I personally think that it is, cause 35 + yo men want the 20-25 women but the thing is that these women tend to want men that are 5-7 years older than them max. Now I’m not talking about the rare couples where the man is older cause it’s usually because he have money and statu, what I’m talking about is the physical attraction and the chemistry that women seek.
I’m 21 and it really bothers me when I see men in their mid 30’s thinking that they have a chance with me and my friends, cause life would be easier if they wanted women their age. The problem is that most men don’t want to settle down when they’re young and when they’re ready to get married it’s in their mid to late 30’s with a woman a decade younger than them that usually either settled for them and cheat on them with a younger man or if they have the money it would be with a gold digger that would also cheat on them with a younger man.
My other question is, if most men know that young women prefer men their age ( and a little bit older like 4 years) then why are they persisting into wanting them?
Do you think older men wanting younger women and women liking men their age is a problem in the dating world?
tbh, a woman in her 30's that is dating, is usually divorced with kids.
She has a lot of emotional baggage, an ex or exes as baggage, and if she has kids, the custody thing is a pain. And if they had kids, the body is "worn" and they dont have the figure they did in their 20's. Or some do, but they are rare.
Men in their 30's are usually never married, want a good hot looking woman, don't want to deal with some other man's baggage, tire quickly of a woman going on and on about how much she Hates Her Ex, she wants to buy this or that, etc.
and the guy really really hates having to "compromise" on weekend dating when she has the kids or worse, has to drive 100 miles to drop the kids off with her Ex.
To me, i guess i am lucky. My husband is 19yo older than me, looks mids 30s (he is 46yo), and while i am only 27yo, i look older because i had a very rough life and i look older and kinda worn around the edges.
But i agree, most women in their 20's want a guy about 4 years older or younger to date. They don't like a guy in his 30's "bossing" them around, "telling them they KNOW all this stuff", and most the guys i dated in their 30's were letting themselves go.. beer bellies, not exercising, not caring what they looked like.
This is accurate, but also some women like older men as well, as noted in a number of questions asked on this site.
As a 35 year old guy, I want someone my age, but she has to have no kids, be a nerd/geek, a hardcore gamer, an artist, an atheist, and love anime/cartoons, science, sci-fi, and fantasy.
What are my odds at this point that I won't be forced to date someone who is mid to late 20s to even find that combination in a woman?
3. don't use the internet as a statistical analysis or news source.
4. statistics regarding preferences are useless because of variables.
5. most of my friends who are my age have parents who have much larger age gaps than 3.5. (usually 8+ but less than 16) and I'm sure depending where I looked and what year it was, I could find average results that are higher or lower than that do to the sheer randomness of personal preferences in humans.
6. My question was how commonly you came across 35 year old women who fit the personality type I mentioned above. Not how many younger women like older men. I'm not interested in statistics on the latter, every woman that ever hit on me (and its a lot) was younger than me by more than 3.5 years with the exception of two of them being older than me by 2 years, finding younger women who like me is too common to worry about that statistic, it's finding ones my age who like me thats hard.
@TheSpaceGnome Statistics hold more validity than just one person going by the age gaps of how old his parents or friends are. These statistics are found through analyzing huge populations all across many different areas.
My parents are the same age. My neighbors married couples are all anywhere from 4-7 years apart. None are over 10 years age difference. All the women in my family such as aunts uncles are married to spouses that are just 2-6 yr age difference
go out into the street and take a look yourself. Do you see most young women dating 40+ old men? NO
You will see always see young women dating young men
Sorry but no, statistics are useless here, chaos theory has way more hold on anything involving personal preferences because of individuality.
Secondly you cannot tell a person's age just by looking at them.
Thirdly most people do not participate in preference studies. in order for it to be accurate you would need nearly everyone to participate.
The only way to observe this sort of thing at all is by personally knowing the people and their ages. and even then you can only make statements about those people in particular.
Don't mistake text for tangible evidence, thats the mistake religious people make.
@TheSpaceGnome you’re just desperately in denial. Looking for every excuse to not believe in the facts.
There is already proof of what women like. Just because you don’t like it, it doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Men hit the wall too. Once you hit 40, start gaining those white hairs , baldness and wrinkles. No young lady would want you. What makes you think you don’t age?
@Arabella_Rose I actually look the same now as did at 14, aging is the result of disease, not time, also you can keep telling youself that I'm just in denial regarding statistics, chaos, and preferences, but it doesn't make it true.
Na. They want what they want and it doesn't hurt dating..
Just wanna say tho. I'm 31 and date multiple girls in the 21-25 range along with girls my age and older. I don't pay for these girls like that or lavish them in gifts.
We get along great and I've had multiple younger girls say outright some version of, "you're the first 30 yo I've been with and it's so much better than guys my age".
Personal opinion that I think has more weight because it's filtered through many people's experience including myself. Girls on average don't really care about a guy being their age or have a real preference with respect to age.
They do want a guy who is in good shape or decent shape.
They do want guys who can relate to them.
They do want a guy who will talk to them more like an equal rather than a guardian, or supervisor.
Find an older guy who has those things and suddenly girls who say they care about age say the age doesn't matter... for that guy. That's because it's not the age. It's the common traits or perceived common traits older guys have in the girls eyes.
Like I don't exclusively go after younger girls. As I said I'm attracted to a variety of women at different age ranges. But I feel very confident talking to girls in the young 20s, not because of my ability to pay for a certain lifestyle or not.
I know I can give a girl a good time, that I'm going to make her laugh, that I'm good company, that I'll make her look good to her friends, that she'll be better off having met me, and that it'll be a positive experience for both of us. I just walk up hoping the girl is cool.
Thats not the issue. The real issue is that men on here don't think they hit the wall too. What makes men think that a 40 yr old man is more attractive than a 30 yr old man? Young women do not tend to be attracted to old guys, out of their prime. Its about time that men realize this. Its just a reminder that you age too.
I think everyone knows that younger people look better. In real life, men take it as a compliment when I tell them they look younger than their age. I have never seen a man think that he looks better as he hits 40. Its just that the misogynists on here like to delude themselves into believing that young women are attracted to old men.
Just because I like older men 5-6 years older, it doesn't mean I also like men 15-16 years older.
@nelly83 I have friends in their 40s who have girls in their 20s throwing themselves at them lmao. Don't get me wrong. I hear you. Yes you get less physically superior with age.
That said. If we're being honest that matters "less" for men because women don't rank physically appearances as highly as men on average. So the "wall" for a guy is substantially different because women prioritize other areas.
@nelly83 like I'm looking forward to being 40 at this point lol. I just want to get my physique to a certain level while it's still easy for me so I'm setup for the rest of my life as in shape old guy with abs.
There's a reason James Bond is in his late 30s and so many girls love him. Because attraction is more than that. 24 yo James Bond isn't as appealing to women
Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conroy-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:
Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them. In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men. Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.
@nelly83 Marriage data is of little use on this subject. In the black community 1 in 4 women can expect to marry anyone so that doesn't account for 75% of an entire race.
Then you go to other races that have higher rates of marriages but divorce is still close to 50% if we're not accounting for age.
That's simply too many people not accounted for. What matters on the subject matter isn't preferences. It's whether or not they find older men attractive, would date them and or have dated them/slept with them.
You can bang the drums all day saying YOUNG GIRLS PREFER YOUNG GUYS! GUYS HIT THE WALL LIKE WOMEN! All you want but that doesn't change it's far easier for an older man to have sex with, date, and marry a younger woman if he chooses to do so.
Does that mean all 20 something women would? Of course not. I'm just saying be honest with yourself rather than having an idea and seeking confirmation bias to prove a point.
@nelly83 you're making individual points that sound good within their own context, been when applied to the broader topic they become irrelevant.
If 100,000 women existed on the planet and 20,000 got married. If you used the statistical analysis of 20% of women to make a claim about 100% of women rather than looking at the 80%... You're being dishonest or delusional.
Preferences are all well and good. But that doesn't mean they would not date outside their preferences just like any man might do so. There's preferences, then there are standards.
