Is jealousy a deal breaker?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Jealousy in and of itself is not a deal breaker. If the jealous person is constantly like, "Who are you texting?" "Where are you going". Then that would be a deal breaker. Then it takes a normal question that is asked out of curiosity into a question that is perceived to be intruding on someones privacy. If a girl is constantly asking me these questions then I feel suffocated when it comes to talking to her about anything because I'd fear that she would take it the wrong way and start accusing me of things. And i wouldn't want to be in a relationship like that.

That kind of jealousy can also ruin friendships outside of the relationship. The victim would get so accustomed to those accusatory question that a friend could be asking a simple question and they get defensive over nothing.

So, if you're going to be jealous, don't show it. Maybe if you guys are sitting down having a serious conversation and it comes up then maybe admit to you being a little jealous but try to keep as much of your jealousy to yourself.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Depends on what you mean by jealousy. If it's unreasonable, then yes, deal breaker. The question is whether it was reasonable to feel jelous in any particular case. What's the case?

Afrenchgirl · Accepted Answer

Jealousy is good sometimes, because it makes you feel important to your boyfriend / girlfriend. Everyone appreciate some jealousy at a certain level. But when jealousy is everyday, for any single detail and that your partner is doubting about you, it is a huge deal breaker. It shows that your partner doesn’t trust you. Trust is absolutely important in a relationship. And then, you also suffocate by possessiveness. You cannot go where you want, when you want, you cannot wear what you want, etc. And you end into fights with your lover. At this very moment you know it is a deal breaker and you should not accept that. If your boyfriend is too jealous, have a talk. Reassure him that you love him and that you don’t care about other men. If you are jealous with him, then ask yourself what makes you having doubts about him. And let go your insecurities.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Always a dealbreaker. If one cannot be honest about their insecurities to you, it can come of as controlling, obsessive and possessive behavior. Jealousy is NEVER okay. And that fact people even finds this endearing is disturbing. One can love without being jealous. Jealousy, when its on purpose are signs of deeper issues. But if you try to make your partner jealous, your evil. I would rather not enrage another person, and I don't want that person to do that to me. I don't get jealous, I get sad and disappointed and feel I am not enough.

lumos · Answer

I'd say in general, yes. Jealousy usually stems from insecurity and trust issues. I can handle a bit of insecurity, however, I will not tolerate trust issues. I will never do anything behind my partner's back that's either super shady or just outright cheating. I'm not that kind of person. I'm very open and honest. If there's an issue in our relationship, I want to talk about it and solve it. Not run away and hop on the first dick I see. I make this very apparent in my relationships, always. Unless I give my partner a reason not to trust me (which I never will), I have no interest in a jealous partner.

You can't sugarcoat jealousy either.
"Oh, I'm just scared of losing you",
"It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust other people",
"I have bad experiences with people cheating on me in the past" etc.
It's all bullshit. If my partner is scared of losing me, he should talk to me about it and explain why he feels that way. If my partner fully trusts me, it doesn't matter if there are 10 dudes in a line who are all trying to hit on me - he should KNOW that I will reject every single one of them, so literally, where is the problem? And whoever might have hurt him in the past is not me. He should not be pinning his past baggage on me, when I have done nothing to deserve it.

Jealousy is not cute. It's not a way to show love and affection. It's not a way of being protective of your partner. It's ugly, rotten, and what ultimately can kill a perfectly good relationship. It's when you let your insecurities and trust issues get the best of you. My tolerance for jealousy is very low. I see it as a personal attack on my character. I'm not the type of person who's just going to stand by and think it's cute when my partner very obviously doesn't trust me. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, and if he proves to me that he doesn't trust me, then I'm not interested in putting any more time into being with him.

Chris00987 · Answer

Depends on what type of jealousy.
I had a woman that didn't get jealous about other women.
She was literally jealous of me. She didn't like that I had a good life.
She didn't want me to be happy.
She wanted to drag me down.
That kind of jealousy is a deal breaker for me.

love_ly412 · Answer

No, as long as it's not excessive like saying you can't hang out with this person bc they're jealous and can't trust you. Otherwise, I think it's flattering in a way - like you're scared to lose me? Does that make sense?

Melshmallow046 · Answer

There's a mild, healthy jealousy that means you care about a person enough that you don't want them to be with someone else. Then there's a possessive, unhealthy jealous that stems from insecurity in a relationship. The first is fine and the second is a sign to break up.

debi2622 · Answer

I can put up with very minor jealousy. But anything consistent and irrational is a deal breaker. I've never cheated, never thought about it. And the last thing I need or want is someone accusing me (verbally or mentally) of cheating.

smalls95 · Answer

For me, yes. I’ve seen jealousy consume too many relationships. If I’m with someone that doesn’t trust me and has to control the relationship so that his jealousy doesn’t get out of hand, I’m out of there.

AuroraRoseat · Answer

It can be. I don't do well with insecure men. I understand being jealous about somethings--I have no issue with talking it out with them. There are times though that people are jealous over irrational circumstances in my opinion.

Miristheiss · Answer

No, not really. At least unless she is over the top jealous. I'd say my fiancé has just about the right amount of jealousy. She doesn't try and stop me from doing the things I like but she would call foul if I decided to go to a strip club.

alohaahyes · Answer

Depends on the level of jealousy. A little jealousy can be attractive but I would rather him trust me. I don't want him to think that I'd cheat on him or anything.

