Initial conversation goes well. Now it's time to go on a date - i dont want to waste any time. BUT this person has decided they want me to call them and try to offer me their number. I politely decline (i dont want her to know my number until i see her in person and i know she's not a creep), also I dont want any time wasting or have the wrong expectations. Then the 20 messages of abuse, advice, persuasion, im a better person etc begin...
These kinds of people paint a bad light on dating apps and waste guys time. Your telephone number in the wrong hands can get your phone hacked, unsolicitated calls, becareful who you give it to. Creeps exist in both genders.
Updates
+1 y
Thank you everyone for your comments, the summary of this opinions is this: 1) Many people out there have not thought to seek therapy for bad experiences. 2) Having a traditional romantic & affectionate approach to dating can be mistaken for a 'player charm' attitude and as a result of 1) this is dangerous as it may bring up those bad memories and they might then seek to hurt you. Therefore the traditional approach filters out these creeps as they will react with 20messages.
When a person sets unreasonable expectations for dating, why when you refuse can they not accept it?
Sadly that's most people and society is at fault for that. The expectations of people substantially changed drastically over the decades. Adding on the social pressured of social media makes it even worse. This is why I say when it comes down to work, people need to stop making it all about that, and with more of ehat makes the person who they are. Because that's who you going to stick around for a very long time. I think most people don't expect to be sticking the person for a long time, that's why they come up with these expectations being so unreasonable. People date for keeps instead of seein g it as it originally was intended. Processing and elimination of unsuitable partners. So because of that, that why they can't let go.
yeah and im tired of those expectations, i realised it's just as effective to get a same day date if you just set low expectations zero pressure and just go for a drink. But the ones with high expectations want a person to break their back for a date. That to me means im not a priority and she's put me in a queue. No, im not 2nd best and i certainly won't wait. Take me out offer is now or never. Sadly those types keep trying to match me again.. they seem to not realise i have a memory.
The point is how you treat others how others are going to treat you. I say if you're really serious about a person you would break your back for them. But at the same time if they are strangers didn't you owe them nothing the same way they owe you nothing. If nobody's going to be serious then what's the point of dating? You don't want to date a person you're not going to be serious with it will always be somebody who would break their back for that person and that person will win them over. But whether or not it's somebody's going to do the same for you will then now you got to figure that out. Remember you're the one that made that decision to go on a dating app. They're going to have their expectations and it's within their right. The same way you going to have yours and it's within your right. So think about that long and hard when you chose to dabble into modern dating. If they trying to match what you again then you have to really look at it as they really want to be with you, but if you're not going to give him a chance they're going to find someone else. You got to learn to be in their shoes the same way they got to learn to be in yours. Either way if you got something that attracts you to these people, you got to look at yourself and see why you're attracting them.
At the same time you got to really think about what it is that you really looking for in a partner and why you doing things the way you choose to do them. So either you looking for something serious or you just looking to fool around. Serious people usually would have higher requirements than those who aren't. Those who don't have much requirements are usually people who like to play up their options and play around.
expectations are stated on the face to face date e. g. im romantically interested, im not interested. I'd like to be friends first. Im interested in a relationship, i just want something casual. Saying expectations face to face tells you a lot based on their tone of voice, where they are looking when they talk to you eye to eye or down at their feet, if they dont look interested they can't hide it. But on a phone call yes they can. This is simply to stop them wasting my time, if they can't talk openly on a date it's not serious.
That doesn't always mean anything. Maybe you come off as intimidating and their scared aboit how you will react. Personally when I deal with people who have your energy I run. I personally cannot handle all of that. And rather that walk of they're unhappy. Personally when you're doing stuff like that you're not giving yourself room to actually allow person to really get to know you. that's another reason why I don't like these strangers.
I think you pretty much found your answer to your problems. If you're reacting that way, it's no wonder why you keep getting women that respond the same where you respond. They're mirroring and feeding off of your energy. You sound attractive to them on paper but once they get to really speak to you they freeze up because now they don't know what you're expecting, or you give them a fantasy that differed from the reality of you. If you're too rigid in how you respond with them their going to run away. It leaves them feeling hopeless, frustrated, and makes them feel like they're a problem, and then they're not going to want to bother, or believe their good enough and they'll give up.