A dating preference is not set in stone and therefore you hurt your argument to say this is proof they don't find older guys attractive. If I could choose between Eva Longoria or Scarlett Johannson. I would choose Eva Longoria preferably. That doesn't mean I'm not attracted to Scarlett.
I think it’s about time men like you accept the fact that you do hit the wall too. There’s evidence women prefer men around their age. Sure we like older men, but not old men
@rjroy3 most women are looking for someone they can grow old with. You can’t grow old with someone who is already nearing retirement in 10 years. This is also another big reason why young women don’t prefer much older men
@rjroy3. I’m sure you already very well know that young women tend to date young men. You’re just in denial. Go out onto the street and take a look around.
How often do you see a 25 yr old dating a 40 yr old? Almost never.
I've never claimed that young women do not prefer younger men their age. You both have submitted that yourselves. I've never said that nor made that point. So I'm not about to defend a point I never made an it doesn't make either of you correct to prove or disprove something I never said.
What I did say is that younger women are also attracted to older men. Do they prefer men their age? Sure on average. That doesn't mean they are not also attracted to older men and there's more than enough evidence around to prove that point.
Me saying they like older men too does not mean they prefer them. It just means they like them too and both of you are smart enough to understand that point.
What seems to be the case here. Is that you both don't like the idea that women have a younger age at which the majority of men find them attractive or not. And to assuage those feelings there's a push to put the same thing on men when that's simply not true.
@Arabella_Rose accept it. Don't accept it. I don't really care because it's not something that will affect my life in the future. It can however effect both of you which is why I bothered to even comment on this.
Too many girls have ideas that just are not in line with reality and they pay the price for it when they're older and they're short on time or it's too late. There are plenty of men in their 40s who find love and marry a girl or simply shack up with one. Often younger.
How often does that happen with women in their 40s? Sure as shit not often and many times they mostly get guys willing to fuck but not commit to them. This is plain as day information that is readily available to see.
In 2020, the average age of marriage for female participants was 31, while male respondents married at age 33. The average age of marriage in the US therefore falls at 32 years
@rjroy3 A single woman can have kids. A single man can’t have kids. So if a woman wants kids , there is a very high chance she would already have kids by the time she hits 40.
I feel more sorry for old aging ugly 45 yr old man, single , childless than a 45 yr old woman surrounded by her own family of children.
The older you are , the less likely you are to ever marry. Most of us Young ladies aren’t looking daddies or fat old uncles or grandpas
In theory it could be. So I think the obvious solution is for women to start increasing their age range instead of saddling themselves within a narrow range. And for the women out there who say "I don't understand why they don't go for women their age" there are plenty of reasons, such as:
1) Many women in their 30s are already in relationships so the pool isn't as large as you all seem to think 2) The ones that are single usually have been through at least 1 divorce and have the emotional baggage to show for it 3) People don't walk around with signs on their backs saying their age so you don't know who's your age or not. It's all guesswork and you have to base it on physical attraction, which leads to... 4) A lot of women lose their youthful glow and sometimes more before they hit 30 so their physical attractiveness and sexual value goes down
So if women in their 30s were single in abundance, didn't have baggage, and still looked like they did in their early to mid 20s, then I'm sure lots of guys would gladly be more into them and this little quagmire that you think exists would be less problematic for you.
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Men don’t age better than women tho. They are just allowed to age, when women don’t cause the only thing they are valued for is their looks as if they were replaceable objects.
For high value men, women are replaceable. Replaceable as carpet or tires. Women always want them, and they get to choose who they like. And if you get a bitchy one or the woman ages out, he's just gets the next one. That's the game. Because all you women compete for the 10% of men. So those men can use you and throw you out. But don't get mad, because this is all voluntary. Women don't have to compete for 10% of men but they do. HVM don't have to replace women, but they do. So don't play yourself out with your 'hot girl summer' crap in your 20's, be realistic about your expectations and be a decent person and you won't have these problems.
@nelly83 Of course not. I was not talking about husband material. I was explaining why young pretty women go after these type of men and why they have a seemly endless supply of young, pretty girls.
@Floppy2112 pretty young girls tend to date young guys. Just being honest with you. All this BS talk about 20 yr olds dating 39 yr olds are complete BS
Given my pasted I'd say there is definitely a line what shouldn't be crossed. My boyfriend is five years older than me but before him I was usually dating concerningly older men from as young as 18. let's just say 3 of the men I dated are in there mid 30s now. I think you really have to question a person in their late 20 who wants to date a 18/20 year old. Like what would you have in common and there definitely a power advantage there too. A 18 year old and a 27 year are definitely in different stages of there life. Some of these guys I'm for sure probably lied about there age too and were probably a lot older.
Now I'm 23 I see how I was groomed and manipulated as it would never cross my mind to date a 18 year old now at the age I am.
It seems to be normalised and almost glamourised in Hollywood but everyone knows that place is riddled with predators. a lot of girls think if they date a older the man she'll be looked after for life and will be safe because he must have his life together which couldn't be father from reality. Most grown men who want date girls much younger than them is usually because they don't have there life together and are extremely immature so would rather settle for a girl who's on the same level as them.
Not really a problem, as long as you are clear about your boundaries and they are respectful of them. But the real problem here isn't that they are attracted to and hit on younger women. It's that you don't like older men, so it's inconvenient for you to be hit on by them or you find it disturbing to even have them looking your way in interest. Sorry not sorry, this world isn't just here for your convenience and other people are trying to live their lives. They have no idea about your prejudices until they interact with you, so they can't be blamed. Like I said, it's only a problem if they don't respect your boundaries.
I have dated several women more than 10 years younger than me, and many more are attracted to me. Some women your age aren't into older men, and some are. Again, it's not readily apparent by any outward appearance so the only way for me to see if there is mutual interest is through interacting. I have absolutely thought some young women were attractive and then figured out the attraction wasn't mutual, so I moved on. But that doesn't mean I should or am going to limit myself to only women within plus or minus 7 years of my age.
To answer your question " if most men know that young women prefer men their age ( and a little bit older like 4 years) then why are they persisting into wanting them?" the answer is that your premise is false. I do not know this, in fact I know the opposite, that young women 18-24 are in fact often interested in me and I have dated several. Some for a short time, others for over a year. Not everyone shares your preferences. You will probably start to understand this as you get older, lol.
You're blaming the older men and painting them as predators. What about the younger women who accept the older men? Are they not to blame as well? It goes both ways.
Also, to be fair, younger men are ignored in their 20s because thots nowadays are gold-diggers and attention-seeking whores. So of course they'd go for older men (who have more purchasing power). And the tables are turned when the young girl becomes older and she is ignored while the older guy suddenly gets a lot of attention.
I'm bisexual. But I find I like older women and older men strangely enough. Just that sense of comfort and security just sounds amazing. Being with someone who's seen the world and can take me on adventures and can afford it and know what they want sounds more interesting than someone who's stuck in the same boat as me and is going through life for the timebeing as aimless. I think that maybe it's a feminine quality... the need to feel safe and protected. That's why girls don't tend to like short guys... because they want to feel cared for and look after by someone bigger. It's not sexism though as some people say, it's biology and it's beautiful.
You never know who would be a taker unless they gave it a shot. Many guys like taking care of their women (golddiggers) makes them feel like a real man. All powerful etc.
I understand you I felt the same til I fucked someone 10 years older than me at 19. I felt we had nothing in common and left that guy after 3 months or so because I was so bored. He was hot af too and a big dick. But I left him. I still to this day prefer guys around my age not older. You'll probably feel the same all ur life.
Honestly, I agree bc when I got approached by men in their 30s while I was in early 20s it would weird me out. Now that I’m 25 it doesn’t feel as bad, but I still wouldn’t date a guy in his 30s. It still feels too old for me. My boyfriend is 27 and I love our age gap. I prefer closer in age bc we have more in common and are closer stages in our life.
