Should I tell my boyfriend I got asked on a date?

Question

I met this guy at a party last week. We got eye contact for a second, I thought he was handsome and I didn't think anything of it. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it's him, asking my name/where I am from etc. He went as far as to ask for my snapchat, and I gave it to him. He has been talking to me, asking about my day and he just asked me out. He suggested we hang at my place, but I said no and that we could casually play video games in the lounge at his school with other people.

I just found out this guy has a girlfriend back in his country and I'm super confused. I would never go on a date behind my boyfriend's back, but I feel so weird about the entire situation. I don't feel the need to tell my boyfriend, because I don't consider it a big deal. But would you want to know if someone asked your partner out?

Itsok2behapp-e · Accepted Answer

I don't have a partner nor do I want one in the future.

I've experienced all that I need to when it comes to romance/love so I don't need to worry about anyone else.

You do. But who? Your boyfriend or you?

What stopped you dropping the line "I have a boyfriend" Hmm?

Or do you not have one when he ain't around?

I think you'll worry more about yourself and will behave like this for a few more years down the line, breaking hearts along the way... Until one day, you're tired of it all and you scream out inside 'I just want a good man!'

Hmph! Just stop doing whatever you're doing and tell your boyfriend, better still show him this post that you've written and see what he makes of it?

Whilst you're at it as you've done nothing wrong (in your eyes) show him all the communication you've had with this other guy.

What's stopping you? Fear of losing what you have?

Do the right thing and tell him because if you don't this'll keep happening and he doesn't deserve this.

One learns to appreciate what they had once they've lost it.

She scoffs! "Who is this guy?" Just someone who posted a reply to your post dear.

I fully expect you to ignore all that I've said but one day due to your behavior and actions... it'll hit you and it'll hurt real bad when you truly lose what you really had.

NyceGuyFinishingLast · Accepted Answer

If it was an official request for a date then you should. If your boyfriend were to find out down the road it might look like you were hiding something as you met this guy at a party without your boyfriend, you gave him access to your snapchat (nothing beyond talking has occurred), you admitted that you find him attractive, and if you haven't informed your boyfriend you met a new friend that was a guy then you feel like you clearly have to hide him. This guy just wants to use you especially if he has a girlfriend, doesn't matter her location.

Ask yourself if you and your boyfriend were to trade places. He went to a party met this really attractive girl, traded social media, they talk everyday and she tried to invite herself over to his place on a date. Would you want to know that he got asked out? Would you be OK not knowing someone was showing interests in him even if he wasn't playing into it? Think about it.

It would be different if you had gone out for Starbucks and some random guy asked you out that would be nothing and not worth mentioning. But, you met this guy at a party, he has a girlfriend, and I assume he knows about your boyfriend but yet he is still trying to make advances for a more personal intimate meeting. Red flags are being thrown.

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Well since you said no, technically you don't have to cause it didn't go any further than that. If you do then he's probably going to ask you why you gave him your snap chat and told him you would hang out to play games at his school lounge when you're in a relationship? You shouldn't have gone that far, so just telling him that could anger him and cause him to not trust you based off that alone. So what you need to do is remove that guy from your snap and don't even bother going to the lounge, cause even though you said no to the date, you're still technically saying yes by giving him hope cause you said you would hang out at the lounge with him.

You're still setting yourself up for failure and possible doing something you might regret by going to hang out with him in the first place. Plus why would you want to hang out with this guy anyway? Sounds like to me, you're looking for a reason to see this guy. You have boyfriend, he has a girlfriend and he indirectly told you he's cheating on his girlfriend, he's picking up other girls while he's out of the country so I don't know why you're confused about it. Block him and drop him.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

If you have to ask, then you know you should tell your boyfriend about it. If I have a boyfriend, I would of back off and insert “boyfriend” in the conversation somewhere because it was pretty obvious he was trying to hit on you in that way including going to your place. It’s good to respect both partners. I wouldn’t had given him that much attention as you have though. He obviously isn’t tryna be just friends...

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. "I don't feel the need to tell my boyfriend, because I don't consider it a big deal." The question is not whether YOU think it is a big deal. The question is whether your boyfriend would think it was a big deal if he knew about it. And, now, the next question is "why didn't you tell me sooner? We're you trying to hide it?"

