I feel like you could get in your mind that you don't need a relationship in an attempt to soothe yourself but, deep inside, I'm sure most people would still have that need of being with someone so suppressing it by telling yourself you're just fine as a single person is not a solution. Remember one thing in life : it's never too late, it's not over until you're dead, there is always hope, even if it's sometimes hard to find.
As I've said to several others here, sadly I've reached the point where I'm not even trying to find a relationship anymore. As it feels... futile.
The effort I put in getting to know someone, develop feelings for him, show him I care, only for it to be unrequited or him to lose interest? NO. I'm tired. So tired of being disappointed.
Whereas now I'm learning to be happy with myself and focus on me, something I've rarely done in the past.
Hmm, I don't know. I know that's an odd response but I'm conflicted.
Yes, part of me would love a relationship. Yet part of me has been single for so long, I'm not sure I want to give up my independence.
Believe it or not, I've tried pursing guys. As I was telling someone else in another reply, last year I asked out and tried to date a guy that at one point was pursing me! As soon as I asked him out, he rejected me š He said he didn't want to risk losing a friend and girlfriend if things went bad. Yet he was originally pursing ME!
That's my luck. Before him pretty much the same thing: guys like me as a friend but not a girlfriend. Or they ghost me when I start to like them... it's VERY rare for a guy I like to reciprocate my feelings.
Have you asked them why they didn't want things to go further with you?
You know, I feel that you are just as your name suggests, kind of cynical about it : you wish it would happen but you kind of lost hope. I'm not sure if I'm right but that's the feeling I get.
I have actually. They either did not see me in that way (no attraction).
Or as the last guy that rejected me, he didn't want to date me for fear of losing the friendship if things failed- which honestly I think was a copeout, but whatever. I dropped it.
I do agree you with on my name: I am quite cynical and bitter when it comes to relationship. I wasn't always that way. But being hurt and rejected during my late teens through 20s just broke me.
I can't imagine having 10 years long no one, despite I didn't feel lonely in my two year long single time. There is always someone somewhere who show interest, just approach the person let it escalate and you're in relationship. Basically everyone wears emotional baggage from the past, but don't take it as burden, take it as experience. Even if I don't have problems to start a relationship I have much problems to remain happy in one. Relationship isn't like 30 minutes talk with a customer where I'm pissed inside but can pretend being happy just for the sake of courtesy. Hence it's possible that I'll die as lonely man, because the personal magic disappears one day and other people tend generally to think in a negative way about others if they aren't attractive anymore. The only way is to find someone who is willing to be part of you before this happens and this is very difficult in a world obsessed with hedonistic pursuit and general objectification of everyone.
People idealize your personality if you're attractive enough for them. That's why both sexes follow in some extent double strategy in matter of relationship, short and intense relationship with someone who has some options in matter of finding new partners and longer relationships with people who seem to be more reliable in matter of emotional or materiel support. I suppose a person with noticeable autism has only a chance for a relationship with someone if the person belongs to the first category.
@NatalieKeller95 No, I know some autistic persons and they do have a partner. For example, Albert Einstein was an autistic person and guess what? He was not single, he was married happily with a scientist.
In my case I am getting TOO comfortable being single and feel like being with someone is too much work and trouble and not worth the effort. I am comfortable the way things are but maybe someday I may love someone more than my peaceful freedom. One thing that is really annoying is when people start pointing fingers and claiming you're weird because you prefer single life.
Ugh, I know exactly how you feel! I get weird looks when I tell people how happy I am single. Yet they keep reminding me how great marriage or relationships are. I think some people forget how hard it is finding the right person and expect it to come easy for everyone :|
Pros, you can focus in yourself and keep your money, time, etc. to yourself.
Cons: you start to not care about dating anymore. You lose the flirting touch, and slowly dont even want that connection, even if you miss it sometimes; simply because you've been on your own for so long.
But of course this is all based on my own experience so I can't speak for everyone.
You're very right! I'm at that point where I don't even want to bother dating anymore because I've been alone so long. It's like, "Why bother?" Even my friends don't ask about me dating anymore because they're used to me being alone
I'm an avid reader of Philosophy books and I once read where a famous Philosopher (I can't remember which one) said, "As you become more sophisticated you will tend to walk this life alone." Or something to that effect. Maybe you're a sophisticated person?
