Why do people say that women in their 30s are undesirable?

[nella965]

If women in their 30s were so undesirable, then why are there more 30 something yr old women giving birth than 20 something yr old women? Obviously they must have boyfriends or husbands to have kids with.

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/more-women-in-their-30s-having-babies-than-20s#A-new-mother-at-30-something

https://slate.com/human-interest/2017/05/cdc-data-says-women-in-their-thirties-are-having-more-babies-than-women-in-their-twenties.html

Updates

+1 y

If women are birthing later in life, then it means they are also likely to be marrying later in life.

[nodnol32]

I think thats a lie. Loads of desirable women out there in their 30s. If women in their 30s are getting married, it definitely implies that they are desirable.

[Dchrls78104]

A statement having more to do with fantasy and myth than with the facts of the real world.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Because they're idiots. Yeah I said it... don't like it?
Please feel free to downvote me.

Society has brainwashed people to believe that once women hit a certain age range, they're "undesirable," or no longer as attractive as their younger counterparts. Why?
People assume that as a woman gets older, she's no longer as fertile or attractive, thus her "value" deteriorates.

Yet there are some women that, believe it or not, get more attractive, lively, and even more sexually in tune with her body as she gets older. I'm not hating on you younger ladies, but a woman in her 30s can be just as attractive, if not more, than a girl in her 20s! Especially if she takes good care of her body and health. Not to brag, but I look and feel better now at 35 (soon to be 36) than I did when I was in my 20s... yeah, REALLY.

As for why women are waiting until their 30s to have kids? I think that's more of a generation thing. Women are putting their careers and education before settling down- which is great!!! It used to be women where strongly emphasized to settle down as early as possible. But I think most young women realize they need a career to help support their families or themselves first.

Or maybe they're just waiting to find the right guy to have a child with? The point is, women can have kids well into their late 30s, early 40s (though that's pushing it) with minimal to no complications.

[BeMuse]

Women in their 30s can be very attractive. They can also go way down hill physically by that point in life… People that party late night through their 20s, drink a lot, smoke, have stressful jobs, etc tend to start looking pretty weather in their 30s. Many get chubby as their metabolism shifts. Some start to have health issues, wear glasses, etc. Some of the lonely ones start to show signs of psychological issues which can tank their personality. They aren’t the young hot party girl they once were. People remember the hot girls they went to school with and then see them later and think they’ve really lost their luster. Everyone ages… If you think you can do the same thing now, that you could do when you were young, then you probably weren’t very good when you were young... On top of that you might date a women several years before getting engaged/married. Then you might also spend a few years living together before you decide to have your first child. Whatever that timeline looks like, it is competing with menopause. If they are going to have kids it has to work out before that deadline. Thus women may be psycho pushy and want to rush into marriage and/or kids because she knows her time is limited and she doesn’t want to “waste” it on a guy that isn’t ready to bread NOW. Guys often want heirs as well, but don’t like pushy women that want to rush things. Women reproductively have an expiration date. Early menopause might happen at 40… So there are some ideas for you...

[BeMuse]

Older women may also have divorces or children from other men as well with baby daddy issues.

[Ayanna240]

Just because men don't have an expiration date, it doesn't mean he can always get a young woman who wants an old ugly guy like him at 45. Just think about it, why would a young 25 yr old be interested in an old 40 yr old if she has plenty of other options?

[Ayanna240]

usually if a man is 40 and still single, it is more likely than not that he will never have kids in his life. By the time he its 45, there is a 98% chance he will never ever have kids in his life.

[BeMuse]

@Ayanna240 You can spend your energy chasing whatever you are attracted to. I don’t really care. Generally guys are said to age a bit better than women. Women also tend to go for guys several years older than them, but obviously not extremely older than them. Additionally, some guys age better than other just as is true with women. I’ve had women 15 years or so younger than me chase me many times based on looks and personality… So it happens frequently enough. 20 years maybe is a stretch... That said, beyond 10 years or so I think is a little weird. There might be some wiggle room for a year or two but not much... There a disconnect between generations and maturity level I guess. The same emotional connection really isn’t there...

[Ayanna240]

Marriage records show that women are marrying men that are 3.5 years older than them on average. So this means that women do prefer men around their age. So if you're the average typical 40 yr old man, you're probably only going to get women in their late 30s willing to date you. Most women in their early to mid 30s do not tend to be interested in 40 something yr old men. Men who are over 40 are seen as past their prime for marriage.

And its not true that men always age better than women. I have actually seen 45 yr old women look 25. There was another time I met a 37 yr old woman who looked 24. There are many folks who look younger nowadays. Its not gender based but rather genes based. Some people just do not age.

Then there are men out there who are balding by the time they are 33. It really boils down to genetics.

But for me, I don't care about how a man looks. If he's over the age of 34. The chances of me taking him seriously as a candidate for marriage drops significantly. Its not about attractiveness. Its about how I would get along with him as we get older. If I'm 45 and he is 60, then I can imagine there would be some trouble getting along with each other.

[Ayanna240]

You need to remember that if you're chasing women in their 20s, you're competing against a lot of handsome, hot younger men who still have a shinning head of hair, no wrinkles, fit, muscular hot bodies. Men who are young, strong and fast.

As men hit their mid to late 30s, they start gaining weight, balding or going bald, losing muscle mass, white hairs, skin starts showing visible signs of aging, you might not be able to run as fast as you used to.

Younger women tend to have a lot of options.

