Why does dating in 2019 suck so bad?

Question

EyeAmNiceGirl · Accepted Answer

I can tell you why. The internet has caused it.

First, dating sites have given us the impression that there are millions of "hottie-level" people out there just waiting for their chance to meet us (me). We have trouble realizing that other people' online profile is a lot like our own, and they forget to mention even one imperfection. In real life, we quickly notice imperfections of other people, and even the slightest shortcoming will make us impatient and will soon send us looking for that perfect guy/girl whose profile we say last week. I mean, no way that guy's farts stink.

Second, and perhaps more importantly, the internet has moved us from "it takes a while" to "instant." In the old days (before our time, but not that long ago), if we wanted to know what breed of dog it was that we saw running though our back yard, we had to go find a dog book and then page through it until we found a match. Might mean a trip to the library. These days, we google it on the smart phone we carry in our pocket, choose "images," and have an answer in minutes. We order unique stuff from the internet, and it is on our porch the next day; no more waiting until the weekend, then driving to a big city and shopping all day just hoping to find what we want. When it comes to dating, we expect to go from "Hi, my name is Suzie, good to meet you," to "deep romantic connections" in a matter of hours, when it really takes months to develop those sorts of feelings, and we are too impatient to wait for months. . . . besides, there is this hot guy/gal who perfect profile. . . .

Then there is the sex thing. Believe it or not, 50 years ago, "good" girls didn't have sex unless they were married. OK, they probably did, but it was ONLY with the guy they truly thought they were going to get married to one day. First date sex, was unheard of, and a lot of girls wouldn't even kiss on the first date. If a girl had sex on the first date, she really was thought of as trash; and the guys who would go out with her (to get sex on the first date) weren't thought of in the best of light, either. We have cheapened sex. What was once thought of as an exclusive activity shared with that one special person has become routine and meaningless. Except sex is designed to bind us closer with the person we already have a deep emotional connection to.

Mix the above three things together, and well, that's why dating sucks so bad.

SueAnon84 · Accepted Answer

1. Women these days have a lot more competition for a man. Back then, there were only 6 BILLION people in the world/on the planet! Probably even less! Take half of that because they are women so that's 3 billion... maybe! Take another half of that since those are children leaving you with 1.5 billion! Thats still a lot BUT some of those 1.5 Billion live in a different country, are too old for you (a good chunk are probably baby boomers or older!) - so that's 750,000,000 ÷ 2 = 375,000,000 billion! Take out Generation X and Y which are probably already married with children! So divide that by another half? Take out the gays, the ones with mental issues, the ones in jail or who won't or can't provide well for a family, etc. and what do you really have honestly? !

2. Shallowness and instant gratification like I said before on here, run rampant.

3. Growing up in this society? Optional a lot of the times!

4. The morals suck! Sleeping around and having babies before marriage and hooking up is now considered the in thing!

#Single moms.

#Horny single moms!

#Sluts! - Promiscuous people that like to dip it... eeevvvveeeerrrryyywwhhheerrreee!!

The6ix · Accepted Answer

Dating apps to me seems all about an ego booster for girls and a forum where guys can judge and try to have sex with different girls. We live in such an inauthentic day and age, people today support things that are sinful and unjust. We live in a materialistic/superficial world where we care more about the popularity one has rather than the sincerity one has. All comes down to standards. If a woman is going to sit there and say - I want a man who's 6'4, muscular, can make me feel like a princess and this and that.

I'm sorry sweetheart but uh if men or women cannot control their temptations then that dude would most likely cheat. Dating today in 2019 does suck, through a guy's perspective, I don't understand if a girl who comes across a normal, cute or decent looking guy with a great persona says "hey can we go out for coffee" that may last 30-60 mins at most why reject the offer right away? Women are quick to judge as well, we sit here and go by 'first impressions' come on ladies, you're not perfect either, you've fucked up in life just like guys have. That's another thing, we are so damn judgmental with each other.

