Guys, Is It A Turn Off If The Woman Says "I Love You" First?

Question

Investigator · Accepted Answer

Given the relationships I've had and the depths of betrayal I've discovered some women are capable of, "I love you" used to actually mean something to me, but now it is a hollow saying. A nice platitude. It's like when you go to the cashier at the local convenience store and the cashier asks "how's your day been?" Maybe they care, maybe they are interested in your life, but probably not. They are simply making small talk while you go about your business. Usually, they ask because they need to give the APPEARANCE of caring. After all, that is what customer services is all about: appearances.

So when a girl says "I love you", my first reaction is a mix of "uh huh, sure", "yeah, no you don't", and "what do you want now?" Now, it is true that Not All women will betray me. Not all women are harlots, looking to get me all buttered up so they can stab me in the back and rob me blind. But I have long since become divorced from my starry-eyed self that used to believe "I love you" means anything more than "I feel happy being around you. I enjoy your company, right now." Don't get me wrong, it's nice to hear her say it and try to convince me that she means it. But I'm not a fool. She loves me, she FEELS love. I'd "love" to see how long that fleeting euphoria lasts, because eventually it will die out. Infatuation is like anger, it is not self-sustaining. Eventually, you have to have solid commitment or your relationship will crash and burn... and that assumes you even trust that the word "commitment" means anything more than the word "love".

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

NOT AT ALL!!

Silly as it may sound TO THIS DAY I still remember the first time my girlfriend told me she loved me. It was not some dramatic moment. It just happened.

We had been dating - and frankly, I had been through a very bad relationship and I had been the one who was skittish and reluctant. Anyhow, I dropped my girlfriend off at her apartment, gave her a peck on the cheek and she said, "I love you."

At that point I soared!! I was sure I was walking on air. Life was not just good - it was GREAT!! To this day I remember everything about that moment. The light in the hallway, the temperature. The smell of the carpeting in the aforementioned hallway. The light in my gfd's eyes, what she was wearing. I could go on and on.

12 years later we are living together - we don't to be married because we feel, somewhat to our mutual surprise, it cheapens what we have - and she has given me three beautiful, funny, goofy little gifts who get all excited when I get home and run up and yell - DADDY!!! Life does not get better than this. All because of three little words.

So guys, if you are reading this - if the gal who makes your day and who you can't stop thinking about says those three little words, run with it. It only gets better from there.

JustRollTheDice · Accepted Answer

So with my partner we had to do long distance for the first three months of our relationship (we met at the end of the semester so we're together for a month and then 'summer break'), so we hadn't gotten to the I love you point. And over those three months obviously those feelings became apparent but neither of us wanted to say it over the phone. So when we finally saw eachother I knew he wanted to say it first so I didn't.
But to think of it as a turn off, yes woman can fall inlove quicker so it might scare the guy away but really I think it can be a motivator

wingattebaby16 · Accepted Answer

Most guys I have dated get weird if I say it first coz they are not ready and most only really want a sexual relationship with no real strings attached. Usually a couple weeks later at most they dumped me!

Billygee6969 · Answer

No, well it depends where each other are in the relationship. If he isn't as into you as you are of him then it could definitely change how he acts toward you. Women tend to fall in love quicker than men , not always but most of the time.. she should give hints to him and see how he responds as per where he is regarding his feeling toward you and the relationship. There is nothing more precious than a person expressing their love for you but it has to be mutual or someone is going to get their feelings hurt and it could change the direction of the relationship. Just be careful the first time.

John1972 · Answer

I personally find it relieving. When you fall in love all you do is worry and stress over if the other person feels the same way. Do they feel the same way about you or do they like you as much as you do them? It so stressful that it can put panic in your heart so dreadful that I know it has ended good relationships. So I say it's such a relief when she says I love you first.

onomatophobia · Answer

Off the top of my head i can't even begin to think how phycologically damaged a boy has to be in order to be turned off by hearing that ofcourse unless u dont really fit in to his future plans somehow or other... i honest mean no offence.. Thats what logic through my prism dictates;)

EABsTUQ · Answer

I will not read the other comments so that I give my truest statement... It is like the most amazing thing on earth if you like the girl a lot. If you dont like her that much it means other to you. I dated a girl who told me she loved me and I didn't even really like her. My first thought was, Oh shit i am such a horrible person and i should end this before i get to deep and really hurt this girl bad.

