Can you fall in love through texting?

[Sweetascandy1990]

I'm just curious because most people don't want to talk on the phone and I hear stories where people fall in love through texting

I'm really confused about how the dating process should go 😅 Then again, I'm kinda inexperienced. I thought it took a serious of dates (face to face) and throughout time you fall in love if their is romantic chemistry.

Any feedback would be appreciated 😊

[Missoctober13]

I think you can fall in love with the idea of the person you are texting but to actually be in love with someone I believe you have to actually spend sometime with them it is the only way you can truly know who that person really is. Huamn contact is very important how else will you know if you are in love let alone know if the two of you are actually compatible together

[ImSparkly]

Yes, it is possible to have deep, profound discussions with new people while texting. But it does hit a point where you have to move it up a level to talking, either in person or on the phone.

[okeydoke]

Absolutely not. You need to get to know someone in real life to fall in love. Hell, you should spend time together to even see if you have chemistry.
Plus love actually takes time. A lot of time.

[Sweetascandy1990]

That's what I thought. I'm a codependent and afraid to be abandoned due to abusive relationships. I get skeptical and I like to take things slow. I had a lot of texting chemistry before and then when I met the person face to face there was no chemistry, so I agree love takes time. Thanks for answering 😊

[bklynbadboy1]

Of course you can if you make a connection anything is possible

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thanks for answering 🙂

[coachTanthony]

Absolutely not! That would be like cave men falling in love with stick figures on cave walls!

[Girther10]

Great analogy!

[Girther10]

That’s exactly what I said, you may have said it better 🤷🏼‍♂️

[dogbert444]

@Girther10 Sorry, you are totally wrong. Stick figures have no soul, cannot talk, cannot convey their true personality.

I have loved a girl I met here on GAG more than two years ago. We communicated in the first place just by PM's here. As we got to know each other, we fell in love. I love her to this day.

[coachTanthony]

@dogbert444 Have you met her in real life?

[Girther10]

@dogbutt444- you are the rare exception to the rule, assuming what you say is even true, and I highly reject that it is.

[Girther10]

The stick man analogy and the pilot analogy are totally relevant and good no matter what you say.

[Girther10]

@doggbutt444-

[dogbert444]

She lives in Indonesia. No chance of meeting, but with voice calling, and video calling on a large PC screen, it is like we are in the same room.

The big problem for most guys is that they are usually looking for sex. That is the one thing you can't get from a screen. It you are not looking for sex for some time, then it is perfectly possible to fall in love without meeting.
Consider also, two blind people. They will never see each other, but there is no reason why they cannot communicate and fall in love.

Face to face meeting is just a bonus.

[coachTanthony]

@dogbert444 The question is can you fall in love through texting. The asker didn't say video calling. That is a different question all together.

[GraveDoll]

Cavemen and stick figures😂😂😂

[GraveDoll]

and people can NOT love without ever having physical contact. Nothing will ever be able to beat face to face and well warm blood is always need to really... live and keep really vows.

It just the ideas people get lost in. So many ideas and oh more ideas.

[loveslongnails]

@GraveDoll Exactly... as the song goes " ... was it love, or was the IDEA of being in love..."
It's just a fantasy - it's not the real thing, but HE thinks it is and maybe she does too.

[Girther10]

@dogbutt- My response was to you’re telling me I am absolutely wrong about the analogies how I am saying is the analogies are good and you’re wrong about things that I’m wrong I’m not saying it is impossible to park in love like you had as I said it is a rare exception if you believe you are in love my beef with you is telling me I’m wrong when I’m not

[laralamy]

@coachTanthony, the problem with your analogy is that there is no one behind the stick figure on the cave wall.

When you're texting someone, you're communicating with a real person. There's someone on the other side who listens to you and gives you feedback, someone real with real feelings and their own traits, values and personality.

Some people fall in love with celebrities on TV with whom they never even spoke, for example.
Isn't it at all possible for you to, given enough time of course, fall in love with someone through only text messages?

[coachTanthony]

@laralamy No you can’t fall in love over text... the stick figure analogy was made to show how ludicrous the idea really is! Stick figures or text are both a ridiculous notion. So agree to disagree!

[laralamy]

That's it? Someone who has a different opinion presents some valid counter arguments to your point of view and your immediate reaction is "ludicrous", "ridiculous" and "agree to disagree"?
@coachTanthony you, Sir, are a very poor conversationalist.

[coachTanthony]

@laralamy thank you and thanks for the comments!

[Girther10]

@ laralamy - his analogy aren’t perfect, but no analogy is. It effectively represents a point of view which really means he is a very good at public discourse and I too will agree to disagree that’s right I said it

[Girther10]

You are projection at its finest

[dogbert444]

Yes, it is possible just by texting. The way this GAGer texted me gave away her amazing personality, that her interests matched mine. Everything fitted together. I am one if these guys that cares more about personality than looks. Hell, I am looking for a life partner, not a catwalk model.

