Why would a guy get with a girl he only sees as a friend knowing she has feelings for him?

Question

Why would you do this if you don’t want a commitment? Cause that’s pretty fucked up, to play with other people’s feelings.

LightEnd · Accepted Answer

From what I can tell he seems to be pretty honorable. First let me explain why a guy would do this.

Guys, especially in the 16-30 range have an overwhelming need for sexual intamacy.

Now when it comes to women, looks are important but there's a catch. I may do a poor job of explaining this but I think it is generally true. Sometimes we will see a woman and it will just set of this switch that makes us "adore" her. It may be certain things about her, her smile, the way she laughs, parts of her personality, her eyes. Etc. When this switch is flipped we think we are in love. This is usually when men who dont understand how to deal with women usually make huge mistakes. Like smothering you. Being to nice. Calling too much texting too much and generally caring to much. He cares so much it's actually a turn off for most women.

This switch that I am metaphorically describing is totally separate from how sexually attracted we are to you.

So it is entirely possible to be attracted to a woman but not have feelings for her.

a lot of men make the mistake of getting into relationships with women that they are not "in love" with because we learn pretty quickly that every girl we were too into, even if she was interested at first, became disinterested. On the contrary. Every girl we weren't that into, was really into us.
Eventually the relationship will fail because the guy is not in love with you, so when the newness of the sex wears off there is nothing to sustain the relationship.

Women usually make the mistake of running from the guys that really care, into the arms of the guys who dont.

I think he is honorable because he told you the truth, it may not be what you think you want but at least you know where he stands and you can make your own decision on which direction you want to take the relationship

I hope this answered your question.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like he just likes you as a friend and got with you just to please you cuz he knows how much you are into him , it’s a good thing you didn’t have sex with him because he would of just had sex with you to get off and really have no feelings that way for you , so when you made out with him who stopped first for it to go further? I was friends with this 1 girl that was head over heels for me , she tried every which way for me to like her the way she liked me. But I just wasn’t that into her , she wasn’t ugly just didn’t want to be with her , I told her I just liked her as a friend but she didn’t take the hint she kept coming on to me so one night I had a party and she kept coming onto me making flirty remarks so after I had a few drinks on me , to pretty much shut her up I took her to my room and fucked her , after that I told her I just wanted to be friends but she still didn’t take no for an answer so I ended up hooking up with another gir at a concert we all went to. Just so she would get jealous and leave me alone, sadly it worked

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

He may not be ready to date now or date you. He wants to take it slow if anything. It doesn't mean he is not interested in commitment. Some people need time. Dont be so quick to dismiss him. You may find out he always liked you and then it will be too late, he or you is with somebody else.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Sex. Pretty much just that, or they were using you anon.  Some people are inconsiderate asses and think that if you like them, they can use that in their favor to get what they want from you.

MrOracle · Answer

It's your job to look out for your own interests, just as it is for him.

Did he tell you what he was looking for up-front? Did you tell him what you were looking for up-front? Or did you just make an assumption?

razzamatazzp01 · Answer

I totally agree with you. Some men don't care about anybody's feelings except for their own. I have a co-worker that we used to have sex sometimes, but then she started acting really crazy. She never admitted to having any feelings for me, but I'm not stupid so I had to break it off with her. I still see her everyday, and she still tries to have sex

APEXGuerrilla · Answer

Cuz he's a dude. All men are dogs. Basically, he doesn't like you, and he wanted to do the right thing, but his male ie. Made to fuck as many females as humanly possible, brain would not allow him to. So, he still doesn't like you, and he wanted not to fuck you, but he had to fuck you. You are best off just accepting human nature and moving on to someone else. You probably have some great qualities, just work on those, and others will come for your cookies. :)

noxius · Answer

Maybe you could think of it like this?

If he knew but he did anyway, what kind of friend is that?

A friend who is willing to hurt you for something which means nothing to them but everything to you? Knowingly. That is not a friend.. that is someone yoy stay away from.

Thats my advice anyhow. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose!

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Did you make it clear that you expected a commitment? It all hinges upon that. If not, then how could he know that you expected it? If he did know and still did whatever he did that you found inappropriate, then you should not be friends with him because he is untrustworthy.

koolkal · Answer

Other than friends with benefits, I don't think most guys wouldn't get with a girl he only sees as friends. He doesn't see her in that way.
A good friend of mine, she asked if we could get together. It was an ackward request. To get out of it I told her she's more like a sister to me.

ask4any · Answer

Ok so you played around with him that's not to bad. I've got good news and bad news. The good news is a friendship is still salvageable. Bad news is... no one got laid! But in order to maintain a somewhat healthy friendship, it would have to be platonically based! And judging from what I've read that you wrote, neither of you are emotionally prepared for a friends with benefits situation. And the absolute best news is, in 100 years who's going to care?

Laozi · Answer

It's pretty simple. He don't like you as a girlfriend. But like you as a friend. So he wants you to be there. Whatever you had between you two is over now (at least for him). He moved on. May be you should too.

JustJen · Answer

Some guys most certainly would. Guess knowing she's got feelings for him is a huge boost to their ego, and they don't care about her getting hurt, or her getting hurt may even be a power trip to them.

Luwyd · Answer

Nah i would totally ignore him.. try not to be around him and move onnnn !

BradFlipK · Answer

For the same reason girls that "friend zone" their guy friends, then sleep with them. Girls seriously! You do that too

Anonymous · Answer

To use you, treat you as a pass time, boost their ego, or mabe just because theyre bored. I don't know, pretty sure not gonna hear anything good

barrelobagel · Answer

He wants sex. *Seinfeld outro* (no but seriously be careful some guys be like that though)

Lightning8 · Answer

I think part of the problem are the ideas that are highly susceptible to hedonism like sexual liberation.

Anonymous · Answer

You girls do the same. U would know someone likes you, and then u give a lot of attention to a lot of different other guys. Like if I liked a girl, I'd really be mainly talking to her

Rangers · Answer

Probably to give girls a taste of their own medicine.

plus99A · Answer

The way i have always heard it. has been we have to be friends before going out with each other. unles he is using her for pleasure. people normally stay friends with their ex lover.

fliera1942 · Answer

It's bad to let a guy know you like him right away , he might actually take advantage with you, or just get with the girl to see if he actually gets something out of it and ends up likeing her

Nahid1707 · Answer

Someone caught feelings 🤷‍♂️ How would the guy know?

SaraMae · Answer

Because he wants all the benefits of her being his girlfriend but without the commitment

Saifkhan0011 · Answer

These are life problems but you have to show the feelings

Jeca8 · Answer

To use her

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Sex.

Anonymous · Answer

Why not

Why would a guy get with a girl he only sees as a friend knowing she has feelings for him?

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