Whats the best way to find out where you stand with a guy without asking him and scaring him away?

[Anonymous]

[fortunechips]

"What are your intentions here, with me?"
"What am I to you?"
"What is your goal through seeking my attention, friendship?"

These are straightforward questions who will make serious guys take you and their relationship with you seriously, and the not serious ones scared for sure.

If you're looking for a serious relationship with him and are asking for more from him, that's the way to go in order to find out. It will pierce through the superficial relationship and make him think about what his intentions really are, and if he doesn't know, it'll make him think.

I can't guarantee he won't run away, but it seems like you want something real, and he hasn't even bothered to make it clear yet what you and him are.

Good luck!

[Asker]

Will guys normally know right away if they want something real with you?

[fortunechips]

No. No one, male or female, will know right away if they want something real with you, not until AFTER they've gotten to know you. If they claim to before they even know you, or they say they love you, but you even know each other, that's just infatuation.

[RawIronhide]

If you can spook him he's not the one for you. I don't know, there isn't a way. Why do you girls have to try to make it harder than it has to be lol. Just ask him, maybe not with a direct question but you could say something like "hey, so what's going on with you and me?" Or try "yo, what's crackin boi wanna go suck face for 45 minutes?" I guarantee you if he likes you he'll be fine with either one and if he doesn't like you then, fuck um.

[TayTay21]

Don't try to rush relationships. It's rarely a good idea, and dtr talks are usually an attempt to rush things. Guys are just as bad about it. Not every one knows instantly what they want out of things. Some people need to let things play out. And that's my advice to you. You'll know where you stand just by watching his actions. If he pays lots of attention to you, he probably wants something serious. If he's hot and cold, you're just a side project. If he does a disappearing act, you're a booty call and nothing more.

[flamiE]

Ask him about his plans for the future. They don’t need to involve you in particular but if he doesn’t even mention he hopes to get married and start a family or whatever you hope y’all to be, then..
Even though I’d probably just ask him directly, that’s not something you wanna beat around the bush about.

[HikerDude]

Don't worry about scaring guys away. A guy who's into you won't be scared to tell you he wants to be with you. A guy who gets scared is likely someone who had one foot out the door the whole time. Let it fly and don't worry about the consequences.

[Jamie05rhs]

This right here is the best answer.

[DiscomfortZone]

If it scares them away - good. Saves you the trouble of it ending two months later. Don't waste your time on immature people looking for a "good time" rather than the relationship you're looking for.

[Asker]

Is a guy saying who knows what could happen in the future just giving me false hope?

[DiscomfortZone]

Sounds like itt...

[ohshee]

I like when someone just comes out and asks. ,, and I always say right over here and I point down or my toes

[Lexi_Lous]

Without asking... there goes the best way. A lot of guys don't seem to get scared off easily, don't they prefer it if you get straight to the point of things?

[jasco]

Honestly asking up front is the best approach because most guys are dense

[varan69]

Sometime you don't have to ask, if the guy likes u and is confortable or feels more than that will tell u as u go. So don't rush that makes the guy feel pressure

[scooogy]

"You stand there, I stand here, so where are we standing?" :P

[Anonymous]

I soooo need this question! Will read the answers...

[In_Trance]

say what you need to say; straight up

[bend-u-ovr]

I personally prefer the direct way