How much does the past matter? Would you NOT date someone because of who they have been with in the past?

Question

would you NOT date someone because of who they have been with in the past?

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

The past always matters. That should be the very important thing to think about before even thinking about taking a romantic interest in anyone before you become upset, unhappy, confused, disappointed, and other positive negative feelings. While you cannot change the past, it is indicative of the future and present behaviors as our past often influence our behaviors until we start changing from them.

I personally wouldn't date a person until seeing and knowing who they are as people, friends, etc. I have to know who I am taking interest in before you end up in a fantasy and can't handle reality. People have standards and morals. For those of us who do. And the last thing I want or need is a guy who dating or had sex, bad enough he had premarital sex if anything, with a person who wasn't good. If he has done things sexually I wouldn't agree with him, he is telling me who he IS.

And like a virgin that is definitely a BIG no-no. Who a person dated can also tell you what their lifestyle and behaviors like in the past, both good and bad. While you often want to focus on the good, you also need to see what kind of people they dated. Were they good people, or bad people? Were they in the right form of mind? Are they easily influenced? Was the person doing drugs? Struggled with drugs, other substance abuses? We're they watching pornography? Did the other try doing things that make you question if they will do it to you? EVEN IF you say you don't care about premarital sex, as long as it's fill-in-the-blink.

You still need to know the family background of the person you dating, the taste in the kind and type of person they liked, etc. Abuse history, the whole thing. WHY? Because especially sexually, they pick up other habits as WELL. And it becomes a part of them. Also, some don't even seek help for these things BEFORE they even think about another relationship nor time off for themselves.

For me, if I see that the guy I think I might want to take interest in hangs around certain types of people I don't like or even dated people I wouldn't like. No way. Because now he expects you to either be the same or tolerate what was done. It says a lot about them especially if they haven't changed from it. Most people say the past doesn't matter. But it really does when it comes to relationships, maybe even friendships. If you continue to imitate and emulate those "past" behaviors, then it's not past, it's present. Sometimes once it can be a mistake regarding a person. But a PATTERN? Then often times it's not mistakes, it's deliberately. Especially sexually. You must decide what kind of future you want and try not to make choices that may impact the kind of person you want to attract.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

It matters. If they been fckin with hookers, pornstars, or prostitutes, hell nawl. If they been fckin within the family like they are on some Alabama shit, hell nawl. If they been fckin round with married people that they knew were married at the time, hell nawl. If they got more than one child, hell nawl. If they catch STds a lot and brush it off like its nothing because “they’re easily cured”, hell nawl. If they cheated on their partners on multiple occasions, hell nawl! If they had more than a handful of sexual partners, especially in a shortass time, hell nawl! If they dated my friend, it depends for how long and how deep their relationship was. Otherwise, hell nawl! I wouldn't date people with super promiscuous pasts.

t-8900 · Accepted Answer

it matters to me. Context, context, context, I say this so many times. I would not date a professional pornstar or prostitute or someone who was either of those things in the past as an example. Now when we talk about because of WHO someone dated, YES. If they were with someone who was a predator enabler and said nothing and ignored the situation, or a gang member and was okay with it, or a jail bird, or someone with STDs, as examples, hell naw. That filth spreads to everything it touches. I have never dated a friend's ex in the past but would after maybe 3-4 months after a break up and it was talked about first (bro code).

Wester1967 · Accepted Answer

It's a great idea NOT to be with a woman who was in an abusive relationship. 1. She picked bad. Red flag. Poor decision maker. Probably poor parenting. 2. She'll be trauma bonded or imprinted to her bad boy. So she'll be acting out like her bad boy does. She'll be stuck on guys who treat her bad. She's romanticize masochism. If she gets with a nice guy who loves and cares for her, she'll think he's weak and full of *it. She'll treat him like crap, just like her bad boy treated her. Sorry not sorry

Miristheiss · Answer

It mattered a lot.
When I was choosing a wife, someone I was going to give my full heart to and commit to share my life with... I wasn't going to marry someone who slept around, went clubbing and got drunk and screwed a bunch of random dudes, someone whose done threesomes... has any sex work past... was a stripper, ever did porn... has videos of her naked, doing stuff floating around out there forever... so yeah... there are deal breaker things that a "past" could have had.