[Ayanna240]

Why Do Women in Their 30s Not Want to Date Men in Their 40s?

www.evanmarckatz.com/.../comment-page-27

[BeMuse]

@Ayanna240 As you age that perspective will likely change a bit. At a very young age you are inexperienced to the world. Once you pass your mid 20s or so the world looks a little different. You have left behind being grouped by similar age in school/college and you are around people of all ages all the sudden. Your pool of people that you encounter on a daily basis will be much more varied in age range. Who you make a connection with in your day to day life will have little to do with a number unless you only talk to people you filter through an online dating database. The average age difference is low because people often get married young. That said, half of them end up divorced so obvious that age range doesn’t work out that well… It’s about as good as a flip of a coin.

[Ayanna240]

here's the reality of dating in your 20s vs dating in your 30s.

Dating in 20s tend to be at its peak. Everyone is single, your social lives are booming, you're partying with your friends every week.

However, dating in your 30s tends to SLOW DOWN A LOT. This is for both men and women. Because at this point in life, you are no longer partying nearly as much. Your social circle downsized a lot. You lost many friends because they got engaged , married, or prefer to hangout with their girlfriends. You also probably are not interested in partying or meeting people as much as you used to.

I have met a lot of guys in online dating, this is how I know. Most guys in their 30s do not tend to have the dating lives that they once had in their 20s.

And as you get further into your 30s, you start losing your attractiveness. You start seeing more and more of your friends getting married and having kids. Many of them do not have the time to hangout with you at the bar anymore because they have to take care of their families. Now your dating pool has gotten even smaller.

As you age, your dating options do not get better. It becomes increasingly difficult to meet new people as you get older, especially available people. The only single folks tend to be in their late 20s, who are reluctant to date a man so much older.

[Ayanna240]

At some point in your life, you are simply going to have to settle. The longer you wait, the less likely you are to find love. And especially if you're gonna try to date in your 40s, its mostly only going to be single moms or divorced women. As you can see, things just get worse.

Lifetime fertility does not mean that you can always have kids. why would a beautiful young woman go for an ugly old man? especially if there is a huge vast difference in maturity, life experience impeding you both from understanding and relating to each other.

[Ayanna240]

For me, I want to marry a man who I am still physically attracted to and strong. I think its a female need for a woman to know that she can rely on her man to protect her and her children.

If you're past your prime at 40 years old, you're weakening, old. Its just not something that women are biologically designed to be attracted to.

And when 30 something yr old women marry 40 yr old men, its very likely that she is settling because she can't find someone better.

[BeMuse]

@Ayanna240 It’s funny because you’re describe the window of opportunity for many women and applying it to men. Men and women do not live the same lives... The share of men that are married is about 40% at 30 years old and then about 60% of men from 40-60 years old. After that men are either dying off or they are married at rates that elevate gradually to about 80% as the age climbs. Guys always have a lot of guy friends that are single. Half the guys we know are single. Single guys tend to hang out with other single guys not men that carry around diaper bags and drive minivans. So your view is strongly bias from a female perspective. When men get divorced, their kids are generally taken from them by the courts. They are an independent single man again. They might have some financial burden via child support, but they are single again without a family to look after. Single guys tend to go out, party, meet girls that are younger, etc. Women often get bogged down with children and either become mothers with husbands or single mothers grinding it out. There are different lifestyles for different genders...

[Ayanna240]

" It’s funny because you’re describe the window of opportunity for many women and applying it to men."

The window of opportunity exists for men too. Sure you can have life long fertility. But why would a young woman of child bearing age , go for a man who she is not physically attracted to? Do you really think a 32 yr old woman would prefer a 40 yr old man over a 35 yr old man? Do you really think that you get more attractive as you head onto your 40s? Its time for men like you to wake up and smell the coffee. If you want kids, you're gonna have to go for a woman of child bearing age which means she has to be YOUNG.

"The share of men that are married is about 40% at 30 years old and then about 60% of men from 40-60 years old. "

Well I have evidence that this is not true. Average age of marriage for men is 33. This means the the overwhelming majority of men get married around the age of 33. It still shows that the prime age for marriage remains still in 30s

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years.

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

[Ayanna240]

"Single guys tend to go out, party, meet girls that are younger, etc. Women often get bogged down with children and either become mothers with husbands or single mothers grinding it out. There are different lifestyles for different genders.."

Overwhelming majority of young women are not interested in men with kids. Just like single men are not interested in women with kids.

A young woman can have a single young guy who is still hot and in his prime, no kids to support.

Older women are more likely to accept a single man with kids. Younger women are not.

It sounds to me like you're just talking in order to save your feelings. Trust me, I am not interested in single dads in any way shape or form. I'm looking for a single attractive man to start a family with.

[Ayanna240]

I'm not interested in having kids with a man who is already paying to support kids on his own. I want all of his money to be dedicated to raising my child. And chances are he's gonna have his kids visit him at his house. I want a man who can dedicate his full attention to my children.

And of course I am not interested in having him still be connected to his ex, since they have kids together. I am definitely not interested in them both debating on how he and his ex wife will pay for their kids college tuition.

[BeMuse]

@Ayanna240 So now you're projecting... Anyway, yes it is very common for younger women to want older men. For example my older brother started dating a 27 year old women when he was a few months away from 40. She is college educated, relatively smart, she makes an above average salary, and even comes from a somewhat wealthy family… So many options right? He takes her serious but is not interested in marriage necessarily. Why is she with a guy over 40 that won’t marry her? She wants to marry him. She’s trying to wear him down I guess... This sort of scenario plays out time and time again. The average age is just dragged down because so many people foolishly get married young before they are equipped for life and then end up divorced as all the troubles pile up. Not everyone that gets divorced has kids and men specifically have little involvement with their kids many times due to how the laws are skewed to favor women in divorce. Like I said before, you spend your energy chasing whatever attracts you. I don’t care. The reality is single men crowd together and keep our social circles. A few guys picked off every once in a while and locked into marriage. When married they always want to go out with the guys to have some fun, but it’s them that becomes isolated from their social circles not the single guys. You have it backwards.

