Guys, Asking whether I look like my pictures after a date?

[Anonymous]

I got to know a guy through online dating and we met up for a first date. While on the date, he told me I was beautiful. A few days after the date, I asked him whether I looked like my pictures to him. He said not entirely. I then asked what was different, etc. and never got an answer back. Is it because he didn’t find me attractive or as attractive as my photos irl?

[NathanDavis]

cameras, digital dimensions, angles, light, filters, makeup, photoshop... those are just some of the things that could make you look a bit different when you actually meet in person, and it could be just about that.

It does not have to mean that you're not attractive, or that you're less attractive.

[Asker]

You’re right. I always try to „lower“ the expectations a bit beforehand. Telling the guys my height/weight, that I wear braces or if I‘m using filters, so that they could decide on their own whether they still want to meet up. While texting it’s never a problem for them. But yeah, I don’t really know anymore..

[NathanDavis]

Everyone is different out there... there will be guys who like something in particular and a lot, and if you do not have it it might be a 'deal breaker" for them, or you would be less interesting to them. There also those who could just see your eyes and think you have really great eyes and smile, and that will be all they need to be really into you.

Then there's many others who are not just nor mostly about the looks but also who you really are, other than your body and face, so you should consider that as well... you are/should be a complete person and focus on that as well, and perhaps even more than your looks.

[ChocoBrowny]

A girl/woman can look better than her photos. I actually told a woman this on a date and she smiled.

[Asker]

Yeah, but since I asked him and he said „not entirely“ and never answered to my following question, I don't know..

[ChocoBrowny]

Did you use recent pictures or were you a typical woman and use pictures from years ago when you weren't fat?

[Asker]

No, my pictures are recent. I always ask people who know me in person before uploading them. I also tell the guys my height/weight, if I‘m sporty, wear braces, use filters, etc. so they could decide on their own whether the still want to meet up. I don't know. I always worry they don’t find me (as) attractive irl

[ChocoBrowny]

'Not entirely' means yes. Not at all means no. No means no. He just felt there is a slight variation because photos aren't a person's eyes. I've seen a girl who looked different to her pictures because when she took photos she would always be close up. You're setting yourself up to damage your own self esteem if you ask. Stop that

[ChocoBrowny]

We already know you're attractive physically but your personality is what can put someone off so just enjoy yourself and act confident

[OlderAndWiser]

It is equally possible that he found you to me more attractive IRL than in your photos.

[Asker]

I doubt that

[OlderAndWiser]

Why? Lack of self-confidence? Something he said?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is worried about offending you

[Asker]

Yeah I guess..