At this point it really hurts and I’m at the point of blocking him it’s not fair he handles everything by immediately breaking up with me and I know he was drinking last time and then he apologized. But he broke up with me again today for the 3rd time in a month over us disagreeing. I’m at the point of blocking him but didn’t know if that was immature.
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I didn’t expect this question to blow up and it’s kind of overwhelming thanks for the helpful replies I’ve blocked him on everything including his number.
Is it normal to break up with someone multiple times in a relationship?
This is a big big big red flag girl... Get tf out of this... Firstly, this type of behavior in a relationship does some interesting things emotionally and mentally to the person it is being done to (ie you), but the short version is this, the mental response is very much in line with being manipulated and the emotional ups and downs and the timing of when those ups and downs occur compounds the effect... Now whether he knows he is doing the following or he is oblivious is a different matter, I don't think he does (most of them are oblivious), but it doesn't matter, because this behavior does some things which are: Every time you do something he doesn't like he immediately reacts disproportionately negative towards you (in his case he holds the relationship hostage) subconsciously this is in the hope that you will change your mind and he will get what he wants, if it doesn't get you to go with his way, he goes to victim mentality (like he is hurt) and is very sorry, which engages empathy from you, a warm feeling, often a caring sensation which usually succeeds in making you question yourself which leads to an easier way for him to impose his way through giving direction, usually after a very over the top emotional "make up" speach from him in which he assures you how much he loves you, but especially how much he cares, while you are at an uncertain place and questioning yourself his love and caring seems so genuine and you follow that and so he is then a great guy again, until he wants his way again and you don't agree which leads to a conflict and the process starts all over again... In some cases this actually starts of slowly and ends up with actual beatings later on once the shock effect of the lesser stuff is no longer effective enough... It points to narcissism...
This is my based off of what I have seen in my life, and I am making assumptions, it might not be in your specific scenario the case,, but if this sounds familiar to you, beware girl...
I figured out decades ago that if you accept messy relationships or messy relationship rules, you are going to have a messy relationship.
I tell everyone I date that they are frée to leave at any time and while I will work hard to make them WANT to stay, I will never prevent them from leaving. But... the exit door is a one-way door, and once you walk through that door, there's no way back in.
This forces people to make sure they are really serious about leaving and prevents the "break up to make up" cycle that is toxic to relationships.
Hi there, I understand that being objective when you are in a relationship with someone maybe tricky but you have the answer to your question. If you reflect on what you already know, meaning the patter he has of running away from the reality and confronting his actions, his destructive behavior and the immaturity he shows. So now ask yourself if that's what you want in your relationship? Would you rather take him back to remain in the cycle you guys have already fallen into? Or would you rather suffer the feeling of loss and heartbreak for a few weeks and then move on, now having a better perspective on what type of relationship not to have? Look, I don't know you but looking at your age range I can tell you that you are better off finding out what you want in life and who you want to be rather hang being in a relationship that might of happened by coincidence. Don't be afraid of being alone... Work on yourself, go out with friends, take a class on something that you find interesting or exciting. Working in yourself and being authentic will allow you to see life differently and therefore people around you will be different... You will find someone worth of your love and time. Be the person you would love to be with... We are flawed but once we recognize our flaws and qualities then we can better ourselves. STOP HURTING YOURSELF IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
That is what we call dysfunctional and toxic. No it's not normal. I don't care what anybody else say, it is not good or healthy for anybody to be in that situation. That's something that a child would do when they want to pretend like you're an adult relationship and they're not even adults. You should not be dealing with all this crap. All of this nonsense you and him are doing is very immature. You shouldn't just block him, you should delete his contacts and get rid of everything about him because that relationship is over. And you tell him it's over.
I got a smoebody/something but this chick expects the world. won't work. Picked up dog shit first time yesterday. Its honestly over. I just have nobody and dont wanna sleep w everybody. So shell block me, unblock, hookup, block <50%time> then repeat. But she is so bad I can say no to sex esp since weve been w eachother.
How do you start raising a point with him, I'm not going to say a conversation because that's clearly not what you're doing.
Are you raising issues and blaming him or making him the fault for things.
If yes then I can understand why he's walking away and it's because you aren't being mature enough to have a conversation. A conversation is a two way thing not an I say you listen thing, it's a we have a problem how do we solve it.
If there are genuine issues between you then break up for good and go you separate ways but from what I understand your both as bad as each other and you both need to grow up a bit
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My mood changes easily and he knows that since I told him that in the beginning. Sometimes he’d say things to make me mad then says I was joking then blames me then it becomes all my fault and he wants to end it chances are he’s out at a bar drinking then he text me back saying sorry then or the next day. But I did communicate with him he didn’t like that I was vocal about things which is not my problem. I never blamed him.
3 times in a month? This dude obviously doesn't know how to communicate properly with you. I'd say do what's right for YOU. if you feel like you need to block him, then do it. he's being super petty and you blocking him signals him you mean business and you're not about the bullshit.
