Should I tell my boyfriend I got asked on a date?

Question

I met this guy at a party last week. We got eye contact for a second, I thought he was handsome and I didn't think anything of it. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder and it's him, asking my name/where I am from etc. He went as far as to ask for my snapchat, and I gave it to him. He has been talking to me, asking about my day and he just asked me out. He suggested we hang at my place, but I said no and that we could casually play video games in the lounge at his school with other people.

I just found out this guy has a girlfriend back in his country and I'm super confused. I would never go on a date behind my boyfriend's back, but I feel so weird about the entire situation. I don't feel the need to tell my boyfriend, because I don't consider it a big deal. But would you want to know if someone asked your partner out?

Itsok2behapp-e · Accepted Answer

I don't have a partner nor do I want one in the future.

I've experienced all that I need to when it comes to romance/love so I don't need to worry about anyone else.

You do. But who? Your boyfriend or you?

What stopped you dropping the line "I have a boyfriend" Hmm?

Or do you not have one when he ain't around?

I think you'll worry more about yourself and will behave like this for a few more years down the line, breaking hearts along the way... Until one day, you're tired of it all and you scream out inside 'I just want a good man!'

Hmph! Just stop doing whatever you're doing and tell your boyfriend, better still show him this post that you've written and see what he makes of it?

Whilst you're at it as you've done nothing wrong (in your eyes) show him all the communication you've had with this other guy.

What's stopping you? Fear of losing what you have?

Do the right thing and tell him because if you don't this'll keep happening and he doesn't deserve this.

One learns to appreciate what they had once they've lost it.

She scoffs! "Who is this guy?" Just someone who posted a reply to your post dear.

I fully expect you to ignore all that I've said but one day due to your behavior and actions... it'll hit you and it'll hurt real bad when you truly lose what you really had.

NyceGuyFinishingLast · Accepted Answer

If it was an official request for a date then you should. If your boyfriend were to find out down the road it might look like you were hiding something as you met this guy at a party without your boyfriend, you gave him access to your snapchat (nothing beyond talking has occurred), you admitted that you find him attractive, and if you haven't informed your boyfriend you met a new friend that was a guy then you feel like you clearly have to hide him. This guy just wants to use you especially if he has a girlfriend, doesn't matter her location.

Ask yourself if you and your boyfriend were to trade places. He went to a party met this really attractive girl, traded social media, they talk everyday and she tried to invite herself over to his place on a date. Would you want to know that he got asked out? Would you be OK not knowing someone was showing interests in him even if he wasn't playing into it? Think about it.

It would be different if you had gone out for Starbucks and some random guy asked you out that would be nothing and not worth mentioning. But, you met this guy at a party, he has a girlfriend, and I assume he knows about your boyfriend but yet he is still trying to make advances for a more personal intimate meeting. Red flags are being thrown.

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Well since you said no, technically you don't have to cause it didn't go any further than that. If you do then he's probably going to ask you why you gave him your snap chat and told him you would hang out to play games at his school lounge when you're in a relationship? You shouldn't have gone that far, so just telling him that could anger him and cause him to not trust you based off that alone. So what you need to do is remove that guy from your snap and don't even bother going to the lounge, cause even though you said no to the date, you're still technically saying yes by giving him hope cause you said you would hang out at the lounge with him.

You're still setting yourself up for failure and possible doing something you might regret by going to hang out with him in the first place. Plus why would you want to hang out with this guy anyway? Sounds like to me, you're looking for a reason to see this guy. You have boyfriend, he has a girlfriend and he indirectly told you he's cheating on his girlfriend, he's picking up other girls while he's out of the country so I don't know why you're confused about it. Block him and drop him.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

If you have to ask, then you know you should tell your boyfriend about it. If I have a boyfriend, I would of back off and insert “boyfriend” in the conversation somewhere because it was pretty obvious he was trying to hit on you in that way including going to your place. It’s good to respect both partners. I wouldn’t had given him that much attention as you have though. He obviously isn’t tryna be just friends...

