Put you're a single mom up straight away. Plenty men just don't want to take on someone else's kids. And they don't have to. What's a red flag is how you seem to want to make them a dad to your kids. No wonder they run. I get making sure a dude is serious but it's not up to them to be the father to your kids. That what their actual father should do.
On a side note, a friend of mine married a woman with one baby (3-months old). They were married for about two years and bought a house, a car and furniture together. They began to fight and they split up. She told him she wants everything and if he doesn't comply she will call the authorities and tell them that he beat the child.
It could be their own bad experiences or those of others.
That said, asking someone to be a father to a child that isn't theirs is asking a lot. I'm not saying that no one will do it, but it's a lot of work and there is still some financial commitment even if he doesn't adopt the kid.
I suspect younger single moms have more success in attracting guys because they seem more likely to have kids with the new guy.
Same reason women do it to single fathers. A lot of people dont want to be dragged in the drama of being the new girl with the other womens family and kids. Especially if the couple left on bad terms. Also, they dont want to take care of another person's kids.
I would never consider dating a single women unless she was widowed, and even then it would be a really long shot. There are plenty of women in the world without the baggage of children, so most guys have little reason to get involved.
I'm not sure it is just the kids, it's a package deal... like you come with accessories. Some guys run from that and some value it. Maybe it is your desperation that scares them off and how you go about that? like being too direct? I know women with kids whove gotten married and worked out great, some that are still looking, etc..
Most guys seem to not want to raise someone else's kiddos. I personally wouldn't be bothered, but I get where most of them are coming from. A lot of us have had bad experiences with single moms, like tons of baggage, beef with the other guy and as you said money. Guys just hear "single mom" and skidaddle because of those experiences and/or horror stories. You'll find a guy who's right for you and your kiddos tho. Good luck.
When I was first dating at a young age these issue was easy. Mature single women with kids are dating single guys who have kids or none at all. I would date a single mum and I have before. Do these guys want children of their own, maybe they have past financial issues & with their exes etc.
I think that you need to understand that most people don’t want to pay for someone else’s child. But there are many men out there who don’t mind dating single mothers. I have a couple of guy friends who won’t mind. But When you meet a guy who accepts that you’re a single mom, you better take it. Don’t complain about why most men wouldn’t go for you. You’re not a single 27 yr old anymore. 37 is not the new 27.
Single mothers are a disaster. You had a child or children with a man who was either a good man and you chased him away -- which makes you a crazy bitch. Or you chose some super-stud-Alpha to fuck, deliberately got pregnant to try to trap him, and he bolted on you --which means your judgement sucks.
Also, no quality man wants to raise some other man's children, while paying for all of the mother's past mistakes.
@jillybeanns Let me add that a man who dates a single-mother is also at risk for false child abuse and child rape accusations. No pussy is worth this risk.
I don’t agree. I consider myself a single mother. Labeling myself as a widow (hate that term) seems like playing sympathy card. I always mark the single box.
As far a the rest of your opinion, i don’t necessarily agree but understand. However let’s not forget the men that are just plain assholes and play the field or alcoholics or just plain losers... you still blame the women?
@Mickey9999 Absolutely I blame the women. Men are who they are. Look, the guy was an asshole when she met him, was an asshole when they started dating, was an asshole when she fucked him, an asshole when she decided to get pregnant with his child... than, all of a sudden she realizes, "he's an asshole"!! #Badjudgement, #Nosympathy.
You sound like you just dislike women in general. Your writing reeks of hate , blame and bias. Divorces are extremely common nowadays. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. They can’t all be crazy right?
@Mickey9999 Not true. Men rarely "pose" beyond a couple of dates or the first couple of times having sex. Women are responsible for choosing who's sperm makes it to the end zone and we have epidemic levels of women choosing badly than wondering why they end up alone.
@nelly83 The problem is women have wildly unrealistic expectations from men in general. I don't say that lightly. Women not only expect to have a Disney Prince as their man they expect to be treated like a princess. The bad judgement of women followed by insane expectations women have of men are at the core of the problem.
@KrakenAttackin, I think all the guys on here have unrealistic expectations of women too. They want an 18 yr old, hot, pretty, huge tits, slim waist, big ass, housewives. In reality, most men marry very plain average women without any of that.
- Don't want to be part of your bad decisions - Not ready to be a 'dad' of any sort - Not wanting to be tied down - I kinda like my free time and money
Once you get older more
- Messy divorce; not something i wanna get involved with
Wow! Some pinks shame us for not wanting to date single mothers. They be really mad.
Anyhow. Your best bet is dating single/divorced/widowed fathers or cuckolds. Yeah, they're not that many as we bachelor/childless men but they are pretty much the only ones in your dating scopes. We're not going to resume someone else's mistake.
As a child of a single mother the less commitment the better he has to ease his way in not making any promises not buying gifts. The more time spent bonding with him and your kids the closer they will be but there has to be 0 pressure to get along. He may not ever be able to be a father depending on your kids age but a father figure/older brother.
