I'm done. I'm just done with people, with everything. Why must life screw with me, why can't I find someone, why can't I fall in love anymore?

[SeanshterMonster]

No matter how many people I meet I never feel anything good. Sure I'm kinda excited about dating or meeting someone but I never feel anything for the person. I dont get crushes anymore and every relationship I get into ends up being abusive to me. Everywhere I go reminds me of the one good relationship I had with a girl who didn't love me and just dumped me. It's been a year and a half and I miss the relationship, I'm over her but the relationship. Was the best. I've never felt that way for anyone else sense and I've never felt the same sense. Every date or relationship I go on is just not the same, I dont feel anything exciting to the person and just the date itself. I dont feel anything anymore. I'm lost. I can't find someone, I'm convinced there's nobody good left in the world, nobody that will tell me that they love me. I dont understand why life must do this to me. The good relationship it's hard to even describe how amazing it was, but now it's gone. For good. I can't find someone else, and I can't ever beable to fall in love again. I think once you fall in live once. You'll never fall in love again.

Updates

+1 y

instagram.com/bailey_grubbzee?igshid=wetfaowvrq5t

This was my ex. I created a new account and insta says F you and puts her as first recommended follow. She found someone else like 3-4 months after she dumped me aparently. And no, I dont stock her.

[lightbulb27]

these social media are the worst of inventions, terribly sorry.

All I can say... you had something for a while and it wasn't meant to be. She found someone else. People often don't know what they want at that age. People get married and divorced, even after decades. People date a few times and breakup.

You just have to... I don't know... people do heal in time and try again. I've seen it work, it's working for me now after years.

there was a tie I thoguht like you. It's much better to focus on a positive goals than what don't have.

[SeanshterMonster]

True. I knew what I wanted. Apparently she didn't. I dont want to break someone's heart. Honestly I'd rather jump from a bridge then to break someone's heart and send them into spiraling misery.

[lightbulb27]

For now, stay single, mourn the relationship, focus on what's important... establishing your self identity, establish some goals.
You weren't in the same place, some needs weren't being met and she made a decision. Most relationships at this age don't work. Have to find out what your needs are and the other persons and do your best for each. It hurts, it's not the end of the world. She's not the only woman out there, but the first one can hurt a lot and it's very normal for it to hurt. It's up to you how long you stay there or move on.

[SeanshterMonster]

Wdyfm some needs weren't meet. Did you just blame the break up on me without even knowing the full story of the break up and why she did. I know why she did. And it was because she want in the right place in her life. She had a lot of stress and her mom died, she couldnt fall in love because of the mental stress from family, future, and her moms death so she broke up with me because she didn't want it to continue on and it would end up hurting more. Not because needs weren't being met. And dont say she probably broke up with me because of my attitude. I was a much different person before the break up. A broken heart changes people, I use to be diffrent. Happy, confident, striving for goals. Now I'm at the edge of the world not caring about anything.

[lightbulb27]

It may help to switch to phone to talk this through, as this can go in a bad direction. I' willing to do that to be clear, want to see you get out of this rut. Or maybe you never want to hear from me... but I don't mean to put the blame on you.
What I hear is all the reasons she left, other than likely the real ones. She puts it all on herself and not about you. Females avoid hurting others feelings, she knows you are sensitive and they will lie right to your face to avoid conflict. It could be that she was just confused with all going on. However, I feed my cats... if they aren't happy about something they leave, but they know where the food is. Get what I'm saying. She didn't ome back, she went somewhere else.
Ask these women or another question, if they have ever or would lie or not tell the truth to break up with a guy who loves them... if they aren't feeling it. That's what I suspect.

I've been lied to... to my face. It doesn't have to be intentional, it can be with better intentions. A more confident and mature person will be confident and direct. A young person or one who doesn't know whatthey want or undrestand their needs, may not know what they want, may not know how to communicate best, and make up things to get out. I suspect you are left in this state of suspension because you can't make sense of the lies you received.
This is a terrible lesson as you may end up hating all people and females and such. But when you put it in perspective, it is human and you have to accept people are flawed, they don't know what they want, and many more issues. Some people are emotionally ill and won't find out for decades what is going on. I doubt you'll ever know the truth but maybe if you were in counseling it might turn up.