[BeMuse]

*get picked off

[Ayanna240]

I think you're projecting. I can tell through your writing that you're super insecure and worried because you know you're gonna be past your prime in a few years and that you're gonna grow less attractive as you get older.

I have a ton of evidence to back everything that I'm stating:

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conway-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.

In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.

Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[Ayanna240]

Most men marry women younger than they are; with the difference being between two and three years in Spain, the UK reporting the difference to be on average about three years, and the US, two and a half. The pattern was also confirmed for the rest of the world, with the gap being largest in Africa

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

Sorry dude, I do not see any evidence that overwhelming majority of young women are interested in much older men. According to statistics, the most common age difference is just 2-3 years, not 12-13 years

[BeMuse]

@Ayanna240 You can easily find the statistics that back what I mentioned if you were to look, but you’re not interested in facts. You’re interested in your narrative because it makes you feel comfortable at your current age and you’re scared to change your views with new evidence. That’s bad science. Your view point is very bias, not only in age but also it is sexist because you aren’t attempting to walk in men’s shoes. We play different roles in the world and are treated differently for better or worse. You need to get past “average” “first time” marriage age and look at percent of individuals married at specific age ranges and take divorces into account. You’ll find relationships are far more dynamic than just the average first time marriage age in the modern world for better or worse. People get divorced at such high rates because they make bad decisions when they are your age… It takes some perspective on life to get things right for the majority of people. That aside every single good looking girl with a half a brain that I grew up with married someone 10-11 years older than them. At the time I thought it was weird, but as I’ve grown up I’m more comfortable with the idea and it seems normal enough. As I stated prior, I’m not personally comfortable beyond say 10 years at the moment (5 years seems idea), but I have had plenty of women 15 years younger chase me because they thought I was sexy or whatever… Maybe when I am 50 years old a 15 year gap won’t seem so crazy if I even care then, but it is a bit much for me personally at my age. I’m fine with dating women in their 30s if I am attracted to them. Like I said right there in my first sentence “Women in their 30s can be very attractive”… That said many women in their 30s will have to face the reality of many of the aspects of life I mentioned in my original opinion. If you’re hot shit maybe you get an extra 5 years or a decade to be picky.

[BeMuse]

*ideal

[Ayanna240]

hun, I have evidence through statistics and research. What do you have? all you have written on here are just random assertions that make you feel better about aging yourself.

How often do you see a 28 yr old woman dating a 40 yr old man? lets be honest right here.

what makes you think that women would grow more attracted to you as you head into your 40s?

[Ayanna240]

I am not physically attracted to men over 35 and especially not over 40. If looks are so important to you that you only date significantly younger women, then what makes you think that looks don't matter to me? if you're not attracted to wrinkles, white hairs on women, then what makes you think that I will be attracted to wrinkles, and white hairs on men?

I am young. I have guys ranging from 26 to 33 who are willing to date me. You're 40 years old, why would I pick you? young women have options. Young women can afford to pick.

[Ayanna240]

You get less attractive as you get older into your 40s. So quit thinking that aging only affects women , but not you.

[BeMuse]

@Ayanna240 1) You’re too lazy or too stupid to look up the stats I’m referring to. I don’t really care which. Either way, you’ve proven you are a low quality catch... I told you what to look up, it’s not that hard if you’re not retarded. It’s not my job to do your work for you. I sent you in the right direction if you want to tumble down that rabbit hole.

2) You’re trying to convince me that I don’t have single friends at my age which I do. You’re trying to convince me that there aren’t women that will date or sleep with me at my age which they do. You’re trying to convince me young women aren’t attracted to me, which they are. You’re trying to convince me that women don’t date and marry men 10 years older than them, but I see it in my own life all the time. All your verbiage is irrelevant. You’re like a person on the side of the road yelling at cars as they pass saying you can’t drive as all the cars flood past you… but but but I have this statistic that says most first time drivers drive a car at 16. You’re too old to drive! Stop driving! I said stop driving! Quite frankly you look silly standing out their on the side of the road.

[Ayanna240]

Of course women are still attracted to you. You are still young. Just wait until you are 38-40 and lets see your dating game again. Do you really think dating at 41 is the same as dating at 31?

And no, statistics and evidence DOES NOT show that that women commonly marry men 10+ years older. Overwhelming majority of women marry men that are 0-6 years older.

You can't even show me proof that most women like men that are 10+ years older.
No proof= No validity

[Ayanna240]

Its funny how men think that dating at 41 would be better than dating at 31. Do you think you would look better at 41 than at 31? haha. Sorry but aging applies to you too.

If you don't like white hairs, weight gain, wrinkles on women. Don't expect women to like balding, white hairs, wrinkles, weight gain on men.

[Ayanna240]

Your friends social circle will downsize as you approach 40 too. Its not going to stay the same. Guys are gonna get engaged, married, or have kids. Do you really think your social circle will stay the same size at 41 compared to 31?

are you that blind and naive?

[BeMuse]

@Ayanna240 See the problem with your assumption is that I’m not the random age I clicked on some internet forum sign up page and I have actually live many of those years already and have a real track record. Whoops, looks like you’re wrong. So sad, too bad.

[nella965]

Well I can tell through your writing that you're deeply insecure and worried about your future dating / marriage prospects. You sound like a 40 yr old spinster from the 1800s. You are so emotional, full of grief and in denial that most of your writing is just emotional ramblings and outbursts.