Remember, the energy you give off gives you away. They can be interested through text or type, enthusiastic over the phone. But if you don't sound the same on either of those platforms in real life, it can leave a bitter taste in someone's mouth. That's why you talk about that before you end up in a date. Because once you end up on a date, then you can't be expecting to be having all these expectations on a date. Because now people are going to try to be on their best behavior. Maybe for somebody like you you need somebody that's more so on your level psychologically as well as somebody who compliments your personality. You sound more so like a dominant personality so in return the ones that you're more attracting is lesser dominant personalities. But now if you're attractive also dominant personalities like yourself car and they staring the same standards and values as well as how they present their energy and you don't like it, then that means you got to change a lot about yourself. And really ask yourself are you somebody that even you would date if you are not yourself? Think long and hard about that. Because your personality and understanding who you are as a person is key if you expect to attract the right kind of partner.
You have been rather presumptious in your last two messages, i certainly do not intimidate women the first date i always make a girl feel comfortable I touch her hands hold them like I'm being romantic they like that I compliment them and they blush and act cute, you need to bring. If you can't be open and honest you're not being true to yourself and you don't respect the person who is putting themselves on the line to have a relationship with you, always bring your Agame. I don't encourage toxic behaviour 😂 creepy girls hate rejection they also hate guys who are emotionally intelligent that's why I refuse to give my number to creeps. In this situation the girl said politely that shell still give me her number if I wish to change my mind after I wished her well. She refused to listen that. In her persuasion she said "my intuition is obviously better than yours during phone calls." A friend knows this girl and he told me she treats bfs badly whose career isn't as priveleged (yes we talk). So I told her thats rude and comes across like you think you're the better person and I don't have time for that so goodbye. She responded with 20 messages which merited me blocking her. I will point out I mirror what girls do on dates, I've learnt all of what I do from them that I found positive I make them feel v. comfortable I even touch and hold her hand and make her blush smile laugh in my compliments. I then ask occasional deal breakers and look at her posture body language her eyes etc how is that intimidating? I'm mainly looking for the same values as mine and I'm not expecting too much. you need to bring your Agame. The 2nd date is where it will be very fun because you both don't have things on your consciousness still. Otherwise if you can't handle it and run just become friends don't date until you know the person. Perhaps that's best for you but you'll find guys hate the Friendzone unless they are low value.
Asker, it's not about being presumptions. Your playing games with a woman's feelings like that and that's not honesty. Your showing exactly how you behave and xpnt even see yourself. What your saying is all red flags. That's a player move. Not somebody for a serious partner.
You're trying to get women emotionally invested and then when it doesn't fit your standards then you basically cut it off. Are you kidding me? I'm sorry, at that point anybody that wants to leave, they were not good anyway. You revealing exactly what kind of person you are to these women and this is why they don't like you very sorry to say but that's the honest truth. And that's her intuition is telling her that, then I can say her intuition is right. Nobody wants to be played man. And you're playing a game that's going to leave you heartbroken in these girls heartbroken worse. Life and love is not a game. Stop playing these games. It is not the long game. And you don't need to bring no a game. Just be yourself. And if this is yourself that's causing a lot of these women to walk away, or get hurt, then this is why you still would like you are better off single. Not to be rude, not to be mean, not to be nasty, but just being honest. You don't treat women like that. Or else other women who are bad and who do play games with men or going to treat you worse than how you're treating these women. I'm not making assumptions. I can even sense it and feel it off of you and it's not healthy.
I'm a player? 🤔 I'm a virgin, I've refused sex throughout so how can I be that. Playing games? You're being presumptious again. Game playing is what girls do when they try to make a guy jealous or lead them on, or take too long messaging or wait days before replying or go silent. Not at one stage have i given you the opinion I do that. Id rather you reference something specifically than just make outrageous accusations. In the past I've only dated girls after 1yr of friendship, I know exactly what girls are like as I studied physiotherapy and was around 30 girls every weekday for 3yrs. The most decent girl I know showed me what good behaviour is I don't compare but I know the standards. It's not my fault if a girl has developed bad habits or lost sight from poor experiences.
This is how I know you are better off single. A player is any body who is a charmer, flirts, and fool's around with a woman's emotions. Women can do the same, but is mostly disgusted for men. You do NOT have to be sexually active or engage in sexual practices to be a player. But your going it.
And no I am not being presumptuous I can sense all of that about you and your revealing that to me and I know what kind of guys you emulates. No we don't do that as game playing. If we take too long in messaging, we just don't want to talk Perry If we go silent is because we're busy. Of all the girls like to mess around and get a guy jealous and leave them on doing that, that's their business.