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Looks like an old delusional man disliked your comment lmao
Well, i've have lots of dates, and i had boyfriends, friends who had much older boyfriend and from my own experience, and what i think is that guys after the age of 30 i take em more seriously usually, because they have experience, the older you get the more experienced you get, i think we usually get attracted by older guys who have more experience in relationships, bc we feel more secure to the fact that there are less chances that you're gonna get hurt. and older men are aware of this fact, so thats why the face younger girls, because they know, and they know that there are very mature young girls, and well, some others are just there for the sex and because they re more naive, they may think the younger the more naive,
I don't think our society is properly adapted to biology. There is IVF but women tend to become infertile from their 30s-40s. Men tend to die younger than women but their reproductive ablities don't die so soon. So you got like the Jason Statham in his 50s dating early 30s girl and they can have a child. It is very difficult to imagine a reverse scenario happening without it being an anomaly and exceptional case.
I don't have a solution; only an observation. But I don't think it is so good to put women through school up until 22+, thrust them into their careers, and face skyrocketing declines in their fertility from 30 onward.
Unrealistic expectations. They like the tightness of a young college woman.
I’ve dated. a 58 year old at 24 and a few in their 40s. A girl I went to high school with was with an older man for some years. She said it was good, but I think they had some arrangement going on lol.
Some men never experienced that young tight body when they were younger. So now when they’re older and got more confidence they think they can get young chicks and it does happen, though it usually comes with a price. It would happen more if not for internet. I’m 40, but I’ve always taken care of my skin, have thick hair, great body. Look about 30. Many men don’t feel old. That’s another one.
To me it’s not age. Well 30 is the lowest I’d go.. It’s maturity, women who workout, have a solid career (preferably 6 figures). I only expect what I can offer as well and everyone else should too.
It’s because men on here like to fool themselves into thinking that just because women like men 5-6 years older , then it also must mean we also like men 15-16 years older. It makes them feel better about aging.
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Ikr? When teen girls say they like older men they’re picturing a hot 22 years old college student not a balding 30 yo man but they don’t seem to get it.
Usually when 30 yr old men are going after 18 yr old girls, its her body that he's going after, not her. he's likely just using her for sex. A 30 yr old would have absolutely nothing in common with an 18 yr old
Not if he wants a younger woman and she wants a sugar daddy. Maybe between the two of them they can make some Sugar Babies.
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They might go for older men like that if they weren't shamed for it. Especially if they're ready for a family because those are the men who can best support a family. Personally, I am talking to a man right now who is 42 and I really like him (and find him very attractive) but im too terrified of what people will think and what names they'll call me 🥰
Then, if you like him as much as you say you do, and it turns out that he's a good man and that the two of you are compatible, you might have to choose between him and them. It's fine to listen to their concerns, and it's even to be expected that your family may not like him (at first); but if they are going to call YOU names because of the guy you choose to be with, sorry, but they're not real family.
As a guy who has dated younger women almost exclusively (I've been with a few my own age or even older, but not my preference), I can say that the outside attitudes are almost always more of a problem than any problems the couple is going to have due to age. It's just social pressure.
I dated a 19 year old when I was 31, and we went to her dad's for Christmas. He straight up told me to my face, "you're too old for her." but all in all he was polite to me and there wasn't any real problem. And as for my girlfriend, she was awesome, very mature for her age and I never thought to myself "she's too young" and when we argued or had an issue it wasn't about age gap.
But if you care about someone and/or love them, then you learn to just not care about the social pressure and the prejudices of society. You just be happy in your own life and let the haters do their hating, it doesn't actually hurt you at all.
The thing is men do like women their age when they're younger. But women their age don't look for them at that age, unless they have money or status. The outcome is men don't bond and grow with women their own age. Those men were left out and they are frozen in a time at a time when they were ignored passed up, that's where their attraction remained. I'm very familiar with that, I was one of those men. No matter what age I was, I was always in the wrong one way or the other. I ended up settling for a life of celibacy.
Most women want men who are older, that is why they consistently marry older men. As time has progressed both genders have equally reduced the age gap between themselves and desired partner, but their is still a gap and again, men consistently want younger women (because of biology) and women consistently want older men (because, again, biology).
I don't see how that makes any difference to you. If men approach you (regardless of age), and you are not interested then just tell them to leave you alone, do not give out any numbers, and just make it clear you are not interested. I prefer women nearer to my own age, but I've lost count of the younger women that have tried to hit on me, or showed interest. I just show them I'm not interested and that's that.
Not really. My own personal experience is that while the majority of women seem to prefer a guy that is only a little older than them, roughly 25% of women are willing to date guys more than a decade older and as much as 10%-15% of women would date a guy as much as 20 years older than they are. Of course usually a guy has to bring something to the table to attract women that much younger than them
It's funny to see how young people think people in their 30s are old, especially since so many people don't have their shit together until their mid to late 20s these days.
As for the actual question, what other people do is none of my buisiness.
I don't see it as a problem as everyone has free will to do as they please and love as they want. It shouldn't be an issue besides what happens with others isn't my business nor would I judge anyone for it.
People only say that online I've never met a girl wanting an older guy, a guy in his 30s is a turn off for me tbh I only like men my age or max a year or two older
@Jamie05rhs They don't want someone their age in their earlier years, say up to 18-25, but older men (50-70) almost always have their shit together as far a financial matters and career, so younger women are usually more interested in them. By younger I mean 40-60. Younger girls, 18-30 are not interested in older men except as a sugar daddy. But you can usually bet your bottom dollar that they will have roving eyes as well.
Wanting a relationship and banging is very different, you can find plenty girls or guys who would fuck older people just to experiment but not many would actually consider them for a long term relationship
@JuliaSyles That's hypocritical. If you're a young woman, you shouldn't reject a young man. You're both in the same cohort. You're in the same generation. The same class. The same team. You should find a partner your own age and work together to achieve your dreams, together.
I think it's only you and a few other people that think it's such a problem. People are attracted to who they're attracted to and people hit on or ask out people all the time who decline. If there is no interest, they'll indicate that and that's that. I'm not sure what's achieved by droning on about this since what and who is attractive can vary greatly from one person to the next. No one is forcing you to be attracted to anyone at all, for that matter.
It's not a issue, just because you want something doesn't mean you get it. If there isn't enough young girls dating old guys they will not be successful and can either remain without a date or loosen their requirements. So it is in the end women that accept and rather want a bit older men that makes it possible. Don't blame the men for taking the best deal.
We're not items. We're people. Those are the same girls that will divorce you and cheat on you with other men more qualified and younger as do some men also. Most of these girls see you as somebody to screw and gain money. They THINK the older you are the more mature emotionally and mentally which is not true. They assume older means rich or privileged. Get your facts, straight people. There is a reason why such relationships are rare because the intent is out of benefits and sex. Period. Young girls today are not caring about all of that. They want the fantasy, not the reality.
No one said anything about marriage. If you are smart you secure your assets by not signing anything like that. And I never said you where items, that you pulled from own ass. The older a woman are the more likely it is that she is a bad deal in some form. That in combination of what men values in a women, make her almost always lose value as her age go up until she really doesn't have anything to offer at all.
It is very much an issue because most men especially when I was a teen or young 20s now that I can say was lusting anyway and many were already dating or married. Most of you men don't even realize many of these women are NOT INTERESTED in you in that way. They want the sexual experience, the master status according to sociology, a way to survive so they won't be shamed in society and money. PERIOD. While your thinking they want you, they are seeking the best men physically, sexually, genetically, and financially possible. It is about genetics. Not about love for these women which is why OnlyFans is so popular. If a man really wanted to love a woman, he would try to have that with any woman who desires to try. We're all adults here. Let's be real and let's be honest. Unless a woman feels your heart and there is a connection, that is a big maybe. Otherwise, she is looking for her best "deal". So if you actually believe that actually BE physically and sexually desirable. Not just financially and other things. These young women are nowhere near the same maturity level mentally and emotionally as older people, that is just reality. For women, it is about the best possible genetic option to increase social status because again in sociology we are born with ascribe status.