All I know is I've been stabbed in the back so many times i quit dating. I do miss it but I dont miss people, the constant looking over my shoulder, constantly wondering what I'm doing wrong and always upset because they want to spend more money than I can bring in, and if they can't they sleep with someone then blame it on you.
Being single is better for that reason... rather be single than do that again lol.
@David92506 Interesting. If you can recall that philosopher's name, please share it! I would love to look into that more~
As for me being sophisticated? I do not believe I am. I think I am just wary of trusting others unless they prove to me they are worth my time and effort (not just relationships, but friendships as well). I will say this much: walking alone does make you a stronger, more independent individual.
@I_Am_Sazerac Here, here! And I think that's another reason it's difficult for good people to find relationships, or even wary to want to enter one again. After you've been hurt or disappointed by others so much, you start to wonder is it even worth it, or is it better to be single and not have to deal with that nonsense.
It had been almost 20 years since I last flirted before I started doing it last fall and I quickly discovered I still had it, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.
I have my faults, not perfect. But it doesn't excuse being cheated on. Honestly, people suck. Love may exist but it doesn't exist for me.
Just enjoy life. And if your sexual needs get the best of you, just find a mutual agreement and go your own way. I refrain from that too because I dont do that for just anyone anymore. Its meaningless to me.
@Avicenna The last time I tried flirting with a guy (half a year ago) it had no effect at all! Either I am very rusty or he just was not interested in me. Definitely was demoralizing to say the least! Flirting is one of those things I need to work on
@I_Am_Sazerac Don't get me started on cheaters! I too have been cheated on and I can say it definitely leaves you bitter and wary of opening up to anyone else.
And like yourself, I rather not sleep around and do one night stands or friends with benefits. I only sleep with someone I am in a relationship with. And if that means no sex for a long time, so be it! Beats having my emotions played with.
I've never been married, and I haven't had a steady girlfriend in over 4 years. Dating is a bit harder in middle age due to a few different things. I'm fairly content being without a mate but I am definitely open to it if the right woman comes along for sure. In the mean time it is cool not having to co-ordinate your life with someone else's... LOL
It's definitely been hard for me. Pros. I interact with other people again start living to better my own flaws and truly learn myself. Cons. I'm like a boy again I get nervous tongue tied a bit insecure. And the loneliness is devastating I can only take it day by day. If it happens it happens. Because if I try to make it work again. just to be feed to wolves after 10 years in pretty sure is snap and be put on asylum somewhere
Become cold and angry. You have plenty time with yourself to learn and work to better your flaws. Also insecure nervous just like a boy again exspesally after 10 years
You stop caring. At first, you only stop caring about going out of your way to find someone. Eventually you might likely stop caring about yourself or other aspects of your life entirely.
You forget what love feels like. You forget wbat a lot of things feel like and it becomes a bit difficult to get back in a relationship because you don't know if what you're doing is normal, right, wrong, or what.
That's me right now. I've been to focused on my businesses and finally getting back into it, I found that I'm not as emotionally present even though I want something romantic.
@anon1903 "We think to much, we feel to less." Charlie Chaplin was right! She feels to less about disadvantages and thinks to much about advantages of being alone.
Well, in my case, I think I've just become more and more awkward and shy. It's a vicious cycle, because those traits serve to keep me from talking to girls. I'm 33 now, so that means it's been at least 20 years, you know? I think I can safely say that I am terrified of women at this point. If a female came on to me, I would legit run away. (As a matter of fact, this has actually happened to me IRL before. I have been in situations where I'm walking down the sidewalk and a girl comes up behind me and I walk faster just to get away from her. No joke.)
Lol, oh no! Why are you afraid of females? Is it interacting with us, or something else? Would you be comfortable having a female as a platonic friend?
I think it's mainly because I was rejected at a young age. So that rejection affected my self-esteem and it stayed with me even after I got cooler and hotter lol. So I can fit in with pretty much any group of guys, but I avoid women like the plague. But yeah, I can be friends with a girl platonically; I don't have a problem with that.
