The only sex I had was a hand job jack off in thai massage place they ripped me off over 200 dollars holding my stuff hostage so I had to cought up butt load of money, now I know why the massage was so damm. Cheap aswell. As they stay afloat with the extra services.
I always wondered why it was popularar among taxi drivers. Well now I know.
Since then I got redpilles with female nature.
After being throughly burned like this I decided to not be dependent on someone to feel satisfied at all.
Getting rid of porn addiction was the hardest let alone masturbation. As I made sure to focus on self improvement and become a bachelor.
My partner is a spice that I choose to have in my life for her and my betterment to active our hopes and dreams and visions of the future as we help eachother.
but I do not intend to have that relationship as a walking stick or as crutches. To signal look at me I am in a relationship.
There are women outhere leveraging sex to control men to be a submissive and do what they want.
That we see much in nowdays in statistics. And men are naturally miserable when they do not know where to draw a line and allow them self be bulldozed over.
Relationship are supposed to be nice a and teraputic with crystal clear goals and that both sides get what they want in life. As you keep eachother accountable and reminding them of their goals and asking questions what they will try differently next time if they fail with their goals.
So I went with no fap and seminal retention community at first and the rest is history.
Scary part is the worse or the more Ignore women the more they seem to want to be with me. And be submissive.
I simply started seeing my self as the prize rather than a pursuer.
I do envy you. That I lost if virginity in that way was humiliating especially since I could barely work up an errection because of my awful nutrition and lifestyle back then.
Needing to go out and take out cash and then walk back in there with their smug "evil" scheming faces was the worst part.
That was among if not the lowest point in my life and man did I feel real bad for a while. After as I was very broken back then and my mom wondering what I spent all that money on.
Well I told her, got scolded and got throughly roasted but I just wanted to turn the page and get it over with so that I could move on to greener pastures as I moved on. And greener it became
Sometimes honesty is your ally and you get a clean conscience. You got nothing to be ashamed of.
There’s nothing wrong with social anxiety. But I’m sorry for the bullying you endured, just know that you are better than those people. Don’t ever judge your worth based on how you are treated by women. The best people are often the ones who are treated the worst.
Maybe women don’t even realize or truly care about the cruelty of their actions. Your soul might be too much for their petty, shallow, and selfish actions. You’re a good man in my book. Best of luck to you.
I know it isn’t willingly, but I congratulate you for staying a virgin for so long. There are many ways to lose your virginity nowadays.
Don’t despise your situation. You will make a woman very happy one day.
Always focus on the end goal :)
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