Who should be in charge of planning dates?

[Anonymous]

I love to plan dates! Its so much fun! I like thinking about the person's likes and dislikes, our shared interests, and creating new adventures for us. Its even funner when I can plan something neither of us have done, so we get to experience it together.

Recently though, someone told me that if I am planning all the dates, then I am putting in all the effort and that should be on the guy. He should be the one trying to "pursue" or "court" me, not the other way around. I had never thought of it like that. I just like to plan things. I guess I do use it a bit to show the other person how much I care.

Additionally, the guy I am currently dating said I always have something planned and that I should just see him with no plan and he will take care of it. Honestly, when we first met he said he sucked at planning and I love it so I just kinda took over so he didn't have to worry about it, since we don't get to see eachother very often and I didn't want him to feel stressed over planning. But he kinda made it seem like it should be his job.


What do you think?

[vintagegirl90]

I think it should be shared, planning dates is absolutely fun don’t get me wrong at all. However, it should not be your sole responsibility to plan it all the time, he might not like every date you suggest. Give him a chance to plan dates with you every now and then it makes it fun and also it kind of gives you a bit of a break too. Alternatively, sometimes give him the reins on dates, like my boyfriend likes suggesting dates too, let them do their part.

[sadMeester]

I think you should tell him you won't plan one day. Let him treat you.

I know I love the idea of spoiling a women with a romantic evening. Nothing expensive or purchased, but a lot of set up to create a personal scene. Let him loose with a warning ahead of time and see what he comes up with to make you feel special.

He would probably enjoy feeling like he's the one making you happy primarily.

[Anonymous]

This is normally expected of guys only, especially in the early stages or beginning of dating, because historically and traditionally, girls normally don't do anything in order to make a relationship happen with a guy.

I was being sarcastic and speaking of my lifelong hatred towards the gender role that guys have to make the first move and ask the girl out in terms of starting a relationship

[Kru2020]

Mutual responsibility, both people should be a part of the planning.