Did his depression make him push me away or was it because of me and will he come ever back?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy for 8 months, we always said nothing serious but we’ll see how things go, we both didn’t want to sleep with other people. 5 months in I told him I had feelings for him I was prepared for him to end it, he’s ended with nearly every girl since his last relationship if they caught feelings so he wouldn’t lead them on but then a couple of days after he said he felt the same and I make him really happy, he really likes me and he feels really lucky. He’s always complimented me. We become a lot more like a couple, started to plan dates which he previously said we shouldn’t so he wouldn’t lead me on. He’s been off work for 3 months with anxiety & depression when he first went off he still saw me regularly, was quite social but he said I was the only thing making him happy. The last time I saw him 2 months ago everything was great. He said he was thinking of asking me to be his girlfriend the last time I stayed at his but he doesn’t think it’s the right time & it’s better to wait til he’s better so he can treat me right. He started on stronger meds the next day and he changed about 5 days after he was really negative about our relationship, he was really anxious and stopped going out. He kept trying to end things but I wouldn’t let him because I know how happy we were and how good things were but he kept contradicting everything. He ended up drunk messaging me NYD saying he wants to give this a go being together and I make him really happy then later he said he loved me and the last time he loved someone he got hurt so he was scared of his feelings & he apologised for everything he’d been saying. The next day he said he doesn’t know why he said all of that. He’s said he’s really insecure and he’s been hurt in the past. he's been positive/negative in this 2 months, he told his mum about me, said he loves me, wants to be with me then contradicts himself. We ended 2 weeks ago, i hope he realise we are good together and contacts me, I’m just waiting.

[sammayer43]

he's probably not gonna get better, you should take the reins and be the more assertive one in the relationship and if he backs out then move on, depression fucking blows but it sounds like he's aware that its affecting you and doesn't want to hurt anyone other than himself, do either force your wa ugh into his life until he accepts that you are apart of it or move on

[Asker]

I was just going to wait and see if he contacts me I’ve been trying to chase a bit and fight for it which now I kind of regret as i think it pushed him further. But I as so confused because he was having highs and lows about everything all the time I didn’t want to give up or him to think I don’t care. The best thing for me now is to just give him space and hopefully when he’s ready maybe he’ll come to me. I hope he will because things were really good with us. Towards the end he started to blame me and say I was acting stalkerish because I went round to check on him one day because I was really worried about him and I sent him a card rather then texting him just as a personal touch. He said he’s felt like this for months or weeks but he never mentioned anything he was only positive so I do think it is more the depression he just can’t see it because he’s going through a really difficult time and I appreciate that.

[dudeinohio]

Depression sucks.. it can take hold of you and screw your brain up. Likely, he needs to fight his demons alone. He may contact you when he's in a better state of mind.

[Avicenna]

It's almost certainly mostly, if not entirely, his depression causing this.

[outside_Toronto]

just move on

[Iron_Man]

Only time will tell