ECityGirl89 · Answer

Well my previous boyfriend was scared saying it back because the first time I said it. I was on the couch kissed me goodbye I said “ I love you.” He paused and I saw the look in his face he sat me down “ saying he was nervous to admit his feelings but they were strong.” There are different ways of saying I love you. But remember guys need to know that in relationship sometimes the woman have more feelings as the relationship grows!

Ishcah23 · Answer

I'm always scared to tell a man I love him as I always think he's going to run for the hills as soon as I say it. So I like to wait until he says it but I've never had a proper relationship in order for me to say those simple words sadly.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

He should be glad the woman just made his life easier. I guess that only time such as gesture would be a turn off is if he knows she's the clingy type.

Mamamialetmego · Answer

I don't believe in love. I think women can't trully love someone like unconditionally. They always love either resources, your attention or affection. But they don't love you. They may feel lust or desire but they can't love like we love women. I've seen a lot of women "loved" their boyfriend and cheated with different people.

Randomawkwardness · Answer

What? Why would this ever be considered a turn off? Expressing how you feel about someone should be encouraged

MajesticTwelve · Answer

The whole word "love" makes me uncomfortable... I've never said it.

nodnol32 · Answer

Its sweet. In most cases, she will say it after we've spent a significant amount of time together and have memories to cherish and wants to build more of those with me. So chances are we are already in love at that point.

kencorn · Answer

Not at all, i feel like a lot of guys struggle not to say it because they're afraid to be too needy. So if she says it first this can free us up to say it back.

Exceptions being if you say too fast, which depends on the relationship, then we worry about holes in condoms and being trapped.

Corerue · Answer

Only if it's like 5 mins in to the first date or way to early.

Then I'm like a Metal Gear ! Mark. Because that raises a red flag to me. Lol

If we have been together for awhile then na. Its super sweet and attractive. I'd snuggle them to death. XD

Anonymous · Answer

No I actually like that Im really bad in expressing my feelings to a woman. And at the same time I want that woman in my life it's like hell. If the woman I like to have in my life proposes me I accept it whole heartedly it doesn't turn me off instead it's the best thing which happens to me.

Alexandrubaschet08 · Answer

OMG i will be shoked, surprised and happy and confused, it will alwase be A TURN ON, ALWASE. Moust of the time boys/guys/mans make that step first. I olso say "i love you" first evry time.

jasco · Answer

not if i feel the same way and if not i ask her why and if i anit feeling it then i tell maybe later down the road and if not at all just gonna say no i wanna be friends

Kezzz · Answer

Not at all. I think that's better in most timess because men fear the feeling isn't mutual. Ofc it shouldn't be too soon because that only makes things awkward

Jjpayne · Answer

No! I'd be honored but it's also the idea of how I felt about her, if I did not feel the same way then that's awkward

Jae3095 · Answer

No. Guys like to be appriciated more than females do. I think girl with such a courage to make a confession to their crush/love ones is appealing enough to be considered dating.

Alistar88 · Answer

I think it's a turn off if she says it like after a week or even a few days but no if she really means it after a time I think its awesome

TyPilot · Answer

Not at all!! However, it scares me when I say "I love you" and She replies "ok"... That worries me a bit...

Pipeliner87 · Answer

The word love means dick shit intodays world. So no it does not matter if you or he says it. People throw the word love around like it's the best boy band around.

Titanic1912 · Answer

Hell no! Sometimes I tell her I love you first and sometimes she’ll say it to me first. It’s never a turn of if your woman says it to you first. I love it when she says it first.

Anonymous · Answer

The only way saying I love you first can be a turn off is if it's too soon. What's too soon? That depends on the relationship.