Now the problem is is that you're still doing the very thing that gets people like you to grow bitter towards. No it's your fault that you think of it as a joke and a game order receive retaliation back if it ain't going your way. I can sense that about you and I can tell that that is you. That's exactly what you develop that's not good. Everything that you're telling me what you do for these girls that is game playing. You don't hold a girl's hand. You don't do that stuff. Because you're getting her emotionally invested. And you don't see that. If she don't sense that it's a good idea to be rushing into something she's not going to rush according to your time. And if you hold it against her then you showing her that you're not good for her. If she keeps coming back, that's because she don't love herself. She deserves better. And people deserve the benefit of the doubt. Your judging then the same way these other girls judge you. Tell me how is that helping you? Because you would have had somebody stable by now.
It's not about having poor experiences it's how you yourself choose to treat us. All poor experiences teaches us is to be more guarded and cautious of who we invite in our lives. We're going to judge you by your Works. We're not going to judge you according to someone else's work. But if you remind us of the same work that was done by other people, then we're going to gauge by the level of your transgressions that was already done to us in the past. We're not here to do you dirty. And we don't have time for games. That's why I tell people especially men all the time, stop trying to text you a female, stop trying to get what you want, stop trying to play those games of the play perished because if you don't really know that person, you going to come up the wrong way. You're going to get us too attached and then is going to cause a problem. Women attach easily like babies and young animals imprint on the first things and experiences they see. Your damaging these girls emotionally, mentally and psychologically, spiritually by extension, when you do this stuff. It's NOT a JOKE. Because everybody experience you inflict on these girls guess what? We remember you, and what you did. Especially when it's fresh. It is scientifically proven that when a woman experiences bad events it is imprinted. And we relive it whenever we remember it. It doesn't go away. Every single one. You men may be wired differently. But we are wired to remember. I highly suggest you re-evaluate why you're even dating and doing what your doing. Before some women may God forbid snap and make you pay for what you did and doing. Treating another person with respect and treating a person good starts by allowing them to freely express themselves without limitation as long as it does not cross boundaries or compromise morals.
I have been in a 6yr relationship with a virgin girl but I chose not to marry her so I left. Again you keep being presumptuous. You've basically learnt that good normal behaviour is bad because players do that. Why do players do that? Because they know that's what girls like. If a guy who isn't a player does that you label him a player? Makes no sense. Players get the girl because they satisfy her desire for chemistry. If a guy does not make her feel comfortable to be around she will say "we didn't have chemistry". According to women guys are thought to be sexually programmed but if they aren't like that they feel rejected and won't put themselves out there for him again. Every girl I've rejected by acting clueless when they were throwing themselves at me inviting me to their rooms between the age of 18-24 at uni, they did not talk to me ever again. I had no intention to have sex ever and I came across as you now want (a mannequin with no voice and dumb). You basically want that because of all the players? That's nonsense. Sorry I think you're one of those girls whose been corrupted by the players and I have sympathy for that, I wouldn't wish it on girls at all. But don't treat all men like players, that's self sabotage.
No I've learned is through observation and that's not what you're supposed to do. That's not good no more Behavior. That's you not actually listening and caring about how all the people chooses to express what they're feeling. Yeah and you do the same thing. First of all no it has nothing to do with satisfying her desire for chemistry and everything to do with the fact that a woman chooses to be loved. I know because many of my friends have dated players and it didn't as well.
Again you're believing in a lot of myths that are not true at all about women. We just been taught him program to go for something that has chemistry. The truth is that you got to build chemistry. And that's something that you learn to build with a person that equally shared your values. That ain't self-sabotage buddy that's being smart. God has protected me from a lot of guys that had your behaviors and I don't know a lot of bullets. Never dated them, never been interested in them, never even cared for dating in the first place. But I know a person that acted just like you and I'm glad I didn't bother with him. Because he didn't change after all those years. And now you yourself never change after all those years. So in a sense you're the one that put your own stuff in a rut. That have nothing to do with these girls that just have to do with you because you're the one that keeps on the tracking number. You're the one that keeps on Desiring them. You're the one that wants them. So don't put the blame on somebody else for something that you chose to do. That's manipulation. That's not normal behavior. You people just normalize the abusive behaviors. And twist what's pure into lustful intent. It's about the INTENT.