@Jamie05rhs I was rejected at young age, too, even considered gay but I was almost introverted and had difficulties in talking to girls about forming a love-relationship with them. I'm truly hetero, so the rejection was not okay.
But you know what? I give a damn shit on that! ;-) Sorry, for harsh words, I just revolted against it, including against my asexual parents.
Well? If youāre single then thereās no way you can get cheated on and/or eventually replaced by someone else (again). Thatās definitely a pro!
Iāve had 3 relationships. The first two guys both cheated on me and eventually replaced me with someone else. The last guy I was with was practically everything I could ask for and never gave me any problems, but he eventually decided to leave me too. Clearly Iām not worth the lifelong commitment so I donāt see the point in letting someone get that close to me again if Iāll end up getting hurt every time. Iāve been single for about 3 years now. Do I like it? No, but at least I donāt have to worry about my next heartbreak. I do feel lonely a lot and wish I had someone that would actually love me, but I donāt think Iām relationship material and Iād rather be lonely than get played with every relationship Iām stupid enough to get into 🤷🏻āāļø
Being single is awesome, I have had enough time to heal from the past. What is ok with me may not be ok with someone else if they are feeling loneliness.
Nobody asks about my status they assume I'm a dad and in long term relationship. If it happens it happens if I have to wait I don't care. I do dating and I take the opportunity when it's there. The outcome of staying single is really up to you as everybody can find someone it's just down to a few things where , when, how or I am happy the way it is.
Well, the truth is the older you get the more difficult it becomes - you're on the downward slope, now having to compete with much younger women in the dating pool. But forty it's nearly impossible, for a lot of reasons.
So it's good to be happy with yourself, independent. You may well live the rest of your life alone. But if you keep focused on what's really important for YOU, and work toward your life goals and aspirations, it's not unheard of for someone special to walk into your life when you least expect it. And you won't be needy and desperate, so you'll be in a much better place to develop something meaningful.
Well for a guy the longer you stay single theless in demand it appears you are (why would you be single otherwise women think) and thats a critical point of attractiveness for women. Other women have to want you for them to want you. I was talking to this one woman. And she gave me her number, i didn't ask for it she just flat out gave it to me so i know she was interested. Then amidst the conversation she read my bio and it said the longest relationship i had was was one year. When i tried explained i'd been single for the past 15 years and tried to explain how and why, she couldn't end the conversation fast enough. I wad still the same person, i wasn't hiding anything lying about anything, but just like that i lost all my appeal. Lol ::::shrugs:::::
That may not be because she felt you weren't 'in demand.' She may have interpreted it as you not wanting to be in relationships, and that desire to be with others is an important marker to someone interested in a relationship with them. People want to know that the other person is willing to compromise and sacrifice some things in order to be with others. However, not being with people doesn't mean there is no desire, nor that no one else was interested in them. Anyone who simply concludes that is not looking at things deeply enough.
What happened to me when I started dating a woman who I really liked was realized I picked up a few bad habits being single. Small things like eating sunflower seeds in the car and have shells everywhere. Having a beer on a Saturday or Sunday morning. That stuff I mean , not to sound disrespectful but I will. Going on dates with certain girls, I was able to go through the motions just doing basic simple things and they still liked the heck out of me. After the first 10 minutes I knew they dated or married not good guys so it was easy to impress. Then I met someone who has their stuff together and I had to bring my A game all the time to impress her. The cool thing is, the things I had to improve on was just things that would make me a better person. she's impressed because I I have improved as a person. Nothing major just things my cats or dog can't notice.
The cons are depression, loneliness and the fact that you can't remember how to meet people anymore.
Though this sounds bad and it is. I am pretty content with single life. I spend less money single than with a partner and I have no arguments with anyone ever.
I've been single and celibate for 7 years and would find it difficult to live with a girl again unless she was awesome enough to sacrifice my privacy for. If your SO doesn't make you a better person or improve your life they are just in the way
She is your girlfriend/wife, sure you loose some privacy. At least I poo alone but else? Everything that helps improving our intimacy with each other is good.