As it turned out, when I first saw her photo, I was gobsmacked at how beautiful she is. At the end of the day, that is just a big bonus. As I got to know her more, it only served to confirm my original thoughts that this girl is a keeper!

[OlderAndWiser]

Texting can't lead to love in the way that most people would define "love."

[EmbraceThePain]

Well, it depends. If you’re texting someone that you’ve never seen before, then you can conjure up grandiose ideas of what this person looks like and create an idea of what it’s like to actually be with this person in-person, just from what they text you. Texting is a whole different thing from in-person interactions, because you cannot get the subtle changes of facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, etc. from texting that you can from interacting or talking to someone through a screen. Someone can sound really impressive and good via text, but not be the same way when in-person. I’m sure it’s certainly possible to fall in love through texting, but it’s not clear to me what the causes of this are. Like I said above, you can be creating an unrealistic idea or image of this person, which causes you to fall in love with your mental construct, rather than the actual person. Now, texting someone that you’ve actually seen and met in-person can enhance the feelings you have for that person. Texting in this context can create sexual tension and a whole other positive feelings that can increase your attraction towards someone to the point of falling in love. In this case, texting acts as a supplementary device to already seeing the person and interacting with them in-person several times.

[Screenwriter]

I love to quote a study I read a few years ago about how much information you receive through the written word shared between two people. The study said 7%. So 93% is dispensed through talking in person and being with someone in person. I hope you've seen the show Catfish, at least once or twice, to know how many people are tricked by online, text only relationships. A written relationship tells you little about how a person sounds or expresses themself in person. Texts and emails take time to compose and are snippets of conversation. When you're with someone and you want to get to know them and there are yawning gaps in conversation, even the telephone can give you more insight into conversational style and aptitude. This helps you determine if you're a match for someone. Also, your time spent with someone helps you determine how comfortable that person is with one on one interaction. You learn particulars about someone: do they have decent personal hygiene, clothes, a job, do they drink or smoke too much. Someone said you can fall in love with the IDEA of a person. But in person you are faced with the barriers to a connection. Obvious ones may cancel that text based "love" toute suite.

[kennyw87]

We can save just about all this,

[Anonymous]

It’s defi an idea of them and not actually them. I was so close to a guy for three years seeing him daily, we were literally best friends and would have been in a relationship if it wasn’t complicated. But then after two years of distance of going outlet separate ways after university, wed still talk via text and video chat but not as much. Then when I saw him in person he’d changed from the person I used to know, so even though I knew him well enough to interpret his messages over those two years, I was wrong because he’s changed.
Now if that can happen with someone you’ve known, imagine how much more difficult it is to truly know someone you’ve never met through texts alone. Everything they say you interpret in your own way, not theirs. And most of the time, it’s not what’s said, it’s the ‘way’ it’s said. That’s completely lost in texting. I’m convinced it’s just an idea of them you have. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t fall in love with that idea. It just means you risk a higher chance of being disappointed in person. But on the flip side it could also work out to. So if you’re a gambler, why not I guess. Just don’t be naive.

[Opinion Owner]

Excuse the typos, it’s late here and I’m half asleep in bed.

[Daniela1982]

A texting personality, a phone personality, and a real life face to face personality are all different. You can put up a pretty good front on the phone and even more so with texting. A real life meeting will tell you more than all the texting and phone calls put together will. So no, what you love is their possibly fake media persona. I don't think you can ever fall in love without at least looking into their eyes and having that first kiss.

Wink wink

[Girther10]

@dsnirla- you nailed it as usual. Don’t expect any gratitude from this asker, she only wants certain answers. She lied about want any advice

[Girther10]

@daniela

[Sweetascandy1990]

@girther10 lol it's a lot of answers. I didn't expect this amount. I've read them all and I appreciate everyone who answered. Everyone got a thumbs up 😉❤️

[Girther10]

Ok thank you for thanking everyone. 🤙🏻

[Sweetascandy1990]

No problem 😊

[Anonymous]

I don't think it would work for me. I need actual in person human interaction. Not just chatting online, video chatting, texting, talking on the phone, etc. There's a lot about a person that you can't really experience any other way except for in person. It seems like you can detect their "vibe" much more easily this way. There's just something missing from other forms of communication.

I also personally don't get this new age thing of not wanting to talk on the phone. I only like to use texts for short messages or quick questions, I do not want to have a long, drawn out conversation over text. I don't understand what people hate so much about phone conversations, anyway. I find it much more enjoyable to get to hear the other person's voice than to read a wall of text from them.