A wife, a life partner couldn't have had this kind of stuff in her character. I wouldn't have married her if she had swam in these waters.

JBlade · Answer

The majority on this platform are gonna say it doesn't matter, mostly cause people here get around anyway so they can't judge. I personally don't understand how the past couldn't matter if you're making an educated decision on who you're choosing to dedicate time and energy towards for the foreseeable future.

I'd care more about what they've done sexually than who they've been with. I don't have a sexual history, regardless I still expect transparency from both of us. And yes, if I deemed something inappropriate I wouldn't date them.

Finchie40 · Answer

It depends , if they have a bad reputation of just sleeping around with different people then that would be a turn off knowing they really don’t have morals and would be hard to trust someone like that , Most people lie about their past and sugarcoat how many people they slept with and fooled around with to sucker someone new in , So it mainly comes down to how that person treats you and proves to you that they only want to be with you , Usually the truth will come out later in the relationship and it leaves you standing there looking like a fool that wow you were played this whole time , so it comes down to whether you want to continue seeing that person or end it with them

Ailito · Answer

Yes it matters, but only if I know of it.

Like, I'm a picky eater. But only if I know what I'm eating. If I'm blind folded and given a meal that tastes amazing, idgaf about what it is. Just lemme eat and don't tell me what it is.

Same thing about dating.

But id prefer never to date anyone that has even so much as had interest in any of my family line.

And if I'm dating someone and have missed them and later find out they dated someone in my family line... I'ma straight up hurt them for not telling me before we kissed.

NetSapien · Answer

There would be times I wouldn't date someone because of their past.

Twice now I've dated some girl with an absolute tool for an ex. One of the dudes tried to sink my boat and the other tried to slash the tires on my bike. Both I caught and the boat one the cops were called on me.

Both girls I kicked out of my life for bringing that drama to my home

tatianamay · Answer

The past does matter. Especially if the trauma was pretty recent. They would need time to recover, and concentrate on themselves. On the other hand, if it was a couple of years ago, and if they are doing better now, then sure. I would NOT date an ex-fuckboy. I would also not date someone who dated a friend of mine in the past.

LikeALog · Answer

Unless I've seen them with the other person (including photos) or they made the news with the other person, it's unlikely I would know their past. I don't believe gossip. I've been a victim of malicious gossip. I would base everything on how they act now.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

It’s the past I’m not overly worried.

as long at the now present person is someone I like then it’s okay.

i likely have a chequered past for some.

I’ve dated those with what society would say was not a great past.

it’s the here and now that counts

shaysh87 · Answer

you need to be very careful about someone's past. because often someone's track record can be a indicator of what is going to happen in the future.

Anonymous · Answer

The past is the past, when who you’re with you couldn’t picture them any differently. Because you can see who a person is from who they are right now. Not who they were ten years ago doing their best they could at that particular time in their life. All those things in the past would of sculpted the person you’ve either gotten to know or love right in front of you. Who they are and where they are now and how they treat and make you feel is what matters.

tina_111 · Answer

Past doesn't define a person, people change with time they grow and learn from experiences and it's important to make mistakes and take wrong decisions as it pushes you towards growth speaking of relationship at tge younger age mostly we don't know what kind of partner we want and we end up making wrong choices and we learn from them and realise eventually what kind of partner do we want

MJtheCoach · Answer

I had this discussion with lotta guys small percentage of guys like me care a lot most guys are just happy to have anybody or sleep with anything.

If a girl had too many sex partners it’s a major turn on.

And usually means her pu##sy is busted too.

PAcc92 · Answer

Whorish behavior matters. It matters to all men, if they say it doesn't it's because they are a low value man.

I'm not about to walk around bumping into the men who used her as a cum bucket, fuck that noise.