Iām 21 & have never been in a relationship. I never wanted to be bc I enjoy my autonomy. Iām somewhat feeling like I probably shouldnāt have gone so long bc now more than ever I crave genuine companionship, love, & intimacy but I donāt want to rush anything & end up breaking my own heart.
That's smart just take it easy and go with the flow cause if you go to fast you can crash and burn like I have some days I still just want to crawl outta bed and start a homicidal binge.
I honestly want to find someone and enjoy a family with them... As time ticks by so does the efficiency of our bodies. But it's also about being young enough to still enjoy each other I worry about that too...
My penis is still getting hard-erected, she can count herself lucky. :-) Wanna know how? Eat natural Viagra, like pomegranate, banana, garlic, onions and such. It REALLY worked!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
116Opinion
I feel like you could get in your mind that you don't need a relationship in an attempt to soothe yourself but, deep inside, I'm sure most people would still have that need of being with someone so suppressing it by telling yourself you're just fine as a single person is not a solution. Remember one thing in life : it's never too late, it's not over until you're dead, there is always hope, even if it's sometimes hard to find.
As I've said to several others here, sadly I've reached the point where I'm not even trying to find a relationship anymore. As it feels... futile.
The effort I put in getting to know someone, develop feelings for him, show him I care, only for it to be unrequited or him to lose interest? NO. I'm tired. So tired of being disappointed.
Whereas now I'm learning to be happy with myself and focus on me, something I've rarely done in the past.
Do you wish you could be in a relationship? What happens most of the times when you try to find a partner?
Hmm, I don't know. I know that's an odd response but I'm conflicted.
Yes, part of me would love a relationship. Yet part of me has been single for so long, I'm not sure I want to give up my independence.
Believe it or not, I've tried pursing guys. As I was telling someone else in another reply, last year I asked out and tried to date a guy that at one point was pursing me!
As soon as I asked him out, he rejected me š
He said he didn't want to risk losing a friend and girlfriend if things went bad. Yet he was originally pursing ME!
That's my luck. Before him pretty much the same thing: guys like me as a friend but not a girlfriend. Or they ghost me when I start to like them... it's VERY rare for a guy I like to reciprocate my feelings.
Have you asked them why they didn't want things to go further with you?
You know, I feel that you are just as your name suggests, kind of cynical about it : you wish it would happen but you kind of lost hope. I'm not sure if I'm right but that's the feeling I get.
I have actually. They either did not see me in that way (no attraction).
Or as the last guy that rejected me, he didn't want to date me for fear of losing the friendship if things failed- which honestly I think was a copeout, but whatever. I dropped it.
I do agree you with on my name: I am quite cynical and bitter when it comes to relationship. I wasn't always that way. But being hurt and rejected during my late teens through 20s just broke me.
I understand but remember, there is always a chance and it's never over until you're between 4 planks. There is always hope.
I can't imagine having 10 years long no one, despite I didn't feel lonely in my two year long single time.
There is always someone somewhere who show interest, just approach the person let it escalate and you're in relationship.
Basically everyone wears emotional baggage from the past, but don't take it as burden, take it as experience.
Even if I don't have problems to start a relationship I have much problems to remain happy in one. Relationship isn't like 30 minutes talk with a customer where I'm pissed inside but can pretend being happy just for the sake of courtesy. Hence it's possible that I'll die as lonely man, because the personal magic disappears one day and other people tend generally to think in a negative way about others if they aren't attractive anymore. The only way is to find someone who is willing to be part of you before this happens and this is very difficult in a world obsessed with hedonistic pursuit and general objectification of everyone.
but if you have undesirable conditions like autism there is no chance, being single all their life is expected of them
People idealize your personality if you're attractive enough for them. That's why both sexes follow in some extent double strategy in matter of relationship, short and intense relationship with someone who has some options in matter of finding new partners and longer relationships with people who seem to be more reliable in matter of emotional or materiel support. I suppose a person with noticeable autism has only a chance for a relationship with someone if the person belongs to the first category.
usually autists are a 3/10 though
@NatalieKeller95 No, I know some autistic persons and they do have a partner. For example, Albert Einstein was an autistic person and guess what? He was not single, he was married happily with a scientist.