Young women are not attracted to old men. Sorry to burst your bubble. Aging applies to you too. The older you get , the less likely you are to get that young hot chick in her 20s or even early 30s. Men do not look hotter as they enter their 40s-50s, just like women.

Sure there are weird abnormal women who like old men in their 40s-50s. Just like there are young men who love cougars but these are a very rare find.

You don't even have any real proof that most younger women like much older men, like how you love asserting all throughout this conversation. You don't have validity.

[nella965]

Your blocking me also signifies that you can't argue with me because you know I am right. I have hurt you to the core. Have a nice day!

[BeMuse]

Me blocking you means you are not worth talking to. That is all. If you had value then you’d be listened to, but you are a worthless individual that contributes nothing.

[BeMuse]

You are not entitled to people's attention. People do not have to listen to you nag, bitch, and spew crazy shit. If you want to do that then go pay a therapist you loony toon.

[MzAsh]

For one, more women are waiting until later this have kids than they were in the past.
Another reason is that women believe the exaggerated claims they are much less fertile once they hit 30. They go off the pill thinking it’s fine and they won’t get pregnant, then surprise, they get pregnant. This is why unplanned pregnancy and abortions rise in women in their 30s and 40s. While it’s true that fertility begins to decline at around 27 most women are still considerably fertile in their 30s and into their 40s.

[The_Maphio]

Beauty starts to fall apart shortly after 35 years old. Plus at that age many have had stories that left them emotionally scarred or with children in tow.
As that age is basically just a decade in the entrance in the workforce, it's safe to assume that men are pretty absorbed in their professional efforts and want some free time for themselves, or with somebody that knows, or shares their pastimes. An emotionally "damaged" woman or children came from nowhere is a great way to ruin one's life. Thus why such women are held off as not desirable.

[nella965]

well more women in their 30s are giving birth than women in their 20s so I suppose many of these 30 something yr old women can get men.

[nella965]

Later birth age, means that women are likely to be marrying later in life.

[KrakenAttackin]

These women rode the cock carousel long and hard in their 20's than hit 30. Upon reaching 30 some still rode the carousel but eventually realized they need a Simp/Cuck to pay for their bad judgements. So these women find a guy who they really despise, marry him, have a baby or two, all while doing everything possible to undermine their marriage to Mr. Simp.

Fast forward a decade or so and the woman decides she "deserves more", so she divorces the Simp, takes the kids, and all of the government mandated cash and prizes.

Any questions?

[nella965]

whats your point?

[KrakenAttackin]

@nella965. The point is obvious to everyone but you.

[nella965]

your comment doesn't answer my question though

[nella965]

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years

[Steinkopf]

Eventhough women are more attractive in their 20's women in their 30's are still fking hot. It falls off maybe in the 40's. We can't conclude from your data that women in their 30's are most desireable since they don't take much into accout like financial situation.

[nella965]

do you realize most 50 yr old men have no interest in 25 yr old women? sure he may bang her, but he will never marry / date her. I had a 50 yr old man tell me this.

[Steinkopf]

I don't know about that every guy that has more to choose from like celebreties or rich men seem to prefer the young women.

[nella965]

i don't think rich old guys would still be with any young women , if they weren't rich.

[Steinkopf]

I agree.

[PinkHamster]

It’s a sick theory that some silly people made up to convince others that women are only sexual and beautiful in their 20s and after that they’re useless. 💕✨
but guess what? We are all sexy, beautiful and desirable from our 20s till we are 80s.

[LZPanzer]

Having a kid means a lot of responsibility those who wait are often more mature individuals. People often reach a stable lifestyle by early 30s.

Usually if you are ready to have kids you have been in a long term relationship. The relationship lilly started in the mid 20s or late 20s.

If a woman hasn't found a committed partners by the early 30s it's a sign she isn't the best partner for a guy, and may have serious character defects.

[nella965]

A woman can have met her husband at 30 then had kids at 34. It doesn't always mean the relationship started in her late 20s.

[nella965]

But I think the age limit for being defective is 35. There are many women who have found love in their early 30s

[LZPanzer]

There's more to it. It also has to do with male development.

Women are mentally fully developed by their early 20s while men don't fully develop mentally till their mid 20s

So when the men finally finish developing is when the women start getting into committed long term relationships. Men also dontreach stability until their early 30s. By this time to woman has been ready for children for about 5 to 10 years

After the early 30s I he women that remain single are the ones guys see as poor mates

[nella965]

Just because women matured earlier, it doesn't mean they had more time to date. Dating takes time to find the right person. You would have to date multiple people to find the right one. If both men and women start dating at 24. And they both ended up still being single at 34. Both only had 10 years to date. so why would it really matter who matured earlier?

Most men and women date the most in their 20s because this is when their social lives are booming and everyone is single. Then dating tends to decrease into early 30s since their social lives have decreased and many of their peers are no longer single.

Dating does not get better for both men or women in their 30s. People in their 20s have more active dating lives than people in their 30s. I have done my fair share of online dating with guys in their 20s-30s. I can tell you that its guys in their 30s who lack dating action.

[LZPanzer]

Guys also have a defective age it's usually early 40s.

[nella965]

You can chose to see women in their early 30s as poor mates. But I have seen many women in their early 30s find love. My mother met my dad at 34. And they have been married for 30 years.

[nella965]

You have no proof of why men defective age is early 40s. I think the age is 35 for men too. I have met a lot of bad seeds of unmarried men 35 and over.

[LZPanzer]

@nella965
In order to raise children successfully both partners have to be mature enough to sustain a stable relationship. Thus the side that reaches maturity later is the gate keeper.

