In A Debate, Would You Debate "For" or "Against" Online/Long Distance Dating/Relationships?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Me: Against...
My arguments against online/long distance dating would be:
*If you fall in love online, you're falling in love with the words and image of what you think that person is...
Now, what if that person wasn't truthful with you? In person is the best way to know the person's actions, true self is the same as perceived to be...
* The whole point of a partner to me is having someone to spend time with, share time together, laughs, cuddles, and so much more... How can you do that if it's not an in person relationship?
*If you're dating, there shouldn't be "others". Easier to determine if you're the only one in a personal relationship. If social media relationship only, how do you know you're the only one they're online dating? Or if they're with someone IRL?(I knew someone that was telling girls online they were dating, that he loved them, while sleeping with other women IRL... That ain't love, people)
*Relationships are hard, life is short. You can better know someone faster by spending real quality IRL time together. Sometimes people spend months or in some cases years thinking they love someone or that person loved them, only to have it not work out. And that's time you don't get back...

[sawno]

In an online debate (Which i have done, its really fun) i always advocate for my own position. If they ask me to pick a side i'd argue in favor of an online relationship, however i'd merely do so on the case that it should not have to be avoided for the sake of it being long distance. However i would also point out its the least ideal form and requires a really strong couple and good long term plans to make it work.

If the couple can overcome a bridge that long they'd have a lasting loving relationship once it transitions to being a real life one. They can also do almost every aspect of one except physical touch. But its not a long term replacement for something physical.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But how do you love a person you never met? How do you even know they're not someone in a relationship and bored and just playing with others? And how do you know you'll have the same connection in person 🤔

[sawno]

I guess it is because it is a talent of mine to read people online but i just know.
The girl i loved long distance and met up with was the exact same girl i had come to know online.
If you have regular video chats and you talk to each other daily you just know how the other feels and is like, and you can judge how open someone is being with you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Guess that's just not enough for me... I don't want video chats... I want real chats that can end in more... Real time not video time... Isn't the whole point in being in a relationship "being" with someone? LD at the end of the day, you still going to bed alone

[HonestWeirdo]

I've never been on online dating but it is a better way to find people with similar interests and ideals etc. Also you are amongst a huge number of people and therefore likely to find love.
I would be against it though because it appears that the majoriy of people online just hide behind an avatar of who they wish to be and are full of shit and lies and still aren't able to be true. Also it seems that it is all to easy for people to lack decency cos they can block and forget.
If people were real and honest then I would be pro online. As that is mostly not the case then I am against

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I'd still be against... And against ldr...

[KingdomForAKiss]

I don't see it neccesarily as a topic that I'd debate, just whether or not it would work for me personally.
"Normal" relationships are hard enough-- add to that a heavy does of longing and loneliness and the unknown. Seems a recipe for a slow burn of uncertainty.
I've done a long distance relationship and it worked out in that we eventually found ourselves in the same place.

For some it may work, for others it won't.

[DanaeAdam5]

I would be 100% against this kind or relationships, I can't see how online distant relationships can work.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree 💯 for me there's many reasons it just wouldn't work

[DanaeAdam5]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤗🤗

[ArrowheadSW]

I would debate against online "relationships", since they really aren't relationships anyway. I definitely see the point with it being fun to meet people from all over on the internet. There are some that I met online 20 plus years ago when the internet was new, who I am still in touch with today! One lady I even travel with on vacations. But the limitations need to be recognized. You don't really get to know the whole person when it is long distance.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly 👍👍👍 and you can think there's a connection.. But till it's in person, you don't know the connection will still be there IRL

[ArrowheadSW]

Right! When the internet was still very new, I became interested in a couple of ladies at different times and we emailed and talked on the phone in a romantic way. With both, I realized that it might not be that way face to face! One I ended up never meeting. The other I met up with a year later and it wasn't under the premise of romance. I was just in her area and we met for lunch. VERY nice lady and if I lived closer I really would have been interested. What was nice was it was a year later and the fake romance was mostly forgotten by then although she did bring it up for fun! LOL... And there was one who was interested in uh, "dirty talk" on the phone but her expectations were realistic and never even expected to meet.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Are you still friends with the one you meet for lunch?

[ArrowheadSW]

Wow that was 20 years ago... Actually I was in touch with her for a couple of years but she got married and I lost contact. I did message her on social media a few years back though. There are others who I corresponded with way back when the internet was new who I am still in contact with. Back then people were so amazed that you could meet people from all over!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Ha old people alert... You used "back then"🤣🤣🤣 every time I say that I feel myself getting older lmao "Back in my day Sonny"😅 lol that's cool tho that you still keep in touch with some of them

[ArrowheadSW]

LOL! Oh yes... I say that a lot... LOL... And "back then" internet dating was so much funner. There were almost no dating sites, or they weren't used that much anyway. Most people met in AOL chatrooms and if they lived close, they would meet up. I dated a few. But I met face to face about 30 over the course of about 5 years.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That's cool 😎

[Kaneki05]

I just think anyone ageist just don't have the capability to be patient. Dating someone isn't about physical needs. It's about the mindset of how they make you happy. And well if someone cannot make you happy just by talking to them, then your probably not gonna get far in relationships or probably don't love them. That's Mytake on it. And how you know there been truthful and shit well the point is you don't just like in any relationship even in person you can get cheated on or turn out to be with an abuser or whatever that's a risk in any relationship. But often it's not hard to tell if you use half a brain.

