Is dating only older women a sign of mommy issues?

Question

This is something I keep wondering.
I have only dated or got involved with girls older than me (from a simple two years difference, to ten) and never got interested and even refused girls my age or younger. Somehow it always felt strange the idea of dating someone younger.
I admit I haven't had the best relationship with my mom, but I don't think it's a sign of mommy issues like many people point out.
What's your opinion?

David_Kek · Accepted Answer

It's definitely a sign of mummy issues, for this is my personal experience myself, having been raised by an incredibly abusive mother, and in practice I've only fell for the older ones (from 8 years older to 16).

The way i see it, if you haven't been raised as a man with a nurturing loving female role model, you will grow up with a hole in your heart, and you will fill that hole if you can with exactly that. If you've already been raised with that, then you're confident enough to not care if you're "lovable", because you already know you are.

In the same way women with daddy issues tend to feel very insecure about being used for sex, men with mummy issues feel insecure for being used for their paycheck, making it very difficult to trust in a relationship. Hence they tend not to go for the ones they really desire and instead go for the ones which they have control of in the relationship.

Simply, older women (or fatter men, whatever) are cheaper, so they have to invest a lot more into the relationship, hence making it a lot easier for said partner with issues to trust that they actually like them for who they are and aren't using them for X, Y and Z.

It's entitlement, and in the long run it doesn't make you happy, having a doormat for a partner that can't ever successfully push you back when you need it. And that entitlement lasts until said core issues are addressed and resolved.
If you have a physical hole in your heart then you're not ready to go running, what you need is surgery.
In the same way, if you have an emotional hole in your heart, then you're not ready for a relationship, you need therapy.

If you want to get over this, i'd recommend "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents", by Lindsay C. Gibson.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703

Nik1hil · Accepted Answer

Perform the Oedipus test!..
Something I came across.. Through an article..

Step 1) Go on XVIDEO or Pornhub...
Or pick a lit-erotica
or porn comic

Step 2) Select any porn! With step-mom or mom-son category..
Or pick a lit-erotica from same category
Or pick a milftoon comic..

Step 3) go through it... With a setup prepared to Masturbate..

Don't worry about the fact if you have a hard on.. Just enjoy it...
Even men with no Oedipus complex will end up exploding..
Because Porns and all this work... Is made for pleasure..

If you..
: Cum- don't have mommy issue.

: Orgasm - have mommy issue.

: if you have instant Erection.. To your full length, which takes very less time then it takes for you to get hard on usually - mommy issue

: you Cum so hard and Shoot.. Like never before - mommy issue.

: after you Cum, in your hard wired brain you will find more than usual satisfaction!..

Conclusion : Don't freak out or worry about this.. Lot of men have this issue.. Like a lot of girls have daddy issue...
They just choose to avoid or suppress and fight it..

KEY : Don't fight it.. Just enjoy and keep things in controlled environment, and don't socially express it..

sejla · Accepted Answer

Wow I could see you digging yourself into a hole with the not so good mom relationship and the same name lol. Only a therapist can really know if a person has mommy issues I think. I do think we find partners who might be able to give us some things that we missed in our early years. In a healthy way.

Could be a sign that there is underlying issues, could be a preference or it could be an attraction to emotional maturity. I'm not saying all people over the age of 30 and up are more mature. Clearly this isn't true. Any more than all younger people are immature.

There is some commonality with being with someone who is the same age. When you tell a story about something in the past you both get it. You might have listened to the same music when you were young but having a commonality based on similar experiences isn't enough draw for everyone especially if doing the same things one did in the past isn't their thing. Then it comes down to interests, values, etc to finding a partner and being on the same path at the same time.

Always dating someone younger or older might be an issue but dating in one's age group is no guarantee. Most marriages that end in divorce are with people who are close in age.

Paulaanderson · Accepted Answer

It's possible. If you didn't have a good relationship with her u could be seeking extra comfort from older ladies her age as compensation.
I have known a couple of boys that had differing issues with their mums
One was like you and had talked with me about things and coukd understand the issue.
The other one had great relationship with his mum. She was an out and out glamour ladylike woman. Every boys fantasy, cleavage legs. He admitted he liked women who looked similar. She didn't dress slutty but she had that thing about her.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. A 2 year age difference is rather insignificant.