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Yea well this month just started so within January and now 3 times he’s broken up with me. I try to communicate with him when I do and he doesn’t like what I say he analyzes it then makes me feel bad then somehow it’s my fault and I have issues and he breaks up with me. Last time he blamed my depression so I don't know. Thanks I think I am going to
Sort of. Blocking in itself is instead of stand up and speak up to get rid of it. (people of today are week minded on this point and think ignorance solve everything) If I where you I would wish him good luck with someone else since this is toxic and I don't tolerate this manipulative behavior.
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Standing up to speak to someone who does this to me and constantly breaks up. Who’s getting the closure here? Wish him good luck yet he’s not really hurt I am I dong think so and yes he is manipulative I’m not playing his game anymore
It's not normal. He doesn't seem to value you much. If he did, he would do everything possible to talk things through, understand your points of view, and hang onto the relationship. Instead, it sounds like he is being manipulative to force you to accept his bullshit. He may be a narcissist, but he is more likely just immature and self centered.
That's not normal. It seems as if every time things get shaky he bails. Also, if you fight that often within a month, you probably don't need to be with him anyways. Find somebody who wants to work with you to resolve problems rather than just leave you high and dry. It's you two against the problem, not the problem causing you two to always fight... remember that.
Do you need someone to talk to? Our job here is to help that's what this site is here for. I was once in your shoes I know how it feels. He is acting like a boy not a real man. I know it hurts especially when you love. All us ladies what we really ask from our boyfriend is to love it so and kiss us but I guess it's to much for them. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. I was once in your shoes a few years ago , I am now in a situation to help you.
Going back to your ex is a massive negative. The way I look at it once we're done we're done. No going back we aren't kids anymore and that problem that broke it ip the first place will continue to haunt you two and maybe you can get back together but it won't be all roses and sunshine trust me
Dude obviously should not be in any sort of relationship if that's how he handles his business. The better question should be: why are you putting up with it?
Immaturity for sure. Lose him and be grateful. That’s not a partner that can’t handle disagreements. He has someone in mine in the wings or he’s trying to gain control or he just has a disillusioned view on a relationship.
I dont wanna make you feel bad but no multiple breakups is not normal. At ur age thou it happens. One break up seems reasonable the 2 of u could work it out once and be back together. But multiple is a sign that it is not working.
I'm not saying it can't work out sometimes, but you are made in the Image of God, and will always be worth much, much more than break-ups and back-togethers. Especially if there was drinking involved, it sounds like he may have trouble being a clear decision maker. That isn't good for anyone.
My friend's older brother dated a girl throughout high school and broke up multiple times, now they've been married for 6 years and have their own family. But I don't know anything about dating and don't know the true extent of your situation.
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I don’t think I’d be able to have a family with someone who leaves me constantly
Girl I would already had block his @ss. His the one immature and not ready to be a man. Specially breaking up over a little disagreement. Boy bye thank you, next.
No, that’s not just abnormal but also manipulative on his part
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Yea I’m pretty hurt by him doing this again then going without talking to me then it stresses me out waiting for him to text me back or not that’s why I was trying to see if it would be better to block him although I’ll still be upset
Sounds like Your best bet is to block him , pick up and move on ! Really, 3 times in a month, sounds like he's immature, and if he's constantly bombarding you with calls, texts etc.. hell yes block him, !
I think you should dump him you dont want to be with anybody that at the first sign of trouble there gonna bail out on you. You deserve better. You deserve a guy that's gonna fight to keep you. In box me if you need more advice
Maturity is the ability to see if the relationship you are is is beneficial to you both or just one side if he only can reach you by phone orsocall meada then you can cause him to fell what it is to not have you
He is not happy with you. Take a huatus of maybe 3 weeks from him. Then see how it works out. But if it is a stagnant relationship, the earlier you move on the better for you.
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I’ve done nothing to him and that’s not fair to me but I blocked him on everything including his number so he doesn’t have to worry about anything anymore
I dont think for everything breaking up should be the 1st thing he's thinking about it honestly would make me feel like he's not happy nd really wanna leave
And i dont want to be someone thats not happy and wanna leave like just go in relationship you will have disagreements u gotta deal with things the mature way if it ain't that serious why u wanna leave
Yeah... seems like a red flag. Maybe I'd try to maintain a friendship, but proceed with caution for anything romantic. I'd definitely take a short break for now.
The sad part is that he’s probably a great guy but has a few commitment issues. If he wants to get back with you and you decide to give him another shot then I suggest couples coinciding.
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I really liked him and I figured he has commitment issues and dealing with his mom being murdered 2 years ago. I’m tired of being pushed away over everything he can’t just talk it out I feel like I’m the issue. I let him go and blocked him on everything including his number
I care about him I guess which is why I did plus don’t really like being alone and he knows a lot since we’ve been dating for a little over a year. But I blocked him now and deleted his number
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