The only bad thing about LD is when you want to move in together or meet. But again if you actually have patience this ain't a problem.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Really? So how many LDR really last? Or work out? And no, talking I'd not a relationship to me. Someone you can go out with, take a walk with, share a meal with, cuddle with. Be there when they're sick... That's a relationship to me...

[Kaneki05]

I was in one for a year and i know people who have been in them longer. heck my uncle was in one for 3 years before she finally came over they are married and have 3 year old daughter now been together for years now. It works out just people with patience can't handle it. I don't need anything physical to fall in love with someone. What your describing is physical things shrugs.

[Kaneki05]

Without patience*

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well yeah I want physical and emotional... Isn't that what a relationship is supposed to be? And don't mean sex... If you need to go to the hospital, shouldn't your partner be there? If your partner got sick, wouldn't you want to care for them? I'm not saying it can't work.. But for me, I don't want to date someone who can't be there physically... And again, sometimes that connection you think you have falls apart when you really meet. ... And what then hopefully you've only interested months, but what about years? ... Again, to each their own

[Kaneki05]

Well if i wasn't with them i would be off to the hospital by myself anyway. I am clingy but even i am dependent enough to go to a hospital by myself lol. So it don't matter if they cannot come with cause they literally can't so why would i worry about that. It's the same if they had a job and couldn't be with you cause they really have to go to work really shrugs. And i ain't gonna hold it over them not been there when they can't be so. I am independent enough to look after myself so all i need is someone who loves me and is there for me as much as they actually can be.

And nah real love won't fall apart when you meet only grow. I don't see how anyone couldn't bond to someone over messages and phone calls and etc. And all you need is that bond to become great friends or something more. Just for my personal experience of love it's selfless and it really don't change to reasons like oh they cannot look after me when i am sick cause there miles away. That's way to little of a reason not to love someone if you truly do. In the end it's all about what you would do for love. And i would easy wait for the right person. The person could be on Bloody Mars for all i care i will still love them. Only thing that makes me lose my love is them been dishonest and not loyal. It's always better to be with someone in person for sure, but i ain't gonna lose my feelings over them not been. My mindset of love is stronger than that.

[Kaneki05]

Relationships love to be physical of course and emotional. But to love someone you only need emotional.

[COMMODOREII]

I've done it 3 times. I would suggest to find someone you can be with in person. Though you both can be honest and truly be true to each other it sucks you are alone, there are things that only you can discover if you are physically together and the worst is finding out the other person may just be manipulating you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly.. I never have been and never would be... That's not real enough for me

[Tstrbrainer]

I don't know, normally I might be against falling in LOVE with online people because it has big risks involved and there are many not so happy ending stories.

But I think meeting online, but falling in love after knowing them personally is ok.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly. And hey if you meet someone in person that's different. But most online people are in different states... So hard to personally meet

[Jjpayne]

I'd be against long distance relationship because for me, it is very important to share closeness next to each other

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly!!

[Kurαȷ]

I wouldn't debate it, because it's a matter of personal choice.
It's silly to dictate something for other people just because it works for you.

Personally, I've only dated people who I've met online, because that's in fact the only way via which I've met women who I liked.
I've never met a woman who I would be attracted to in person, so I can't be in favor of dating people IRL, because it has never been a thing for me.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

And then how many of those became real relationship? Isn't the whole point of a relationship is being with someone? I'm not dictating to anyone.. To each their own... But then people complain snot broken heart, or being alone, or not having a family, kinda hard to do that by video... Life is short... Make the most of it

[Kurαȷ]

That's not the point, the point is that it has been the only option for me.
It's not like I've chosen to date people online over dating people in person, I simply haven't met worthwhile people in real life, that's my point.
And that's the case with most people who settle for long-distance, it's the best option for them.

Sure, I could definitely settle for women I deem inadequate and date them in real life, but that's not what I want to do.
I would much rather talk to someone long-distance than date someone inadequate in real life, frankly I'd rather remain single than date someone who I deem inadequate.

I don't want shit just to have something.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh in that I agree.. Why stay single... But online dating, isn't that settling, tho 🤔

[Kurαȷ]

Well, yes, it's settling for the best option.
It's either dating someone you like online, dating someone you don't like or being single.

I would prefer to be single over dating someone I don't like, but I would prefer to date someone online over being completely single.