Well I sure as hell don’t want to date a man with kids if I wanted some I’d have one but I don’t for a reason. If I ever did I’d expect a guy to be committed... but how you know you didn’t pick a trash guy is even if you don’t work out He’s Still There For His Kids. Stop looking for a father for your kids and look for someone that likes you in general. Stop bringing random men around your children though. You’ll know if you found someone genuine over time.
Just stop trying to get people that aren't in to someone like you. Be honest and straightforward about that you are single parent and how many, especially if it's more than 1 since some can't handle more than a certain amount, or any in general. you also have those that are aware of that they aren't good for children.
Here is another thing that I've seen happen. Date a single mom, and lo and behold soon you have your own kid. Told a few friends this. Guess what, 2 years later she's pregnant. It's fine if the guy actually is ready, tired of playing the dating game and just wants to settle down. But if he is not ready and she pulls the Hey that's my kid card. Then it slowly unravels. Seen it a enough times to call it a thing.
being a single mom is like wearing a giant banner that says "I make bad decisions when it comes to men"
why would I want to get involved with that? Single mothers should ideally seek single fathers, and if not, at least don't complain about why guys are not stoked on this. The kids aren't of his DNA, you banged some asshole, he splooged his load in ya, and now I have to clean up the mess?
I'm not hating on anyone. I'd like to think of myself as conducting research into a social and societal views on single moms and why men say Nope. And I'm gathering a lot of valuable data and insight. Thank you for your contribution, however angsty.
I didn't say you were hatin on anybody, I said you were complaining, your listing all the reasons why you think you are entitled to something which you are not entitled to and then saying "but they won't even give me a chance, why?"
I can tell you now a ton of white men are like this. They will ghost you after learning you are a single mother. With all due respect, It’s best you find a good black (or Hispanic) man. They are 98% more likely and willing to accept you and your beautiful child (ren).
By not given a chance does that mean no dates? I have dated and been in relationships with single mothers. It wasn’t the kids that I was evaluating, it was her to see if we connected and could build a relationship.
Sorry to hear that. Like I said for me and I know other guys just because someone has kids that’s not a red flag and especially as people age kids become more of a possibility. Guess the best advice is keep trying, ask your friends to set you up with friends of friends and be open to guys that approach you.
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Put you're a single mom up straight away.
Plenty men just don't want to take on someone else's kids. And they don't have to.
What's a red flag is how you seem to want to make them a dad to your kids. No wonder they run. I get making sure a dude is serious but it's not up to them to be the father to your kids. That what their actual father should do.
On a side note, a friend of mine married a woman with one baby (3-months old). They were married for about two years and bought a house, a car and furniture together. They began to fight and they split up. She told him she wants everything and if he doesn't comply she will call the authorities and tell them that he beat the child.
He gave her everything and left.
It could be their own bad experiences or those of others.
That said, asking someone to be a father to a child that isn't theirs is asking a lot. I'm not saying that no one will do it, but it's a lot of work and there is still some financial commitment even if he doesn't adopt the kid.
I suspect younger single moms have more success in attracting guys because they seem more likely to have kids with the new guy.
I see you mention having kids- how many are we talking about? The more kids you have, the more work. Kids get sick, hurt or have other issues.
Same reason women do it to single fathers. A lot of people dont want to be dragged in the drama of being the new girl with the other womens family and kids. Especially if the couple left on bad terms. Also, they dont want to take care of another person's kids.
I would never consider dating a single women unless she was widowed, and even then it would be a really long shot. There are plenty of women in the world without the baggage of children, so most guys have little reason to get involved.
I'm not sure it is just the kids, it's a package deal... like you come with accessories. Some guys run from that and some value it. Maybe it is your desperation that scares them off and how you go about that? like being too direct? I know women with kids whove gotten married and worked out great, some that are still looking, etc..
Your dating the wrong guys. Single mom of 3 and I prefer single dads. However, some bachlors are great to. 💯
Most guys seem to not want to raise someone else's kiddos. I personally wouldn't be bothered, but I get where most of them are coming from. A lot of us have had bad experiences with single moms, like tons of baggage, beef with the other guy and as you said money. Guys just hear "single mom" and skidaddle because of those experiences and/or horror stories.
You'll find a guy who's right for you and your kiddos tho. Good luck.
When I was first dating at a young age these issue was easy. Mature single women with kids are dating single guys who have kids or none at all. I would date a single mum and I have before. Do these guys want children of their own, maybe they have past financial issues & with their exes etc.
I think that you need to understand that most people don’t want to pay for someone else’s child. But there are many men out there who don’t mind dating single mothers. I have a couple of guy friends who won’t mind. But When you meet a guy who accepts that you’re a single mom, you better take it. Don’t complain about why most men wouldn’t go for you. You’re not a single 27 yr old anymore. 37 is not the new 27.
Single mothers are a disaster. You had a child or children with a man who was either a good man and you chased him away -- which makes you a crazy bitch. Or you chose some super-stud-Alpha to fuck, deliberately got pregnant to try to trap him, and he bolted on you --which means your judgement sucks.
Also, no quality man wants to raise some other man's children, while paying for all of the mother's past mistakes.