Egoless_M0rtal · Answer

Depends on how intense the jealousy is. Some jealous is normal and healthy but if its controlling and obsessive getting into abusive jealousy then yes its a deal breaker

Iron_Man · Answer

If they stay faithful and loyal and do the right things in life there's nothing to be jealous of and the relationship continues on but if they start talking to other men and flirting with them and going to clubs and dancing with other men it's completely over

almondcake · Answer

Yes. In my experience jealousy means the jealous one is a cheat and worries the other will do the same. I mean in life we assume people think that we all think and feel the sames things all though we do not really

BlackRoseFairy · Answer

It depends. Jealousy by itself is not, but if he is insecure, controlling and abusive because of his jealousy then yes. It is.

xLivingLifex · Answer

You’re only jealous because you’ve been hurt in the past. He should definitely understand that. And being insecure is natural

Anonymous · Answer

It is normal to be little bit jealous, if they wasn’t I would wonder if they even cared. Not jealous in everyday life, I mean if there is real reason for them to be jealous, like if they see someone hitting on you, or you did something (which I wouldn’t do, very faithful and loyal). It would be a dealbreaker if it was the paranoid, controlling, possesive kind of jealousy.

fueledbythc · Answer

100% a deal breaker. i pride myself on being faithful and loyal so i dont put up with jealousy even at its slightest. i dont even like jealousy towards anything and make it a point to call it out.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel most people in love would feel some certain degree of jealous or insecure. As long as they are mature human beings and can communicate effectively , I don't see it as a deal breaker.

gorman24 · Answer

A little jealousy isn't so bad, but it becomes a deal breaker when the jealousy turns into a possessive behavior.

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

Nope not for me it's how you handle yourself after you get jealous that's gonna be the deal breaker for me.

MariaJaneW · Answer

No, I don’t think it is. However, if it got really extreme to the point where there’s no trust, then yes it kinda should be. I consider myself a jealous person but I trust my boyfriend completely to do the right thing if a girl ever hits on him.

BengalTigress · Answer

Not for me. A man getting jealous shows he cares. But it shouldn’t be overblown.

Rangers · Answer

No, if she's not jealous at all, that's a massive red flag. Some jealousy is good and shows that they care about you, it's only a problem when they always assume the worst when you're talking to other people.

Tam0320 · Answer

Yes, the problem with jealousy is that it growths over time and it can be unstoppable at certain point.

ShortCircuit · Answer

Not at all. I find it cute. Plus, if she is the jealous type, she is more likely to be understanding and accommodating when I, myself, get jealous.

DeviloftheValleys · Answer

definitely. As a polyamorous guy, a jealous partner would be hell on earth.

LuvAsh · Answer

Nope. Its a deal breaker if he becomes abusive tho.

Massageman · Answer

A little bit of jealousy seems flattering. Now, if they start shooting people, that's another story.

Historylover18 · Answer

I don't mind a little bit of jealousy because that usually means they care, but too much can be a deal breaker

Anonymous · Answer

If it’s controlling, yes! If it’s just a little, no, I’d be worried if he weren’t.

Tina84 · Answer

Depends how far cause if she doesn’t trust me we don’t need to be together.

themomo84 · Answer

Yes because it leads to imposition and isolation. No no

bulletbob555 · Answer

As long as its minor. Too much or unreasonable would definitely be a breaker

sugarchateau · Answer

Yes. Can't save them from choices they want to make for themselves. I wouldn't waste my time.

serious · Answer

Are you referring to jealousy or a person trying to make someone jealous?

isweatergawd · Answer

Its annoying as hell and unneeded. Also a toxic trait

standardguy · Answer

Depends how the jealousy manifests. If it has also positive parts like intensive care by her it can be okay. But if she beats the man even though there was no reason to be jealous it is a pest.

TrustOfWorthington · Answer

Yes quite... but only if it is just really unnecessary like with long term best friends who are actually lesbian and guys in general just because I (for example) am bisexual.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it is because I want my partner to trust me just as I trust them

alc24 · Answer

Depends on how extreme it gets

faithie_Artist · Answer

I think it depends on how deep the jealousy is.

TonyBologna25 · Answer

Only if it turns into controlling behavior

BButterfly · Answer

Yes it is when it gets out of control

WalmartFlipFlop · Answer

Only overbearing jealousy

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on how pushy they are with it. A little bit of jealousy isn't bad

Calming_fire · Answer

Yes, it can turn into civil war.

LuWe22 · Answer

Yes. He has no reason to be jealous.

nailz660 · Answer

I think it’s a deal breaker if you ask me

GuidoThePizzaMaker · Answer

I love a jealous lady <3

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I dont have time for that shit

hkndmrx · Answer

I think it depends on how deep the jealousy is

GraveDoll · Answer

yes and more yes.

Secret6620 · Answer

No it is not. 🖤🤓

Secretgardenblood · Answer

@Iron_Man  What do you think

r1ngzz · Answer

Yeaaaaa

brandito1st · Answer

Controlling jealousy is

JuanFrank7 · Answer

In my case, it is

houseofmince · Answer

Yes.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Yes it is.

chriscdi · Answer

nope

FragileSnowflake · Answer

Nope

Is jealousy a deal breaker?

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