Personal Experience: In short, yes it is not the best. When I was in a real first relationship that lasted around 2 years her room had clothes piled up to the brim on her bed, laundry basket, and floors. And i saw comments in here that spoke about hygiene as well, and there was food, open sodas, as well as fallen makeup on her desk. This came to my head as a pass as I cared for her and our relationship but my honest opinion in my head had silently screamed at me that it was a red flag. If she were to have ownership of a house or an apartment then it made me understand that although messy is fine, THIS messy was an issue and seemed to pose a mental illness. Yes she did have high levels of anxiety. Another issue was the bathroom, not only was there makeup products that looked like it was a hoarding amount in her bathroom, but her tooth paste bottle had been sprawled out with dried tooth paste all over the edges and not only that he tooth brush was also surrounded with dry toothpaste all around it. Yes, this is clearly a hygienic issue as well and I for one thought it was a serious issue to the point that i actually took it upon myself to clean it all up with my bare hands. So if you are not this messy then it is fine, a few clothes thrown about here and there is really not a big deal at all. But from what I explained, I 100% do believe it is an issue.
Yes. A girl I dated we had met in town for the first few dates. Then she said do you want to come back to my place for a meal. We got there, your picture is good compared to her place. Old takeaway boxes pizza boxes. The carpet looked like it had been vacced for months , I said in fun have you been burguled , no I'm just not into house work. I just stood there feeling like some thing was going to attack me. I said what had you planned I will get a take away. I said let's eat out. That was the first and only time I went there, we always stayed at mine...
Oh my gosh, yes! Unclean house or apartment: instant turnoff
How someone lives gives you an idea of what type of person they are and how clean they are. Unless they have a good reason, I probably would not keep seeing them. I don't expect their place to be spotless, but at least keep their stuff in order, washed clothes and dishes, and no bad smells coming from their garbage.
I don't really care longs if they is still a clean part to sit down on i couldn't care.
My room is messy but that's because i have a lot of things and eat a lot of junkfood, and stuff that i end up not cleaning cause effort. But you can still walk to my sofa and bed and sit/lay on them so it don't matter that the rest is messy.
There is also a differance between messy or dirty. My room is messy not dirty. Dirty would be like having moldy food still in there or moldy windows, lot's of dust on shelves and stuff like that, where as messy is just stuff like clothes and pizza boxes and dvds just laying around.
And i say messy is fine, dirty is not good. And people who have super clean not messy at all rooms, where it looks perfect i find those people to be someone i won't like, or get along with since i am lazy and chill so therefore i like people who are lazy and laidback and chill. And people who clean there room like that cannot be lazy and laidback to put that much effort in it.
But since im a woman and he's a man, of course i won't leave him for that.
Its more a man who would leave a girl for that..
A little mess is good for a guy (pile of clothes, dishes in the sink ect) because if it was super organized and spot clean i would call him a woman.
Yeah.. Thats a female's trait.
If a female friend of mine had a really bad messy apt, i would look into her.. If she is just struggling big time with life (death of someone or other hard stuff) i will help her and not judge.. But if its an autonomy problem (dont confuse this with laziness) Then i might stop going to her place amd might stop talking to her.
Nah loll if its just messy then whatever. Hoarding is a different story. And leaving groceries open and food on the counter is ANNOYING so if anyone does that imma have a issue. My grandad does it and I am not gonna be married to someone who constantly does that bc it leaves nasty roaches and its just disgusting PERIOD. No... But messy as in some clothes over here and papers over there isn't an issue. Nasty plates of food left on the bed and desk is gross. So it depends on what kinda messy it is and if they are willing to clean up their own mess
Well. I wouldn't transform into his mom, and tell him to clean his room. He would probably be pissed if I said something, I really wouldn't care until he actually moved in with me, and brought that mess with him to my place. Then I would be annoyed lol
I like to keep My place clean AND organized bjt CLEAN trumps order.
