Why do guys always unmatch with me almost immidately after our hookup?

[Ishcah23]

You will probably say that he deleted his tinder or whatever or to forget about him. I thought the same the first time I got unmatched after our hookup! Then my next date did it and then the next one after him. It's just like 'wtf?' we had a good time so why does this always have to happen? I'm scared after I meet someone they'll just stop talking to me for no reason which makes no f***ing sense. It's either them unmatching me or Tinder is deleting my matches. What annoys me the most is that they tell me how beautiful and hot I am and how they "can't wait to meet".

So why are guys so full of bull s**t that they think dating is a game? What happened to feeling and emotions? How do you suppress your human feelings when jerks like this do this f***boi s**t? Tbh I don't give two sh**s for these loosers as their the ones that are missing out on me and the other coutless other girls that face this b. s. I just think unmatching is a double sword that 1 can be used to block creeps, weirdos etc 2 can also be used against you. Even when I take the convo over to SC it comes up with 'pending for (f***wit) to accept your friend request after he already added you. So this isn't exclusive to Tinder.

Also you talk to them for ages and get to know them and then they do this. Seriously they are retarded as I'm not always looking for a relationship, all I want is not to have a hookup that only last not even one night. What are they scared of developing feelings? You know who I think the real 'pussies' are? It's MEN well not all MEN just some of ya are f***ing emotionless wanna treat me like a object kind of MEN!
So if some guy out there can tell me why are guys doing this? And when will it stop? That will be good as I'm so close to deleting Tinder. I also think Tinder doesn't want people to connect emotionally which it is completely fucked up as I mean it's a dating app so can't we have something that focuses on emotions rather than just sex? Why does tinder have to be superficial?

Updates

+1 y

I need to reword this question: Why do guys always unmatch with me almost immidately after our meetup?

[yucychan]

Firstly, Tinder isn't really a suitable app if you are trying to find someone to have a meaningful relationship with. Most people use it to find hookups, not relationships. So it's not surprising that after you meet/hook-up with them once, they decided they're not interested in you and they just bail.
I have no doubt that before the meetup, you feel there is some connection, guy seems nice and sincere, which is why you feel there could be something more. Unfortunately, most guys are just pretending to connect with you, say things which you want to hear when all they want is just to get in your pants.
You need to be more wiser and careful when you meet up with anyone from any app. Don't let them bully you into doing anything you are not comfortable with.

[Ishcah23]

Yes you just described it exactly my cycle of talking to someone who I think really likes me. I could talk to them for weeks and think we have a 'real connection' then we meetup and things go from casual convo to not talking (get it). We have a good time and he likes me a lot and then I say goodbye thinking how happy I am then I go and check my Tinder and he's vanished! Yes being more earthly wiser is something I need to focus on as I'm just sick of thinking "next time it will be better" which it's not so now I'm thinking of deleting the stupid misleading app for good and never redownloading it again and just hope I somehow meet someone which could be today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, I don't know

[Screenwriter]

It sounds like you're using it as a sex app and you're angry about it being superficial? I think most guys are using you as a sex toy. Not as relationship material. Why don't you date these people awhile before engaging in hooking up. It might turn out better. Hot and nice are two different compliments. Hot means sex. Nice means relationship possibility.

[nerms123]

Tinder is for NSA hookups. You can try using other sites like ok cupid or plenty of fish instead.

[Ishcah23]

There gonna be no different to Tinder! I'm just sick of dating/hookup apps!

[cavmanier]

I think they have many girls they are sleeping with so they want to move on to the next girl. You can stop it by stopping going for the most attractive guys that have all the girls in line for them. @Optymistyk really nailed it. What happens on tinder is the top 80% of women (all women basically) are having sex with the top 10 to 20% of men. The guys will have sex with almost anything and it's not like they need you because they have a line of women.

[Ishcah23]

It's fucked up when a girl has a long line of guys she's a whore but when a guy has a long line of girls he's a pimp! This society is fucked!

[cavmanier]

The word pimp basically means the guy has skill because not just any guy can sleep with lots of women. Pimp still has a negative meaning though because even women don't tend to like guys that sleep around. They get the recognition BECAUSE of the the skill it takes though. Girls don't need any skill to sleep around. They just need vaginas... So the word slut gets the negative part of the girl sleeping around while being unskilled. She just has a vagina... So society isn't fucked. There are reasons for these feelings.

Another way to see it is few guys have long lines of girls that want to fuck them while all girls have long lines of men that want to fuck them basically. If you think of it that way, you can see why average men admire or what to be "pimps." They want the sex they get. Average women don't admire sluts because any girls can accomplish that.