And just to show where you really do have a problem. You have been in a 6-year relationship with a virgin but you chose not to marry her so you left. Six years not only did you waste of your life, you wasted her life. You wasted 6 years. I'm sensing that all from what God is showing and telling me. This is not all just based on what I say, this is what I'm sensing in my spirit. And it's not good. Nobody has approached me with anything. I had to learn to wake up to the reality. And the reality is this ain't no Disney movie. Reality had to teach me it's no longer the days of old anymore. Reality had teach me those who claim to believe in God choose to live like the world when the Bible says we should be living in the spirit. No the problem is is that you don't even know what you really want for yourself so you just go have a way that sounds good to you. You're not stable as a man that's why you picking up people who are not stable within themselves. I can read all into that and not something that you yourself chose to become. None of these girls did that to you. It was already in you to do. I know because I was not like this when I was younger. I became like this after I realized that was all the crap I went through I allow myself to be abused and used by people and I did not stand up for myself because I did not already love myself. I am the woman I am now because God had to shape and mold me to become a soldier and learn to love myself. You don't know anything about a woman's real desire. Because whenever a woman really expresses her real desire you reject it.
I don't know what happened in that six-year relationship you was with. But it sounds like to me whatever it is that happened among those six years that did not make you want to marry that person you are carrying over that baggage and you don't see it. You sir, have to change and you going to need a 360 overhaul big-time. Only brainwashed people believe in that chemistry nonsense. This is not have to be a hassle just to try to love a person. You love them because you want them. If you don't, it's because you don't. If you refuse, then you refuse. So again, I know that is a type of person you are. Maybe you don't see it, or you're pretending not to care see it. All I'm telling you is that you're wrong. I don't regret telling those boys and young men the word no. Some have changed their ways and have a healthy relationship now. But others are doing the same thing Not Having learned from their mistakes. Don't be one of them. Because you are making it.
And what makes it worse. A lot of your men, and I do mean a lot but I am not saying all men. But a lot of human, you don't even have a logical or rational explanation for the things you do. None at all. Except giving excuses. And you want to know why so many women are disappointed in the morning. Why we cannot even a lot of things. Why we are often feeling neglected, if not even feel like you can't even rely or depend on you. If I went to compile a resume based on everything you're telling me, please tell me what person in their right mind is going to want to hire you ( relationship-wise). If you don't have a good track record and you already creating more problems. You need to fix it. And it starts by fixing what's going on with you. That is all I am going to say. Because if you was my son or little brother, I would have given you the same advice. No sugarcoating, no BS. Just straight facts.
In theory your words of wisdom make sense and I respect it so dont think you've wasted your time telling me (I'll take it on board), I get that women's experience of players generates a negative perception of men (I don't agree a good man should be different as a result, timid, shy, unconfident, fearful, friendly attitude will get us friendzoned, confident bold go getters are attractive whether or not players have it). So far your advice did not apply to the real world. I'll rewind to February, a woman asked me out I acted curious and just went out she was leading but had many red flags I ignored, I am sitting opposite and have not shown any sexual interest or touched her I acted reserved as you like. I showed my subtle dissaproval at her ordering a bottle of wine but accepted. She over the course of the date asked me about my living situation and she knew full well I'm living in a luxury house with two adorable cats. I had no intention of inviting her back on a first date. I communicated that but she decided to have an emotional outburst Infront of people 🤦. Afterwards I walked her to the bus stop and waited with her for a bus. I also messaged her to check she got home safe. She refused a 2nd date. Next girl, she invited me out I demonstrated what you call a 'players charm'. She was drawn to me and her eyes were fully dilated. She said she loved the affection and that I'm a virgin and that I'll take things slow and wanted a 2nd date. I suggested a short notice date after 5days but she was legit busy so I suggested one week later. she left me on read. A player would've continued to engage her and tried to emotionally drag her out. I am turned off by games. If she responded but late id politely refuse and move on. I have moved on from her. How is it my fault? Apparently she's emotionally invested 🤷🏽
Previous to that I met a girl and asked for friendship first and it went well for 3months until she started having feelings. She started demonstrating dating behaviour and asked me questions on hangouts. she asked me who I've dated previously and I said an English girl and it developed into a relationship. A week later she decides to take a super skinny English guy out but describe to me where shell take him who he is etc etc she met him one night and had sex with him (I found out from a common friend who bumped into her and him on their walk home to her apartment). I blocked her and she went crazy. I don't accept games. You suggest I play with girls emotions well they are playing with ours. Now I will be assertive and intense on the first date to eliminate girls who won't turn crazy from past experiences. Please read other comments here many say girls have not seeked therapy for their craziness. It is an issue and so your wisdom just does not apply in most situations. I'm not sure how you'd react to me but I think some of the things you have said whereby a girl would aggressively seek out to hurt me tells me is support that girls deny they need therapy after a bad experience
I totally get where you are coming from. I gave a guy my number online prior to meeting up and I'll never do it again. He gave it out to random people. Guys would ring up and send pics to my phone. I had to change my number. Thank goodness I never did meet him
So you are doing the right thing. At least by not giving out your number prior to meeting her, has let you know exactly what type of person you may have met up with. It's a scary thought. It just shows you have no idea of a persons true character just by chatting online. A sane decent woman, would be understanding and accept your decision
Thank you for your comment, that's exactly what I meant about creeps. You will eliminate a lot of these when setting up a date first as that will allow you to see if he is serious or not and his ability to organise things properly too. When you are quite certain of his approach because he isn't being a jerk you may actually find you can comfortably drop in your phone number in right before you meet up so when he texts you that he is there, you can call him to tell him where you are lol a girl did that to me and I was impressed.
