you know what i just realized. i know why i get so mad at you all the time. bc you don’t like me back which is okay but i won’t admit it to myself. i think i deserve someone who actually likes me back. it’s really fucked to do to myself what i’m doing and just fucking around w someone who literally doesn’t like me but just likes to fuck me. like i think i’m too old for that by now, like i’ve legit never had a boyfriend bc i always do this to myself and ignore the people who actually do like me and go for the ones who don’t. it completely fucks w my head and i do it bc i’m scared but like bitch i’m too old to keep doing that shit i literally have a year and a half left before i leave the country to start my life so i think i deserve to experience someone who actually likes me back before then. that’s why i get so mad at you all the time, bc i won’t admit to myself that u just don’t like me back. that’s fucked so imma fix it. i actually appreciate u for letting me go through this bc i’ve never gotten close to a guy like i did with you but it was a learning experience and i finally might have learned that i deserve someone who likes me. god i hate being the bitch w feelings and typing mf paragraphs but ig it’s time to grow up or sum.
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