Again from a guys point of view, I'm not saying a woman can't have preferences, because women will, they are the ones who are courted over 90% of the time, not men. But if we live in an era where women want to live the lifestyle of a man and state she has "lady balls" and she wants to be an aggressive woman with male-type features as a manager or a boss or a CEO of a company. Well then, go out and ask a guy out. Which leads to my last point, many women have this "don't talk to me" look if a guy approaches her in a respectful manner. The annoying, rude guys who approach women, sure, they should be ignored or responded to in that way. But men and guys lack confidence today, not just on rejection but we are also afraid because some guys/men may assume if we approach a girl just by asking her number who's to say she's not bat shit crazy and yells out SEXUAL ASSAULT! A woman or a girl may read this and think "oh whatever we don't act that way!" But truth be told, I have heard stories from men and guys like this before. From a guys point of view, that's why dating sucks in 2019.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’m in a happy relationship, but it has definitely taken a lot of work. I think with that being said, one if the things that is a problem with dating culture in 2019 is this idea that the perfect person will eventually walk into your life, you two will get along great from the beginning, sparks will fly, there will never be any conflict, and you won’t have to put in any effort to make it work. And if ONE of those things doesn’t happen, then that person isn’t for you, you can just dump or ghost them, and continue your search!

The other issue, I believe stems from social media. A new prospect is always only a click away. Women post selfies and get 100 likes. Men post a gym pic and the same happens. Both scenarios show how people who are in relationships still market themselves. People will disagree with me, and that’s fine, but when you post a picture simply to post a picture, you are putting yourself “back on the menu”, which is something MATURE people in COMMITTED relationships DONT DO.

I’ve probably been in the best shape of my life on and off throughout the course of my current relationships, and the idea of posting a gym picture doesn’t even entice me. Why? Because 1.) I’m confident in how I look and 2.) I think it would be blatantly disrespectful to my girlfriend. I’m essentially saying to her “your opinion is nice, but I need the approval of these other women too.”

OlderAndWiser · Answer

So dating sucks for YOU. It is a bit of an overgeneralization to say that it sucks for everyone.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think dating in 2019 is terrible, I just think that people have bigger pools of options to choose from. Before the rise of internet and technology people generally dated people who lived in the same area as them and generally had similar lifestyles. Though their dating pool was smaller, they typically had the same values, goals, and intentions as their potential dates. Now in 2019 we have access to meeting people all over the world. This means that we can interact with people that we never would’ve interact with before. Because the dating pool is so large now and you can meet people from all walks of life, then there’s a high chance you guys will have very different values, goals, and intentions. You’ve got to sort through all those people and find someone who is compatible with you. That’s what dating is. It’s just harder now because there’s more people to sort through. That’s why I only date people that I feel immediately attracted to. I don’t want to waste my time gambling on a romantic relationship with a people who don’t immediately peak my interest. Figure out what your ideal guy is, and only date that type of guy.

FreshOutaIdeas · Answer

As fucked up as the dating scene is for all the reasons other posters have already outlined, I think the biggest problem of all is a lack of masculinity.

Males today (I won't use the term men) are completely disarmed of all masculine virtues that attracts women - the good bad and ugly ones all the same.

Women who lie, cheat and steal don't get off the hook mind, but if we actually had a society of men with any backbones anymore, the bad women wouldn't get away with half the shit they do these days. Equally the more worthy women might actually have men to be attracted to in the first place.

It's just pure degeneracy.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm so confused about so many things dating-wise that I've just forgotten about it for awhile and am focusing on other aspects of my life. If I find someone I'd like to date, great, but if not, I'm not really putting myself out there or looking at the moment. It's kind of an "if it happens, it happens" thing.

As far as the quote in the picture, any man I have to prove that I'm worth being treated with common decency is a no go for me. If I get blatantly ignored, I'm moving on. I do not chase men and I don't play games. The only person I need to prove my worth to is myself. If he can't see it, that's his problem, but I refuse to chase or try to prove myself to anyone who won't even give me the time of day.

NikosBlackwood · Answer

Dating sucks in 2019 because people suck in 2019. We as a society have been lowering our standards of dress, conduct, and yes- dating. People push what the limits of what they can get away with, which is why we have cheating, emotional abuse, and manipulation.
Judging by the fact that you posted this, your dating luck isn't being good to you right now. A tip from me is that you need to go on a few dates with an interest, making sure to read their every move to see if they're actually worth it.

Good luck :)

demonics · Answer

Feminism. You've destroyed your own value so much to the point where we don't have to try and can't be bothered anymore.

there's a million of these chicks in my town and surrounding areas

Why buy the cow when the milk is waiting at your doorstep everyday, figuratively speaking. Its a no brainer for men to take full advantage of this new found freedom women have. So don't expect dude to call you, don't expect to be treated 'like a lady' don't expect anything above and beyond what a man would do for another man because this is what you wanted *Equality*

Feminist of yesteryear gives it to you straight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69rgLvitaYM

TheFlak38 · Answer

another entitled woman having it all before her and still being unhappy. You women have literally the sexual marketplace rigged in your favor and you still complain making up fairy tales. Who wants to prove to whom when it comes to dating? The only time you try to prove something to a man is when you want to invade a male dominated space, scream SEXISM and PATRIARCHY at everyone's face and then compete with men in business to show them what a cute man you are.
No woman EVER needs to prove to a man anything with a call or a text message. It's men who do all the chasing today and it's women who friendzone these men. If you want the 1% of rich men who are at the top of the dating pyramid and you have no chance getting them because all you have to offer in return is a used up vagina and another man's child then that's your problem. If dating sucks in 2019 then that's because of women and their lack of self awareness.

