraction is often seen as the most important factor.
However, there are other factors that are just as important, if not more important:
Factors such as compatibility, trust, and communication are just some of the things that can make or break a relationship. So, while physical attraction is important, it is not the only thing that matters...
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Looks are very important, that does not mean you should not be trying with your male friends, If you don't flirt with them then they will just assume that you are not interested in them. They are your friends so you want to be low - key about your flirting, then you can judge their responses. Looks are very important to me, but I have talked with girls that I have thought to myself were very hot - And they feel they are ugly! See different guys like different things about girls, You may have several of your male friends already interested in you right now. If they give you the time of day -- They like you more than friends. One girl I know * Who does not dress sexy and is not interested in me and is not a " Hot girl " by my standards " Takes my breath away " every time she gives me a few moments of her attention. I have spent a long time just getting to know her as a friend and she is very important to me - She
doesn't flirt with me and has no Idea how I really feel about her except that she has called me a
" Really good friend. " to her. I want to be so much more to this girl, but I don't tell her. -- I tell you this to give you an Idea of what some of your male friends maybe thinking about you. -- You don't want to hurt any of your friendships and you don't have to, just flirt a little with each guy you talk with - be very suttale with your flirting and only when you are alone with a man - doesn't matter his age or if he has a girlfriend, all guys love it when a girl flirts with them. You won't risk any of your friendships and your male friends will like you even more. -- But for you -- doing this will let you " Test the water " with each guy you know, even if you are not interested in them, you get to practice your flirting skills. The most important thing to remember is how a guy treats you -- Never accept bad treatment!Some guys, myself included are a bit stiff. We don't really care about looks. Nobody that passes us by are instantly attractive to us, because we don't know them.
A guy like that would go into a relationship with you if you two think alike, understand each other and have mutual interests.
Fair warning though, this guy can never make you feel pretty or hot. Because that's something he doesn't do to anyone, period. He's not into that game. Some ways into the relationship, he probably will consider you cute though because he loves you but ultimately, looks is still not a factor for him.
You could find a guy like that but then you have to resolve the problem for yourself about feeling ugly. Do what you have to do, start considering it a worthless currency and a bad weakness needing to feel hot in front of others. Look for other things to take pride in.
Just don't bring these feelings into a relationship.
If that remains a big deal to you, you'll probably ruin it eventually. That would be all because of your insecurity, jealousy and bitterness, nothing about your looks.
Fair warning, because a relationship doesn't magically change all aspects of your life like that. You still have to deal with yourself.Quite important, but so is personality. It really comes down to the person as a whole, and although looks might form an initial connection, it is personality that nurtures the connection.
For instance, I know a lass who is considered by many to be conventionally attractive. However, her personality is absolute ass because she is very conceited and has no consideration for other people.
Despite her physical appearance, her personality has shaped my opinion and cognition of her differently, causing me to view her as monstrous and artificial.
Conversely, a close friend of mine would be considered by many to be average and unremarkable in looks. She is a very charming, kind, and supportive person, however. This, combined with the bond I have formed with her, causes me to view her as perfect to me, conventions be damned.
Another close friend has an unfortunate amount of acne, but he's hilarious, a smooth-talker, and unbelievably reliable. I love both of these people dearly, so they are the standard of beauty to me.Physical attraction is the premier criteria for choosing a mate for all seeing people, no exceptions.
Fortunately, it's not the only criteria. If you have guy friends, then you can have a romantic relationship. A lot more guys are saying, "I want my girlfriend to be my best friend," than ever before. You'll obviously have to work on your attitude a bit. No more "there's no point in trying..." hooey. Can't score if you don't shoot. Build up your confidence in other areas. Interestingly, confidence in your appearance is likely to improve. There's research to support that. Know your worth, and don't let people take advantage. Some guys might think you're desperate because of your looks, and sometimes desperation makes people lower their own value. Don't do that. Finding love is just trial and error, really. It's a matter of being approachable and approaching others and trying things out until you find the other half of your puzzle. It's time consuming and frustrating. Sometimes it hurts, a lot. But if having a special partner in life is important, there's nothing more satisfying than finding someone special. Good luck!It completely depends on the person. Personality is a factor, looks are a factor, economic status, emotional availability, and even where you live / what you do can be a factor. I really think it depends on the person. With this being said, Looks are not everything. Sure, humans generally find people who are attractive in "looks" to be initially attractive, but it isn't everything, and people who are shallow / only look for physical appearances can treat you wrongly. If you truly think you are that ugly, there are things that can be done no matter what you look like, trust me. If you are overweight, there is exercise. If you are underweight, there is exercise and eating healthy for either or. If you have bad acne, there are face routines. Honestly, if you are feeling bad about yourself, realize there is someone for you no matter who you are. As cliche as this may seem, it is true. If you want to become more attractive, do it for yourself. NOT someone else. The best way to do that is by eating right, excising (even just a little everyday), drinking plenty of water, basic hygiene, and a good mindset knowing there is someone for you, because looks aren't everything. Hope this helps :D
Hmmm, depends on what the person considers ugly. Like do you have tentacles for a face or something? Do you look like Predator?