2. There are advantages to dating older women that are very independent of "mommy issues." Older women are more mature, more direct in their communications, and play fewer games.

3. I assume you don't call her "Mommy," right? :) :) :)

ElissaDido · Answer

Does dating a man older than a woman means the woman has daddy issues? No not necessarily.

But it could depend on the age difference. 10 years older is still decent. Shakira is 10 years older than Piqué.
If the age difference is too big then maybe there's some issues (like over 15 years).

Account2 · Answer

Well I had a pretty messed up relationship with my mom and my wife is a year older than me but they're nothing alike. I actually strongly dislike when she wears similar clothes or hairstyles to my mom or when she calls me by the same pet name, so she doesn't.

One of my younger brothers is dating a real young girl though and he's always acted like a toddler, so she's still way more mature than him despite the age and basically has to parent him sometimes. So age doesn't even necessarily relate to it like that.

There are different issues, different ways to deal with "mommy issues," and different symptoms of them when it comes to them effecting romantic pursuits. But unless you're trying to force your partner to play the role of your mother + sex (which is a little messed up) then I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with it effecting who you are attracted to. I think some studies have even shown that people in general tend to be more attracted to those who are similar to their parents of the opposite sex. So maybe it's not even the issues.

It just depends on the person, what issues they do/n't have, and how they dealt with it.

Skyrim5346 · Answer

I'm 33 now the most prime aged woman who I have ever been with was 39 when I was 19 so 20 years older than me it's actually the greatest relationship I've ever had in my entire life it lasted for only about three years she was a great woman who was the most seductive woman I have ever had the pleasure of making love too so I don't think that age matters all that much I'm planning going closer to 30 or 35 years older maybe even 40 the older they are the more experienced they are I want to get too dirty but the 39 year-old woman she was only 20 years older than me gave me one of the most epic blowies I've ever had in my entire life This Is Where I Leave off but she had me going for an hour nuff said older women are the shit that's my opinion though and I don't think it's a sign of mommy issues and if it's a woman with an older guy she doesn't have daddy issues I think of that as Sigmund Freud bullshit that's what he always asked what was your relationship like with your mother and he's actually thought of as a joke now so that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it

TheLawAroundHere · Answer

No. Not at all. The older woman / younger man dynamic has been around since Christ was a corporal. I was a big believer in the system. Then i settled down. At which time, i applied a more... realistic system. 4 years, plus or minus, age difference is as out of the box you wanna go.

But, son... you are 22. I remember 22, kinda. You are at the age all you have to worry about is her kid waking up.

Older women, historically... including my own personal history, are looking for a young man. A man who cam show up, fuck, and leave. All in the course of an hour.

Im not saying that older women are sluttier than younger women. But if you meet one on one of your nights out, she will be happy if things wrap up by...1030. She has to get up in the morning.

Long story, short... Have fun. Pay attention. You are entering the most fun classroom known to man.

SueAnon84 · Answer

That's like saying: "Is dating a man older than you show that you've got daddy issues?" Doesn't add up. How is dating ANYONE only ten years give or take older than you mean that you have daddy issues? They're not 20 to 40 years older than you, just ten at most! So I NEVER really understood that. Having a neglectful father and dating a committed, loving and loyal man doesn't equal anything. It doesn't connect!

MissDawn7961 · Answer

not necessarily ! you just may like dating older women for they can be more mature and not as ignorant as some of these younger females are ! for some younger women like to go around dressing and teasing males by dressing like sluts , just to get the man to spend big money on them and these females do not care about the man at all ! Thanks

Pedrodad · Answer

In my experience the older women I dated seemed to have maturity and grace and they don't try to change you to their likings... it's complex I find younger women will try to change you like your mom did, ie your hair length... Beards and if my girlfriend starts telling to cut my hair... or do this or that it won't take long to be resentful and feel henpecked and there is a lot of lonely men haters out there and of course men are just as bad... My best advice... Don't Don't sweat the small stuff!!!