Gillyjollywolly · Answer

Because people get called crazy or too emotional when they show feelings and when they don’t show feelings they’re labeled as uninterested. Honestly, I just bought myself a game boy and all the games from my childhood I never beat and I’m about to focus on beating those games cause if I’m gonna play games, I might as well have them be ones that’ll give me good memories and make me happy!

R_Cakes91 · Answer

Dude, it’s because of all these online dating apps. People are so picky now with just a picture instead of meeting someone in person, they are judging by looks. It sucks because it seems as though dating has all gone online now and there is less genuine interaction.

FriedPickles1218 · Answer

To me it seems like no one makes an effort to meet new people or talk to anyone anymore unless your already in a social group.

I just started school a few weeks ago and let me tell you, everyone seems to just do their own thing. I don't know, it just seems like no one really gives a carp about you unless they have something to gain from you.

So yeah, with the way the world is today, it's definetly not easy. Not just getting a boyfriend or girlfriend either. Just even making friends is hard.

This is just my observation but at the end of the day I remain an optimist. I don't do the online thing either. I don't believe in that anymore and think it's garbage.

I want to meet a real person and have things happen organically from now on I'm done with this 21st century bullsheeeet.
lmao

Anonymous · Answer

Women are hypergamous and only date in the top 10% and women are being told to be sTrOnG INdEpEnDeNt wOmAn and want progressivism yet When it comes to dating they still want traditional ways very hypocritical here are two articles about it

https://archive.is/taXKP

nypost.com/.../?utm_source=reddit.com

Browneye57 · Answer

It has always been a test - the entire purpose of dating. So buck it up little pony.
The more things change the more they stay the same. You wouldn't marry or hop in the sack with ANYONE without some dating time, right? It's your opportunity to discern, to judge their worthiness.

JSmuve · Answer

More like, dating in 2019 feels like trying to "prove" to a woman that you're not a 'creep' because you approached her but she doesn't know you, that you're worth her talking to you long enough to ask her number, that you're worth giving her number to, that you're worth a phone call, or a text reply, or a date, and that you're deserving of being treated like a person who has feelings instead of a disposable stepping stone that she uses to get to a better guy.

Anonymous · Answer

Who would have ever imagined that in 2019 that we are living in the most EQUAL times ever between the sexes and this has caused them to seperate? Makes you think doesn't it.

Differences attract and we destroyed family and love because we wanted to be like men. Feminism didn't liberate me, it took away my femininity.

Anonymous · Answer

It's the instant gratification society we live in now-a-days. If you go back 150 years. People didn't have cars thwy certaunly didn't have the internet. Point is your average person never went 50 miles from where they were born. Which means if you were looking for someone to spend your life with you were relegated to those 50 miles. Life consisted of trying to survive. Not how many likes you got on facebook or IG. Few people are looking for something lasting today. Just something that gives them "starus" regardless of what they claim. People lie, SHOCKER!

constantine15 · Answer

Internet dating has caused a lot of it. It has given women a huge boost in possible partners, thus giving them the option to be MUCH more picky as they get TONS of messages compared to guys.

Women simply look at your picture and stats and decide whether or not you fit her requirements... many of those requirements being petty, such as height.

People aren’t actually meeting and conversing, they are messaging or texting, which can be completely taken the wrong way and misunderstood and it’s cutting out the possibility of real chemistry.

RobertToast1828 · Answer

"2016 was the worst year ever" -- Anybody who complains about not getting a text message back lacks perspective. If somebody doesn't immediately respond to a text, maybe they're busy. If the choose not to respond at all, it hurts, but I'm sure you'd find other people who can help fill the void (of course, relatives are a little different, but I digress). It isn't like the people you're talking about live the worst lives out there. It's like saying people should be terrified of the Alabama anti-abortion laws. Get a grip!

holograph · Answer

To me this comes across as "Dating sucks because men don't act exactly like I expect them to." I'm missing a lot of context so maybe I'm wrong but if there is even a hint of reality in there then that's why dating sucks for the person that wrote that.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Good question... I don't know... maybe because... so many spoiled brats raised without father figures, in a social mess propagated by low quality music and even worse TV programming, without much training and with the absence of social structure induced in the past via religion... now taken over by society's decayed thinking?

or maybe were all worn out?

