My friend has had two relationships in which her ex's turned out to be gay and some people make it seem like it's her fault or that she "turns men gay."
If it's happened to you, have you ever questioned in your mind if their coming out had something to do with you or did you just figure, they may have realized it or known all long regardless if you were in the picture? Were you in your mind more or less hurt by the revelation?
Have you ever had an ex turn out to be gay/lesbian?
Have you ever had an ex turn out to be gay/lesbian?
Wouldn't you think a more rational explanation be your friend originally getting drawn to men who already had some propensity to gay relationships, but chose to be with a woman to placate the expectations of the society?
I think this explanation is outside both other possibilities, the first of which is your friend turning a man gay who would otherwise be heterosexual. I think the implausibility of this case is self-evident. If her boyfriends were straight men, they would simply leave her, not turn gay as a reaction to whatever her perceived shortcomings are. I think the second case of those particular men somehow knowing their gay inclinations, but getting picked up by your friend somewhat randomly is also not probable. Two relationships in a row that ended with the same outcome are also statistically not likely at all.
I think, for various reasons, some women pick men who are somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum. Those women could be feeling closer to men who don't display stereotypical traits of macho behavior, who are more attuned to exploring their feelings, etc. I think the opposite case is also quite possible, i. e. a man picking a woman who is lying in the middle of the gender spectrum, without displaying strong feminine traits.
I know a number of relationships in my social circle who fall under these categories. I'm sure you and the other readers can also find further examples from your lives.
I do believe that the repetition of a certain outcome in relationships points to a likely pattern, which happens to have your friend at the center of it. After all, she is the only constant in both relationships where men are presumably factors independent of each other.
Never happen to me but I have seen it happen. Yet from what I see it more so women who go gay for whatever reason.
Never men. Now I will say that there were a few guys in high school who dated chicks to cover their true identity. I personally feel most people can spot these types and is rarely shocked by any natures.
You can't turn men gay lol tell your friend she did nothing wrong. But some women seem so desperate for love no matter will somehow venture on that road because I don't know? to prove some dumb point I guess. And it will not blacklist them. It extremely double standards.
I personally to stay true to myself. I love men and always will. If I felt I could not be with a man again I would become Catholic and a Nun -_-
Yes one of the first guys that I dated. I was 16 and he was 19. My mum really liked him and offered to take me to the doctors so I could get the pill. 😳 I was no where near ready for that. I rejected his advances a few times and then he dumped me, turns out that he wanted to use me to see if he liked girls. I found out three years later on my last day of working in a pharmacy. A work colleague was showing me pictures of her dads 60th birthday and I came across a picture of him. He was her boyfriends brother who'd she'd spoken about before in regards to being gay. I was really shocked.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
No. But I once watched a series with a guy who I thought was definitely gay... Until he introduced me to his entire family as his girlfriend. Including cousins and shit. And I was dragged out to a family dinner just around the corner. I had no idea what was happening, we weren't dating besides hanging out to platonically watch series. I stopped hanging out with him after that.
Year later he came out as gay after all, another year later he came out as trans and now identifies as a straight girl. At least my gaydar was not completely off?
Yeah, I had one girlfriend that had a girlfriend after me. Turned-out that it was a one-time affair and her next partner was again male... Dunno, did not phase me in anyway... I once was also the 'try our' boyfriend of a girl that not yet knew that she was a closeted lesbian. Our relation did not go anywhere physical and I assumed that she needed simply more time... Turned out that she just needed to understand that she was into girls and not into men :-) There I was a bit younger and felt in a certain way 'betrayed'...
I think there are two types of gays/lesbians; the type who were born with it and the type who are so repulsed by the opposite sex due to trauma that they turn to the same sex for affection because it's that or nothing. It's unclear to me what percentage of gays/lesbians fall into which category, and it's become such a social taboo to suggest that it's anything but genetic (despite no evidence of a "gay gene") that we probably can't know for certain. Unless your friend is so shitty that she makes guys traumatized into being "gay" then I don't think it's her fault that they're gay, however it is her fault that she keeps dating gay guys. She needs to re-examine what she wants from a relationship, or at least state upfront in the relationship "my last two boyfriends turned out to be gay, so...".
I dated a woman in my mid-twenties who, at some point after we split up, became a lesbian. She is actually married to another woman and they have an adopted daughter. I didn't find out until well over 10 years after I knew her. I thought about it a lot, and OK I did see a few signs. She was very attracted to me as a guy, but for some reason she decided on women later. I didn't take it personal at all, when I found out. I WAS totally surprised at first though. LOL..
Yes my children hood sweet heart Connor turned out to be gay. It didn't hurt me in the slightest, we were just children even though we were together for almost 4 years it's not like it was serious and I'm happy for him and his now boyfriend and wish him all the best in life.
I one time hooked up with my ex-girlfriends half-sister who later turned out to be a lesbian. Not just any kind of lesbian, but she cut her hair and decided to look more like a male. She hasn't taken any hormones or anything just short hair and boy clothes.
I had an ex who turned out to be a lesbian. The sex was so good that she was so confused. She wasn't totally sure. So, I advised her to take that step. She did and we are still friends and she asks me for lots of advice still.
Lmao worse, I’ve had an ex turn out straight when she had always proudly proclaimed to be les while I was seeing her
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
No. That never happened to me, but some just try to find love with the same sex out of a bad experience with their last opposite sex S. O. i heard a girl once saying "that's why I date girls"
I think that's mostly true but there's some evidence that some people (especially women) become gay after they give up with their preferred sex. It kind of doesn't make sense to me but I remember reading some psychologists opinion about this. I can see how it may make sense.
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