2. Why did you give him your SC? You know his interest is romantic/sexual and you are in a supposedly committed relationship. It sounds like you are looking for an opportunity to be a bad girl.

3. Yes, if I was your boyfriend, I would want to know. And if I heard as much as you have told us, I would be thinking about calling it quits with you.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I don't understand why if you have a boyfriend you would give a guy you admittedly said you thought was handsome your Snapchat in the first place?
And whether you go somewhere private with him or somewhere in a group, a date is a date is a date...
So, yes I personally think your boyfriend not only has a right to know that someone asked you out, but that you were going to go... And it confuses you that he has a girlfriend back home but asked you on a date, yet you have a boyfriend, so I'm confused... Why the snap chat, the suggestion to hang out at his school, both things you shouldn't be doing with any other guy if you're in a relationship. .. You wouldn't want your boyfriend doing that would you? And you would want to know if he was, right? So there's your answer... "Do unto others..."

Barbaric · Answer

Stop pretending like you're loyal to your guy. You're interested in meeting the guy because he's handsome, and you don't want to tell your boyfriend.

You say you won't date a guy behind your guy's back, but you're talking to the guy behind his back and thinking about meeting him with his friends behind his back. A guy who is clearly interested in you. The idea that you're hanging out platonically is nothing but a way for you to justify that to yourself.

Then if something happens with this guy, you'll be like "it just happened, it was a mistake, I didn't mean to".

Sure I'd want to know. I'd also want to know that she wasn't meeting the guy. If my girlfriend did what you're doing now we'd be finished.

Corey_Italian · Answer

The guy was definitely hitting on you. Next time a guy hits on you, all you have to say is that you have a boyfriend if he asks you out. In my own opinion, I think it's ok to have a flirtatious conversation with other people, but it stops there. My girlfriend tells me she gets hit on all the time and I don't have a problem with it. I've even seen guys hit on her and she is flirtatious back with them. I don't mind this at all because I know she's my girl and I'm her man. She always tells guys that she has a boyfriend. They back off once she says that. Even myself, when a girl comes on to me, I flirt back with them and my girlfriend knows this and she has even seen it happen to me. She doesn't mind it at all because she knows I'm not going to go any further with it. I always end such conversations as, "it was nice chatting with you, though just know that I have a girlfriend."

Now to tell your boyfriend about it depends on if he is a jealous person or not. If he is a jealous person, then I wouldn't mention it to him (and this is ok because you didn't cheat on him). If he's not a jealous person, then you can tell him in a joking way by saying, "babe, some guy just tried asking me out! Can you believe that? Crazy?"

Hope I helped :)

bluetoblack99 · Answer

You went wrong not telling him you have a boyfriend when he asked you for your Snapchat. In fact, have you told him you were taken at any point since then?

You like the attention and I know it feels good. He’s just doing his job and approaching women he finds attractive. But he is also looking to cheat on his girlfriend (if he hasn’t already) which shows you what kind of a guy he is. So you are both in the wrong.

This is really disrespectful to your boyfriend. This guy made it plainly obvious he’s interested. You could of said “no I can’t do that I’m taken” but you didn’t.

Right now you have two choices:

1. Send him a message saying you can’t chat anymore since you have a boyfriend. Then cut it off.

2. Break up with your boyfriend and pursue this guy.

But I’m wondering if you won’t do that. I’m wondering if you see him as a backup option if things don’t work out with your boyfriend. Sketch if you ask me.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

The few times this has happened, I've let my partner at the time know. Mostly so that we can talk about it and I can "debrief" from it, in a way. I'm just more comfortable telling my partners about that sort of thing - secrets don't agree with me.

I would prefer my partner tell me if someone's asked them out, but I don't need to know. It's a vote of confidence, in my eyes, that they'd tell me and that's a big thing. Plus then I can shower them with compliments about how hot and attractive they are. :D

scott04sa22 · Answer

Next time you see the dude. He might tried to open his heart to you try to persuade you and starts press your buttons to date him then he'll go out and buy an engagement ring for you. That's what happened with the last girl who I was seeing then she let me go and cut all communications with me then 2 months later she's marries the asshole who stole her for me.

If you still like your boyfriend. Tell him then tell the dude you have a boyfriend. If the dude still tries to ask you out keep rejecting him if he doesn't stop that he's obsessed with you.