Men may date just as much as women in there early 20s the difference is men aren't mature enough to handle or form a relationship stable enough to raise a kid.

Men actually are at their most desirable in their early 30s

[LZPanzer]

I'm speaking of generalities about the human population. It's based on human physiological development
Or men and women develop differently through puberty. Which isn't fully complete until mid 20s

Individuals may not conform to the mean. They are called out liers statistics speacking

[nella965]

According to research and statistics, most men only end up marrying women 0-5 years older.

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[nella965]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conway-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.

Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[nella965]

so no, according to statistics, most 23 yr olds are not dying to date 33 yr olds. Sorry.

[LZPanzer]

I'm not saying 23 yo are going after 33 yo men.
I'm saying women waste a lot of there 20s dating men that aren't ready and under developed.

[nella965]

I think dating is a learning process for everyone, not only women. Its not only women dating the wrong people. Men date the wrong people too. I don't think i would have to explain that to you. Its common sense. Not everything is gender specific

[LZPanzer]

I'm saying the development stages for men and women. This results in the earliest time period for both sexes to be ready to raise children being in the early 30s you can further draw out the development cycle to find out when both sexes go beyond their prime.

[nella965]

Just because women matured earlier, it doesn't mean they had more time to date. Dating takes time to find the right person. You would have to date multiple people to find the right one. If both men and women start dating at 24. And they both ended up still being single at 34. Both only had 10 years to date. so why would it really matter who matured earlier?

[LZPanzer]

They had the same amount of time to date. That is correct. Women are able to recognize when they have found mr. right much earlier than men are able to recognize ms right. If the man can't recognize he found ms right he won't enter into a stable relationship.
If both partners can't recognize each other, a stable relationship won't start.

[nella965]

women are no faster at recognizing mr right than men are. You're just making shit up.

[LZPanzer]

That's exactly what Im saying men in general do not have the mental faculties to make long term planing decisions because that part of the brain is one of the last parts of our brain to get rewired during puberty.

[nella965]

I think you're just a misogynist making shit up.

[LZPanzer]

What was misogynistic? All I'm staying is men and women develope at different rates.
Men develop physically first and mentally second.
Women develop mentally first and physically second.

[LZPanzer]

Beyond that it's socioeconomic influences that determine things

[nella965]

because nothing you have said makes logical sense. Just full of random assertions without logical explanation

[LZPanzer]

You may not understand what I'm saying. I'm not the best of communicators. I'm talking about a rather complex subject and I'm pulling from my own knowledge base. Something I think may be simple and not worth explaining could be the key to understanding what I'm trying to say

[nella965]

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years

[TadCurious]

This is a meme that's prevalent in the incel/MGTOW subculture. It's based on their bitterness and lack of social skills and of course it's completely false.

[Not_Average]

Older women a lot of the times treat dating as a interview rather than a mutually enjoyed vibe. Men are naturally the dominant one in a relationship, and older women are less malleable. They’re more stuck in their ways and are less willing to submit to particular areas in the relationship. They also tend to have more baggage that they carry on into new relationships. I’m sure there are outliers but this has been my experience dating older women.

[nella965]

older men tend to date older women. Younger men tend to date younger women. Statistics show this.

[RingOfFire]

"why are there more 30 something yr old women giving birth than 20 something yr old women? Obviously they must have boyfriends or husbands to have kids with."

"If women are birthing later in life, then it means they are also likely to be marrying later in life."

This is where your case fails. Almost 3/4 of black babies are born without their parents being married. More than 1/2 of Hispanics, and about 1/3 of whites.

[nella965]

Most people have kids with boyfriends or husbands.

[RingOfFire]

Right, but your conclusion "If women are birthing later in life, then it means they are also likely to be marrying later in life," doesn't necessarily follow the logic you laid out.

If you are talking about black women, for example, since about 3/4 of their children are born when they are not married then you can't draw any inference that they are likely to be marrying later in life. In fact there is no indication from that statistic that they are marrying at all and marriage doesn't have a strong relationship with having children for them.

But this is only a critique of the logic in your comment. The fact is that those people who do get married are doing so later in life these days than they did in previous generations. That has been a trend for several generations. When my parents were married, most women were either married by 20 or considered "old maids."

[nella965]

There was no indication in the article that mentioned a particular race of women birthing children without husbands or boyfriends. This article is just making a reference to the female gender as an average of all races. Historically, black women have always birthed kids without boyfriends or husbands, even during the 1990s, where more women in their 20s birth kids than in their 30s

[RingOfFire]

I don't think we are really disagreeing. I agree with your conclusions. The only thing I wanted to point out was what I see as a logical flaw in your analysis... even though I agree with the conclusion. I didn't do a very good job of explaining it, and it's not an important enough for me to reiterate. So thank you for the post and have a good day! 🙂

[nella965]

i think you have failed to prove that i had any logical flaws whatsoever. Claiming that you are correct , does not make you correct

[nella965]

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

[Anonymous]

I find a lot of older women more attractive, but I think that's more the exception to the rule. Looking at it coldly, the majority of women will be much more attractive when they are in their 20's, than when in their 30's.

Women having more children is not an indicator of their attractiveness because a lot of women settle for the men (provider) they can get, as opposed to the attractive man they want.

[nella965]

So why would men settle for someone they don't find attractive?

[Opinion Owner]

The simps still find those women attractive. It's the men she considers to be of higher value that do not.

[nella965]

I think its only a matter of time before men like you realize that you will never ever be able to get the hottest girls too. One day when you're still single by 35, you will settle for a 30 something yr old woman.

[nella965]

there is always going to be more physically attractive people walking around. But it doesn't mean you can get them. And looks also really aren't everything. Once you meet the love of your life, you wouldn't trade them for the hottest girl on earth. This is what you call REAL LOVE.