OlderAndWiser · Answer

1. "I don't feel the need to tell my boyfriend, because I don't consider it a big deal." The question is not whether YOU think it is a big deal. The question is whether your boyfriend would think it was a big deal if he knew about it. And, now, the next question is "why didn't you tell me sooner? We're you trying to hide it?"

2. Why did you give him your SC? You know his interest is romantic/sexual and you are in a supposedly committed relationship. It sounds like you are looking for an opportunity to be a bad girl.

3. Yes, if I was your boyfriend, I would want to know. And if I heard as much as you have told us, I would be thinking about calling it quits with you.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I don't understand why if you have a boyfriend you would give a guy you admittedly said you thought was handsome your Snapchat in the first place?
And whether you go somewhere private with him or somewhere in a group, a date is a date is a date...
So, yes I personally think your boyfriend not only has a right to know that someone asked you out, but that you were going to go... And it confuses you that he has a girlfriend back home but asked you on a date, yet you have a boyfriend, so I'm confused... Why the snap chat, the suggestion to hang out at his school, both things you shouldn't be doing with any other guy if you're in a relationship. .. You wouldn't want your boyfriend doing that would you? And you would want to know if he was, right? So there's your answer... "Do unto others..."

Barbaric · Answer

Stop pretending like you're loyal to your guy. You're interested in meeting the guy because he's handsome, and you don't want to tell your boyfriend.

You say you won't date a guy behind your guy's back, but you're talking to the guy behind his back and thinking about meeting him with his friends behind his back. A guy who is clearly interested in you. The idea that you're hanging out platonically is nothing but a way for you to justify that to yourself.

Then if something happens with this guy, you'll be like "it just happened, it was a mistake, I didn't mean to".

Sure I'd want to know. I'd also want to know that she wasn't meeting the guy. If my girlfriend did what you're doing now we'd be finished.

Corey_Italian · Answer

The guy was definitely hitting on you. Next time a guy hits on you, all you have to say is that you have a boyfriend if he asks you out. In my own opinion, I think it's ok to have a flirtatious conversation with other people, but it stops there. My girlfriend tells me she gets hit on all the time and I don't have a problem with it. I've even seen guys hit on her and she is flirtatious back with them. I don't mind this at all because I know she's my girl and I'm her man. She always tells guys that she has a boyfriend. They back off once she says that. Even myself, when a girl comes on to me, I flirt back with them and my girlfriend knows this and she has even seen it happen to me. She doesn't mind it at all because she knows I'm not going to go any further with it. I always end such conversations as, "it was nice chatting with you, though just know that I have a girlfriend."

Now to tell your boyfriend about it depends on if he is a jealous person or not. If he is a jealous person, then I wouldn't mention it to him (and this is ok because you didn't cheat on him). If he's not a jealous person, then you can tell him in a joking way by saying, "babe, some guy just tried asking me out! Can you believe that? Crazy?"

Hope I helped :)

bluetoblack99 · Answer

You went wrong not telling him you have a boyfriend when he asked you for your Snapchat. In fact, have you told him you were taken at any point since then?

You like the attention and I know it feels good. He’s just doing his job and approaching women he finds attractive. But he is also looking to cheat on his girlfriend (if he hasn’t already) which shows you what kind of a guy he is. So you are both in the wrong.

This is really disrespectful to your boyfriend. This guy made it plainly obvious he’s interested. You could of said “no I can’t do that I’m taken” but you didn’t.

Right now you have two choices:

1. Send him a message saying you can’t chat anymore since you have a boyfriend. Then cut it off.

2. Break up with your boyfriend and pursue this guy.

But I’m wondering if you won’t do that. I’m wondering if you see him as a backup option if things don’t work out with your boyfriend. Sketch if you ask me.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

The few times this has happened, I've let my partner at the time know. Mostly so that we can talk about it and I can "debrief" from it, in a way. I'm just more comfortable telling my partners about that sort of thing - secrets don't agree with me.