So you better think about that and the type of women you're talking about. If the girl is 21 and your 42, and she is with you because you got a house, an expensive car that SHE likes as girls at times have preferences in the car and house a man has, and you make say $130K. That sounds average now because remember, your, not the only guy who makes that amount and now more younger men and women are getting richer than the baby boomers. If she encounters a guy who more sexually and physically attractive than you, has more expensive things than you, holds the same values and desires as her, PLUS makes almost twice as much. Guess who she is going to stay with? The one who has all of that. If she meets a guy her age and also has the same maturity level as you AND the emotional maturity and personality she likes. And he wants her, she's got a winner. Just treat her wrong once, and you're out. She already has a guy lined up while you have to start from scratch. So you better appreciate any woman around your age or a little younger who is WILLING to give YOU a chance.
"No one said anything about marriage. If you are smart you secure your assets by not signing anything like that. And I never said you where items, that you pulled from own ass. The older a woman are the more likely it is that she is a bad deal in some form. That in combination of what men values in a women, make her almost always lose value as her age go up until she really doesn't have anything to offer at all." That's BULL. It is BECAUSE you don't care about marriage, it is BECAUSE you figure the older a woman is the more likely she is a bad deal for some. You think your value is any of that and it's not. It's WHO YOU ARE as a PERSON that determines that. You know why people have the saying "once a loser, always a loser?" It is because either you are a LOSER or a WINNER. You're born that or you learn to gain that. That's it. Your ascribe status means more than your age. Men today do not hold the same value like it was back in the 50s or 60s. It is not those times anymore. Millennials like myself are suffering because of the drastic changes in the family structure that none of us born asked for. What is your ascribed status? What do you have to offer? I told you. It is about GENETICS. If you are not somebody worth procreating with, you won't procreate. Simple as that. It is not about age, etc. But if you have the ability to create a successful offspring to pass on your image. Remember Shakespeare and the Sonnets? THINK ABOUT THIS. Sex is a marriage and marriage is about having sex. So any woman you touched, you made a marriage. That's it. Your ignorance leaves you and whoever involved suffering and your offspring ends up paying the price for your sins. Because you have nothing to offer. That is how serious this is. As a virgin, I have more of a chance at success than you if you are not a virgin yourself. My age is irrelevant if I cannot find a suitable mate to successfully pass on my genetics.
So what if I have a house and earn money, who ever I date would have the benefit from that. So her age doesn't matter. I can only secure that she loses it all if she stop dating me. So why would I risk dating a old potential gold digger instead of a young?
Do you not understand what I told you? A golddigger is a golddigger, doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman, young or old. She is with you for the benefits you have. She is not with you for you. With that attitude, you're wasting your time, and your creating generational curses for yourself if you sleep with that woman. A woman who loves you cares about YOU. She cannot marry or have sex with your house or your money. These days now, we can achieve that and more. So what does your house, finances, etc mean? Nothing. That's what I tell me all the time. If you not straight and Godly, nothing you have would make me desire you. Period. It is a choice.
So to be honest, it is YOU who must question yourself: Why am I dating? Why am I pursuing a woman? What is it going to benefit her? These are questions we all need to ask ourselves as I did while a child. I knew that it was pointless to be dating if there was not going to be love or a purpose. A woman needs to feel and be loved. It is not enough to feel or just be given things, this is why many women start believing and knowing there may be better out there. The same way we need to give you a reason to pick us is the same way you need to give us a reason. Unlike the 16th century, we DO have choices now. And let me tell you something. As beautiful it would be to be married to a loving husband with a family etc. I am more content alone than with anxiety-ridden getting me sick thinking about a man. I don't necessarily blame men per se for this, I blame society who have forsaken the things of God for worldly pleasure. So if you are a man of the world, expect to attract a woman of the world.
You are arguing with yourself, the question was about age as the only factor and there a younger is better period. I have not said anything about my personal dating habits or who I am pursuing. Your just ranting as a old cat woman who lost her chances and is bitter because of it. Stop pulling things out of thin air with nothing to back it up. If you have more then one option you take the best of them and if that parameter is age people that are in their peek age will be picked. Whatever that age happens to be.
"You are arguing with yourself, the question was about age as the only factor and there a younger is better period. I have not said anything about my personal dating habits or who I am pursuing. Your just ranting as a old cat woman who lost her chances and is bitter because of it. Stop pulling things out of thin air with nothing to back it up. If you have more then one option you take the best of them and if that parameter is age people that are in their peek age will be picked. Whatever that age happens to be." I'm not arguing with myself. I have enough knowledge and wisdom besides the experiences as a woman to correct you on many points because you are a man who is selfish and self-centered. You don't even know half of the things your spewing. And it's being done of pure ignorance. What makes it worse is that I am currently studying and researching the history of these things and it's clear your way off base. Age means NOTHING in this regard unless for mental, psychological, and experiences. My parents before my late mother died years ago are a good prime example and they had hell in their marriage in 3 weeks of marriage while pregnant with me. It was HELL. I haven't lost anything nor am I old or bitter and me having cats (which I don't have) or not means nothing. I used you as an example. Which tells me everything you say about me is about YOU. Because you are the one screwing UP your chances. I had opportunities ("sexual ones), but they were not chances. I believe in waiting for marriage to have sex, and not that porn, masturbating, lust filth! Something more than 80% of you DO. You don't want anything serious. So it is you who is bitter. Not me. I was bitter growing up. But I have been abused. I had every right to be bitter. But never have I attacked others because of it. I just avoided toxic men like yourself.
I don't have to take anything because unlike you people I don't TREAT people like options or objects, or things, items to be used, and abused, and take advantage of. I give a damn about people. I have a love for people. I am a giver at HEART. I am not heartless nor will I have somebody like you to taint what I have to offer. God is the one who kept me safe from men like you. It was not to punish me but to protect me. A lot of you are unappreciative of what a woman did. I have seen for years since a toddler what you people. Ungodly things. No amount of love nor care in you. I cannot be with a person like that. If I wanted to be a harlot I wouldn't have had my virginity, could have lost it at 7 if I wanted. I went through puberty early and could have done like the Russian girls at my elementary had done. Had sex at 11 and 12 to 16, 17, 18-year-old boys. And trust me they had sexually attractive men who came from families with money. I'm no whore or harlot. Neither am I a goldiddger. I care about you and what is in your heart and soul. Not your body or what you have physically and tangiable. Sex to me is an act between a husband and wife who wants and desires to love each other and please and honor God both with your body and all of you. Not this-worldly filth and whoredoms you people do. How am I to find such a person when even Christians do the same harlotries? In disobedience to the Lord yet have audacities to ask for a wife or a husband? No amount of righteous judgment yet says only God can judge.
Me spewing, check your reply spamming. I have only said one thing a woman in her twenties are a better catch then a older one. That is all. It's a biological fact. No amount of ranting will change that. As soon as you add more parameters, you can always revaluate the situation but age is rarely contributing to things men like that is also a fact.
Yes, God is the ultimate judge. But if he didn't want us to have the ability to judge we wouldn't know right from wrong or have laws to follow either. So I honestly do not understand what they hell your going on about. I have no personal desire to marry or have sex. It is not my desire personally. It is the desire of the flesh and I have a normal sex drive as a heterosexual woman. At any time if I wanted to lose my virginity I COULD! But I am NOT. Because what God thinks of me, and what I do in this life is what matters. I have to answer to God with my personal choices. He is in control. So what you say to me about that nonsense doesn't apply to me and I will not have man and society try to control my rights as a woman and my rights to exist and live. None of what I had to say was a personal attack on you. But to EDUCATE you about women. Because a woman naturally doesn't think like what you're saying. It is a societal expectation. It is not the expectations of women. We were told to do and to desire and handle things sexually as you were. It is a LIE from satan and the world. I care to love a man. Not to be used by one. All the things in the world will not make you happy.
"Me spewing, check your reply spamming. I have only said one thing a woman in her twenties are a better catch then a older one. That is all. It's a biological fact. No amount of ranting will change that. As soon as you add more parameters, you can always revaluate the situation but age is rarely contributing to things men like that is also a fact." I am not spamming you. I have a lot to say and would speak no different if we were in public one-on-one. I am not afraid to talk to you and to communicate with you. Comments have a limit and therefore I have to abide by the limits of this site. I don't know where you get this idea of what men like. Because from what I found out it is only selfish people and selfish men like yourselves who care about that which is why you have so many sex partners, and all of these experiences and is STILL MISERABLE. Even in your own marriage. What I have to say applies to both men and women. I see the same hypocrisy in the women too. You all use each other to blame each other, and now innocent men and women have to be caught up in your nonsense and drama.