AnthonyJ01 · Answer

A person's past tells you what they are like. Mybex managed to hide everything, even from our church. Once she cheated on me, she stopped going because she felt they judged her. I later found out that she cheated on almost everyone with who she cheated on me with.

NathanDavis · Answer

the past matters, yes... but to me, it's more relevant how they were and acted towards their previous partners... it's just another factor of a few, for all things considered

ChiPaPa · Answer

It matters to me. If they were dumb enough to have a child with a deadbeat that already had two other children from two different mothers, then i would never be with them. This is but one example. There are others.

HighValue · Answer

Yep. Someone's past could prevent me from ever being interested in her.

Flower7 · Answer

B and C. Just in general, I wouldn’t want to date a guy who previously dated someone that I know…whether it was a friend or enemy.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Yeah, if they have a bad past that's recent or they dated my friend, then I likely would not date them

EssenceOfLight · Answer

It matters because it says a lot about the person you're dating. However I wouldn't reject to date someone because of their past, I would just focus on STD protection and lower my expectations in mater of possible relationship.

DCooper · Answer

Well if she's 'been with' every dude in the neighborhood, there isn't much need to take her out on a date first, lol !

Agape93 · Answer

Who they date, who they fuck or how many is not my concern. Long as they're good people, clean and respect my boundaries and rules, I'm good

AviatorTom · Answer

What they've done in the past is much more important than who they dated.

Dvchill · Answer

Who u were before me. I don’t know that person and it doesn’t matter: as long as those pasts stay in the past.. u got like herpes that shit ain’t in the past💁‍♂️

AydenHazor · Answer

It shouldn't matter. If they dated a friend of mine and the friend want ok with it I wouldn't dare them so as not to offend the friend, but otherwise, who cares who they've dated previously?

Relux47 · Answer

I can give a rat’s ass about her past as long as her and I live in the present cause I’m her only future

Unicorn_lover_2002 · Answer

Its not about who they've been with its about how many they've been with

msc545 · Answer

It really does not matter to me, but some guys think a high body count is predictive of future cheating, and empirically this does not hold true, but they persist in believing it.

Kabluie · Answer

Does not matter, people have different compatibilities.

exitseven · Answer

I would give them the benefit of the doubt. It is only a date.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

I don’t like the ones that won’t date you because you dated their friend. I’ve missed out on a few hot chicks because of such.

jasco · Answer

The past makes the present and the present makes the future. So if i see a change than i may date her maybe

2021biguy · Answer

Someone's history can show what kind of person they are, so it does matter.

FireFox001 · Answer

It matters a lot to me. Due to my position, I need to have a partner who is on the up&up - and cannot be blackmailed or anything.

chriscdi · Answer

sometimes it's important to know how their choice in men is, it can say a lot about someone

lovedejj_xo · Answer

I’ve never told my whole past to anyone my past is a past for a reason unless it’s relevant.

cookiecrusher · Answer

Looking at someones history is a good way of predicting their future.

Joshua0213 · Answer

As long as she wasn't out there fcking everyone then not at all haha

Anonymous · Answer

It's worst if it's anyone I know, but ideally it wouldn't be anyone at all.

kenan1001 · Answer

Can online dating and love be a happy family life forever

JackpotThree7s · Answer

Yea because it really does matter, Hooking up is different though.

Daniel93 · Answer

Shouldn't matter at all whose dated who if you like someone go for it... You only live once

melanieeeB · Answer

i wouldn't date someone who dated a friend of mine

In_Trance · Answer

it matters as much as you think it matters

crazy8000 · Answer

It depends on a lot of different variables.

Twalli · Answer

The past is the past for a reason

Anonymous · Answer

Quite a whole helluva lot as it turns out.

lycanthrope3 · Answer

Past is past, should not matter

CandaceSims201 · Answer

Deponds

dudeinohio · Answer

Doesn't bother me

LegendaryIcon · Answer

it always matters

clemdenim · Answer

Should not matter

How much does the past matter? Would you NOT date someone because of who they have been with in the past?

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How much does the past matter? Would you NOT date someone because of who they have been with in the past?

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