How do I hang out with a guy without leading him on?

[Anonymous]

I HATE this with a passion lol I think its cause it always happens and Im tired of it. I'm tired of making guys think Im "giving them a chance" to get with me whether its sexually or in an actual relationship, just cause Im nice and hang out with them. To be honest, I truly believe guys are easier than girls are. Just cause she's responding to your every message, does not mean she is into you. Just cause she's down to hang out with you at this certain event or whatever, does not mean she is into you. Just cause she's always nice and polite with you, does not mean she is into you. At least this goes for me. I have a lot of guy friends and they have mentioned that guys can be clueless and just don't get it or know when to stop pursuing her. So im like how do I befriend a guy who I think is cool but have no interest in him romantically? For ex, right now I just met this one guy and at first I thought we were cool but then he invited me out so I went out AS FRIENDS then totally knew he was hitting on me. He of course started asking me questions that he thought were slick which were aimed towards finding out if I was single or not. Like dude 1) just ask and 2) none of your business anyways because nothing is going to happen between us. Aside from this, he seems like a nice friend, someone I would like to hang out with but ONLY AS FRIENDS, but I know for sure that if I keep talking and hanging out with him, he's going to for sure think he has a chance when he zero chances. Of course, I can tell him straight up that Im not interested but I am waiting for an obvious moment where he's hitting on me to tell him. But as for now, I REALLY wanna make it known that I am not into him but he's also pretty cocky so he prob just doesn't pay attention to the hints. What do I do? or how do I stay friends with him without giving him mixed signals? In general tho, what do you do to prevent confusion for guys?

Updates

+1 y

by the way, I started flirting with this other guy in front of him whom I actually do kinda have a crush on. And it was pretty awesome to see him a little bummed out so Im hoping he gets the hint like leave me alone in that way please. But of course, he's cocky and he continues to message me with these smiley emojis and flirty. Ugh

[AmongTheApples]

"To be honest, I truly believe guys are easier than girls are."

No. That's just a stereotype. This is not a male problem; it's a problem with human nature. A lot of psychological research indicates that the more time you spend with someone, the more likely one of them (male or female) will eventually develop feelings for the other. In fact, this effect is so strong that just merely being in the presenscence of another person and not interacting with them (for instance, seating close to him or her in a couple different college classes) will make you like them more. In addition, It's also true that the more someone seems to like you, the more likely you are to start liking the other person and eventually develop feelings for that person.

These psychological principles suggest that it's extremely difficult for males and females to be friends without at least one of them eventually developing feelings for the other (and I'll add especially if either of them initially finds the other attractive).

Flirting with another guy in front of him is more likely than not just going to hurt his feelings and possibly cause him to hate you. The only thing that you really can do is give him some reason for which that you only want to be friends and hope for the best.

[Asker]

I dont wanna sound harsh but if hurting his feelings will make him realize I don't want anything to do with him in a romantic way then so be it. However, it seems like he doesn't get it and he continues to try and pursue me. Like I said, he comes off as cocky so he prob thinks he has a chance no matter what so since he continues to text me even when I respond to him with one word, Im just not gonna respond to him anymore. For ex, he just asked what Im doing this weekend and not gonna answer. Im actually really annoyed by him and can't wait to flirt with my crush again in front of him. Lol I know it sounds mean but seriously guys can be extremely clueless and not get it so if I have to do something straight up or harsh to make him stop, then it is what it is. But if he continues and the next time he says something that obviously means he's hitting on me, I will let him know that we are just friends. To be honest though, this has happened to me a million times and that doesn't work either.

[Asker]

I've learned guys are stubborn, cocky, and clueless so even if I tell him were just friends thats not gonna stop him. I wouldn't be surprised...

[jp612612]

I think you probably need to be a little more honest about your role in all of this. If you go onto dating sites, you'll see that there are plenty of women who are married/in relationships who post their cute selfies and state that they're only looking for friends. What they're really looking for is an ego stroke as they count up all their profile views and lap up the compliments from all these complete strangers. On the flip side, there is no male profile equivalent on these dating sites.

There are plenty of women out there who are able to have platonic, friendly relationships with guys (even really close relationships). But then again, maybe they just are not as irresistible as you! ;-)

[Asker]

Its not women who are able to have friendly relationships, that is known. Im asking if guys are capable of only being friends with girls. But my post was basically asking how I can still be friends with a guy without making him think he has a chance or as a guy hell always think he has a chance cause thats just their nature?

[miamigirl1970]

Women have much more power than men. Please believe me when I tell you that. It takes the women to act and the men to respond. Men are more hesitant to respond in fear of how we women will act. You have to be honest from the beginning as to what you are looking for. By talking to men, they don't always take it sexual, but you have to just let them know that you want to hang out for the companionship and that is all, if that is what you want. Men are simple, it is women who make it complicated, trust me! Been there, done that...

[miamigirl1970]

Thanks for the MHO

[OjosOscuros2]

You should probably just start hang out with girls. That's what I learned to do, after one guy who I thought was my friend went absolutely crazy and started cussing me out because I wasn't attracted to him. Then another thought it was okay to assault me. I was done with that shit.

[HorrorFan]

You need to be pretty blunt about it up front. No hints. No subtlety. Straight up tell him that you aren't looking for a relationship. No sex. Just a friendship.

Of course, most guys are going to exit the whole situation at this point. Generally if a guy finds you attractive, he's going to want more. This is just reality.

[starzcapz]

The funny thing is I have the problem of girls thinking I'm hitting on them when I actually want to be friends because I say lets hang out 😂

[Nelsoen]

Befriend a confident, attractive guy who has better options than you. I promise he won't look at you twice.

[relaxrelax]

i hate women that run on feelings so much its annoying

[Anonymous]

girls and guys can't be "just friends". just doesn't work that way