I said it once. I will say it again. We are not catches. We are not items. We are PEOPLE. We are not Pokemon, we are not animals. We are people. If you have no desire to be loved, you go do that. I care about love more than any of that. Thank God there are Godly men who do care and do want to love. You the one that sounds like you not only don't know what love is, is scared to be vulnerable and actually change, you also sound like you don't love yourself. Wich is why you attract the kind of women you attract. Those 20 years old are mostly golddiggers and many of you get what your just rewards are.
You really need to revaluate your own posts. You claim that I post things that is generitions of "men" but how many haven't you spitted out in all these posts. You have no idea what my relationship history look like or how many sex partners I have had. Yet your keep assuming the worst, trying to rant that I am wrong in a fact that doesn't apply to me and so on. And don't bring religion into the picture, that is in my opinion a lack of real argument and going into fiction. And you loose all credibility.
"It's not a issue, just because you want something doesn't mean you get it. If there isn't enough young girls dating old guys they will not be successful and can either remain without a date or loosen their requirements. So it is in the end women that accept and rather want a bit older men that makes it possible. Don't blame the men for taking the best deal." <-- This is my issue with you because your spreading a toxic message.
""You really need to revaluate your own posts. You claim that I post things that is generitions of "men" but how many haven't you spitted out in all these posts. You have no idea what my relationship history look like or how many sex partners I have had. Yet your keep assuming the worst, trying to rant that I am wrong in a fact that doesn't apply to me and so on. And don't bring religion into the picture, that is in my opinion a lack of real argument and going into fiction. And you loose all credibility." i care not about crediability. I care about the TRUTH. And I didn't bring Religion. God is not a religion. God is God. He cares NOT about your religion or any of that nonsense. I care not to argue with you. If your relationship history is anything that goes against God's design look at yourself. For you made those choices. So you are wrong in that regard. Your talking about things you don't really know but only by the experiences you believe and agree with. Women care about being loved and cared for. If a woman only thinks of that, we wouldn't be seeing people dating or marrying. It will just be about sex and a system to raise the children. Because that is the future was heading if not genetically modifying humans which is already happening.
Your posting a false conscious bias based on those who agree with you and by your own interpersonal experiences that causes a generalization of both men and women. I am speaking both from the voices of men and women I have talked to over the years. As I SAID, it is only SELFISH people who think that. And if you include the kind of environment and attachment style theory, those who avoidant attachment styles or who grew up in toxic environments think this way. Most secure people do not and they tend to change from those lifestyles. God created us with a purpose and as a human beings, we have rules and laws as a species to follow as nature, and animals and other races (not the social contract), have their own laws. As in physics, what goes UP, MUST come DOWN. That applies to you, me, and everyone else alive in this world. You are to abide to the laws of the physical and spiritual realm. And if you don't understand what laws your breaking there is trouble. If these things don't hold consequences, we wouldn't have jails, judges, and public retribution. What you choose to do affects your future and everybody else. If you don't give a damn about your life, your entitled to that. But you also have no right to do that to somebody else. So therefore you are speaking out of ignorance as groupthink and herd mentality. So many of you people are toxic. 80% +, men and women are toxic. It is not normal or healthy living. Yet so many of you refuse to change.
Picking a younger woman over a older is not toxic, it's a preference just because you don't agree with it. Doesn't make it toxic and you are selfish and closeminded if you go in and try to change others dating habits. If you don't like older men don't date them. Don't go around argue against people who don't mind dating up or down in age groups. If that makes them happy why ruined it for them. No one should say yes or no except the ones involved. Age is just a number after reaching adulthood and there is so much more important values to go on.
"Picking a younger woman over a older is not toxic, it's a preference just because you don't agree with it. Doesn't make it toxic and you are selfish and closeminded if you go in and try to change others dating habits. If you don't like older men don't date them. Don't go around argue against people who don't mind dating up or down in age groups. If that makes them happy why ruined it for them. No one should say yes or no except the ones involved. Age is just a number after reaching adulthood and there is so much more important values to go on." Again, it is not about preference, BUT WHY? And what IS YOUR INTENTIONS with that woman? As I prefer to not date men younger than me or older than 4 years of my senior I have rational and logical reasons why. Age is NOT just a number after reaching adulthood, because adulthood has to do with the soul and mentality of the person. I have met plenty of men your age and your still nowhere near adults. I don't agree with it because I understand WHY you do so. It is about sex. and your sexual gratifications. It is NOT because you want families or to love a person. Because if that was the case. Many of you would have been married and fathers and stable relationships already and you basically care about chasing skirts and lusts. That is extremely damaging. My late mother and many women I have spoken to as I spoke to one yesterday went through hell. It is not a desirable outcome for women at all.
I don't have to try to change others' habits and neither it is selfish of me to tell people what will give them the kind of relationship and partner they want. There are things one must do and people are doing it WRONG. This is why I am glad I never dated or messed with guys because you people don't care about your choices and what you do. That is not being closed-minded, that is being RATIONAL. It is not about dating up, these people are being lied to and your fueling it which is why so many women have so many partners and can't even keep YOU happy. If people cared so much about happiness, they would be concerned about what rational and logical choices that leads them to have a person successfully which is why many of my friends have done. They have families and been married much younger than you and now I. We are all around the same age. What are you waiting for and wasting your time about? What does an older man do for me? Nothing. There isn't anything in common because we are not compatible. Which is why I tried to teach you and still you haven't learned anything.
Again, these are QUESTIONS ONE Must ACCESS, and many of you caught up on sex, lust, how good you are in bed, whose penis is bigger, who can make one this or that, and you not focused on ANYTHING that traditional people actually concerned about. You just use it to get sex. Period. and who suffers? The children. What it is, you people don't want to sacrifice. You don't want to do the right thing. I could have married as a teen if legal. Who would marry? NONE. Who wanted premarital sex? Plenty. Who suffered as a result? The ones who had premarital sex. Who got hurt the most? Somebody like me but I learned and matured. I gained both knowledge and wisdom. Yet who came looking for me after they did the deed? The ones who didn't listen to me and had your same attitude. Now they believed me and said I was right. You are far from wrong and you don't see the path you're going. God has given me that spiritual knowledge and wisdom to know this which is how I was able to successfully avoid you, men. Again, many of you don't want to do what is hard and put in the work. You're being told lies and statistics can prove this biblically. THINK about why you believe what you believe and the mentality you have. Otherwise, you would have had already. And yet I am certain you do not. WHY? I know why I am by myself. Because I am not fornicating and doing like the rest of you so I am not desirable to the world. That is not my fault. I am following God's rules and commands. What is a nonvirgin going to do for me? That person will never be satisfied because they already went out there and have a standard of what they want sexually because they are how they built their sexuality and sex life. Why should have to pay and be used and abused because I am not enough or isn't enough. I am being "graded" on how I can pleasure a person? That's love? You, people, are hypocrites. The things you do. The way you treat others, I would never do to somebody else.
The intentions doesn't matter, the result is the same unless the intention would be their wealth and resources, which is more women domain then mens. We are fine in earning those ourselves. Want a family, younger is better, want a long relationship, younger is better, want to fuck, younger is better, you might need to tutor them but that hardly a issue. Want beautiful women, younger has best odds again. You can keep going and you will see why younger women wins and has highest value.