[Optymistyk]

@cavmanier No my friend women LOVE pimps, the more women he sleeps with the more attractive he'll seem. That's where the allure comes from, because he's got so many women in line not just any woman could sleep with him so it's a challenge to get him in bed. It also means there must be something special about him, it's called "preselection".

[cavmanier]

@Optymistyk Lol that's sad. I think we have to speak in general terms for groups of people on these things. I can see that some girls may find a guy that get lots of girls as impressive and attractive. That's not true for girls I would be interested in though 😂 They'd be like 🤢

Some guys do like slut girls too though but I think mainly because of the easy sex. I'm not sure if we helped her at all? I'm not trying to be rude. Just sharing what happens.

[Optymistyk]

Why do you think women want to fuck rockstars? They have a long line of fangirls they can just pick from for sex. It's because of huge social proof that comes from performing on a stage + huge preselection from all the women trying to get noticed by the rockstar

[Screenwriter]

You have to know this is the way it is. Don't give away your mouth or body on a first date. It can be a dating app, if you use to to have dates, not sex right off the bat...

[Ishcah23]

@Screenwriter Guys never want to go out on actual dates that's not my fault they need to change

[Optymistyk]

@Ishcah23 correction - guys don't want to go out on dates with you

[Screenwriter]

You are accepting the fact that the guys you've met on Tinder won't go out on dates. There are many people on this site who are dating women and men and going out on dates. Maybe these other folk are correct. You need to go to different sites like Match, Bumble and more. Don't accept "no dating". That's a red flag right there. If it's no date, it's no go. If you're young and attractive and interesting, you can get dates. Go for walks in parks. Coffee dates. Hikes. Bike dates. Stop the BJ and sex dates. Maybe you'll spend more times between dates. But you won't be used either.

[cavmanier]

@Screenwriter I agree. Only go out with guys that will take you on dates. Ishcag, it's only going to get more difficult to date as you get older. Right now 20 year old girls have more power in the dating market than anybody.

[BeardMagic]

Hey don't get angry, people use others everyday tinder just speeds up that process. Be more picky and learn from this, try other apps try other environments. I'm sending a hug cause I feel shitty about dating to and everyone can judge on a negative side. They don't know you and I'm sure you have good traits :)

[Ishcah23]

Thanks the one of the only comments that wasn't geared toward calling me a slut.

[Shamalien]

Hey lady!

You fucked on the first date wtf are you expecting? You are a pump n dump because you are willing to be used like a pump n dump. If I had a little less empathy I’d use you like that as well, but for some reason I feel the need to protect other’s from their own stupidity

[Ishcah23]

I only had oral sex. Please don't slut shame me

[Shamalien]

I don’t see anything wrong with slut shaming personally, if it would keep you from making this mistake then why not? Oral sex is not as crazy but still sending a clear message of what ur relationship is.

[Ishcah23]

Well you should and your mother should be ashamed of you. Honestly my intentions were and are pure as all I was trying to find was somone to make my life a bit more happier thinking maybe this time it would be different. So it's not my fault that I'm not meant to have anyone, I try and I cry but it's never enough.

[Shamalien]

Hey hey calm down lady, you are meant to have someone, your just not gunna find that person acting as you are. You can’t be blowing guys on the first date if u wanna find someone who respects u because then ull never know if they actually like u or if they just want ur mouth

[Twalli]

The guys who do that just want sex, and don't care. Hold off on sex for a while after you start meeting face to face and make it clear you don't have sex unless you are with your boyfriend, even if that's bullshit. Then you will mostly get guys seriously interested in you and not how hot it was to fuck you.

[JamesRandiDebates]

Obviously your sex game is weak. If you were better in the sack, guys would at least keep you around for an occasional ball draining. There must be something really bad about you because will keep an ugly or starfish girl around as long as she is DTF. Does your snatch smell really bad? Do you have really annoying habits in the sack?

[Ishcah23]

Who asks that does your snatch smell really bad? Is that what every girl said about your breath? You don't and will never know my sex game hun

[JamesRandiDebates]

A nasty smelling snatch is a big turn off. Don't flatter yourself by thinking I'm even remotely interested in boning sum bitch who can't even get a second hook up from a Tinder guy.

[PatKirby]

So the world gave you a 1,000mg dose of reality and you're angry it didn't hand you any goodies. If you don't want to be perceived as a slut, don't send out those vibes. The one factor throughout it all is You. It all starts with self-respect. Start with that.