Really if it's like acne or maybe a crooked nose or just your forehead is bigger or something, then those are things that can be overlooked I'm sure. Also, there are guys out there that desire someone with a good personality and then the looks improve because of that. If you were smelly all the time, that's a different issue, but there's always someone and usually more than one person out there for most. Who knows, maybe the guys you're friends with, maybe one of them actually is attracted to you as well, just based on your friendship and how close you guys are perhaps.I’d like to know what you think is ugly - just to put it in perspective. I understand if you didn’t want to post but can you thjbk if anyone you think you look like?
I also think everyone is lovable to someone and looks fade soul remains. Some people make a point of overlooking personality a point of overlooking looks but I do know whoever you are when you make a connection they will all in love with your eyes. People fall for the soul the rest is lust and it fades. Not to be trite but in a way there’s a benefit to not having looks to cover up who you are. You know sonene is with you for you. Plus take care of yourself be kind and healthy and put your energy into the word.”— you will attract people.. not shallow ieoooe bjt solid people. attraction is something beyond looks.I put very important, but milage may vary, because attractiveness is dependent on the culture and personal preferences. Yes, there is some things we can agree on like a symmetrical face and other things..
But in general, I'm going to go for someone I'm attracted to. I'm not looking for a model, but I have to be attracted to her physically in some way at least, especially initial. I'm not looking for a skinny knockout model, if that's what you're wondering.
Yes, personality matters too of course.Well how "ugly" are we talking? Their is a good chance its behavior that's keeping you single not looks (just for context I use to work in a hospital and saw a man being wheeled out of the obygyn section of the hospital, he started talking about this being his second baby and then I realized it was a woman. If that woman managed to get some one then you should have no problem). If your overweight you can diet, it could be how you dress which again can be fixed. If you act and behave like one of the guys then your basically just friendzoning yourself. If you don't want to post a picture or what have you (understandable) you can ask a trusted guy friend about how you look what he would suggest you do to be more attractive and to get a guy (also for what its worth my first relationship was around 25 as well).
If it is someone you get on well with it is entirely possible to look past it. Probability is low though. Body conditioning, how well you take care of yourself (fitness) and smell (perfume for females) are also a part of attractiveness in addition to a traditionally pretty face. If you don't try and take care of yourself in the ways you are able to when you aren't as competitive as others you decrease your chances more. If one of your guy friends asks you to hang out one on one, just remember, he may be intending to test the waters. So don't pass it up, or if you can't at the time, remember to bring it up again later.
I've seen some very unattractive and terribly out of shape people pair up and marry. There is a lot more to it than looks.
It would be key to feel positive about yourself, improve what you can, and accentuate whatever is positive. Important to have a positive self image, as that projects to others. Makeup does wonders, so does the gym, and x10 positive attitude and healthy lifestyle and spirit. Unattractive can look beautiful when you have positive energy about life.
In the end, I must be attracted (familiarity, fits what I like personality wise, physically, life style, etc..).Looks are fairly important. I would recommend hitting the gym: for 1, to improve your confidence, and 2, to make you look more appealing. Whether or not you have s great face, having a good or average body can improve it, or at least improve your confidence, which is attractive in it's own right.
