Why would a women flirt with a guy when she’s got a boyfriend?

Question

This girl that I met a while ago then after coming back to the states she messaged me and wants to hang out and stuff. But then I found out she got a boyfriend and they’ve only been together for like 3-4 months he’s outta state too... why is she being so flirty with me when she has a man? Like touching hugging always gets close to me. Don’t understand... she says we’re friends but don’t act like one. She doesn’t want to have sex but yet talks about sexual stuff and makes jokes about it.

Qiyndall · Accepted Answer

Dude! Two possibilities... 1. she is telling the 100% truth or 2. She is not.

#2 first since you wonder about it. She might have 2d thoughts about her boyfriend but be unwilling or unable to admit it to herself yet.
She might value the idea of the boyfriend, but might be desperate for sex & embarrassed to admit it.
She might have no clue what she wants exactly & hopes you make the decision for her by being very pushy -despite her claims to the contrary.

#1 She NEEDS a friend & trusts you. She might even find you attractive but know you are not the right fellow for her. She is probably horny since her boyfriend is far away. Talking about these things might seem to be a way of releasing some tension for her.

Your CORRECT actions as a true friend:
1. If she wants held, HOLD HER!
2. COMMUNICATE clearly your thoughts & seek hers.
3. Talk about the boyfriend relationship to get a better read on it.
4. DECIDE as a trusted friend if that boyfriend is good for her.
5. DECIDE for yourself what you MOST want from her long-term.
6. Talk about your decisions & test your theories.
A TRUE FRIEND WANTS WHAT IS BEST FOR HIS FRIEND,

MAYBE, a friends with benefits situation is in order.
MAYBE, the distant boyfriend is not best for her
MAYBE, you are not best for her
MAYBE, neither of you are best for her

No mater what, RESPECT her & communicate clearly with her.

If she insists on being vague always, then you have your answer. She wants you to man up and make a decision. In case you are wrong -OR she changes her mind midstream- GO SLOW! Remember, you are the friend, not the claimed boyfriend. With a wishy-washy, fickle girl, you might get brushed off one day, only to have her pretending to accidentally rub your crotch "while falling asleep" watching a movie with you just a few days or a week later.

Legal issues with that situation are similar to hiding a hedgehog in your undershorts until you can meet a girl in 6 hrs to show her your little friend.

Of course, you can always protect yourself a bit by first taking her to buy condoms &/or sex toys in places with cameras "in case you might find a use for them."

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's a good thing that you are exposed to this kind of situation as of now as opposed to later on in life and learning it the hard way.

She sounds like a branch swinger to me. If she were to give you the chance to sleep with her and if you were to take up on that offer, it will damage you mentally and spiritually. I like to think that you have a good moral compass (depending on your definition of a "good" person) in that you will make the right choice.

From what others have said, she sounds like a tease and wants attention. All reasons mentioned are surface level, superficial, and shallow. Do you want to waste your time and give attention to someone who will probably sweep you under the rug when she finds someone else "entertaining?"

dmvgirl16 · Accepted Answer

Oof this is common and i think this girl is doing it because maybe she is not having good times with her boyfriend maybe likes u or has a crush on u and when she says ur friends and makes sexual jokes but says she does not want to have sex well see that is weird because maybe she says u both are friends because she has a boyfriend and also says she does not want to have sex because she has a boyfriend but i know she likes u and is maybe waiting to dump her current boyfriend to ask u out and in that moment u have to decide if u want to be with her or not

wingattebaby16 · Accepted Answer

she is bored AF.. her boyfriend is neglecting her Needs... and flirting with you is a way to poke him to pay attn to her... she probably tells him all about you... We do it coz we want attn.

aWes0MeNeSs · Answer

Unfortunately, not everyone is faithful.

Prof_Don · Answer

She may just have that type of personality, she may not get attention from her boyfriend, they may be on the verge of breaking up, their relationship may be open.

Regardless, if she is showing interest, if you’re single you should go for it. Maintaining someone else’s relationship is not your business.

Anonymous · Answer

Women/girls don't seem to care nowadays because what they complained about before or still continue to complain about that guys are fuck boys and not loyal the same goes for girls/women they aren't loyal either. They just want to fool around and have fun. This is why I don't give a fuck if world war 3 happens, let it happen so it will scare people straight not to act like fucking donkeys.

bobalife · Answer

Multiple reasons:
1. Wants attention and most likely not getting enough from her boyfriend
2. Not loyal
3. Not a committed person
4. Maybe not in love with her boyfriend
5. In an unhappy relationship

Do you like her? If so, it’s better to back away from her fast and move on. People like that in general is not good news. You also don’t wanna be anyone’s side person and start an affair. It’s not fair for you nor the other person.

Anonymous · Answer

He could be just there so she is not single, some girls don't want to be single or alone.

But she is not happy with him and you are better cach for her, you probably just like brother, means nothing will some out of this...

She has him for sex and all good stuff and you are for all boring stuff like listening to her BS and helping her with stuff...

SphynxUK · Answer

Isn’t a friend someone you can be close to and chat to openly? Like a typical man you assume she’s being flirty. She’s being friendly. Is she asking to meet you outside of work for intimate meals and drinks? Is she inviting you to her home in the evening? Is she brushing past you, leaning over in front of you, suggesting you go somewhere private?
Women are obvious when they want something. You are seeing what you want to see. You heard her words. You’re her friend... jeez!

Porcelaine · Answer

she's a tease... and a slut cuz she got a boyfriend

djmzes · Answer

Simple

Janae_ · Answer

She doesn't take her relationship seriously and maybe has mixed emotions

Oram52 · Answer

Flirt back and make a move. Either she'd back off or she hook up.

Hanzyxw · Answer

You guys are so dumb she just wanna attention and seduce you guys for her own purpose

Anonymous · Answer

Watch yourself, she could be thinking of monkey branching from the current boyfriend to you it she thinks you have more to offer than the current boyfriend, ask yourself 'do you want to be involved with that kind of woman' because she'd probably do exactly the same to you if the chance came along.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Dude it's insane how many girls with boyfriends will just shamelessly hook up with other men. And she'll make it the boyfriends fault in her own mind. Shit's messed up.

Anonymous · Answer

I've experienced it countless times from attached men. Don't know why I'm their target. Either separated, in a partnership, girlfriend, broken engagement but unavailable... many come flying to me. I know I appear like "honey" but despite attempting to cross boundaries with me, they withdraw as soon as I've asked what they are doing. Why come over to me, in the first place?

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

Her boyfriend is a loser, manchild, or she's planning on leaving because she's bored. A younger me would say to take the opportunity, but the older me says to not flirt back as much. Respect the dude's bounds and let things end and see if you're still appealing then.

Anonymous · Answer

because she's a whore who wants to cheat on him with you as a side piece because she can't control herself. that's what whores and pieces of shits like her do

magiusX26 · Answer

she can feel a break up coming. her ego (to see of she's "still got it"). could be naturally that kevel of flirty. she is in an open relationship. she is a cheater. all possibilities

Reaperbot666 · Answer

trying to keep her options open. "fish on the line" in case other plans don't work out.

Anonymous · Answer

Because he's away and she seems to be a little bit on the slutty side. Girls are very needy for touch and affection. So if her boyfriend is out of town she needs to get that from someone else.

codyccc · Answer

Lol its basically people turn on the charm for one reason and one resion only to get something from you

Why would a women flirt with a guy when she’s got a boyfriend?

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