I would prefer my partner tell me if someone's asked them out, but I don't need to know. It's a vote of confidence, in my eyes, that they'd tell me and that's a big thing. Plus then I can shower them with compliments about how hot and attractive they are. :D

MindYourEyes · Answer

Would you be cool with it if your boyfriend got asked out on a date from a girl? And decided to share his snap chat? I mean really think about it. If you both are cool with it then it shouldn’t be a big deal. But if you wouldn’t like it then probably not a good idea to go with it.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Next time you see the dude. He might tried to open his heart to you try to persuade you and starts press your buttons to date him then he'll go out and buy an engagement ring for you. That's what happened with the last girl who I was seeing then she let me go and cut all communications with me then 2 months later she's marries the asshole who stole her for me.

If you still like your boyfriend. Tell him then tell the dude you have a boyfriend. If the dude still tries to ask you out keep rejecting him if he doesn't stop that he's obsessed with you.

thehorriblesheikh · Answer

While most people think it would be better to tell their boyfriend, I think it is best if he does not know.

Things like what happened with the man who asked for your Snapchat happen rather often in both men and women's lives. But if you tell your boyfriend about it then he might start to assume things, and the whole thing could become more complicated than it ever was.

If something does happen with the man who asked for your Snapchat, something physical perhaps. I still think you shouldn't tell your boyfriend outright, but figure out first as to why it really happened, and when you are ready and comfortable, only then should you tell anything that you think needs to be told to your boyfriend.

By the way, GirlsAskGuys posted your question on Facebook.

Yanamaa · Answer

Look boo, if a guy ask for a phone number, a Snapchat, a Facebook, Instagram, even your favorite number ! Do not give it to him.

I had a guy hit on me today he asked for my number I said I have a man he kept asking so I gave his ass my nigga number with his begging ass.

Moral the story if you’re in a relationship be faithful do not entertain another guy If you have one so cut him off NOW it’s shouldn’t even got that far ! I don’t care how cute he might be he’s not your man and if you want to explore other people break up with your boyfriend because it’s not fair for him

Wizzbang · Answer

May not seem like a big deal to you. But having been through this before, I can tell you that it doesn't get better hiding or not telling him about it. Clearly you found this guy attractive and you gave him your snapchat, which is a red flag for most people. Why did you feel the need to give him your snapchat when you clearly knew he wanted to be more than friends?

Truthatanycost · Answer

'He went as far as to ask for my snapchat, and I gave it to him.'

This right here says it all...

'I don't feel the need to tell my boyfriend, because I don't consider it a big deal.'

Good, he will soon learn the hard way... girlfriend are just a myth.

yucychan · Answer

I'm just curious. Why did you give him your snapchat?  Why can't you tell the guy "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" instead and move away?

Angieeebabieee · Answer

Unless you're okay with the roles being flipped you shouldn't have given a man an invitation to contact you privately. If you want to continue your monogamous relationship don't say shit but cut the other stuff out. Your profile says your 19... Go be single for a while and date other people... there's no rush to be in a relationship

Aliceinwonderland22 · Answer

Yes, you should tell your boyfriend. Whether you think it is a big deal or not, if your boyfriend does and you dont tell him you are likely to cause grief in your relationship.
For relationships to work, there usally has to be a level of transparency

SphynxUK · Answer

You could have thanked him and said no when he asked for your snap. Why would you give it out to a stranger? Let alone if you have a boyfriend? That’s just letting him know your free and single.

Regarding telling your boyfriend, that’s up to you. I always tell them because I find it so weird that someone else finds me attractive! 😂

jack187625 · Answer

Just tell your boyfriend that you thought he was being friendly, if he is a foreign national, stands to reason he won't know many people. You were being nice. It later turned out he was acting out of romantic interest.

If you really want to put the point home that you are in a relationship, invite him over to play video games. With you and your boyfriend. He should get the hint from that.