[Optymistyk]

Someone got burnt.

Really there are two reasons:
1. You're boring af
2. You're a dead fish in bed

Tinder is still a hookup app not a dating app. Most people on tinder look for casual flings or friends with benefits

[Ishcah23]

Do you copy and paste this? 1 I'm not boring af and 2 I'm not a dead fish mate. It's suppose to be a dating app and I'm not the one that's going to BURN

[Optymistyk]

Well then 3. You're average-to-ugly and he just wanted some easy pussy.

I'm sorry but if you were fun, good in bed and sexy then there's no reason a guy wouldn't want to meet with you again

[Ishcah23]

Optymistyk Why would a guy call me beautiful if I'm indeed ugly? So you can cross out 1,2 and 3

[JamesRandiDebates]

Guys will call even the ugliest, skank beautiful to get in her pants. After he's had his way with you, you're just another notch on the bedpost.

[Optymistyk]

He would if he just wants some easy "fastfood" sex and/or is desperate which many guys on tinder are desperate.

I told you if you were all 3 then you are at least friends with benefits material and the guy would want to see you again. Unless he has better women he could sleep with

[Ishcah23]

I'm none of the three you mentioned Optymistyk. Everything is always good when it comes to sex but it should have nothing to do with sex

[JamesRandiDebates]

Tinder is ONLY about sex. If you want something more, you should try eHarmony

[Ishcah23]

@JamesRandiDebates How is that going to be any different? And who dictates that it's only about sex?

[Optymistyk]

You think I don't know women on tinder. It's so easy to get an excessive ammount of attention on tinder even as an average girl that women let it go to their heads. They feel validated and sexy and so smart and shit, meanwhile most men treat tinder like a fast food or last resort and they just swipe right on every doable girl.

Then comes the second part where the guy has to somehow make an interesting conversation with a person whose only personality trait is that she Has a vagina. So he cracks jokes and tells stories and tries to tease the girl on basically the same things he did with 100 other girls on tinder cuz they're all samey. And he carries the whole conversation on his back meanwhile the girl just goes "hihihi", "yeah", "okay" and thinks she's so interesting.

Then they meet, have a boring ass date, he finally drags her to bed and she's a dead fish that takes no initiative in sex. But she thinks she's a sex goddess cuz guys will tell her she did great and shit and how sexy she is. That's the Tinder experience for you

[Ishcah23]

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo depressing

[JamesRandiDebates]

Sweetheart, if you are looking for more than a one-night stand from internet dtating, you need to find a site other than Tinder. Tinder is for hookups only.

[distressedanonymus]

I'm not going to lie to you guys won't take any girl on tinder fucking on date one as "take home to mom " type.

I'd never wife up a girl that's giving it away to multiple dudes so easily, sorry 😣

Slutty slutty slutty no boy wants a slutty. Don't listen to feminists if you want a good relationship

[Ishcah23]

I'm not listening to feminists because I'm voicing how I feel and I'm not a slutty slutty slutty slut. Why do all of your guys assume? How would you like to walk in my shoes for a day?

[distressedanonymus]

You are a slutty because you're "giving it away" easy. Sorry if this is harsh but you will never find a good man this way.

Seems like you have abandonment issues go to a therapist and fix yourself

[Ishcah23]

I'm not a slut stop calling me that! And I barely give it away at all!

[distressedanonymus]

If you want a guy to take you seriously stop sleeping around that's my advice good luck

[Ishcah23]

I barely at all sleep around I mean it I'm not a slut. You know when you want a treat once in a while should that person be shamed for wanting a treat?

[Truthatanycost]

Once a woman has been with enough guys that treated her badly, often she becomes unable to function around a man that treats her well. I think on some level, the girl in this take realizes the consequences of her behavior.

Chasing temporary pleasure has permanent consequences. I know a woman that is still experiencing these consequences at the age of 50!

[distressedanonymus]

@Truthatanycost yeah I never met a guy who say he'd marry a girl who's fucked guys randomly

[cmale123]

Why are you listening to this guy bs. I believe you issue selecting guy, and you blame it on the guy. Get to know the guy at least. I am not talking about money wise. More question how relationship you have before. What the longest. What happen. Same for us guy. We don't just want any girl is sexy. We don't want gold digger, mental issue girl, hooker or what ever. We have to get know girl too.

[wankiam]

women are quite capable at being like that too... this is less about gender and more to do with the format of tinder... most users see it as a game site

[Truthatanycost]

So you are having random hookups with guys and wondering why they don't stick around?