What concerns me about you men who believe this, my father especially and he is almost 60, you still haven't grown up. An adult is somebody who doesn't run from their responsibilities, doesn't b*tch, excuse my french, about what they have to do, they don't run from their problems. they do what needs to be done. Am I to rely on a person who won't marry me but wants to once again F*ck me? Am I to rely on a man who wants to have sex but doesn't want the responsibility if I get pregnant? Am I to rely on a man who wants me to move in with him, but he wants legally marry me? Am I to rely on a man who lusts after me but yet expects him to be faithful to me? He lusted after me, so it is obvious he will lust after other women. It is clear he will cheat, he already committed adultery in his heart. My father have told me many of you are lusting after women both while married and unmarried, be it if they are or not. It is clear this is a world of whoredoms. That's a preference? But I thought, you don't want golddiggers? I thought you want a loyal woman? I thought you want a family? I thought you want love? I thought you want a helpmeet? I THOUGHT you want a partner? To grow old together, to do everything, and to live life without any regrets? I guess I was WRONG about men. Maybe you don't want those things. It's just a fantasy you want to like it is for women. Please tell me since you had those experiences, what does it benefit ME? How have those choices benefited you and made you the kind of man you are today? Are the women you been with happy with you? Were you happy with those women? Are you now HAPPY currently in this stage of your life? And most importantly? Do you have no regrets? Can't answer? Who are you to tell me I'm bitter? I'm learning from you and your choices. So far, You have convinced me to continue to stay single.
"The intentions doesn't matter, the result is the same unless the intention would be their wealth and resources, which is more women domain then mens. We are fine in earning those ourselves. Want a family, younger is better, want a long relationship, younger is better, want to fuck, younger is better, you might need to tutor them but that hardly a issue. Want beautiful women, younger has best odds again. You can keep going and you will see why younger women wins and has highest value." Intentions very much matter, and you of all people at your age should already understand this basic fact. If you think this way you are a hater and a user of women. Because if younger women wins maybe you can answer this young woman's question:
Instead of being 42, you sound like an ignorant and immature 12-year-old who never grew up. Who sounds like this? Not only are you misinformed your wrong on so many levels, but it is also enough for people to want to laugh at you because you sound like you know nothing. And I am only being truthful with you. You don't sound 42. You sound like you don't have real experiences and relationships with people and are making stuff up in your head. This also tells me your relationship with women is very poor and negative. I would expect a child to think like this. Not a grown man.
"You want a family," Guess what? Women are now aborting their babies. "want a long relationship," Guess what? That's why many girls young and old don't believe you. They'll believe it when they see it.
First of all, you know nothing about sex. Sex is learned, not taught as is relationships. You cannot teach somebody how to have sex because we are already born knowing how. It is not rocket science. You cannot teach a woman sex because your only showing her how you have sex and what sex is to you. That doesn't show you love her and no, every woman is not interested in F*cking. They are interested in sexual intimacy. If they cared about F*cking that's why many of them become sluts and whores at 13 and have 100s of men. They don't want a relationship. I mean honestly. I am really curious about what are you talking about. Younger doesn't mean better. It is a choice. I can be 70 and still have a choice to love and desire long-term or not. It's not that hard, you just make it complicated.
There is men of all kinds and your as responsible for the situation as men are. Men cannot do things without women going along with it. And just because someone is attracted to other people doesn't mean they will cheat. But there is sure way of making a guy leave you and that is disrespect or not value him. Marriage making it hard for him to leave in such a situation is more likely the cause of cheating, that and women who actually sleep with married men.
Your the type of men and boys I avoided for over 2 decades and thank God, because many of you are a miserable mess and don't want to change. You want to dump your filth and misery on other people because you want what others have. You don't sound a long-term kind of person. Just somebody a woman would screw and keep moving if you want my honest opinion. So by your replies, you know why your single and have the life you have. You think being young is everything but it is not. It is the choices you choose to do now that impact the future outcomes you get. I have friends who desire marriage and have been married at some point. I can tell you that they do not care about all of that. They had similar mentalities about dating older men because again, they falsely assumed older meant better. They learned the hard way that age didn't matter. If your immature, if you don't want to get married and you just want a good f*ck, they will walk. They did just that. They dropped them. It didn't matter if they just started dating in a week. They ENDED IT that same week. They have my respect. I cannot say the same for you sadly.
To learn something, you can be tutor or learn the hard way, it doesn't change that you can teach someone how to be better in bed. You need to tell them what you like and what you prefer and the other way around. It's a lesson you need to practice. Not something you master from a book. If you don't even understand that learning means someone or something is always teaching you lessons. It doesn't come without interactions.
"There is men of all kinds and your as responsible for the situation as men are. Men cannot do things without women going along with it. And just because someone is attracted to other people doesn't mean they will cheat. But there is sure way of making a guy leave you and that is disrespect or not value him. Marriage making it hard for him to leave in such a situation is more likely the cause of cheating, that and women who actually sleep with married men." Yep, your hypocrite. You talk about respect yet you disrespect women. And you refuse to see that. Attraction doesn't mean lusting. I can see an attractive man but that doesn't mean I look or lust. There is a difference. Just because a man is attractive that doesn't mean I want sex with him. First of all, you married, you STAY married. That's it. Men leave not for those reasons. Men leave because they feel they cannot gain anything from the women they marry and because many of you cannot stay monogamous.
I do my duty and am responsible by maintaining myself, virginity and all and respecting men as God commanded and as they desire to be respected. I am not responsible for your selfishness and anger issues and I won't ever again carry your baggage. So no. As I said you have to ask thos equestions I gave as examples for yourself. We are not responsible for what you choose to do. It is our responsibility to be mindful of the kind of men we allow ourselves to be sexually and romantically involved with. Which again, isn't always our fault because many of you are supposed to court and marry us. Not deflower virgins and then won't take responsibility for the debt you cause.
"To learn something, you can be tutor or learn the hard way, it doesn't change that you can teach someone how to be better in bed. You need to tell them what you like and what you prefer and the other way around. It's a lesson you need to practice. Not something you master from a book. If you don't even understand that learning means someone or something is always teaching you lessons. It doesn't come without interactions."
There is no such THING as being better in BED. You cannot TEACH SEX. YOu cannot be a tutor of sex. Sex is YOU. A book cannot tell you that. But the word of God can tell you what sex is. Which it does. There is no hard way with sex unless you get pregnant with somebody who doesn't want your kid, or like what happened with my later mother, ended up with an STD by somebody who lied like your doing right now.
"You need to tell them what you like and what you prefer and the other way around." And this is why so many of you people are sexually miserable. People like yourself who thinks this are not worth having sex with. This is not sex nor love. It's a performance. Sex is not about that which is why your marriage bed is miserable and why many say it 'sucks" to have sex with you. You make a woman HATE HAVING SEX WITH YOU. A lover doesn't do this. A selfish lover does. Thank GOD! I'm a virgin.
"It's a lesson you need to practice. " Uh, no. It is my cue to run for the hills! This man is going to make me sexually miserable!
I am using logic not emotions, I am not in business to defend mens or female actions just being aware that they all exist and that the behavior patterns is quite easy to see, cause and affect and all that. Reward and punishment. Lack of consistency. Since I am not talking about me personally, I can't be a hypocrite. You need to include all parts otherwise the picture is incomplete.
Let me tell you from the experience of one of my friends who went through that in her marriage and she sadly learned the same your saying by not waiting for marriage.
I can, because 1, i wouldn't treat a person like that. If I have sex with a man that is because I love tge man and want to express that sexually. That is why you get married and then have sex. Not out of it. Sex very much can tell you about a person. How you have sex tells a woman about you.
You have no idea how I treat women, so stop claiming that I treat them bad. Keep projecting your bad experiences on people and they will treat you badly and want nothing to do with you. No one wants broken people. No one likes being accused by or be in company of miserable people. So your just forfilling your own vision, by letting yourself be the toxicity.
I can tell by how you're talking to me, how you talk about women, how you explain about sex, and it tells me your poor. I don't have to make assumptions. You're already TELLING ME about yourself, and it doesn't sound good. Your the one who is toxic. And your very much miserable. I'm not miserable over what you think you have. I don't want what you supposedly have which is nothing. Because if that is so true. Where is your woman? Where is your wife?