However i know you will not give him your number right before a date if he has at any point made it seem difficult or unreasonable. Because now your guard has gone up. I am v. honest with a girl I tell her exactly what I'm doing beforehand so meeting her would be convenient as I'm already around. I learnt girls don't appreciate a guy who is out of town and not being reassuring, so I always plan my dates when I know I'll be doing something in that area beforehand so if she doesn't turn up it didn't inconvenience me so much but definitely she will know I won't ghost her. I think these tiny things count and shows her my seriousness. That's why I like spontaneous dates the moment we talk I don't leave without and if she stops messaging well she's done me a favour.
Opinion Owner
+1 y
thanks for the MHO
You made some great valid points that I hadn't thought of. That makes total sense. You establish boundaries from the outset, so women know where they stand. Very few people do that. It's something I'd value and appreciate in a guy if he did that with my prior to meeting up.
You seen like a very honest genuine guy. A lot of women will see that and hopefully you will find an honest genuine woman. You should write a take about it. I'm sure it'll help a lot of people.
Yeah inwouldnt give out my number either, that's what I use snapchat for. You can't worry about the "what ifs" just have fun with that person as long as you can. Also ha ging out isn't exactly a date so you dont have to neccesarily go on a date right away. My buddy hit it off with a girl and the first time they hung out she just went with him to the grocery store, not the dance club, not a fancy dinner, they just hung out while he took care of a choir, and it went well she was trying to make out with him later, he had to slow her down.
haha! love that. I got taken to a choir by a girl and watched her sing because she couldnt go out on a date with me. Sometimes yeah i agree they are better because they are low key
Government statistics show that a quarter of the adult female population are on prescription psychiatric medications. Imagine how many more have not been diagnosed, or have refused treatment.
I agree... Be careful with people.. Both IRL and online.. Some people can't hear"REAL TRUTH"past their own... And that goes for "both" genders... There was a male ANON user on here that said "all" women lie, no woman tells the truth... But even when I do tell men I'm not interested, don't flirt or lead in, tell the truth from the get go,"some" still don't get it, cuz they more about what they want, then what the reality is... I'm sure women can be the same, only referenced men cuz I'm not into females that way lol
Right on, Ms. Brain! Still I have yet to witness more women spreading words of adoration towards men. And I'm sure women can say the same thing if it's not for the overused "you are the most beautiful woman ever" every fuckboy tells every woman they speak to (and shortly get butthurt when rejected 😂).
@chocobrowniemonster I see you're arguing with btbc92. Don't bother. That person is a real psychopath who meddles in people's business and guilt trips them without any justifying reason, even if they acknowledged their mistakes. She keeps rubbing it in their faces. On top of that, she makes up false realities and accusations about other people's private business without even knowing the situation. I see you've become a victim of her aswel. Also, she is a conservative virgin Christian who has never been in e long term relationship (that's fine), yet still got the nerve to lecture people on topics she herself has no experience in. She can't stand people having different perspectives than her. She blocked me in an attempt to have the last say, simply because I exposed how much of a toxic psuedo intellect she is, thinking she knows everything about people and life, despite lacking field experience. Don't take crap from a toxic individual like her who thinks men should do everything while she brings nothing. Hence at the age of 28, no high quality man wants to be in a relationship with her so she projects her frustration on other peopel. Make sure you don't take her seriously. She is out there to sabotage people (mainly men).
thank you for your opinion and advice, i did get that about her and i saw she was continouly presumptious. I also saw that when she's being challenged she just stops so she really doesn't listen. I wouldn't take it badly that she blocked you, many refuse to change their beliefs and just argue. Whilst I've learnt to improve myself and some of the things she said id take on board but not all.