Thdur place is their place I won’t judge. But there’s a point where I will be concerned they won’t keep up with personal grooming.. If their place is messy but CLEAN, I’m good
If it looks clean but smells feels dirty, I’d be turned off, WELL.
I had a roommate who liked things to LOOK clean bjt dgdbt care if it was a breeding ground for TB
there's a big difference between mess & filth. Mess is progress so be daring all u clean freak critics. Dont waste ur lives wiping the dust off ur fridge motors or getting ur doormats dry-cleaned. Do sumthing productive, go make sum mess & feel good about it
It would bother me quite a bit. I like to be organized. Even y refrigerator is organized. Each thing has its proper place and when not in use I like things to be put back where they belong. I'd be concerned because if we eventually lived together I'd want things to stay organized.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
What bothers me is if they don't think there's anything wrong with it. I can understand a small bit of clutter once in a while but when you bring someone back to your place you should at least have some pride. There are times where my apartment gets a bit messy (in my eyes) but I refuse to have guest over without tidying up first. It's straight up embarrassing.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
My boyfriend is very Messy and when he showed me his appartement I don’t know why but it turned me on. I removed my dress and I jumped on him, and we made love in his entire apartments even in the kitchen. the best apartment tour I ever had, lol. It was so hot to grape the sheets of his messy bed while we were fucking like wild animals. Or to see the objects on his living room table shaking while he was banging me there. Seriously!
As messy as in the picture is a big turn off. I'm very organized and fond of cleanliness myself. But it won't be an instant dealbreaker unless that's how their room always looks.
Yeah it kind of would be. I always like to clean. Shit even for fun because a clean home is a comfy home. I mean I don’t mind if they are a little messy but not so trashed where there’s shit, food, bugs, and rancid. I’d say HEEEEELLLL NOOOO XD
I don't know really, both the serious relationships I've been in have been with messy girls. Their messiness never really affected the relationship. I'm messy myself (my room is very small and I have too much shit) so I can't judge them too much.
I don't care if its a bit disorganised, I understand people are busy and don't always have time to tidy up or the space to but everything away but if it was always like that and it was unclean and dirty it be a massive turn off
Messy is fine, dirty is less fine. I don't mind a clean laundry pile on a chair because you're too lazy to fold it, but I do mind a bad smell or dirty underwear laying around.
Yes but it also depends on why it’s messy. Like if it’s messy because he’s too busy with school, work, depressed, etc then it’s not really a turn off. If we plan on living together some day then we need to keep our place clean.
Messy no, dirty yes.. therr is a difference between not being organized and washing your sheets once a year. I am not very organized but I try to keep the stuff I misplace clean.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I'd sooner a girl living in a clean trailer then a trashed house. One has misfortune but is still hygienic and trying to make the most of a bad situation, the other lives in a house and lives like a hog and needs to sort her shit out. But if a man's house is a mess he needs a woman who is clean and if his house is clean and doesn't have a woman he is not going to put up with some messy woman else she'll be on the street
Not if she wants to stay that way. Then I can find another date. Personal hygiene and generally it's what we all need. We cannot, obviously, sit on the floor eating our meal while it's dirty as fuck.
That is a clean room according to my brothers. I don't go to there place that often because of that kind of thinking, so I doubt I'd do it for someone else.
Yes, even if I'm just going over to a friend's house. You don't need a 20 person cleaning staff but the whole pig lifestyle isn't cute.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Yes for me it is, I don’t even have to see her apartment, just seeing her car alone is. I know not all women are like this but a lot of women I know have trashy cars as far as clothes, shoes, food wrappers.
Oh brother. If her place looked so messy that's going to set off some major flares..
That's not likely, though. I think there's a strong chance that if she did live like this, she wouldn't be the kind of outgoing person I'd be interested in.
I really don't care. I'm not dating piles of garbage, I'm dating the person. I've cleaned out some real shit holes before for work, can't imagine any room would take longer than 2 hours to clean.
Messy is fine, that's actually a common trait for geniuses too. But if it's dirty and unhygienic that's a problem. My room is messy but that's just tons of books lying around everywhere.
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