Mollynotgemma · Answer

If he asked you how your night was and you didn’t mention it there and then... then there is. I point mentioning it now.
As you are asking the question then this party happened a while ago and you mentioned there was a bit of a connection! You didn’t tell your boyfriend because whilst what happened could be deemed innocent... it isn’t anymore because you feel something for the other guy... or at least have realized that you don’t love your guy!

triff · Answer

That's the question Would I want to know or is ignorance bliss Maybe it wasn't a big deal then why talk to him so much and give out your snap chat The guy is obviously sleezebag keeping so faithful to his girlfriend Dont lower yourself to his standard probably as more than one thing has occurred I would be upfront with yours

Anonymous · Answer

I personally think you should tell your boyfriend. The fact that you gave this new guy your snapchat information means you opened the door for him to continue communicating with you, rather than just shutting it down at the party. I can see how you might have thought he was just being friendly, but if you don't tell your boyfriend, it will seem you like have something to hide. I would be honest.

jgirl99 · Answer

Yea u do need to tell him, especially since uve been carrying out contact with him, he asked u on a date so u clearly know he's interested as more than a friend. U know u should tell him, u wouldn't be asking if a part of u didn't feel like u were hiding something

Makeushiver · Answer

Not unless you want to hurt him, It's tempting to let a S. O. know that other guys, esp. attractive guys, find you desirable. It's a compliment and an offer you may want to keep in your back pocket should the need arise. If boyfriend is affectionate and you are getting along well w/ no plans of changing status of your relationship then telling him would only cause problems

Twinrova · Answer

If i was your boyfriend I'd break up with you for giving your snapchat to someone who was obviously hitting on you. I git pissed off reading this and I don't even know who you are. You cheated on him in my book.

sassy1433 · Answer

Why are u thinking so much of this guy? And why would u give him your snap? Obviously you're interested in this new guy. U should have told him from the start that u already have a guy.

Tedee18 · Answer

Okay.
When he asked you out, you suppose to have told him that you have a boyfriend.

You ask him whether his girlfriend know that you two want to hang out.

Imagine your boyfriend in that situation, would you want to know?

girls_need_luv_2 · Answer

definitely tell your boyfriend about it. tell him you gave him your snap and you said no to going to his place but that you were down to play video games. if you are 100% open and honest it will be hard for them to assume anything else.

TraceyByrd · Answer

Sounds like you don't even have maturity to have a boyfriend in the first place. Is it hard to say " no " I got a boyfriend already. Your lamee

hahahmm · Answer

You’re flirting with a guy for attention & maybe more. That’s a half step away from cheating. Stop being a coward and either dump your boyfriend or stop flirting.

Anonymous · Answer

No don't tell him and also get a full time job as a prostitute. You gave him your snapchat and next you will give him your cunt. You're so hypocritical because few days ago you shared the mytake on how to treat men right. You just need attention here. You're a cheater and go f**k like a b**ch with those dogs. No one cares but karma will do the same with u.

Anonymous · Answer

Obviously you found it a big enough deal to come on here and ask. I think you know deep down that what you’re doing is wrong to your boyfriend. If your boyfriend isn’t enough for you it’s not fair for either one of you to stay in that relationship. You making the eye contact, leading him as far as asking you on a date and then giving him your Snapchat... how would you feel if this was the other way around? And your boyfriend did all these things and then made plans to see this girl behind your back? If you don’t care then leave your boyfriend and do you. But if you do care, then you’re being very selfish.

purplepoppy · Answer

You should have told the guy you had a boyfriend. As for your boyfriend just say a guy approached you but you told him you weren't single.

Syrian_survivor · Answer

My girl tells me everything even if it's tiny or insignificant and I absolutely adore her for that and makes me trust her so much more, even if it sometimes triggers a nerve in me and makes me a bit mad, I tell her what to do about it and she makes sure I dont worry about anything related after that

Tell your boyfriend everything, he'll appreciate it

0bada · Answer

I would say a good normal boyfriend would be good at communicating and open to almost any conversation... If I get asked by a girl out on a date while I am in relationship.. I wouldn't mind telling my girlfriend, just as if I am talking about my day.

Torari · Answer

Yes. And frankly I'd question you for giving your contact information to a guy who was clearly, 100% interested in you sexually. You just don't give your contacts to potential sexual partners if you're faithful to your relationship, there is simply no reason to do so unless you want to cheat.

Last time an ex did that, I found out she'd cheated on me with that guy.