People like her are all around this website and their sole mission is to destroy other people (minaly men in her case) since they themselves are miserable in their own lives. And if their arguments get debunked, they end up blocking you, since they can't handle getting proven wrong. I'm happy that you dont take crap from her or others. I hear you bro. I'm glad people like us actually do have brain and sense of empathy for others
It's totally cool, i re-read mine and her conversation and i still do not accept her disregard for the 'player's charm'. The majority of guys who have girlfriends got them into bed by being a player, they demonstrated the badboy image which excites the girls. Players learn exactly how to get into a woman's mind. I think Btbc92 is upset that almost every guy she meets uses her and leaves once theyve realised she's not all that. I agree with quite a lot what she says but sitting there like a lemon not trying to get her to emotionally invest? isn't the idea of chemistry to get her emotions going too. It's just ridiculous to think otherwise. Girls love a guy who can do that. Otherwise if they dont, the girl just sees them as 'PREY' so we can be used by them. Psychology is most important and i can get into a woman's head by talking about behaviour. Combine that with touch and emotion and she finds us irresistable. The IDGAF attitude. Whereas she wants you to care and that's the moment they lose interest. So i get you on the part where she has lost sight and giving bad advice (intentional or not) which would sabotage a guy. I think she's said many good things and a few bad so i wouldn't say it's intentional more that she's a woman and I've been told never to follow woman's advice. I've had a girl fall in love with me by doing everything she said she hates lol. Knowledge is power, if i get a girl to open up i can seduce her with her own feelings about men. That's how to do it, i learnt without anyone telling me this.
It's not even about advice. She is actively accusing people and setting false events in other people's lives. Any person doing that is simply a toxic individual acting like a know it all. That's why I am warning those who get into arguments with her to stay the hell away from her. And yes, it always best to experiment and see what works with women and what not. I also follow the golden rule of not taking advice from women on women. "Ask the fisherman on how to catch fish, not the fish itself". You got a good head on your shoulder. Keep doing what you're doing!
The same people who set unrealistic standards are the very ones who are very insecure or worse and it shows in how they interact with others. I watched a video yesterday about 2 women who made crazy contracts that boyfriends had to sign to continue dating. Love is not a transaction. It is a continually evolving and complex action with many mini actions and trust is key. The contract I remember clearly was a girl who bought her boyfriend a video game and had a contract attached that she made up. Go on youtube and look up Optimus's channel. The video is on there.
You should tell her exactly what you wrote here. This is your concern and if you explain it to her I'm sure if she's genuine she'll under stand why you're reluctant to give her your number and share a part of you before seeing her. If she's not, that means she doesn't really care about what concerns you. In that case there is really no point to meet.
Dating apps are for losers. The people that cannot forge meaningful relationships with the people they come into contact with in their every day life of living. So they go on the internet for fun. The vast majority of women are there for attention and validations - zero intention of ever actually meeting up with someone, let along dating. You even see in in their profiles - 'don't even bother', 'I'm not settling'. Now the guys are there to find sex. It's a really dynamic combination of needs wants and desires. LOL
I did a take on dissecting a woman's dating profile - you'd probly get a kick out of it.
You need a bold and brash profile. Mysterious. Like you just really don't give a shit. You're rough and tough, a big burly rich guy. They'll go nuts. LOL
you're a pretty cool guy to be fair, i mean you explain things very well and from experience it is true about the "im just here to make friends" bitch. Those ones royally fuck guys over and turn up at their workplaces like hell.
Why thank you. Been around the block a time or two, had lots of women. From high school I've had a good looking woman at my side - I absolutely adore them. But I don't take any shit anymore either - they'll reign power over you if you let them. Then you're the sorry shmuck. LOL
If you want to learn more about what makes women tick, why they do what they do, go here and read at least the first two years of blogs by Rollo: www.therationalmale.com
I skip the PUA bullshit, but if there's something you can use then all is for not. Especially read about hypergamy, solipsism, and shit-tests. At least you'll see that shit coming from a mile away. ;)
okay thanks, i'll give it ago it seems there's a lot to read but i honestly dont know what makes a woman tick, just that when a girl broke my heart a tiny bit she kept telling me to be kind to her (possibly this makes women tick). The other one was listening to her and challenging her bad views (but i felt that was a waste as whatever rubbish they thought they just did and screwed their life up). Everything a girl told me she hated about guys, i did the same to her e. g. i pinched her butt on walks, i got on her on a picnic date to kiss her, i felt her breasts up on the 1st date, kissed her neck. didn't care that her feet hurt so never got a taxi places, when she said we shouldn't go to her house i did anyway to use her bathroom and took a dump. lol made her cry for refusing sex, took a piece of meat on her plate (shit test) when she went to the bathroom. Showed her to the bus-stop because that was the last bus when i couldve invited her to mine and got her a taxi home 😂 no care at all that she's showing me lingerie. It seemed everything she cared about, i didn't.
yeah and this girl fell in love with me because i just was an asshole to her, i even said id not turn up to her giving birth. The moment i gave a shit she left me.