I'm in a similar situation as you. I'm 21 and I've never even been on a date. I'm 6'1" and lean, with a little muscle now, but I don't got a great face, or hair. I would I've got a slightly below average look, but I still think I might find someone some day.Who brainwashed you into thinking you're ugly? Why do you keep reiterating that you're ugly? You are probably not the best judge of this, and I think you may have let other people determine how you feel about yourself, which is terrible.
Unless you have some actual physical defect or deformity which requires plastic surgery, I doubt that you are ugly. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. If you stop thinking of yourself as ugly, if you start thinking of yourself as beautiful, your attitude will change, your behavior will change, you will smile more, other people will see you as beautiful. Right now it sounds like your sense of self-worth is in the basement! THAT's what needs to change!I think looks are the most important for men and for females we are more interested in the emotional side of things. Is he trustworthy and he don't cheat? Does he treat is good? Stuff like that. With men, they can date you and even get serious with a less than perfect looking girl. But, they will never be 100 percent all in write it in the sky kind of love with anyone that they don't think is their version of perfection. It's all to sad that men mislead less than perfect girls. Just for pleasure or to waste time. If she is not perfect to you in every way. Pass her up and don't waste her time and energy by fucking her. There are many girls you can have that you actually do want forever. Ok, hope that helps!
Looks are static in that they aren't easily changed. Personality is much more maliable.
I would seriously date any woman with a personality that complimented her appearance. I have stopped dates, as far as the bed, with pretty women who offended my limits regarding opinions I hold dear.. Good looking women aren't used to being rejected.
What's worse is being the "back door lover". You get along great. You have great sex. But they dump you quick. Or won't introduce you to friends as anything but a friend, and won't act like your lover in public.
You R not ugly. You R exactly as you were meant to be. I don't have ANY male friends that are that superficial.(My choice)
Take care of yourself (.. selves). And put your best foot forward. If you enjoy tasting your boogers;. Don't admitted that right off!
Peasepersonality in my opinion is far more attractive than looks, if you meet someone who society says is beautiful, and while you might get on with them... their underlying personality could make it impossible over time to ensure they are compatible or viable for long term interaction...
where as if you focus on personality, and purely on such then your expectations of them will only be about how they act... their attraction becomes more realistic as their personality makes them beautiful...
and suddenly you overlook what society has influenced you about looks and physical beauty and appreciate them for their overall and actual beauty...
which is why i am attracted to personality, sure nice eyes do go along way... but i find beauty in their personality, and what society considers as flaws are merely a story yet to be told, but make each person uniqueSomewhat for me. The two women I fell for most were not the best-looking I dated on first impression. The best-looking I dated on first impression was a swimsuit model and aerial acrobat. I liked the second a lot but first was kind of "meh" after a while (though she was sweet and fun-loving, not your model stereotype, but we didn't have that much in common).
It's somewhat binary (though not exactly), in my case. If a girl is attractive then she can become the most attractive girl in the world or become completely uninteresting over the course of spending time together. if she isn't remotely attractive to me then there's probably no room for any change.Ugly is in the eye of the beholder. Look, I've seen girls who are not anyone's idea of a supermodel who had made themselves attractive by spending a ton of time in the gym and working on their presentation. That's actually how older women get with young guys, because young guys don't sit around dreaming about fucking fat, 45 yo soccer moms. But a hot, hard-assed woman who spends 15 hours a week in the gym getting a body who also dresses will have her pick. So whatever happens, you have the power to improve your odds and your power in the dating market.
ATTENTION: a well thought answer.
Looks are important. But calling oneself ugly actually puts a gravestone on any good relationships or dating because if you get a man while thinking you're ugly, you are automatically turning him into a piece of shit. If you are shit then he may not be anything other but shit, right?
Let it be the last time when you called yourself ugly. Or otherwise you will fail no matter what.
Men can fall for your openness, sexuality, agility, honesty, for your tenderness, for feminine qualities. Do what you can to look and feel more feminine.
Get rid of your ugliness inside yourself first.Maybe you're not giving yourself enough credit. You're just used to your own features that's all. Even of you don't fit your definition of beauty, someone somewhere finds you attractive. Sometimes I think I'm ugly then other times I like how I look. In high school I thought I was ugly as hell because I heard people say it, especially other girls but it was just that I focused on the negative so much that there were a bunch of people that found me attractive and I didn't realize until later. You probably look bomb dot com, you just have to tell yourself daily.
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