Single mothers are only good for sex.
What if the father passed away?
@jillybeanns Than she is a widow, which is a different category than single mother.
Well, I’m saying in a case if they aren’t married. Is she still a widow?
@jillybeanns Let me add that a man who dates a single-mother is also at risk for false child abuse and child rape accusations. No pussy is worth this risk.
@jillybeanns No, she is not a widow.
I don’t agree. I consider myself a single mother. Labeling myself as a widow (hate that term) seems like playing sympathy card. I always mark the single box.
As far a the rest of your opinion, i don’t necessarily agree but understand. However let’s not forget the men that are just plain assholes and play the field or alcoholics or just plain losers... you still blame the women?
@Mickey9999 Absolutely I blame the women. Men are who they are. Look, the guy was an asshole when she met him, was an asshole when they started dating, was an asshole when she fucked him, an asshole when she decided to get pregnant with his child... than, all of a sudden she realizes, "he's an asshole"!! #Badjudgement, #Nosympathy.
Men are just as able to fake and pose as much as women. They deserve equal blame.
You sound like you just dislike women in general. Your writing reeks of hate , blame and bias. Divorces are extremely common nowadays. Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. They can’t all be crazy right?
@Mickey9999 Not true. Men rarely "pose" beyond a couple of dates or the first couple of times having sex. Women are responsible for choosing who's sperm makes it to the end zone and we have epidemic levels of women choosing badly than wondering why they end up alone.
@nelly83 The problem is women have wildly unrealistic expectations from men in general. I don't say that lightly. Women not only expect to have a Disney Prince as their man they expect to be treated like a princess. The bad judgement of women followed by insane expectations women have of men are at the core of the problem.
@KrakenAttackin,
I think all the guys on here have unrealistic expectations of women too. They want an 18 yr old, hot, pretty, huge tits, slim waist, big ass, housewives. In reality, most men marry very plain average women without any of that.
Me personally at my age i'm thinking
- Don't want to be part of your bad decisions
- Not ready to be a 'dad' of any sort
- Not wanting to be tied down
- I kinda like my free time and money
Once you get older more
- Messy divorce; not something i wanna get involved with
Wow! Some pinks shame us for not wanting to date single mothers. They be really mad.
Anyhow. Your best bet is dating single/divorced/widowed fathers or cuckolds. Yeah, they're not that many as we bachelor/childless men but they are pretty much the only ones in your dating scopes. We're not going to resume someone else's mistake.
As a child of a single mother the less commitment the better he has to ease his way in not making any promises not buying gifts. The more time spent bonding with him and your kids the closer they will be but there has to be 0 pressure to get along. He may not ever be able to be a father depending on your kids age but a father figure/older brother.
Well I sure as hell don’t want to date a man with kids if I wanted some I’d have one but I don’t for a reason. If I ever did I’d expect a guy to be committed... but how you know you didn’t pick a trash guy is even if you don’t work out He’s Still There For His Kids. Stop looking for a father for your kids and look for someone that likes you in general. Stop bringing random men around your children though. You’ll know if you found someone genuine over time.
Just stop trying to get people that aren't in to someone like you.
Be honest and straightforward about that you are single parent and how many, especially if it's more than 1 since some can't handle more than a certain amount, or any in general. you also have those that are aware of that they aren't good for children.
Here is another thing that I've seen happen. Date a single mom, and lo and behold soon you have your own kid. Told a few friends this. Guess what, 2 years later she's pregnant. It's fine if the guy actually is ready, tired of playing the dating game and just wants to settle down. But if he is not ready and she pulls the Hey that's my kid card. Then it slowly unravels. Seen it a enough times to call it a thing.
being a single mom is like wearing a giant banner that says "I make bad decisions when it comes to men"
why would I want to get involved with that? Single mothers should ideally seek single fathers, and if not, at least don't complain about why guys are not stoked on this. The kids aren't of his DNA, you banged some asshole, he splooged his load in ya, and now I have to clean up the mess?
fuck THAT.
I'm not hating on anyone. I'd like to think of myself as conducting research into a social and societal views on single moms and why men say Nope. And I'm gathering a lot of valuable data and insight. Thank you for your contribution, however angsty.
I didn't say you were hatin on anybody, I said you were complaining, your listing all the reasons why you think you are entitled to something which you are not entitled to and then saying "but they won't even give me a chance, why?"
I can tell you now a ton of white men are like this. They will ghost you after learning you are a single mother. With all due respect, It’s best you find a good black (or Hispanic) man. They are 98% more likely and willing to accept you and your beautiful child (ren).
By not given a chance does that mean no dates? I have dated and been in relationships with single mothers. It wasn’t the kids that I was evaluating, it was her to see if we connected and could build a relationship.
Four years and not one date. I don't mind being single. But I know the toll it is having on my kids.
Sorry to hear that. Like I said for me and I know other guys just because someone has kids that’s not a red flag and especially as people age kids become more of a possibility. Guess the best advice is keep trying, ask your friends to set you up with friends of friends and be open to guys that approach you.