Is breaking up a completely normal relationship only because you might be seeking something else wrong?

[Anonymous]

I (F,22) have been in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend for three years and there have been many times where I've felt that I might be looking for something else in life. Not in a person but overall something else. I kept suppressing that emotion until I met a guy who is very similar to me and we share a lot of common interests and I started liking him. I do not intend to pursue a relationship with this guy but the fact that I could feel something of this sort for another guy made me feel terrible and guilty and I knew I had to break my relationship off before I could cause any hurt to my boyfriend.

Although I don't have a clear path or idea as to where I'm headed to, the feeling that I might regret it if I don't get out of the relationship to figure that out myself; and the fact that I cannot do justice to the relationship this way makes me feel like breaking up is the only option. It is confusing and scary but I know I have to do something about it. What would be the right thing to do?

[Interstate]

There is nothing wrong with telling your boyfriend that you need to put things between the two of you on hold because you have things to figure out. Sometimes that is needed so a partner can be sure their life is on track, and they have what they want. Just tell him it isn't necessarily anything permanent, just that you need time to figure things out. But at the same time, if you don't intend on pursuing anything with this guy, what is the point of even CONSIDERING leaving your boyfriend, unless you no longer care or love him.

It just sounds to me like you are confused. You are questioning what you want over what is merely POSSIBLE, not definite. But unless you don't care about your boyfriend anymore, why would you even THINK about breaking off something good?

[Asker]

Thank you for this. As hard as it is to accept, this is something I really needed to hear. I am confused and I know I might not be making the best decisions right now but he hasn't been taking this whole process of me figuring things out very well and it didn't feel right to be putting someone through all that just so I can figure what I want.

[Gomezaddam51]

Break up, not for you but for your boyfriend. If you feel that way, you are screwing over your boyfriend. I felt a lot like you but kept up the relationship and even married her. Biggest mistake of my life. We were both miserable and it became a loveless marriage and I finally divorced her. I screwed up her life and mine because I did not end it soon enough.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear this happened. Thank you for sharing it, I guess I do see it going there at some point if I don't act on it right away

[Petermorgan34]

I would maybe take a break with your boyfriend for a few weeks, to evaluate your feelings and come back and either continue, or break up

[williamHD]

If your not satisfied move on and find someone else. Simple as that but don’t cheat

[Yourfriend2021]

That's the problem in life, people are always looking for something better, so relationships fail because one person isn't happy. Try to find someone that does and hope it works out.

[pantsuhunter]

No, if you think you'll regret it then follow your heart

[Juxtapose]

You're very vague and appear to be breaking off a long relationship that has lasted over a thousand days over a whim.

[Pterodon]

No. We get into relationships to be happy. If you’re not then it isn’t the one for you

[Twalli]

I find other people besides my girlfriend attractive. I guess though the only difference is that I found them attractive before we were dating.

[Anonymous]

Another reminder of how I didn't date at all during your age

[Asker]

Can you explain why? I'd like to understand your perspective.

[Opinion Owner]

I was speaking of my resentment of how I didn't have a girlfriend at all in my teens or my early 20s, I've always been kind of the shy quiet type of guy and introverted, I always resented being the hunter but sadly that role placed upon guys shoulders will never go away

[Opinion Owner]

I always resented how guys are expected to ask the girl out or make the first move but sadly that role will never go away

[slatyb]

It's time to end it.

[KrakenAttackin]

This is called "hypergamy".

[Luckycharms12]

You aren't satisfied sexually