[Opinion Owner]

As I said, personally I tend to find older women more attractive. But from a purely logical point of view, I think this is more the exception, rather than the rule. Also bear in mind that this culture promotes ego driven desire, rather than love. The collective is egoic, rather than led by the true self that looks within, before it looks without.

[nella965]

I think that most people eventually settle if they don't want to stay single. Because after your 30s, the chance of you finding love is even lower.

[AmeerX]

I think it is not as straightforward.
And yes younger women have far higher chance at finding a partner who is serious about marriage then older women. Older women in their 30s can't find many as their become less and less desirable from a family point of view. Of course it is not to say they are oit of the marriage potential but it is just why would a guy choose a older women delibrately if he can get a younger girl to marry him through money and so on

[nella965]

how are older women less desirable if more women in their 30s are giving birth than women in their 20s? Chances are if a woman is pregnant, she has a boyfriend or husband.

[AmeerX]

True but the point is that girls saturate the market as more and more girls enter maturity.
Believe me when I say competition gets high for them. What is happening is not that women in 30s are giving birth only but the fact that the boyfriends and husband they have are for long time and they waited to give birth to their children a little late. The younger women were already taken

[nella965]

I doubt that a woman who married at 25 would wait until 31 to have kids. I highly doubt it.

[nella965]

Kids usually come 1-3 years after marriage.

[nella965]

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

[AmeerX]

You should also check the standard deviation of thàt data

[nella965]

Average age of marriage is 31 for women. This means that overwhelming majority of women marry a few years prior to 31 and a few years after 31. Bell shaped distribution.

[TheBigGuy9]

Some people say that. They say it because they truly cannot resist it. They all like 18 and over. Though in some states, like Pennsylvania, it goes down to 16. I’m not going into more detail than that. You know why they like them.


My advice? Stay in Damn good shape, take care of your skin, be successful and you’ll do just fine.

[nella965]

Later birth age, means that women are likely to be marrying later in life.

[TheBigGuy9]

I have no idea what you’re talking about

[ChrisMaster69]

Women often improve with age.. or still look as hot

Enough said really, not bad for 55...

[Sam854647]

Geeze she's hot.

[TikiTook]

I don't know I think women in their 30s are in their prime

[Ms_Vanderquack]

People say all sorts of stupid shit, why are you even paying attention?

[FilmGuy93]

Do people say that? I've only ever heard women ask if it was true. I've never heard anyone, guys especially, ever say that women in their 30s are less desirable.

[jshm2]

Nope. Most are going for IVF with unknown sperm donors.

[nella965]

i doubt most women are going to sperm banks.

[nella965]

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

[Anonymous]

I think it’s because they assume that 30 year olds all look old and saggy. Men like beauty and youth and women who are now in their 30s are not in their prime so that’s why. BUT not every 30 year old looks like a “typical” 30 year old, meaning they look young and are not yet aging (genetics), such as in my case. I look 22, but I’m 31 this year, so I attract every man regardless how old they are, but I’m not interested because my boyfriend is enough for me lol

[RedSauce]

They are taking the idea that the human body starts to breakdown around your 30s to the extreme

[Anonymous]

They have SIMP husbands and want to have kids. Most women in their 20's don't. But a woman's SMV value goes to 0 by the time she is 30, and for many it is 0 long before that.

[pigoat]

So you say people say this but do the opposite

Who cares what they say then

Actions speak louder than words

[Sam854647]

I think the opposite. Oldest girl I've slept with was 40 and wow she was amazing. I felt her more than I did with a 20 odd year old. He name was Michelle.

[slatyb]

People? Maybe 20-something guys. From here 30-something is young.

[Massageman]

These are people who haven't yet come to understand- yet alone put a value on- experience, patience, and wisdom.

[Wise4myage]

Beats the hell out of me. I think the exact opposite, but people are entitled to their own opinions.

[nella965]

what if their opinions are wrong?

[Wise4myage]

They probably are wrong in some instances.

[princeofromance]

Because, Beauty fades with age. There is also the factor of them not being able to have children after the age of 35

[nella965]

So why are older uglier women having kids and not younger prettier women?

[OlderAndWiser]

Because they are too young!

[nella965]

compared to you, everyone is young.

[OlderAndWiser]

Not EVERYONE, but almost. Methuselah has me beat by a few years.

[Massageman]

Hey- I'm older- not wiser, but older.

[KrakenAttackin]

@nella965. You are obsessed about age. @OlderAndWiser brings a lot of wisdom and positivity to GAG.

[OlderAndWiser]

@KrakenAttackin I appreciate your supportive comments!

[KrakenAttackin]

@OlderAndWiser. My words are the truth, you are a good man.

[nella965]

@KrakenAttackin Aren't you the one with murder fantasies and practice black voodoo?
I never knew you appreciated any positivity in any sort of way.

[Ripper_E]

I don't know. I find women 30 and above attractive.

[Anonymous]

I think that the majority of the are desperate and either accept of lesser man or visit a sperm back. It is sad really because some of them were quite beautiful in their early twenties

[nella965]

As men age, they tend to settle with a lesser woman too. The hot chicks digging you at 30, won't be digging you at 40

[Opinion Owner]

ok, then I should find my love now

[jahaims]

You don't need to be married or have a boyfriend to have kids.

[nella965]

I'm sure overwhelming majority of people have kid with boyfriends or husbands.

[Anonymous]

Women in their 30s give birth to retarted kids or spectrum kids

[Bellatris]

Yes, that's actually true. The older the parents, the more likely it is that a child they have will have autism.