[Ishcah23]

Their not random. How about you bake a cake and put all of your energy into that cake only to find out that cake has vanished and you'll never get to eat it?

[Truthatanycost]

How long do you get to know them before hooking up?

[Ishcah23]

Quite a while. Your missing my point about the cake. Would you be annoyed if you made a good cake only for it to vanish? Please answer my question and stop deflecting it's annoying more than Mark Suckerberg doing it

[Truthatanycost]

No it would not annoy me because it would rarely happen. When I'm interested in a girl, I observe her from all angles, use discernment and figure out her character before I decide if she's worth my time.

But... then I wouldn't expect to find good ingredients on Tinder for any cake. Tinder is known for hookups or ONS.

However, I'd say that at this point, that's all most guys are looking for so it will be the same where ever you go.

In another comment you asked ''And who dictates that it's only about sex? ''

When it comes to sex, females generally dictate the rules of engagement. A very large majority of females are having random hookups with the bad boys, or semi bad type...

[Pamina]

Because you're hooking up with the wrong type of guys, apparently.

[Ishcah23]

Clearly I am. I'm almost sick of guys

[DeshawnMGTOW]

cos ur a cheap whore who gives out sex easily by the sounds of it. the dude dont wanna deal with your bullshit afterwards

[nerdyinsomniac]

We women make it hard for guys to get in our pants. Some of them try to take revenge

[Ishcah23]

Which is rightly so lol

[40Ninjas]

You are stupid for being on dating apps. We all know how shitty they are yet you people still go on them. I blame you

[Ishcah23]

I only made a Tinder account to find someone but clearly that's impossible. You blame me blame the f***er that made Tinder

[40Ninjas]

I do, I think all dating apps are stupid. But you are a fool for using them. I don’t uses them and never have and never will. It is not that hard

[Alex_988_2]

There you got the answer. Respect your ass if you want to be respected. Don't be an easy desperate type ❤.
Hats off to the experience ma'am @Screenwriter

[Screenwriter]

@Alex_988_2 its all about HOW you use the app. You can't blame Tinder for your choices. Realize how men often view women and how the app is generally being used and don't use it that way. Go to other sites that are more often used for meeting people for dating.

[Alex_988_2]

@Screenwriter you ever used it and then regretted or enjoyed?

[Screenwriter]

@Alex_988_2 I've used match, eharmony, zoosk, never Tinder. I'm out of the age range for Tinder. Eharmony was a waste of time. They ask 100s of questions and I never got a match... plus it seems their goal is NOT dating it's partnership. The ONE. I don't believe in the one. There are many people you could match with and be happy with. I had some good meetings from site that no longer has personals... because someone was using them to rape people... I met three people, talked to at least a dozen and dated one pretty nice person. Craig's list. Really unfortunate because it was free. Met one person from Zoosk, but it was clear he was just on it for sex. He was a combination of handsy AND physically unattractive. I kept pulling away and he kept touching me... He was creepy. Unfortunate. I'm not on anything right now.

[Alex_988_2]

@Screenwriter handsy and physically unattractive?

[Screenwriter]

@Alex_988_2 Yeah, he talked a good game, but he wasn't attractive and he was so physically pushy... Was a double turnoff. We all know women are just as impressed by looks...

[Giggletr0n]

Clearly, like you can see it from space kind of clearly, he only wanted sex... he got it and moved on

[Ishcah23]

Well he's not getting it again! I'm not the one missing out.

[JCT666]

To put it bluntly, you've had your usefulness to them.

[Ishcah23]

Fuck off Looser Thor before I break your horns and rip out your wings @JCT666

[JCT666]

Truth hurts.

[Ishcah23]

I hope breaking your horns hurts you

[DWornock]

Most guys are nice so if that is happening, you have problems. Either it is your attitude or else you mislead them by indicating you are better looking than you are.

[Anonymous]

This is a hook-up app only what do you expect you get what you pay for bro

[Anonymous]

Tinder is a hookup app. When you use it to meet guys, you are getting exactly that. I not sure what the confusion is here.

[Ishcah23]

What hapened to it being a dating app? Why did the people that made it make it like this?

[Opinion Owner]

It has always been a hookup app, really. It's not so much how it was made, but rather how it has always been used.

[JimboGB]

I think you are putting way too much thought into this. Who cares about a match on Tinder, by it's nature, it's a fuck and leave.

[COMMODOREII]

Those were players babe. They don't have a heart. *hugs*

[zagor]

Oh my, tinder brings out people who just want a quick fuck! Who would have thought?