I've met my girlfriend online. We do have a wonderful relationship and growing strong. But yeah, most people using dating apps aren't using them for meaningful relationships, but rather for a quick fuck. Majority of women don't even want to see a guy, they simply use them for free attention/validation online. Completely true! I've realized that I am one of the rare dudes who actually are looking for meaningful relationships online. But I'd rather find someone in real life. I'll take a look at your takes aswel! It's good to see a fellow Rollo Tomassi follower on this website! The red pill changed my life drastically (for the better).
@chocobrowniemonster Welcome to the reverse psychology of women. And this is why they are known to go for 'bad boys' or 'assholes'. Being a nice guy who prioritizes them never pays off. And I back what Browneye57 says. Read the rational male and research the red pill philosophy. It's not so complicated and makes absolute sense in everything. It helped me make progress with women, not some PUA bullshit
@TruthBringer - Ah, the truth bringer. :) Yes, nothing rang more true for me than redpill philosphy. My 25 year marriage was pretty much on the rocks. Bitch whine and complain, was all she did. Cheated. Loathed. She did it all. I finally told her she needed to decide - either get on my ship as first mate, or go her own way. I would help her get an apartment, buy her some furniture, help her move. That way she didn't have to check with me for ANYTHING, she could come and go and do whomever the fuck she wanted.
Well, low and behold, that wasn't what she wanted. She just wanted me to stand up for myself and take the lead in our relationship. It has been night and day these last few years. A real breath of fresh air.
So yeah, you can't believe anything a woman is saying - it's just them expressing their feelings at the moment. Which are also subject to change at any given moment. Just ask them why they're saying what they're saying! You get the 'I don't really know, it's just how I FEEL." They have NO qualms about being upfront about it - it is their GODDAM PREROGATIVE. So WATCH what they DO, NOT what they SAY.
And why you can never argue with a woman - it's pointless. Their brain runs on feelings and emotion, so even if you prove them wrong with facts and logic, they'll turn it around to be about their FEELINGS.
And if you can't satisfactorily allay shit-tests, THEY WILL NEVER END.
When a woman tells you what they want, how they want you to be - it's just them projecting. They really don't even know what they want. They'll tell you they want you to let your guard down, show your feelings, shed a tear. By golly, if you do that, they INSTANTLY lose respect. They see it as a weakness.
The more you know, the more understanding and acceptance. Like we used to say, these are FEATURES, not BUGS. LOL
yeah you're right. I learnt that lesson with a girl this year. The moment i revealed i was having a shit storm at work and was having a hard time dealing with it emotionally... boom cut me off. Now if i'd acted all strong and like nothings going on, she'd be in my hands still. Great beings they are. The other girls i met, cut you off after 3 days of not talking, supposed friends lol no intention of keeping contact. Only guys keep contact. So they say guys should learn to be our friends too, but they dont actually make the effort they just label. Some good advice about not caring what they say and watching what they do.
@Browneye57 I couldn't agree more! I'm sorry what you had gone through with your wife. It's stories like yours that I learn from I'm glad you got out as a better and stronger man. A lot of men out there never even learn and remain in their blue pill mindset suffering and wonder why. I'm fortunate that I discovered the red pill in my early 20s. It's after my first heartbreak that I happen to come across the red pill philosophy. In hindsight, relationships of my age don't mean much, but a heartbreak is a heartbreak. it still lead to something better. Improving myself in every aspect including how to deal with women. I've been succesful ever since and am better in weeding out the lesser quality women. And yeah, all they do is run on emotions. Logic and facts don't resonate with them. It's what they feel is right that is right according to them. If they feel the earth is flat, then the earth "must" be flat. That's why I cannot rely on any woman. They don't trust each other or themselves, let alone we trusting them. Keep spreading the truth! This website sure needs it since it's swarming with psuedo intellects, simps and easily offended snowflakes (mainly wahmen).