[Twalli]

@Bellatris actually it's mostly the father's age for asd.

[nella965]

@Bellatris my mom birthed me at 37 and my brother at 40. we both turned out fine.

[Bellatris]

Yes, you turned out fine, because I said "more likely", not "it's a certainty".

[nella965]

@Bellatris there is no certainty that all kids born to 20 something yr old mothers are healthy too. I have seen autistic kids born to 20 something yr old moms too. Some 20 something yr old moms can even have a complicated birth requiring surgery and extended hospital stays.

There is no guarantee for anything in life. Don't think that if you birth all your kids in your 20s, they will all turn out fine or be smooth births. Anything can happen. You must be open minded to it. Nothing is set in stone

[Twalli]

I got Aspergers. My dad is 6 years older than my mom he was 38 when I was conceived, 39 when I was born. October (him) May (me) do the math.

[nella965]

@Twalli Might not necessarily be the age of your parents that caused it. I have seen women as young as 29 give birth to autistic children.

[Opinion Owner]

Or your dad or moms genetic are trash.
If we compare the autsik rates if 20s vs 30s we all know which one is higher.
It's not a guarantee but the chances are lower

[nella965]

@Opinion owner, People also tend to forget that many of these conditions may even be genetic.

[Twalli]

As a man ages the likliehood of mutations in his sperm increases. As that number increases the likliehood that a mutation that could cause an ASD is higher

[mistixs]

www.nytimes.com/.../...tism-and-schizophrenia.html

[nella965]

@Twalli There are many kids born to older parents who come out perfectly fine. Stop talking as if every kid born to older parents is doomed to be retarded

[Twalli]

I am not, just saying statistically the older the fathers is the higher chance the child is on the Autism spectrum. I got it, my sister didn't and she's younger than me. I don't se myself as retarded. I mean, I got a degree.

[Twalli]

I think it means in terms of dating. Most 30 something women already got a man

[nella965]

A woman can meet her boyfriend at 33 and have kids at 36

[nella965]

Later birth age, means that women are likely to be marrying later in life.

[Twalli]

Yet it's less likely

[nella965]

well later birth age means women are marrying later in life, regardless if you like it or not.

[Twalli]

I don't mind my girlfriend is 35. Granted we don't plan on having kids if we get married, but she's still past 30 and was when I decided to date her.

[nella965]

If a woman truly wanted children, she would have kids by 40.
Women are not like men. Single women can have children. Single men can't have children.
If a woman is 40 and doesn't have kids, it can be assumed that she just didn't want them.

[nella965]

In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years

www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage

[Anonymous]

Women in the 30's are usually at, or close to their prime.

[WowwGirl]

I don't know I've gotten better not older in my book

[WowwGirl]

Yes we do everything later because we go to school now instead of marriage after high school

[Romeocuck]

Only foolish people say that. We all know that women are like wine getting more desirable as they get older

[Anonymous]

younger people are usually more beautiful and more healthy

[Lostguuy]

I don't know I think women in their 30s are very desirable

[magiusX26]

thats taking things out of context. the less desirable 30 somethings are single women where as the majority of 30 something women giving birth are from already commited relationships/marriages.

[nella965]

If most women are birthing in their 30s, this means most women are likely to be marrying in their 30s.

If most women married in their 20s, then they would likely have kids in 20s

[nella965]

Later birth age, means that women are likely to be marrying later in life.

[magiusX26]

not really. plenty get married at say 26 but dont get preg till something like 33 either by pure chance not getting preg or by limiting between the couple to wait till some other goal is reached before having children such as some set $ anount in the bank, a house paid off (or at least mostly paid off), and (very commonly) a certain degree of success at work for one or both in the couple.

[nella965]

I doubt most people wait 6-8 years to have kids. Most married couples have kids within the first 3 years of marriage. The last time I checked, the average age of marriage for a woman was 31

[modelUN242]

Because they settle with beta simps?

[nella965]

i thought you were settling too. religious people always settle.

[nella965]

your husband will cheat on you with a younger woman too, once you hit 40.

[modelUN242]

I’m younger by 8-9 years so no. Plus, we’re waiting until marriage. So hell no with those statistics!

Everyone will always settle, what’s your point?

[modelUN242]

And men would probably cheat if you become fat, mean, or a serial nagger?

[nella965]

Because you're a misogynist. Misogynists believe that women only have value while they are still young, fertile and beautiful. Just wait until you are old, saggy and infertile. Lets see if your misogynistic husband will still stay faithful towards you

[modelUN242]

I’m a woman lol, that’s lame to call me that. And you’re a misandrist since you probably drive men away? You’re gonna be old, saggy and infertile too? Just like everyone? And misery loves company. The fact that you posed this question makes you insecure.

[nella965]

I have seen all your writings all over GAG. My conclusion about you is that you are a misogynist. To you, women hold no value other than fertility and maintaining their hot bodies. Women have no value other than beauty and being housewives. Very typical misogynist BS.

And I will be honest with you, a man who won't date / respect women over 29, won't respect you either as you get older.

[nella965]

So its about time that you stop shit talking about women in their 30s and show some respect. Imagine what will happen to you when you turn 40 and lose your beauty. Would your husband start cheating?

[modelUN242]

Why should I listen to a feminist who’s about to hit the wall? I don’t want to end up being a bitter cat lady. And don’t police my writing. I’m honest about what I say, and you clearly have issues that you aren’t honest about.

[modelUN242]

How can I show respect to 30 year olds telling me I should be slutting it up in my 20s. I don’t want to ruin my life.

[modelUN242]

Why are you obsessed with cheating? You know women can do it too? And there are many women in their 50s and 60s who look good for their age.