[lucas262]

Against just too much that can be going on your not aware of so easy to hide things that way, sis met a guy 42 years old when she's.15.
Moves with him at 21 or so out of NOWHERE i hear about this dude

Other people getting catfished naw

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly!!! Hard enough to know someone's "true colors" IRL sometimes... Not doing the internet/ldr thing... Besides ain't the whole point of a relationship, someone to BE with, spend time with, do things with, have physical contact/intamacy with,? Video, FaceTiming is no substitute for that... Not for me anyways

[HaveNoName]

Any kind of relationship as long as the next step is a prompt marriage is perfectly fine a long as it was not a physical relationship before marriage.

Well that's my traditional view and I am happy to have one.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@HaveNoName
So you are for so called "online relationships" as long as the next step is a prompt marriage is ridiculous. They should meet in person and build a relationship for a while offline first. Online you do not get to feel or smell the person. Would you want to be with someone who mskes you vomit or at least dry-heave when you are around them? Probably not.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@MysteriousDarkness lol dry heave or vomit 🤣🤣I agree tho with what you're saying

[HaveNoName]

@MysteriousDarkness where did I say they should not meet and try to know each other? But sometimes to know the real person, even a couple of meets is enough and other times, you don't get to know the real person even after courting for 3 years. Now if you don't get my point, that only means you don't mean to.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@HaveNoName
You can say something without saying it. You said "any kind of relationship as long as the next step is a prompt marriage"

[HaveNoName]

@MysteriousDarkness In that case, I'm happy that you got my point. You don't have to agree with me as long as you know what I mean.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Definitely against

Agree with all your points too

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah not knocking anyone... Just think you set yourself up for more heartbreak and loneliness that way

[worldscolide]

Against, because you can't truly know someone, can't truly love someone until you have lived with them.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thank you!!! 👏👏👏 People these days don't"get it"...

[worldscolide]

agreed.. its why i always say that ldr's are fake..

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Agree, but when I say that, people get salty.. Don't get salty with me... Get salty with the people that keep you a ldr instead of a real relationship... Cuz if that person really loved you, it wouldn't stay long distance now would it?

[worldscolide]

exactly my wife and i were LDR for the first 6 months of the relationship. 4 hours apart. I drove up to see her every week. Then when she went back to college i moved to the same town as her college, and her parents helped her move in with me to save money... A year and a half later we were married.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That's awesome... But unfortunately that don't always work that way... Glad you're worked out tho

[worldscolide]

Yeah me too.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍🙏🙂

[Avicenna]

Yeah, sad, but true. I found this out the hard way last year.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

But, you live and learn, so you'll be okay 🙂🤗

[Avicenna]

True

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

You'll find the right one when you least expect to

[ShortCircuit]

I don't think there's anything to "debate". It works for some people, it doesn't work for others. For me personally, I could meet a girl online initially and have some long text conversations before our first date, but I wouldn't feel like I really knew her until we at least started having video calls, if not meeting in person.

[Shark_61695]

I'd debate either way, that's the point of debating... personally I'd prefer a closer relationship as I suck at relationships in general.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Why do you say you suck at relationships?

[Shark_61695]

I'm not a people person and don't really do small talk. I don't know what I'm looking for and tend to hide from others.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I don't think a lot of people know what they're looking for, or what they should be looking for... Not everyone is a people person. Hopefully you'll find someone that appreciates you for you 🙂🙂

[simplelikeme]

Against... as much as you like somebody that lives so far away from you. It's not right to each other because you would never be able to see each other as often as you would want to.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly!!!

[simplelikeme]

😁🤣🤣🤣

[JackSmy]

The trouble is, do I debate what I believe, or take the "Alternative Advocate" and argue what I don't, PERSONALLY believe, just to have the debate with someone I respect?

[loveslongnails]

I wouldn't get INTO a debate about it. Instead I'd just point at the numbers of how often they succeed. End of debate. LOL

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lmao right! Guess the against side wins.. Debate over, we can all go home 🤣

[Slim57]

I'm neither for or against, if you can do them fine, if you can't that's fine too, but like worlds collide said you can't truly know or love them until you know them in person

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That's the whole point! Why then do you have so many people saying they in a relationship or in love, yet never met... Or didn't real time together except a visit or two?

[Slim57]

They think infatuation is love like a lot of peuple do nowadays

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Whole point I'm making lol..
People don't even know what real love/real relationship means these days. Quite sad, really... What people consider relationships these days 🤷🏼‍♀️

[MadBoy]

Meh. I don't really care one way or another. ... I'm too lonely to care anyways...

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sorry to hear that!!!

[Liam_Hayden]

Against for romance, which to me requires physical contact. For if the relationship is platonic.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree there.

[genericname85]

i don't "debate". debate is probably the very worst tool to find some common ground in order to approach "truth"... debate fights the pursuit of truth. it goes the opposit direction by creating competition, when it should be a combined efford towards a common goal, not a combat to come up on top.