Guys, what do you think when you see girls who believe the man should be the one pursuing in the relationship?

[emmily2396]

You know what i mean, they expect you to put all the effort in initiating things, even after you 2 get comfortable to a degree.

I had a friend a few years ago who never initiated conversations with me or guys. So, it happened that guy didn't start the usual conversation for a few days and instead of going to talk to him, she unfriended him on social media.

I believe relationships shouldn't be about chasing. It should be about 50/50. Sure, everyone has some preference, so you may expect the other person to be better at you at something, but that still doesn't mean doing a thing they are good at becomes their responsibility. If they are more assertive you should still make an effort to initiate sometimes. If they are more nurturing you should still try to give them support when you can.

[Czaxi]

It all depends on where each individual person stands in the relationship. If someone is more submissive and shy, they may not initiate conversations and such that are necessary to keep a relationship healthy. If you are shy/submissive it's usually in your best interest to find someone who is outgoing/dominant who is willing and does initiate conversations and dates when you may be too shy to do so. Does this mean to entirely rely on the outgoing person in the relationship? No, you should still initiate sometimes but it's best to stick to your comfort zone most of the time. Having 2 people who are able to effortlessly switch between being dominant and submissive at any given time is also a good relationship dynamic.

[emmily2396]

Being shy doesn't have anything to do with giving in a relationship. You are shy until you get comfortable. And yes, introverted people may not need communication as often, but still... If you can't initiate at least 1/3 time you are selfish, not introverted or shy. Read the example I gave above. That girl never initiated anything but gets upset if someone doesn't give her attention...

[Czaxi]

Anxiety is not something to he scoffed at you know. There are quite a few people that get support animals just because their social anxiety is quite literally crippling. When I say shy, I mean they may have legitimate anxiety disorders and feel they aren't good enough 99% of the time. Of course there are plenty of people that aren't like that and are just lazy. A good relationship dynamic does have to include participation by both parties, but it's not uncommon for someone who's in the dominant position in the relationship to initiate most things. Your friend you're talking about could just be lazy and not care, but I don't doubt that she could definitely have some sort of underlying anxiety disorder.

[emmily2396]

No, just no. I am a shy person, but being shy happens with people you don't know well. There is a point when you stop being shy. She just has a princess conplex

[emmily2396]

Being dominant is not just about taking more action, but being ferm on your terms, wanting to have the most power. You don't exhibit power by taking some action...

[Czaxi]

If that's what you believe then I'm not gonna continue to argue with her. If she has a princess complex then there's was something in her life that caused it, most likely it was anxiety.

[Anonymous]

For romantic realationship, fine. Some women like to be chased.

But they should also remeber that if a guy has to chase you all your life, he would get tired pretty quickly.

But people who do this in any other relationship, in friendship, relatives etc, are the kind of people I avoid like plague. They keep tabs on how many times you texted/called and how many times they did. Who came to visit last. Who didn't. Its so annoying.

The only acceptable way to use this is to judge if you are annoying someone who dont wanna be contacted by you. Thats it.

[Tia_Maria]

I just think that's their own personal view. Everyone thinks differently. You and I believe it should be 50/50 , but not everyone thinks like us. It doesn't mean we are right and they are wrong or vice versa

Everything you stated is reasonable , but it's only your opinion and view on the matter. Not everyone will see it from your perspective. It doesn't mean your opinion is right or wrong. It is what it is... just your personal view on it

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I expect to initiate more in the beginning, but in a committed relationship it should be closer to 50/50

[emmily2396]

I expect the guy to have the balls to show more obvious interest in the beginning too. But that is because i don't like guys who are so coward that they would rather let me go than try. However, once I am convinced he is interested I will show signs too.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I agree, thats probably why the most "clever" pickup line I've used is "you're pretty" 😅 being direct is the man's job in my opinion, sets up a stronger frame of "i see what i want and go for it". That said, girls should respect the fact it can be nerve wracking for us to approach y'all lol... some can be pretty brutal but most I've found will at least be polite (unless guy is a creeper, follows her like a stalker etc)

[Shamalien]

Nothing worse than a girl who blocks u cause u aren't replying immediately. Like if u give me nothing to go off if and are a boring shitty conversationalist im not replying, im gunna wait for you to follow up on a point for real. Like if I ask ‘who du like jung or freud’ and u just say freud and dont elaborate at all, congrats, ur boring af

[esotericstory]

I think these women are lazy. I don't believe in explicit chasing. Thats an animalistic kind of social behaviour. I like to be introduced by a third party, of course I have to accept the girl as trustworthy. If a guy associated with bad girls, good girls won't want him anymore.

If she is not returning the effort then things just die out for me. Its always been like that. I can't help but feel like a harasser if I am talking to her all the time but she doesn't return the favour.

[ShadowofRegret]

Self-entitled.

Seriously, she becomes interested in a guy and then... sits back and expects him to initiate everything and pay for all the dates...

[jespop]

I mean it "should" be 50/50 but I also think it might be a good thing if guys are expected to pursue it. I'm a very anxious person, but knowing how to pursue shit really helped my anxiety and I was happy to be initiating everything because eventually she would start to. But yeah in an ideal world it would be 5050 but like I'm co with it not being that

[Jjpayne]

I feel like communication is so important and its a two way street. You need to share your feelings with each other and be open with each other.

[Anonymous]

Despite all their talk about gender equality and abolishing traditional gender roles, many (most?) women today still have a strong sense of entitlement about men being the ones who should approach and ask women out, pay for dates, etc.

[BronzedAdonis]

This X1000

[Regmorus]

I think they should find partners, who appreciates that, and then it's great.

[Noodle_fan]

most of girls i know are like that , so i guess i am getting used to it , well , if i can choose , of course i prefer to be 50/50 , like you said above..

[Dchrls78104]

You chase, you go to jail; you don't chase, they complain that you don't want them. There's no winning with women these days. Men, just use common sense and let your conscience guide you.

[SlothySlob]

A princess. I already got too much shit to worry about.

[pizzalovershouse]

I think that's the way uf usd ro be but if a girl doesn't show interest Ia guy she likes mite looss intrest

[genericname85]

Well I'm sure they'll find a guy for that. I'm not that guy.

[frank27]

Why should guys only do why only there is a question comes for a guy why not its for girls and women's who do the same why Everytime guys need to face why?

[COMMODOREII]

I agree with you. It should be 50-50. I never chase a girl.

[Anonymous]

I think they just conform to what they've been thought growing up. Nothing bad about it.

[Itsmeeeee77]

A woman who is genuine and a woman.

[BronzedAdonis]

I immediately lose interest

[Slim57]

I think that's dumb, both people need to pursue it

[pigoat]

Not gonna work out