@roland77 ok but was he anything higher than 5/10 though?
@NatalieKeller95 Do you mean Lilliputian people with 5/10? They do have relationships. I see them almost daily here in Krefeld.
@roland77 I mean't lookwise
In my case I am getting TOO comfortable being single and feel like being with someone is too much work and trouble and not worth the effort.
I am comfortable the way things are but maybe someday I may love someone more than my peaceful freedom.
One thing that is really annoying is when people start pointing fingers and claiming you're weird because you prefer single life.
Ugh, I know exactly how you feel! I get weird looks when I tell people how happy I am single. Yet they keep reminding me how great marriage or relationships are. I think some people forget how hard it is finding the right person and expect it to come easy for everyone :|
Pros, you can focus in yourself and keep your money, time, etc. to yourself.
Cons: you start to not care about dating anymore. You lose the flirting touch, and slowly dont even want that connection, even if you miss it sometimes; simply because you've been on your own for so long.
But of course this is all based on my own experience so I can't speak for everyone.
You're very right! I'm at that point where I don't even want to bother dating anymore because I've been alone so long. It's like, "Why bother?" Even my friends don't ask about me dating anymore because they're used to me being alone
I'm an avid reader of Philosophy books and I once read where a famous Philosopher (I can't remember which one) said, "As you become more sophisticated you will tend to walk this life alone." Or something to that effect. Maybe you're a sophisticated person?
All I know is I've been stabbed in the back so many times i quit dating. I do miss it but I dont miss people, the constant looking over my shoulder, constantly wondering what I'm doing wrong and always upset because they want to spend more money than I can bring in, and if they can't they sleep with someone then blame it on you.
Being single is better for that reason... rather be single than do that again lol.
@David92506 Interesting. If you can recall that philosopher's name, please share it! I would love to look into that more~
As for me being sophisticated? I do not believe I am. I think I am just wary of trusting others unless they prove to me they are worth my time and effort (not just relationships, but friendships as well). I will say this much: walking alone does make you a stronger, more independent individual.
OP may be sophisticated, she sounds like she has it all figured out though!
@I_Am_Sazerac Here, here! And I think that's another reason it's difficult for good people to find relationships, or even wary to want to enter one again. After you've been hurt or disappointed by others so much, you start to wonder is it even worth it, or is it better to be single and not have to deal with that nonsense.
Gosh, you guys are so sweet~
I assure you, I am far from sophisticated. I'm just me: a woman speaking her mind and looking for answers :)
It had been almost 20 years since I last flirted before I started doing it last fall and I quickly discovered I still had it, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.
I have my faults, not perfect. But it doesn't excuse being cheated on. Honestly, people suck. Love may exist but it doesn't exist for me.
Just enjoy life. And if your sexual needs get the best of you, just find a mutual agreement and go your own way. I refrain from that too because I dont do that for just anyone anymore. Its meaningless to me.
Also, you are more at peace with it than I am š. So you're more sophisticated than I lol.
@Avicenna The last time I tried flirting with a guy (half a year ago) it had no effect at all! Either I am very rusty or he just was not interested in me. Definitely was demoralizing to say the least! Flirting is one of those things I need to work on
@I_Am_Sazerac Don't get me started on cheaters! I too have been cheated on and I can say it definitely leaves you bitter and wary of opening up to anyone else.
And like yourself, I rather not sleep around and do one night stands or friends with benefits. I only sleep with someone I am in a relationship with. And if that means no sex for a long time, so be it! Beats having my emotions played with.
@Cynicaldreamer: I wish I could coach you on that.
Basically, you want to be very friendly (so he gets that you're flirting), but also confident, like you know he's going to like you.
Lol I can get you started on plenty. All in all, people suck š
I've never been married, and I haven't had a steady girlfriend in over 4 years. Dating is a bit harder in middle age due to a few different things. I'm fairly content being without a mate but I am definitely open to it if the right woman comes along for sure. In the mean time it is cool not having to co-ordinate your life with someone else's... LOL
Sure, if she lives against you and not with you. Then living alone is good, still I miss the hugs, kisses and so on.