[Hannah_le]

U learn u do. It’s all about learning and failing. I’ve had shitty men in my life n I mean like pretty shitty lmao esp when I use to live in a broken environment abusive guys , and really fucked up no idea. I got bullied a lot at first by guys , I was always rlly nice and would laugh off everything , and I tried to smile and continue on with life and talking to everyone. I met this one girl my best friend now like she’s the realest person ever and we hanged out every single day even after I. Moved we FaceTime everyday still. For 3 years. I met a guy too we’ve been together for 4 years now. It’s all about being different from the crowd and being street smart. U gotta like observe people and csnt give up if anything ur 19 still young and overall just means that those girls aren’t good enough for u they r bad lmao n Thots.

[Hannah_le]

Things got better for me tho after I met my best friend everyone wanted a friendship like us n had jealousy , when someone treated me wrong I’d confront them , and overall people liked me for being more uplifting and apologized even for how they acted. people are weird sometimes and u either find them or they find u yk.

[SeanshterMonster]

I'm not sure if I'd every find someone though. You dont just run into them or they fall in front of you. That's impossible and it never happens. Also, it says your 16, I don't know I'd that is acually your age or a accident

[Hannah_le]

That’s not what I’m saying tho lol I’m just saying sometimes it happens naturally like if u meet someone new and become friends who knows if that’ll be ur next girl but ur missing the bigger picture and it’s like don’t have that mindset cuz rlly u won’t meet anyone with having low self esteem

[Hannah_le]

I mean I don't know if u think like that sure hopefully one day someone will change ur mind or u gain self confidence. Finding the one isn’t always easy and I had a friend like U same age too n a year later found someone who they r rlly compatible with but like being Heart broken doesn’t mean ur not gonna find “anyone “. I mean I have a lot of friends ur age so I know and rlly like don’t focus on relationships like that. If u notice u keep getting into toxic relationships maybe look over things and observe what’s goin on and how u can cope n move on

[Hannah_le]

But my age sure doesn’t matter cuz my mentality is much more cuz yo I’ve been through the ghetto n out 😂 so i had to grow up more mentally n always hung out wit older people. If anything I just keep noticing ur just sad and not seeking for advice but just to vent. Everyone is trynna tell u and support u but u keep saying but I won’t find anyone well yes dude ur 19 girls ur age will still fuck around only FEW of those girls r looking for a serious relationship so rlly bro like u jus mentally gotta grow stronger.

[SeanshterMonster]

I can't find my self worth. I have none. I've never been successful, I've never been useful, and I've never had talent or skill in anything

[SeanshterMonster]

I don't know why people fuck around. I dont want to find a girl that likes sex. Its gross.

[Hannah_le]

Focus on urself at first even if it’s hard cuz u probably want someone there with u n that motivates u. U keep saying I can’t , I’m not talented , no skill and like yk change that start small. Paint , draw , craft , play a sport , have smth ur good in cuz without that too in ur next relationship ur going to be more vulnerable and if u guys breakup ur gonna feel like ur left with nothing. Make ur bed in the morning and u seem sick of it so it’s time to change as well. U seem smart and street smart ur not like the people ur age so it’s harder to find a more mature mindset but u got to be successful ur self as well before finding someone

[Hannah_le]

Making one small accomplishment and also Dm me too if u want and u can vent to me whenever and whatever but just there’s immature people and what u think is what u attract a lot. I mean anything it could just change a lot but it starts with you. I grew up being mostly independent and no one there to push me with hobbies. School was and is the only thing that was rlly left for me but I had to push myself even when I felt unmotivated snd lazy jus doing small things and you soon will be better then her and all ur exes lmao. Become stronger ur vulnerable and depressed rn so I see why u want someone to lean on but it’s not a good option unless u have a bestfriend I think yk u should also go to her or him.

[CurlyGirl42]

Let more time pass and stop dating for a while if you do not feel excited about it. Romantic love is not everything you can do in life. Try to also focus on other aspects and some day you will be ready to fall in love again. You are young, the first time one experiences heart break it can feel like it will last forever, but fact is that most things do not.

[SeanshterMonster]

I dont want to feel it again. It's like having a over flowing bucket of hope, will, happiness, confidence and such being dumped out into the void and you can't every get it back. My bucket has been empty sense.

[dsampath]

Whining about chicks? Been there done that at 19, that never helped me. Trust me when you focus on getting stronger, mentally sharper, and improving yourself in general, you'll be much happier, and then when you talk to chicks, you'll come from a position of strength, not weakness.