AlexBlack007 · Answer

HELL no! That would be wonderful! Except if it's my crush and she says it to someone else. 😋

HusamRocks · Answer

When a guy hears it, It's like "what the hell I got myself into". Most of them

Inv8derChris · Answer

No. Contrary to popular belief; many guys like and appreciate a woman who can be forward and honest

SentientBrick · Answer

Not in the least. Actually it maybe a turn on instead.

NyfikenSyd · Answer

No, not at all. Someone has to go first, who it is doesn't really matter. I'd be flattered.

jwr199 · Answer

It all depends on time , if it's just after the first date then kinda but if the relationship has been going on for some time then no it's definitely not a turn off

Iuse2hands · Answer

No. She should not be afraid to speak her mind and dare I say share her feelings.

DanD33 · Answer

It wouldn't turn me off but I wouldn't look to much into it

politelyme · Answer

It's wonderful but to hear "I'm in love with you" is breathtaking.

Derick529 · Answer

Its not a turn off, some guys would actually be relieved if a woman says it first. They don't know %100 how the woman feels and most of the time it leaves them wondering if she feels the same. Once that she says those words, guys would be relieved.

ikisseddeath · Answer

Never I'd love to hear those words if I cared about the person if it got that far I'd probably say I love you to after

Hillbilly99 · Answer

I have no problem with a woman saying I love you first. If she's willing to go out in that limb, all the power to her.

CaptainKaraoke · Answer

Nope. Saves me the trouble of blurting it out first. As long as the other doesn't reply with, "Thank you!", All is copacetic.

mrpt1986 · Answer

Sometimes it's a turn off yes When both of you aren't on the same page It doesn't matter to say i love you, acting like it is better...

Icybacon · Answer

Depends on the timing of it in the relationship. Otherwise if doesn't matter who says it, or even if you do, can just be something unsaid

pimpinsexmunky · Answer

No it is not a turn off. If anything it make me hornier in the minute. Kinda like asking me to cum deep inside her when I am close.

josiah22 · Answer

Absolutely not a turn off to me. If anything, it makes me feel more confident to move forward with things. It's empowering and encouraging to hear.

shomicka · Answer

Only turn off about saying I love you if it is not genuine. Another one would be if someone have some sick idea of what love is. Which could be the same or can be whole new topic. You are probably in the clear...

aguyintheworld · Answer

No I get all warm and fuzzy inside unless it's somebody I'm not into

backdoorman · Answer

Not if I'm happy about the fact that she loves me. It can be awkward though if I don't feel the same way about her.

Nanananinano · Answer

Nope to be honest most guys expect women to be more expressive that's why it's not a turn off.

Burtonfan · Answer

Not for me. Only happened once for me. I didn't treat her right.

Anonymous · Answer

Not to me. Because it makes it easier for me to make the relationship official.

Avicenna · Answer

That's great, actually.

Firerubies · Answer

No I like it I’m not really a “leading” person in relationships

Shy_Steve · Answer

It usually is a turn on if we have already been dating for a while.

thelowone · Answer

For me, no when a woman initiates the love and says it first that immediately makes me happy and makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world

sriiii · Answer

Nope! It gives a guy confidence when it comes to their relationship unless he doesn't like her in that way since the beginning

ChrisMike019 · Answer

Hell no. It is a good thing if that's happen. There are shy boys who can't say it just so, it's complicated for them.

kwesiyogi · Answer

Nothing is turn off... if you love the guy you love him its because you don't want to loose him... doesn't matter love is blind

Jltakk · Answer

No, I prefer my partner say that without me having to say it first every time.

Magarmor64 · Answer

No! Definitely no! Cause then I’d know that she means it

Revenos · Answer

I would much rather have the girl tell me first. Most likely the guy can learn to love the woman, but for the girl it gets more difficult in my opinion. Either way, true or not, I would rather have the girl tell me first.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No it's not a turn off if a girl tells me that she loves me first

PinkMichae · Answer

Wasn't a turn off to my man.

Clarke498 · Answer

Depends how early we're talking. If it's really damn early i'd have problems trusting it, but if no, of course not.

Guys, Is It A Turn Off If The Woman Says "I Love You" First?

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Guys, Is It A Turn Off If The Woman Says "I Love You" First?

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Guys, how do you feel when a girl says "I love you" first?

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