It's definitely been hard for me. Pros. I interact with other people again start living to better my own flaws and truly learn myself. Cons. I'm like a boy again I get nervous tongue tied a bit insecure. And the loneliness is devastating I can only take it day by day. If it happens it happens. Because if I try to make it work again. just to be feed to wolves after 10 years in pretty sure is snap and be put on asylum somewhere
Become cold and angry. You have plenty time with yourself to learn and work to better your flaws. Also insecure nervous just like a boy again exspesally after 10 years
You stop caring. At first, you only stop caring about going out of your way to find someone. Eventually you might likely stop caring about yourself or other aspects of your life entirely.
Ouch. Yeah I'm pretty much at that point š
I went from actively trying to date, flirt, even asking out guys to just... giving up. Terrible, but I'm at the "why bother?" point
You forget what love feels like. You forget wbat a lot of things feel like and it becomes a bit difficult to get back in a relationship because you don't know if what you're doing is normal, right, wrong, or what.
That's me right now. I've been to focused on my businesses and finally getting back into it, I found that I'm not as emotionally present even though I want something romantic.
It's a weird feeling.
You get romantically starved and if it's really unusual for you, you jump at the first thing that can get you outta this loneliness.
š I must be past that stage because I don't even recall what romance feels like anymore!
@anon1903 "We think to much, we feel to less." Charlie Chaplin was right! She feels to less about disadvantages and thinks to much about advantages of being alone.
Well, in my case, I think I've just become more and more awkward and shy. It's a vicious cycle, because those traits serve to keep me from talking to girls. I'm 33 now, so that means it's been at least 20 years, you know? I think I can safely say that I am terrified of women at this point. If a female came on to me, I would legit run away. (As a matter of fact, this has actually happened to me IRL before. I have been in situations where I'm walking down the sidewalk and a girl comes up behind me and I walk faster just to get away from her. No joke.)
Lol, oh no! Why are you afraid of females? Is it interacting with us, or something else? Would you be comfortable having a female as a platonic friend?
I think it's mainly because I was rejected at a young age. So that rejection affected my self-esteem and it stayed with me even after I got cooler and hotter lol. So I can fit in with pretty much any group of guys, but I avoid women like the plague. But yeah, I can be friends with a girl platonically; I don't have a problem with that.
that sucks
@robocop666 Thanks
@Jamie05rhs I was rejected at young age, too, even considered gay but I was almost introverted and had difficulties in talking to girls about forming a love-relationship with them. I'm truly hetero, so the rejection was not okay.
But you know what? I give a damn shit on that! ;-) Sorry, for harsh words, I just revolted against it, including against my asexual parents.
@roland77 Thanks for sharing, brother. Can you tell me more about your asexual parents?
Well? If youāre single then thereās no way you can get cheated on and/or eventually replaced by someone else (again). Thatās definitely a pro!
Iāve had 3 relationships. The first two guys both cheated on me and eventually replaced me with someone else. The last guy I was with was practically everything I could ask for and never gave me any problems, but he eventually decided to leave me too. Clearly Iām not worth the lifelong commitment so I donāt see the point in letting someone get that close to me again if Iāll end up getting hurt every time. Iāve been single for about 3 years now. Do I like it? No, but at least I donāt have to worry about my next heartbreak. I do feel lonely a lot and wish I had someone that would actually love me, but I donāt think Iām relationship material and Iād rather be lonely than get played with every relationship Iām stupid enough to get into 🤷🏻āāļø
Being single is awesome, I have had enough time to heal from the past. What is ok with me may not be ok with someone else if they are feeling loneliness.
Nobody asks about my status they assume I'm a dad and in long term relationship. If it happens it happens if I have to wait I don't care. I do dating and I take the opportunity when it's there. The outcome of staying single is really up to you as everybody can find someone it's just down to a few things where , when, how or I am happy the way it is.
Well, the truth is the older you get the more difficult it becomes - you're on the downward slope, now having to compete with much younger women in the dating pool.
But forty it's nearly impossible, for a lot of reasons.
So it's good to be happy with yourself, independent. You may well live the rest of your life alone. But if you keep focused on what's really important for YOU, and work toward your life goals and aspirations, it's not unheard of for someone special to walk into your life when you least expect it. And you won't be needy and desperate, so you'll be in a much better place to develop something meaningful.