[nella965]

why do you love mocking women for hitting the wall? where did you even get that from? I'm 25, I still have YEARS before I hit the wall. You love mocking women for "hitting the wall" because in your head, women have no value other than fertility.

You think being a misogynist is great? I would LOVE to see the day your husband cheats on you with a young beautiful fertile young lady when you hit 40. I would just love to see your reaction.

[modelUN242]

You shouldn’t generalize all men like that lol. And tbh women who are still single in their 30s probably have mental issues.

[modelUN242]

Why are you so evil? Wow...

[nella965]

For me, I plan on marrying a man who respects ALL women , young or old. I don't want to marry a man who only likes to date 18 yr old girls. If he is not attracted to me by the time I am 30, how are we going to maintain a marriage for the rest of our lives? How am I supposed to trust that he will stay faithful to me?

I am not looking for a shallow man who sees women as nothing more than sexual objects or baby machines. I am looking for a man who sees inherent value in women. I am looking for a man who sees love as first priority, not looks or money.

[modelUN242]

Well, you’ll probably cheat on him lol since you’re sleeping around already. You’re gonna make him insecure and emasculate him.

And umm, my boyfriend has dated women his age but they were pretty nasty lol.

[nella965]

Your husband will cheat on you because he's a misogynist. Misogynists see no value in women other than:

1. beauty
2. fertility
3. pussy

Just wait till the day you lose all 3, your husband will tell you that you are useless.

[modelUN242]

Feminist men can cheat on you? Any guy can, you sound stupid...

[nella965]

At least my feminist man won't cheat on me or dump me by the time I am 40.

And chances are by the time your 40 and divorced your cheating husband, no misogynistic man will look your way because your face is just so old and ugly. Why date a 40 yr old if you can chase a 18 yr old girl? Sure it may be harder to get an 18 yr old girl but looks are everything right?

[modelUN242]

Uhh, first of all, most women aren’t attracted to feminist men. Why do you think 50 Shades was so popular? Secondly, my boyfriend is very loyal, we talk everyday and he has never cheated in his life. We both trust each other and I think he’s the best man I could ever have. We support each other through tough times. I also believe that it’s unfair to let ourselves go and he both agreed on this. We both want to be attractive to each other.

[modelUN242]

Also, cheating men usually did casual sex or hookups when they were younger. So ya, my boyfriend has never done that.

[nella965]

most women are not attracted to men who only date them because of their beauty or hot bodies or fertility. Most women are not interested in men who talk to women as if we are inferior. So i don't know why you're saying that all women like misogynistic men. Women like men who treat them respectfully. Women like men who date us because they value us as individuals, not our hot bodies or fertility.

A man who only dates you because of your looks, will only dump you once your looks are gone. So be very careful who you marry.

Of course every relationship starts off with rainbows and roses. Its not only after marriage where you finally start to see each other's flaws and true colors. Everyone puts on an act prior to marriage. You don't see the ugly side of them until after marriage.

This is what naïve, inexperienced girls like you do not know.

[nella965]

Having prior sexual partners is not an indication someone will eventually cheat in marriage. Cheating has to do with an individual's morals rather than sexual history.

But a bigger risk factor of eventual cheating is marrying a misogynistic man. A man who sees no other value in women other than fertility and beauty. Oh its VERY VERY RISKY to marry this type of man.

[modelUN242]

Umm, we have talked about deeper issues, and no my boyfriend doesn’t value looks that much. I don’t either. Also, I prefer older guys because guys my age aren’t serious.

[nella965]

From reading you have wrote on here, I personally know that you are a misogynist. Religious conservative people tend to be misogynists. And the thing is: misogynistic women tend to marry misogynistic men.

[modelUN242]

Why are you obsessed with cheating? Have you been cheated on? I choose guys wisely anyways and we’ve both been very honest with each other.

[nella965]

ohh I am not obsessed with cheating. I'm just telling you about the realistic consequences of marrying a misogynistic man who sees no other value in women other than fertility and beauty.

[modelUN242]

Why does that bug you? I hate feminism and feminists are miserable people. I’ve attended public schools where feminism have dominated and it’s been a shitshow. And no, I grew up atheist, I only came to Christianity 2-3 years ago.

[nella965]

hun, I am not the miserable one on here. You're the one posting hostile passive aggressive answer to this question. You don't go around name calling everyone on GAG who aren't misogynists. You show respect to other people.

And if you are going to continue disrespecting others on GAG, you're gonna get people who are going to shit on you right back.

[modelUN242]

Thanks for the advice but I’ll take the risk.

[modelUN242]

You’re the one asking why do “people” aka men think women are undesirable in their 30s. You already know the answer, but that shows your anger.

[nella965]

Its quite funny because its the anti feminist or misogynists that usually are the ones doing much of the name calling and hostile rudeness on here. Then they always try to say that feminists are the angry ones. No we are not. You're the one going around being disrespectful to people.

[modelUN242]

This is the Internet, deal with it.

[Arabella_Rose]

"You’re the one asking why do “people” aka men think women are undesirable in their 30s. You already know the answer, but that shows your anger."

Well I already have evidence that women are marrying later in life which is why moer women in their 30s are giving birth in their 20s. so why would I be mad? Older women are marrying and giving birth at a greater rate than younger women.

I think this MAKES YOU MAD which is why you were name calling on here.

[Arabella_Rose]

And nice try at blocking me. because you knew you can't prove me wrong.

[EaterPeter]

They are full or bull.

[EaterPeter]

They are full of bull.*

[JamieLoves]

They’re all crazy and most have kids...

[Guardian45]

I don't know. Why?

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Idiots, do