If you are so good to a woman, where is she? Now unless you picked a woman you tried to love and she didn't care because she wanted to screw around other men, then hey. The problem had to do with who you picked, sadly. If you learned from that mistake, hopefully, you didn't do a repeat. But this conversation alone tells me a different story. It is clear to me it is very different from what your trying o imply. I care about the individual, not this fake mask you try to show the world and society I will see right through you. I can tell what kind of man you are and somebody who is like everyone else, "CONFUSED". And now you're spreading the same confusing and lies that aren't benefiting you at the end of the day. Why do you think I asked you those questions? Because I didn't know what I am talking about? No. I wanted to see where your mind was and you confirmed my suspicions.
Not only are you speaking out of term, but you are also failing to see where you are missing out on important tasks you need to do, and you think you have all the time in the world for women because of your age. You don't. Your 42 years old still behaving like your 24. Even by that time, I would expect a man to be more mature and grown-up than this. What your answers tell me you have yet to improve or grow to the stage you needed to be. This sounds like regression and lack of self-awareness, which if I had a license as a professional psychiatrist, I would have recommended that you go to programs for men to engage in mentorship and theraphy. Because somewhere in your life there is an error in judgment somewhere about women. I guarantee you if you were to give me a full background of your relationship and personal experiences with women plus your upbringing, I can make a full assessment of what is wrong. Because it is clear as day you don't take life seriously and you're screwing yourself UP. But yet, you expect another woman to fool around and mess herself up along with you.
Understand this at 42 years old if you haven't learned this yet. I am 29 and been knew this years ago. Why? Because unlike most of you I didn't waste my time or made excuses about growing up. And neither did I wait for other adults to tell me when I can and cannot learn. What you failed to realize all these years, NONE of anything you say about women, age, sex, etc MATTERS in the REAL WORLD. That is a sick erotic fantasy many of you are caught up in and you project that fantasy in the real world. THIS is why divorce rates and the family dynamic are so low. Now if you knew this and you rejected what was right, then shame on YOU. Do not blame these women or me for your problems.
Real women and good women don't tolerate that. Do you understand? We rather die alone than tolerate excuses and BS. Which is exactly what you're telling me. If I have to tell a man this and he says he wants to be with me, I would be livid. Because the type of man would be wasting my time. At 18 I tried finding work. By 19 I was working full-time. I wanted to go to college but couldn't I was told to find a job. At that same age I became a caregiver all the way to 23. Still had to find work whenever I could. To this day I am a caregiver for a senior, now in college and doing what I had to do. So when random men are asking me out as strangers, don't want to follow my rules on it at least, I was doing REAL THINGS. Like an ADULT. Making my paycheck, handling adult responsibilities.
lol love the answers. Lucky me I "blocked or were blocked by" whomever you are chatting with so I didn't have to see her whining and ranting. Just looking at the one side of the conversation, though, I can infer she's being super emotional and probably borderline abusive, and you're just staying cool as a cucumber and answering all her rants with logic. Love it. Two thumbs up!
No your just making it all up in your mind, your delusional. Because you are so far from the truth that you can't even get simple facts straight. I have no interest in giving you facts of my private life just to prove you wrong. But your wrong, so wrong that it's hard to see how people so distorted from reality can be so oblivious on how much they just makeup instead of validate and double check. If you have no prof of me mistreating a woman. You should shutup and be silent. Accusing people and blaming people with no truth to back it up is toxic and destructive behavior. Not me just stating driving forces of why older men date younger women and why younger women date older men. They are not secrets, you can dislike them as much as you want, it doesn't change how the world tick. It will go on as long as the values remain the same, You can dislike it but it doesn't change the fact that it's the combination that gives both genders highest value of what they usually wants. And we are talking nature and natural selection that has been in action during whole human evolution and probably much further back then that. You can't change that in your life time. People still follow their instinct in some degree.
So my suggestion to you as a woman to a man. BE HONEST about what you are struggling with. Most of us if not ALL of us are struggling with this one way of another and we need to mutually respect each other and the process we are going through. I see, sense, and feel that you not only don't know yourself but you're confused about your place in the world as well as where you fit in in a woman's life. Please heed what I have to say. If you desire true love and happiness with a woman this path your on is no way to go. You're just going to end up in a cycle of failure and misery. You still have a chance, but it is entirely up to you. I cannot tell you how to live your life. You figure that one out.
Zeitgeist057 thanks, I don't believe in blocking, it's just rude. I have not even read or replied to half of her rant. Be glad you can't see the 2-3 long post of rants between each of my replies.
Buddy, you got self-hatred. All that you say is your world. The world ends with You. I don't live in your world. But we are but sharing the same space on this planet. The world is how YOU CHOOSE to make of it. I at least want to see you succeed. What do instincts have to do with anything we are talking about? Nothing. It is clear somebody distorted your reality and you're wounded full of hatred. You world is skewed and broken. That's all it tells me. Because it is clear I am not wrong but you so desperately want me to be wrong. Look, I don't like having to just say things like this. But I do because I care and I want to see you set free from the things that keep you bound and from what is hindering you from fully living. But again, as I said, it is up to YOU. YOU HAVE freewill to choose how you desire to live your life. But tell the TRUTH. Because you're not speaking the truth. You're just speaking out of the world you and everyone else who does so desire. If I am wrong then you should be able to answer those questions. You know why you don't want to answer? It is not because you feel that I don't have to know all because it is none of my business. You right, it is not. BUT, when you want to make blanket statements about women and all of this stuff you put yourself on the spot, and how you live your life will be questioned. Not just judged. I have nothing to hide about my personal life and therefore in a way, I can answer those questions. But it is ironic many of you want to spew this nonsense yet it is not showing in your life it is fruitful or leading to something meaningful.
This is not nature and natural selection. This is a CHOICE we are ALL GIVEN to pick and choose. Unlike animals, we are called higher than that. Animals are animals, humans are humans. So unless you're saying you're an animal, I hope and pray your human. Because humans don't think like that with no conscious. Animals does, and even they have some type of conscious.
Btbc92 that is a terrible advice. First of all, I don't really struggle with anything that she can help with. I have way past that state in my life. My life is easy and comfortable now. The only struggle is the one she would brings into the relationship. I don't like struggling, I solve problems, I don't cause them.
The evidence is in your posts. The evidence is what you're responding to. The evidence is how you respond to me. Everything you do and say and think is a reflection of the HEART. As the word of God says, everything flows from IT. And I'm sorry to tell you, I can sense it. I was at least honest with you. Yet you cannot be honest with me. Or your heart. What your telling me doesn't make sense. You do not have to do the things your saying. But that is something you choose to do. My friends again, who are married and have families can tell you they don't have all of that stuff going on in their marriages and relationships, neither do they want that stuff in their relationships and marriages. Which why they are stable in their marriages and still going strong.
Oh, I know what user your talking about he got blocked for a reason. If you want to block me you can do that, that is your right. All I am doing is talking to you like I tried to talk to that person. He didn't want to hear it either and got into fights because he didn't like what I said on my feeds. I'm sure he can see and read which is why he told you to block me because he can. I am not going to say anymore. It is really sad. I pray women truly find men who are going to love them and not settle for less.
We are animals, animals also have choices, just fewer due to them living closer to nature and it's cycles. If you don't understand your own nature, how can you see the choice and what causes you to pick the outcome. The closer you are to your emotions, the closer you are in acting according to your instincts. Same thing goes for religion, if you let religion dictate your life, you choose to not make your own choice but follow the pack leader, a instinct for pack animals.
Yes, I'm totally grateful. I don't think for a second I'm missing out on anything valuable. And I don't block many people, I'm about acceptance as well. Out of the people I have blocked, over 90% of them are just me blocking people who have blocked me first, out a sense of fairness and equality. If there were any I blocked first, it was just because nothing came out of their posts/replies but toxic trash and I don't care for it. Good luck with this one! :)
It's not terrible advice. And I can truly say that being celibate and never dated ever, I told my friends the same thing before they got married and or finally find the partners they want. Its the facts.