@TruthBringer - Wow. Just wow. Someone that actually gets it. Bravo! If we can save just a few of these simps our job is done. Did you see Tami Lahren's message to 'Boyish men'? I think she posted it on FB. She's spot-on.
😂😂😂 i just got abuse off a girl who saw me write that i would leave a girlfriend wanting a boob job with my money, not her money. Apparently thats why im single - ouch.
Some guys like bolt-on's. I've felt enough of them I don't care for them. Wifey has big naturals, and they're soft and squishy and way fun. Her girlfriends with fake ones will hug you and hang those hard tits on you. Uh, no. Just no.
The sad part of all this is, women have been trained to think their value as a person, a lover, a mate, a partner, or simply as a fellow human, is somehow wrapped up in their tits. It's just not. And they're not changing them any, unless they get fake ones, so I say, 'just rock whatcha got'.
yeah the issue is she said "a guy should have no say in it" but was stilll going to manipulate him/threaten him if he didn't pay up for the boob job because she'd just go find someone else.
Of course she would. Self absorbed entitled special little princess snowflake. LOL And what happens after she DOES convince him to pay, and actually gets them? She shows them off to any guy that wants to see them, gets bored AF with the guy that paid, and either shuts down sexually, cheats bails on him, or any combination of these. And you'll hear the famous, "I love him but I"m not IN love with him anymore." Or the "I just wasn't hhhhaaaappppyyyy". :)
People have no sense of empathy anymore and they completely disregard timekeeping in the sense that they're wasting their time and the other person's. I don't know how it happened or when, but it's like nobody even knows how to date. what's even worse is that they refuse to learn
im finding high quality women on anything that is not related to dating apps. The expectation levels are zero and it's just meeting up for a drink to talk really to know each other
Don't waste your time on those people. I would lay out expectations and your morals on the first date, and if they don't align you can get out of there asap. But you don't need to know their number or buy them a ring before getting to know them, let alone see them in real life.
Yeah, what you describe is completely unreasonable. If she didn't underhand why you didn't want to give out your number then she wasn't worth your time at all. She's either an idiot or a scammer.
thank you im glad, western women do have a lot more sense and i learn from them what's right and wrong. My own race seem to have not been nurtured properly
Cut it short with her now. I personally would t waste my time with someone who is going to argue with me over me not wanting to share my number with them
Giving away a phone number is proof that the person is actually a real person and not a chat bot or a guy or...
I do agree you have to be carefull when it comes to giving away phone numbers. But i rather give my phone number away and find out that the girl isn't real than drive an hour to a date and have to find out the hard way that i was scammed or pranked or whatever you want to call it.
why not just accept being ghosted. I've not ever been ghosted since i entered the dating life. I always setup a date at a venue where i was already at. If they dont turn up it won't matter, just enjoy a drink and find another girl there.
I understand your frustration but in this day and age people that refuse to give out their phone number to prospective partners on dating apps are usually seen as the time wasters and trolls in that they don't want the conversation to be traced easily to their real life self because they're usually not who they say they are or already have a partner
You are more likely to be a timewaster, cheater if you do everything they want you to. you're just bending over to pump and dump. The ones who legit care about their information are the most sensible and if anyone has the wrong idea about that they are the problem. I've met cheaters and know everything they do, they can be easily worked out when you ask them questions in person.
That's cool just realize as a guy that the girl is in the driver seat at this point and you might miss out on a good girl by not giving out number before meetup
lol you're quite smart, the issue with phonenumbers it's easy to look up someone on the net as it's all tied up to your social media. They can even call you as a private number pretending to cold call or wrong number and you give your name in the process
appreciate that, i learnt from experiences of my brother who calls girls and wastes his time. Women who accept the quick date organised by text are serious about a guy.
yep it happens, i filter by trying to get them out same day, it goes a long way to organise a date in one message (time, venue, activty).. if they say no cool, if they agree they will keep checking you're on your way in a subtle way by simple texts. You can reassure them throughout if they respond it's good
They feel you are not willing to compromise and get mad. Makes no sense. They act like you are entitled to accept their rules and can't turn them down or they think you are a loser.
let them lead but dont allow yourself to feel uncomfortable, you can question a bad decision by suggesting a good one like "inside the bar or outside when say he suggests outside" 😁 i one time made this silly error as i forgot her city is a bit rough compared to my town which is nice.
I like taken the traditional role... men are hunters they like to haunt for their food unless he is submissive which I hate. You go chance a man and make the first moves all you are doing it making it so easy for him to have sex with you but modern day women want to have the penis in the relationship have fun with that... me I want to have the vagina in my relationship
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