Syrian_survivor · Answer

I disagree with that dumb feminist quote, but here are my reasons.

Hookup culture growing.
Online dating.
Feminism leading to MGTOW.
The media.
People becoming more shallow.
People becoming more materialistic.
Loss of tradition.
Marriages are dying.
Commitement is barely there anymore.
Sex is so easy to get.
Love is so easy to get.
All relationships can be easily left, disposable.
Date, sex, dump, repeat in the name of "finding yourself".
The dumbening down of society.

foxrider77 · Answer

Well for one everyone in 2019 is glued to their phone like this app. They also get all their news from fB and have zero interaction with society. Hell I can’t tell you how many times kids or young adults have walked into me bc they are too busy playing their clashofclans on their phone.

Anonymous · Answer

"Dating in 2019 feels like trying to “prove” to a man that you’re worth a phone call, text reply, date…etc & I don’t have the energy for it"

Really? Seriously? Are women these days so entitled and self important that they can't even muster up the energy to try to impress a man they are interested in? They expect men to do EVERYTHING? I mean really the ONLY things women have to do in the dating game is sit back and let men approach them, ask them out, buy them dinner and try to impress them. And now you don't even feel like you should even try to impress the guy? Nice.

I think that is the answer to your question right there... women like that are why dating in 2019 sucks so bad.

nerms123 · Answer

I think it’s because social media and the internet encourages really unrealistic expectations. Also the economy has been crap for at least ten years so that’s also an issue. Everyone is anxious and depressed and on drugs etc.

Anonymous · Answer

That's got to be the dumbest quote I've ever read. Are we just supposed to be worth dating because we... what, have a vagina? If you're too damned lazy to do anything, then you're NOT worth dating.

StephenCF · Answer

Because western society has become a hedonistic hook-up culture, not the romantic, chivalrous society it used to be before the 1960s 😒💔

Romance before: “My love for you burns more than a thousand suns! I wish to marry you!”

Romance now: “Hey, slut! You like dick?”

SkipStop · Answer

Because the amount of "Good" women has declined significantly over the last few years. Their standards are unrealistic. They think they are privileged and expect more. No man wants to date girls who bring nothing but trouble into their life. It's one of many reasons I quit searching for a relationship and just gonna stay single forever. If you want the dating world to not suck, you girls will have to do something about the corrupt modern society.

HeavyRoller · Answer

You're right and it's exactly the same for guys. I HATE this. JUST to get past the gatekeeper for a return message is like having to prove you're: Funny, happy, like travel, love dogs, hike mountains, don't play games, blah blah blah. Jesus, just talk to me. You might find out that all of your stupid requirements are really just a wall you've built around your heart. And we wonder why guys just send DPs lol.

winterfox10 · Answer

Somewhere along the lines, people got this hysterical idea in their heads that they don't "owe" other people some basic decency.

I know men pull their fair share of shit too, but if you saw the straight up abuse we put up with from the other members of your sex (romantic or otherwise), you would understand why we want you to prove yourselves.

A-man-22 · Answer

Many people aren't looking for a long term relationship

The responsibility of equality has finally caught up.

You now have to put in equal effort into a relationship he has to prove to you and you have to prove to your date you are worth his time.

You can't just coast because of your gender now.

Anonymous · Answer

When a lot of women have a body count in the triple digits by the age of 19, why would a guy bother dating or investing?

I have to hold back laughter if someone tells me they have a girlfriend, never mind a relationship.

aaronbw · Answer

I'm not sure what you mean OP. Dating has always sucked because no matter what era there are always people only looking for a lay.

Dating sucks for me for many reasons and I'm lucky I got whatever I have had so far.

You dont have to prove anything, only thing I'd say both parties need to do is just be willing to compromise and half the annoying shit will be solved that way.

Unit1 · Answer

I wouldn't really know. But from what i can tell the women are so very obsessed with social media and glued on their phones they actually reject me, who doesn't have any social media. Social media is like their favorite drug.

People were in love before social media. Now they can't be in a relationship without involving social media. 😒

Kezzz · Answer

Singles are not out there in the crowds looking for love. Instead their behind the monitors of their desktops or on the phones using the apps and other websites. This is just making the whole dating scenario a drag

hafinjun · Answer

Smart phones, and in my opinion it's going to get worse, textings replaced actual talking we meet online we get to k ow each other online, maybe even date them online

Therisinghero12 · Answer

I've never been on a date with someone I haven't known beforehand, so my view might be a little skewed. I think it's the way people set up dates though, you meet someone online and you don't really know what kind of person they really are until you meet them, so you meet more people through the internet, but actual compatibility is a lot harder to tell.

