Guys, Is It A Turn Off If The Woman Says "I Love You" First?
Given the relationships I've had and the depths of betrayal I've discovered some women are capable of, "I love you" used to actually mean something to me, but now it is a hollow saying. A nice platitude. It's like when you go to the cashier at the local convenience store and the cashier asks "how's your day been?" Maybe they care, maybe they are interested in your life, but probably not. They are simply making small talk while you go about your business. Usually, they ask because they need to give the APPEARANCE of caring. After all, that is what customer services is all about: appearances.
So when a girl says "I love you", my first reaction is a mix of "uh huh, sure", "yeah, no you don't", and "what do you want now?" Now, it is true that Not All women will betray me. Not all women are harlots, looking to get me all buttered up so they can stab me in the back and rob me blind. But I have long since become divorced from my starry-eyed self that used to believe "I love you" means anything more than "I feel happy being around you. I enjoy your company, right now." Don't get me wrong, it's nice to hear her say it and try to convince me that she means it. But I'm not a fool. She loves me, she FEELS love. I'd "love" to see how long that fleeting euphoria lasts, because eventually it will die out. Infatuation is like anger, it is not self-sustaining. Eventually, you have to have solid commitment or your relationship will crash and burn... and that assumes you even trust that the word "commitment" means anything more than the word "love".
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NOT AT ALL!!
Silly as it may sound TO THIS DAY I still remember the first time my girlfriend told me she loved me. It was not some dramatic moment. It just happened.
We had been dating - and frankly, I had been through a very bad relationship and I had been the one who was skittish and reluctant. Anyhow, I dropped my girlfriend off at her apartment, gave her a peck on the cheek and she said, "I love you."
At that point I soared!! I was sure I was walking on air. Life was not just good - it was GREAT!! To this day I remember everything about that moment. The light in the hallway, the temperature. The smell of the carpeting in the aforementioned hallway. The light in my gfd's eyes, what she was wearing. I could go on and on.
12 years later we are living together - we don't to be married because we feel, somewhat to our mutual surprise, it cheapens what we have - and she has given me three beautiful, funny, goofy little gifts who get all excited when I get home and run up and yell - DADDY!!! Life does not get better than this. All because of three little words.
So guys, if you are reading this - if the gal who makes your day and who you can't stop thinking about says those three little words, run with it. It only gets better from there.
- 763 opinions shared on Dating topic.
So with my partner we had to do long distance for the first three months of our relationship (we met at the end of the semester so we're together for a month and then 'summer break'), so we hadn't gotten to the I love you point. And over those three months obviously those feelings became apparent but neither of us wanted to say it over the phone. So when we finally saw eachother I knew he wanted to say it first so I didn't.
But to think of it as a turn off, yes woman can fall inlove quicker so it might scare the guy away but really I think it can be a motivator
- 559 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Most guys I have dated get weird if I say it first coz they are not ready and most only really want a sexual relationship with no real strings attached. Usually a couple weeks later at most they dumped me!
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No, well it depends where each other are in the relationship. If he isn't as into you as you are of him then it could definitely change how he acts toward you. Women tend to fall in love quicker than men , not always but most of the time.. she should give hints to him and see how he responds as per where he is regarding his feeling toward you and the relationship. There is nothing more precious than a person expressing their love for you but it has to be mutual or someone is going to get their feelings hurt and it could change the direction of the relationship. Just be careful the first time.
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I personally find it relieving. When you fall in love all you do is worry and stress over if the other person feels the same way. Do they feel the same way about you or do they like you as much as you do them? It so stressful that it can put panic in your heart so dreadful that I know it has ended good relationships. So I say it's such a relief when she says I love you first.
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Off the top of my head i can't even begin to think how phycologically damaged a boy has to be in order to be turned off by hearing that ofcourse unless u dont really fit in to his future plans somehow or other... i honest mean no offence.. Thats what logic through my prism dictates;)
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I will not read the other comments so that I give my truest statement... It is like the most amazing thing on earth if you like the girl a lot. If you dont like her that much it means other to you. I dated a girl who told me she loved me and I didn't even really like her. My first thought was, Oh shit i am such a horrible person and i should end this before i get to deep and really hurt this girl bad.
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Well my previous boyfriend was scared saying it back because the first time I said it. I was on the couch kissed me goodbye I said “ I love you.” He paused and I saw the look in his face he sat me down “ saying he was nervous to admit his feelings but they were strong.” There are different ways of saying I love you. But remember guys need to know that in relationship sometimes the woman have more feelings as the relationship grows!
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I'm always scared to tell a man I love him as I always think he's going to run for the hills as soon as I say it. So I like to wait until he says it but I've never had a proper relationship in order for me to say those simple words sadly.
- 1.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.
He should be glad the woman just made his life easier. I guess that only time such as gesture would be a turn off is if he knows she's the clingy type.
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I don't believe in love. I think women can't trully love someone like unconditionally. They always love either resources, your attention or affection. But they don't love you. They may feel lust or desire but they can't love like we love women. I've seen a lot of women "loved" their boyfriend and cheated with different people.
- 355 opinions shared on Dating topic.
What? Why would this ever be considered a turn off? Expressing how you feel about someone should be encouraged
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The whole word "love" makes me uncomfortable... I've never said it.
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Its sweet. In most cases, she will say it after we've spent a significant amount of time together and have memories to cherish and wants to build more of those with me. So chances are we are already in love at that point.
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Not at all, i feel like a lot of guys struggle not to say it because they're afraid to be too needy. So if she says it first this can free us up to say it back.
Exceptions being if you say too fast, which depends on the relationship, then we worry about holes in condoms and being trapped. -
Only if it's like 5 mins in to the first date or way to early.
Then I'm like a Metal Gear ! Mark. Because that raises a red flag to me. Lol
If we have been together for awhile then na. Its super sweet and attractive. I'd snuggle them to death. XD -
No I actually like that Im really bad in expressing my feelings to a woman. And at the same time I want that woman in my life it's like hell. If the woman I like to have in my life proposes me I accept it whole heartedly it doesn't turn me off instead it's the best thing which happens to me.
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OMG i will be shoked, surprised and happy and confused, it will alwase be A TURN ON, ALWASE. Moust of the time boys/guys/mans make that step first.
I olso say "i love you" first evry time. - 2.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
not if i feel the same way and if not i ask her why and if i anit feeling it then i tell maybe later down the road and if not at all just gonna say no i wanna be friends
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Not at all. I think that's better in most timess because men fear the feeling isn't mutual. Ofc it shouldn't be too soon because that only makes things awkward
- 2.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.
No! I'd be honored but it's also the idea of how I felt about her, if I did not feel the same way then that's awkward
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No. Guys like to be appriciated more than females do.
I think girl with such a courage to make a confession to their crush/love ones is appealing enough to be considered dating. -
I think it's a turn off if she says it like after a week or even a few days but no if she really means it after a time I think its awesome
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