[Girther10]

It’s possible but unlikely.
This is the sad consequence of today’s use of personal technology. The very idea that the asker is confused bc she knows the answer in her heart, but is unsure bc she’s told it happens regularly. @asker- consider the source when you hear these things. Look toward older more experienced adults for this kind of advice. They remember what life was like pre technology. Technology is good in the macro view of progress, but so far technology has yet to create progress with interpersonal relationships. Being in the presence of other human beings cannot be replaced by tech.

[laralamy]

I, personally, think you can definitely fall in love with someone through texts, given enough time and consistency for those feelings to spark and develope. But you'll never develope any kind of meaningful romantic relationship that way.

A romantic relationship needs intimacy to form and consolidate. And by intimacy I don't just mean sex. Holding hands, kissing, staring into each other's eyes, feeling each other's skin, embracing and feeling the warmth of each other, a spontaneous smile, uncontrollable laughter. All those small intimate moments are what put the romance in a romantic relationship.
That's why, for example, long-distance relationships rarely work.

So, yes. You can fall in love with someone over text messages, but it will never materialize into a meaningful relationship without both being physically together.

[Arlyss]

You can love someone, even if you only learn about them through text convos. The issue is the reality of the person may not match the expectations built by the conversation.
If you think you are falling for someone online and you feel safe to meet them (in a public place, with friends nearby or some other safety precautions) then you can learn more about their mannerisms in person starting from a place where they are not entirely a stanger to you.
The heart is fickle and the imagination is powerful. Text is much more thought out and that can be fantastic and it can be misleading.

[cavmanier]

Pen pals that have never met or seen each other have fallen in love from letters and then married.

Plus, it's happened to Trump. #InterracialRelationship #LoveKnowsNoColor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV6mVmAVQU4

[arabgoddess]

Oh no.. you can know someone through text and know someone face to face.. But the two are different! People say more through text, that put feelings in you. Being with them in person is a completely different story and realising the difference may put you off. Get to know someone face to face better!

[GraveDoll]

Texting is just like internet love.
Moments can always be made when the stage is set right and filters everywhere to make everything look... perfect

that all it is an act in the moment.

I learn that humans love ideas more than real life

People LOVE IDEAS. People hate reality.
it a sad loophole humans stay in.

[VikingBlood86]

It can happen but I'd say it's not super reliable. Sort of a false positive situation. If you're communicating through texts each person is having to essentially reconstruct the other person's meanings and tone in their head. You can get a pretty good idea just from what they say but you're losing the finer details. Unless you meet face to face, there's no real way to tell if you actually love them or if you love the version of them you've built in your mind.

[Kelnius]

Yes. I met my first girlfriend through a chat program, and that relationship lasted 3 years. I loved her very much, and I still care for her a lot.
Whilst I would be worried about how much it would cost to text that much, I don't see any significant difference between using a chat program, and texting.

[koalakola]

It's not really that. I think people who fall in love over text fall in because they think it as an alternative of meeting someone when its not.

Texting is just projection. You can see people complaining, 'she took 7 hrs to reply,' dissecting things which could be nothing. I would say texting is not way to know someone, but rather way to meet someone. Set your meetings on text and that's all purpose of texting in relationship.

[SuperManiac]

From my standpoint, it's like how much "data" did you acquire before falling for something or someone? If it's minimal then I think your chances of disappointment skyrocket, as your imagination might be filling in all sorts of gaps about what that something or someone is like in an inaccurate way. Falling for someone just based on exchanging texts seems like "minimal data" to me.

[SuperManiac]

To me, it's like falling in love with the idea of becoming a pilot just because you watched a film about it only to perhaps discover after riding an airplane, not even piloting it, that you're extremely susceptible to airsickness. So I think it's much wiser, at the very least, whether or not we call things "love", to insist on "more data" before people fall for someone or something.

[Girther10]

@super- another great analogy we both said the same thing but you may have said it better

[TJ_Knight021]

It depends on whether or not both parties are being themselves through and through. There is a big difference between loving someone and loving the idea of someone. That's why while it is quite possible, you are far better off with knowing and communicating with the person face to face

[Jemini_Crocket]

Romantic chemistry doesn't happen in my case until we meet and hang out, spend time together (face to face). That is very important for me. I personally find it a bit strange that some people can fall in love through texting. I'm like "how?". I need the physical contact.

I also find it kinda funny when people are so into dating apps and doing first steps online, but then it comes back to the physical contact.

I guess I'm old fashioned.

[Girther10]

@jemini Crocker- you are thinking old school, at the amazing age of 20

[Girther10]

Kudos to you @ jemini

[catj9999]

I can never fall for someone I've met online. Like at the moment I'm texting someone a lot but I met him at work so I know him and I think we have fairly good chemistry. But tbh I think the best way to get to know someone is through text if you have already met them