MindYourEyes · Answer

Would you be cool with it if your boyfriend got asked out on a date from a girl? And decided to share his snap chat? I mean really think about it. If you both are cool with it then it shouldn’t be a big deal. But if you wouldn’t like it then probably not a good idea to go with it.

thehorriblesheikh · Answer

While most people think it would be better to tell their boyfriend, I think it is best if he does not know.

Things like what happened with the man who asked for your Snapchat happen rather often in both men and women's lives. But if you tell your boyfriend about it then he might start to assume things, and the whole thing could become more complicated than it ever was.

If something does happen with the man who asked for your Snapchat, something physical perhaps. I still think you shouldn't tell your boyfriend outright, but figure out first as to why it really happened, and when you are ready and comfortable, only then should you tell anything that you think needs to be told to your boyfriend.

By the way, GirlsAskGuys posted your question on Facebook.

Yanamaa · Answer

Look boo, if a guy ask for a phone number, a Snapchat, a Facebook, Instagram, even your favorite number ! Do not give it to him.

I had a guy hit on me today he asked for my number I said I have a man he kept asking so I gave his ass my nigga number with his begging ass.

Moral the story if you’re in a relationship be faithful do not entertain another guy If you have one so cut him off NOW it’s shouldn’t even got that far ! I don’t care how cute he might be he’s not your man and if you want to explore other people break up with your boyfriend because it’s not fair for him

Wizzbang · Answer

May not seem like a big deal to you. But having been through this before, I can tell you that it doesn't get better hiding or not telling him about it. Clearly you found this guy attractive and you gave him your snapchat, which is a red flag for most people. Why did you feel the need to give him your snapchat when you clearly knew he wanted to be more than friends?

Truthatanycost · Answer

'He went as far as to ask for my snapchat, and I gave it to him.'

This right here says it all...

'I don't feel the need to tell my boyfriend, because I don't consider it a big deal.'

Good, he will soon learn the hard way... girlfriend are just a myth.

yucychan · Answer

I'm just curious. Why did you give him your snapchat?  Why can't you tell the guy "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" instead and move away?

Angieeebabieee · Answer

Unless you're okay with the roles being flipped you shouldn't have given a man an invitation to contact you privately. If you want to continue your monogamous relationship don't say shit but cut the other stuff out. Your profile says your 19... Go be single for a while and date other people... there's no rush to be in a relationship

Aliceinwonderland22 · Answer

Yes, you should tell your boyfriend. Whether you think it is a big deal or not, if your boyfriend does and you dont tell him you are likely to cause grief in your relationship.
For relationships to work, there usally has to be a level of transparency

SphynxUK · Answer

You could have thanked him and said no when he asked for your snap. Why would you give it out to a stranger? Let alone if you have a boyfriend? That’s just letting him know your free and single.

Regarding telling your boyfriend, that’s up to you. I always tell them because I find it so weird that someone else finds me attractive! 😂

jack187625 · Answer

Just tell your boyfriend that you thought he was being friendly, if he is a foreign national, stands to reason he won't know many people. You were being nice. It later turned out he was acting out of romantic interest.

If you really want to put the point home that you are in a relationship, invite him over to play video games. With you and your boyfriend. He should get the hint from that.

Mollynotgemma · Answer

If he asked you how your night was and you didn’t mention it there and then... then there is. I point mentioning it now.
As you are asking the question then this party happened a while ago and you mentioned there was a bit of a connection! You didn’t tell your boyfriend because whilst what happened could be deemed innocent... it isn’t anymore because you feel something for the other guy... or at least have realized that you don’t love your guy!

triff · Answer

That's the question Would I want to know or is ignorance bliss Maybe it wasn't a big deal then why talk to him so much and give out your snap chat The guy is obviously sleezebag keeping so faithful to his girlfriend Dont lower yourself to his standard probably as more than one thing has occurred I would be upfront with yours

Anonymous · Answer

I personally think you should tell your boyfriend. The fact that you gave this new guy your snapchat information means you opened the door for him to continue communicating with you, rather than just shutting it down at the party. I can see how you might have thought he was just being friendly, but if you don't tell your boyfriend, it will seem you like have something to hide. I would be honest.

Should I tell my boyfriend I got asked on a date?

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