"Btbc92 that is a terrible advice. First of all, I don't really struggle with anything that she can help with. I have way past that state in my life. My life is easy and comfortable now. The only struggle is the one she would brings into the relationship. I don't like struggling, I solve problems, I don't cause them." Here is what your not getting. It is nobody else job to handle your problems. You have to handle that. To blame a woman for things you already agreed to is wrong. Because relationships is about the struggle. It is about learning and growing, and maturing, that is how you going to really get somewhere in life if a partner is what you seek. Not to run from them. Your life may seem easy for now but that is because you're not legally married. But once you have sex, that's it. Problems start. That's okay. That's why God said to get married so you won't have to struggle ALONE. What you don't see is that you are causing your own problems while also doing that to others who may want to love you and truly get to know you. But if you don't really open up and express what your feeling nobody else can really know that. Even as intuitive as I am I am not a mindreader. I can only read what I am feeling and sensing. But if I am uncertain about something I ask. But there is a right way and a wrong way to do and handle things. And I see that you are underprepared to do what you say a lot of you desire and want. You think I want problems? No. But I had to learn to handle and deal with them. Running solves nothing.
"We are animals, animals also have choices, just fewer due to them living closer to nature and it's cycles. If you don't understand your own nature, how can you see the choice and what causes you to pick the outcome. The closer you are to your emotions, the closer you are in acting according to your instincts. Same thing goes for religion, if you let religion dictate your life, you choose to not make your own choice but follow the pack leader, a instinct for pack animals."
@Adam1978 We are not animals. Religion doesn't dictate my choices. God has given me free will to choose. I am free to pick any man I see myself being with, I am free to choose the college major I am interested in, I am free to do many things. Yet I still do it God's way to the best of my ability because he created us, he knows the right way and what is best. He is a father, a parent, not just God. He is more. Religion tells you to follow man's why by taking everything out of context to control you. But God cannot be controlled. Emotions have nothing to do with instincts. I am an emotional person mostly but am equally as analytical. And I can tell you instincts have nothing to do with your emotions. Its intuition. And depending on how you use it, you either have it or you don't. It requires skill, and practice to master as with anything else in life. Life is about growth in those areas. It is up to you, however, to allow it to control you or you learn to become a master of it. I understand my nature as a human being. I understand I have a human nature and sin nature as we as all born with sin. I am aware I am capable of murder, of lying, of stealing or raping and rebellion, and many other things. I can sleep, eat, dream, breathe, have sex, burp, fart, run, jump, walk, hide, hear, see, touch and taste. I know well what it is like o experience those things, however, it doesn't mean I don't know what I am. I am heterosexual female aging as any other female. I am not confused.
Remember what I have told you. Animals as does nature, have their own laws. We have our own. God didn't create us to be animals. We may have similar fuctictions, but even theywere supposed to be with similar laws. Since the time of the fall and sin entered into the human genone, everything got the way it is now. This is why during the time of Noah the ARK represented more than just harboring animals each other their own Kind, it is about safeguarding pure genetics and the human genone. You have to understand they too sadly don't talk much about this in the church which is centered on religion but using the Bible for their purposes. I have a true relationship with God as his child and as I hear spiritually with my spiritual ears so does he communicate with me and I to him. In church they try to stop people from developing these skills and yet according to the word of God is our right to have that communion with God as his creation. As he had created us in his image.
In this world, society doesn't give a damn about you. Either your born to be useful or useless. That is the way of the WORLD. But that is not what God had said. God says he loves you, God says he cares about you, God says that he wants to see you happy, to be set free from sin, that you hold the rights on this planet, to reap both the good, the splenders and all that he has for us, which is why we have food, we have water, we have nature, we have animals, we have places without boarders, he gives us a rainbow, we have light from the sun as is from the moon and the stars, and the universe is all WIDE UP for you to enjoy and LOVE and have that deep connection with the FATHER. And yet it is MAN, who tells you what your worth is and yet through communism that wants to control you and your human RIGHTS.
IT is man whotells you to sleep with anyone however way you want, yet your hurt and so is the person who loved you. They cannot always feel what you feel, you cannot always feel what they feel, AND YET, YOU FEEL, don't you? Isn't that not part of your human rights? To weap when they're gone, to beg when you want them there, to be wanted, to be needed, it is more than to just be desired. How can you say you want to be desired when you don't KNOW HOW? God understands it ALL, which is WHY he set up RULES and why you shouldn't do certain things. There are many things that we weren't told on, which is why God said to seek him and to seek the truth. Because sadly your not going to find that down here. And gov and society don't care. Very few will and do. That's why people who are in the government are fighting each other because like anything else you have good and you have evil. And there is plenty of evil people in this world who literally have NO soul or human consciousness. These are things I had to learn most out of the church Building and God had to show me as also by my choice to listen to the heavenly Father to KNOW the TRUTH. And I am still learning at my young age. It's way deeper than you were told and think. And my advice to you is, don't wait until your die to find out. Get it right while your still alive. What we are seeing with covid is only the beginning. There are going to be many things unexplained in the world coming in the next 10 years. Gain the wisdom and seek God for salvation while he is still to be found. Because it is only going to get much worse and difficult from here.
It's a terrible advice for a guy, it works for women, because we solve issues and don't get bugged out if they can't handle everything. But a man that can't handle his own shit, is a recipe to be treated as a kid from women and not as a man. And humans and animals follow the same laws, the laws of nature, ie physics, biology, chemistry and so on. If we don't respect the laws we will destroy our world and much of the life we share it with. And plenty of people are doing just that and religion doesn't stop them one bit.
"It's a terrible advice for a guy, it works for women, because we solve issues and don't get bugged out if they can't handle everything. But a man that can't handle his own shit, is a recipe to be treated as a kid from women and not as a man. And humans and animals follow the same laws, the laws of nature, ie physics, biology, chemistry and so on. If we don't respect the laws we will destroy our world and much of the life we share it with. And plenty of people are doing just that and religion doesn't stop them one bit" So is this why people are attacking Asian-Americans, calling them as the ones bringing covid? More than 700 people, children included dead by the Myanmar military? We do not adhere per se to the same laws as animals? Can animals marry? Not really. But they have pairs. We humans can marry and is responsible to have only 1 partner unless one or the other dies or commits adultery. 1 Corins 7. It's all there. That is not terrible advice for a guy. I have male friends married, why do you ask them was it terrible to pick their wives and the mother of their children? Some of them are nearly 11 years of marriage. 1 is about 3 years in and has a toddler.
Physics has to do with motion and many other things. But you are still responsible for those choices that are where sin comes in. You cannot blame biology for something you chose to do. And from what I am seeing, no, you cannot solve issues. Many of you cannot even solve your own problems. You lean unto your understanding and when somebody or at least the women in your life tries to explain something to you, your pride gets in the way of you learning anything. That applies to men and women. Gender has nothing to do with common sense. Either you have common sense or you don't. How many times do I have to warn people something and they didn't listen now they wished they listened? Remember in the English dub of YuGiOh when Kaiba said every single time he heard the world "destiny" he would have been richer? Well, that's what I would have been by now for the many things I'm telling you that I told thousands of others.
To be a man as it is for a woman you have to EARN that respect. It is not your age, it is you learning how to be a man. If you were never taught, how can you know? You have to learn from somewhere unless it was already built-in you to know. And that is rare. And no. See this is how I know your believing in myths. If a man who doesn't have his things together get treated like a child, it is for 2-3 reasons:
1. Either one, he behaves too much like an immature child, as there is a difference between a mature child, a child and a immature one. 2. The person tried to tell you something and you chose not to listen, that's why you get yelled at. But it's not often out of condescending but because we love you and care about you. If we didn't, we wouldn't even bother and not care. Really. We actually wouldn't care and leave you to figure it out on your own. Do you think we want stress? Nah uh. I especially don't. This is why I try to communicate as simply as possible and try to have an understanding. Not get my asthma going or be like my parents were, arguing and fighting every day. Try leaving with that 23 years of your life and you would be unhappy too. So while I do not know much about your live, just remember there are others who experienced far worse than you. But if you have more choices and options than I did, now you have no right to complian. I didn't have much of a say growing up. Many of you had things that I didn't really have. 3. Or they are just toxic and disrespectful. They do this to everybody, not just you. And those are the ones you love, but leave alone.