YHL6965 · Answer

I think it could create more trouble than anything, especially if your boyfriend has trust issues or get jealous easily. That said, you can choose the more open route and tell him about it to show that you have nothing to hide, especially if you are consistent about your openness.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

Girl. Yes you should tell, but also you need to really look at yourself.

If your boyfriend talked to random girls at parties, gave his contact info to them, and confiding in them about his day and life... would you be mad?

Jjpayne · Answer

I'd say maybe not... Unless he was continually trying to ask you out then I'd like to maybe tell him to chill out 😎 but this a great part where trust comes in for the partner to do the right thing by saying no 😊

Miristheiss · Answer

So you go to parties without a date, talk up strange men and arrange dates to game with them, give them your online accounts.
" I would never go on a date behind my partners back"
Girl, you have horrible boundaries.

joelles · Answer

So in short, i woudnt tell him. I wou say that you think someone liked you on that party (what is true).

And dellete his snapchat, if someone asks for you snap it mostly mean one thing and you giving him a chance and thats somthing you should not be doing.

Browneye57 · Answer

"Partner"? What the hell is that? So you already have a boyfriend, but you're flirting with another guy. Got it.  No, you never kiss and tell. EVER. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the fucking part.

MelindaT510 · Answer

I think it's important to be open and honest with your partner. Or at least ask him about it. See if he even wants to know about every time you get hit on.

Nik1hil · Answer

Imagine if your boyfriend went with a girl behind your back...  You cannot hide this from your boyfriend.. Your boyfriend needs to know

Avicenna · Answer

I'd advise you to tell him so he hears about it from you and not from someone else.  Yes, I'd like to know.

spartan55 · Answer

Wtf is wrong with you? Tell your boyfriend that you can't resist male attention so he can dump your ass.

Shamalien · Answer

If someone asked my partner out and she was actually going to hang out with them yeah I’d wanna know and tbh I wouldn’t want my partner hanging out with someone who wants in their pants

dudeinohio · Answer

You allowed him an "in" by giving him your snapchat. That's something that's a no no if you are in a relationship. You are doing everything wrong and you are setting yourself up to cheat, whether you want to or not.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If I had a girlfriend and she was asked out on a date , I much rather she never told me and I would hope she refuses to go out with the guy?

Tommy69420 · Answer

What a hoe giving out your snap to boys flirting eith you at the park. You should tell your boyfriend so he could break up with you and find an actual keeper. You are dumb and have lust in your heart.

teamvic · Answer

No dont tell him, but also you're giving that guy wayy too much attention if you're in a relationship

ChocoBrownieMonster · Answer

you're a really shitty girlfriend, tell him so he knows before you cheat on him.

Hazelstar99 · Answer

If he finds out by someone else he's not going to like it and it's going to put you in bad position. It's better you tell him.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

Haha you want him but ur trying to make it out u don't, poor boyfriend

Phoenix98 · Answer

Well I suppose you should think about it this way. If this happened with your boyfriend and a girl would you want to know about it?

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

Rather not give this guy this much attention. You may tell your boyfriend about being approached by him though.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

I wouldn’t even give someone my Snapchat while I’m taken lol  I wouldn’t tell him just for the fact that he might get mad at you for talking to him in the first place

Prof_Don · Answer

You never told this guy you have a boyfriend. You know EXACTLY what your intentions were, although you didn’t go all the way through with it.

allaboutyou2 · Answer

In any meaningful relationship honesty is always the way to go. Dishonesty has a funny way of biting us in the butt, your boyfriend will respect you more, hearing it from you rather than later on possibly hearing it from someone else.

CreativeMumble · Answer

Yes, I would like to know. If he kept it from me, that would make a bigger signal for worrying.

Guanfei · Answer

You already made a mistake by accepting him, his intentions were clear from the beginning. Get rid of him and don't mention it, as you didn't nothing wrong, yet.

RyanK9b · Answer

Tell your boyfriend this. It will increase trust and bonding. If you keep it es a secret and he finds out, he may will getting trust issues or wrong thoughts that you might cheat on him

Should I tell my boyfriend I got asked on a date?

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Should I tell him I went on a date?

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Should I tell him I went on a date?

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