MyasiaJ · Answer

Basically I think is because most just do hookups by dating apps or in person or experienced bad relationships enough they don’t have the energy right now or at all to do a serious relationship.

DizzyDesii · Answer

That pic is so right. Like the dudes this year have been more “committed” but dont wanna put in the effort. Theyre words and no action. Fckin indecisive workaholics ass mamas boys. No offense to all out there. Just the 23 I've dealt with thus far 😂

i_am_me_you_see · Answer

Digital communication, there is no learning about the other person as hands on going in blind to figure it out, everyone wants to see your twitter, fb, snapchat, instagram and figure out who you are with out leaving the house or office...

blondfrog · Answer

Because social media has ruined dating and plus parents of these new generation didn't raise their kids right.

sheepdip · Answer

The issue is dating apps.

If your immediate dating pool is 10 people then its easier to appreciate a person. You're being compared to 9 other people.

Expand this to 100 and you're being compared 99 other people.

The average dating app will show you hundreds of people in your local area. You're competing against hundreds of people.

Plus, digitally you can't form relationships as easily, you can't establish intimacy with body language or touch.

Neeceeb7 · Answer

because of the invention of the internet and the tinder culture we now have the hookup mentality. why get married when you can hook up regularly. but I'm not complaining any women interested in dating hit me up lmao

Anonymous · Answer

Feminist has destroyed the male female dynamic with it's false victim narratives and anti-male agenda. Men don't want to deal with the childish bullshit any longer.

Tomsta · Answer

With the internet and apps like tinder dating has become more shallow and more about looks

Massageman · Answer

"Dating" seems to have dissolved into a mess of hook-ups and social media fake "images" rather than a series of constructive, compatibility-finding encounters in different situations.

BeMuse · Answer

A lot of women have a lot of personality problems. So if you want to separate yourself from them, you’re going to have to start putting in work. If you don’t want ot work, no soup for you.

domryda · Answer

It's possible there is an underlying component to the behaviour of your partner's. Some of these conditions cause one to not pay any attention to anyone. ADHD, is a neurological disorder in which the individual who has the condition experiences symptoms of hyperactivity, inattentiveness, disregard for consequences,, that's ADHD, or. If no one you know has that condition, they are just dicks and I wouldn't waste my time on them

MzAsh · Answer

Men qualify to a woman first. If he makes you feel like you have to prove yourself to him first, he’s someone you should avoid.

mattdzz · Answer

Probably because people have so many options, and social pressure to not be in a relationship for fear of missing out.

Anonymous · Answer

because dating is expensive as hell and women have an entitled attitude. Its so expensive now you cannot justify the expense unless she has proven she is "worth it".

Cybernizer · Answer

Our society has become perverted, straying away from how relationships should be. I prefer traditional relationships and would not want someone who is against it.

dropkicknj13 · Answer

Because we've ruined it both intentionally and unintentionally, there are just too many issues to name

beechman2129 · Answer

Everyone is on their phones and not having any in person socializing. They don't want to put forth the effort. That's my take on it, anyway.

genericname85 · Answer

Dating is about proving you're worth it. That was never any different. Just in 2019 people seem to be unable to cope with life...

Giggletr0n · Answer

A rise in often unrealistic standards based mostly on the stubborn idea of a "dream partner" whilst also assuming that the one with issue has no issues.

DashboardLight · Answer

What the fuck is going on with millennials wanting to text all the time? They get an actual phone call, they avoid their phone like it's a dead rat.

People should be actually TALKING more, not texting.

Blackberry98 · Answer

Most of the men only want sex, they "need to be so impressed" to want more from you, but honestly, I think, the don't even want to be impressed, because they like easy sex.

ask67 · Answer

It can be difficult because of all the social media and texting. Ita hard to tell when someone's being genuine sometimes because of the disconnect we experience with just texting

GiveitaShance · Answer

Because the definition of what love is differs now than what it was then.

Kurαȷ · Answer

Women who unironically emphasize with the quote in your post, are what is wrong with modern dating.

Clarke498 · Answer

Guys problems: Girls are either slutty or hard to get. Girl's problems: Guys are immature or insecure or both. Don't ask me, i have no clue.

Why does dating in 2019 suck so bad?

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