In the meantime, just do what you do for YOU.
Well for a guy the longer you stay single theless in demand it appears you are (why would you be single otherwise women think) and thats a critical point of attractiveness for women. Other women have to want you for them to want you.
I was talking to this one woman. And she gave me her number, i didn't ask for it she just flat out gave it to me so i know she was interested. Then amidst the conversation she read my bio and it said the longest relationship i had was was one year. When i tried explained i'd been single for the past 15 years and tried to explain how and why, she couldn't end the conversation fast enough. I wad still the same person, i wasn't hiding anything lying about anything, but just like that i lost all my appeal. Lol ::::shrugs:::::
She's an idiot that gave you her number before she read your bio. That's not a reflection of your in-demandedness.
That may not be because she felt you weren't 'in demand.' She may have interpreted it as you not wanting to be in relationships, and that desire to be with others is an important marker to someone interested in a relationship with them. People want to know that the other person is willing to compromise and sacrifice some things in order to be with others. However, not being with people doesn't mean there is no desire, nor that no one else was interested in them. Anyone who simply concludes that is not looking at things deeply enough.
I'm 26 and still single.
Some perks are:
1. I have a lot of free time.
2. I have extra money to save or do with it how I wish.
3. I have the opportunity to take risks associated with starting my own business without the consequences of doing so when married with a family.
Now some cons:
1. I have a lot of free time.
2. Sometimes I crave a wife to be romantic with, to be intimate with, to converse with, and to hold and cuddle and love.
So that's probably my summary of some pros and cons that I have with being single.
What happened to me when I started dating a woman who I really liked was realized I picked up a few bad habits being single. Small things like eating sunflower seeds in the car and have shells everywhere. Having a beer on a Saturday or Sunday morning. That stuff
I mean , not to sound disrespectful but I will. Going on dates with certain girls, I was able to go through the motions just doing basic simple things and they still liked the heck out of me. After the first 10 minutes I knew they dated or married not good guys so it was easy to impress.
Then I met someone who has their stuff together and I had to bring my A game all the time to impress her. The cool thing is, the things I had to improve on was just things that would make me a better person. she's impressed because I I have improved as a person. Nothing major just things my cats or dog can't notice.
I've been single for five years.
The cons are depression, loneliness and the fact that you can't remember how to meet people anymore.
Though this sounds bad and it is. I am pretty content with single life. I spend less money single than with a partner and I have no arguments with anyone ever.
I'm not happy being alone, nobody around to have good argues with.
I've been single and celibate for 7 years and would find it difficult to live with a girl again unless she was awesome enough to sacrifice my privacy for. If your SO doesn't make you a better person or improve your life they are just in the way
What kind of privacy are referring to been specific with your statement
Is that pic really u?
@Mitchelljames well you lose a lot of personal time to what is usually nagging/bitching from the SO
I agree!!! I've been on my own and never had a roommate. So the thought of sharing my space and privacy with another person bothers me a little.
I think that's a minor con to being single too long: you're so used to being alone, you're hesitant to share your privacy and space with others.
She is your girlfriend/wife, sure you loose some privacy. At least I poo alone but else? Everything that helps improving our intimacy with each other is good.
Iām 21 & have never been in a relationship. I never wanted to be bc I enjoy my autonomy. Iām somewhat feeling like I probably shouldnāt have gone so long bc now more than ever I crave genuine companionship, love, & intimacy but I donāt want to rush anything & end up breaking my own heart.
That's smart just take it easy and go with the flow cause if you go to fast you can crash and burn like I have some days I still just want to crawl outta bed and start a homicidal binge.
But we can't do that
I honestly want to find someone and enjoy a family with them... As time ticks by so does the efficiency of our bodies. But it's also about being young enough to still enjoy each other I worry about that too...
My penis is still getting hard-erected, she can count herself lucky. :-) Wanna know how? Eat natural Viagra, like pomegranate, banana, garlic, onions and such. It REALLY worked!
@roland77 interesting I'll keep that in mind
Add spinach and kale to that list as well