ChaoticVortex · Answer

Its has it's own line of attractiveness. Older women have a firmer grass on things. They carry like, well women and not girls or children... you dont feel like this is someone's daughter, you feel like this is a mature woman. I just got interested in a 27 year old woman cause she acts like a real woman. Not a child or like life isn't that serious. She looks to her future and plans for that. And that's what you want. Someone to plan your future with. For the record I'm 23. And still live at home. But this woman accepted that and she says it's more common with guys my age who are schooling and working cause it's less money. So heck love who you love. I love my mother and I respect her. But when I date, older women just have more self respect and more, "i live for my future and the choices i make are to supplement that" it's really quite exciting for me. But, yeah that's just me.

loveslongnails · Answer

I don't think dating an "older" woman means you have mommy issues at all, unless perhaps she is AS old as your mommy and you want her to act like she is ! I think that's the key - do you want her to BE a mommy to you? If that's the case, you don't necessarily have to be with an older woman, just someone who treats you like a little boy. THAT'S mommy issues.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I guess could be, tune into how you feel about that. Like... do you want her to "love" you, take care of you, etc..

. I don't think that was the case for me... I was drawn to their "maturity", perceived emotional stability. I didn't like the "giddy" "giggly" shaky girls. I had my own issues though. I'm drawn to a certain set of values... which is more how she carries herself... confidently, with respect and dignity... class... integrity... That speaks volumes. The ones that try to hide and put on a mask, I don't like... I don't trust it.

Explore within yourself what is going on, as good a time as any to do that.

Annarae · Answer

There might be no issue. It could be that you just want something serious and lean toward the older women for their maturity. Men love the comfort and experience of older women.
The only time I could classify it as mommy issues is if you're looking for something in the older woman that you longed for in your mom. Mummy issues is all about dating older women to compensate for whatever the mother lacked in.

BlackRoseFairy · Answer

Not necessarily. When I was your age I preferred dating older guys because they were more mature. They could have a serious conversation without grabbing my boobs, there was a higher probability of them being actually interested in a relationship rather than just sex, and well, more attractive.

AJ2992 · Answer

Usually girls are quite mature for there age.. and if you tend to like older women then i think you like your partners who are matured, knows what they want and in someways put your needs first then theirs.. i think there is no issue with liking, dating or even marrying a older women.. but an important point is that the older women are matured and they know what they want and if you are not matured to handle them they won't take time to dump you.. time is of the essence for them and they hardly want to spend it on someone who is not upto their understanding level..

Incredibro · Answer

Dating someone older than you isn't in any form "mama's boy" related. It simply means you're in for best quality. Dating someome older simply means that you're serious person and are more attracted for maturity and which also makes you a more mature person.

Shiver · Answer

I hope not. I have a normal relationship with my mom, nothing special. All of my FWBs are actual cougars, like 38 and above, so I guess I should know. I'm just really attracted to maturity, experience and people who are fun to engage with. I'm never really authentic with girls my age, I'm basically a lie, but mature women tend to really like me for how I am. Maybe some of them might have son issues, as they always insist to pay for my travel costs and meals on days that I visit them and always pay for everything when out on fun dates, acting kind of like a mother figure.
I don't think I've got any mommy issues, but it makes no real difference to me or my sex life.

MusicMayhem · Answer

No it's usually a sign you can't get girls your own age but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Older women put in more effort and make you feel better about yourself, aren't afraid to compliment you, ask questions rather than act cold, and if they want sex will say say so because they're beyond caring about being slut shamed. Basically they're more confident about expressing themselves.

Porcelaine · Answer

Mommy or daddy issues I think are only when you date someone significantly older, old enough to be a maternal/paternal figure

Bloodcap790 · Answer

No I date older women because

1. Their sexy
2. Their more mature
3. They are confident and know what they want
4. They are more direct and give you crystal clear signs that they are interested
5. They are more willing to do kinky stuff

And most importantly for a personal reason I cannot stand the thought of dating a younger woman , I simply cannot date anyone below 25

Schloss · Answer

I don't attract anyone, but I find it easier to speak with old, old ladies. Most seniors have time to talk and are lonely like me.

I have no attraction to the older women as far as dating goes, ut I do like the company since my only other friends to talk to are my dogs. Older people tend to be a lot more sociable too. Try amd get someone who's younger to step away from their phone.

Is dating only older women a sign of mommy issues?

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