[SeanshterMonster]

Not like they would know anyways

[Anonymous]

Dude... you have a problem... you are into girls with prefered pronouns. Is not hard for me to imagine how much damage have you received. So here is my advice... first seek for therapy to work some of you feelings and finally get over. second... its a facke balieve to think that there is someone for everione, but also tho think there is none. Now just focus on yourself for a time. better yourself. and do not close the door. sorry for my English dude. I am fighting with that and also my phone keyboard. you gonna do good. My best wishes. this is an answer of a giy who was thinking to end himself today, but choose to have faith on tomorrow. well thatbor I just didn't dare to jump.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Sir you are 19. Chill out. You have so much time to fall in love. Most of the time we're not even in love, they're just good feelings that go away after a while.

[SeanshterMonster]

I'm afraid to date someone, and they fall for me but I dont fall for then and I have to break their heart and ruin them for months sending then into a depressed state of misery.

[lovelyhoneybones]

It ain't that deep

[SeanshterMonster]

Wdym it ain't that deep. Do you not put all your heart and soul into the love of the relationship and work hard at it. Because if you do, then a break up would shred that soul apart. I'm still in misery from the break up and that break up was from a year and a half ago.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I mean as far as someone being miserable after a breakup and you ruining them for months, they'll get over it. You shouldn't love with fear. What's the point of loving if you're afraid of losing? Understand that people can be lossed. That's why we cherish people. We never know when we're going to lose them. I used to love whole heartedly but I've learn not to do that so fast. You have to pace yourself in a relationship. Understand that you can love someone, lose them and still be okay. Heart break ends, it goes away. I know I'm only two years older than you but love was different for me when I was 19. Now that I'm a little bit older and have a clearer way of thinking, I still love but I also know I can get hurt and most likely I will and there's a beauty in that. There's beauty in being able to love despite the hurt. Use it to make you stronger and wiser for your next relationship. Don't let it destroy you.

[SeanshterMonster]

I dont understand that. How do you find beauty is loss. How can you just be okay after losing someone you put so much hard work and time into, that you put so much of your soul and your love into. Are you just supose to move on like it was nothing? Is love just something to be thrown around?

[lovelyhoneybones]

You don't move on like it was nothing, you had it. You enjoyed it, remember that but when you're time is up, it's up. The beauty is in LOVING despite the loss.

[SeanshterMonster]

You make it sound like you act like it's nothing. Lile you say "she broke up with me. Oh well" and move on. It's not that easy. If I'd move on that tast that just means i never loved them

[lovelyhoneybones]

It literally doesn't, moving on and healing is your responsibility to yourself. Love hurts when it ends but you get over it. You'll get over it. You'll look back on this in a year and realize it wasn't that serious. I look back on prior relationships and the hurt sucked at the time but it makes you stronger.

[SeanshterMonster]

What's the point though. I wish I could go back and tell myself to not go into the relationship with her. It's a huge waste of time and effort.

[msc545]

You sound really depressed and I don't blame you at all for feeling that way but to be honest with you it's worrisome. I want to suggest to you that you get some professional help to kind of teach you to manage the depression adequately and help you to feel better so that you can go on with your life. Right at the moment you don't sound so good. Feel free to DM me if you need to. I'm a mental health professional and I'll be happy to talk with you if you want.

[slatyb]

Get some professional counselling if you can. It helped me a lot. I wish I had had it when I was your age instead of being miserable through my 20's.

[SeanshterMonster]

I probably will tbh. Just need insurance

[slatyb]

Best wishes to you. It gets better.

[007kingifrit]

you're just looking for reasons to be upset at this point

[SeanshterMonster]

Anyone would he upset if no matter what every relationship they try to find is always either bad or just can't fall in love

[Sevenpointfive]

she looks like a manatee. move on

[SeanshterMonster]

Manatee?

[1031ent]

Because you didn't use a profile picture for one.

[SeanshterMonster]

I'm not dating on here dumbass. I dont do online dating, its bs and you'll just find toxic people who lie to you.

[1031ent]

Wow name calling? Probably those girls dodged a bullet.

[1031ent]

Work on your personality, it would definitely help.

[SeanshterMonster]

I was a diffent person back then. The break up screwed me up.

[SeanshterMonster]

Now I dont give a shit.

[MountAverage]

She looks happy. Anyway, what's your question?

[SeanshterMonster]

I'm glad she looks happy. I dont hate her. I use to love her. I'm just so lonley. I dont know what to do. I'm lost, and I can't find my way. My mental state is crap.

[MountAverage]

Well, for one, you should delete and if necessary block her everwhere so you don't see her. At least until you're fine.

[SeanshterMonster]

Alright.