Definitely having dating issues due to weight gain. Any tips?

[Jennifersanchez32]

ok so I have gained a little weight and stopped working out. I know not a good story but I notice the belly is definitely not attractive to guys. I even had a guy tell me the other day, “i would date you if it weren’t for the belly.” So any tips on what to do here?

Updates

+1 y

I was engaged and then was dumped that’s the main reason for the weight gain.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Agree with @loveslongnails below, but in a more positive and affirming way.

Accept that you have gained weight. Go buy 1-2 pair of new pants that fit your body as it is now. If you feel confident, regardless of the tag size, you are much more likely to be successful in any career/ dating/ or Weightloss journey you start.

Losing weight involes small lifestyle modifications that are just sustained over time.

Suggestions:
Try to avoid eating dinner 2-3 hours before you go to bed.

Eat at regularly and drink water in between. If that means 3 meals per diem, or 2 large meals with 2 snacks, or 5 lighter appetizer size plates, as long as it's consistent.

Reduce alcohol, juice, and soda consumption. Have a routine beer or wine after work? Try substituting a selzer or a spritzer or tea. Used to juice during lunch? Try flavored water.

If you can transition your sugary drink consumption to be a socially oriented, you will enjoy it more and will eliminate unnecessary extras in your diet.

[loveslongnails]

Thank you. Not sure if she was looking for tips on "how" to lose weight, vs what to do because she's not getting dates DUE to the weight gain? But since we're on the subject, your suggestions about not eating late are spot on, and have smaller meals more often. Don't drink water with your meals, but before them.

The one place I differ is on juice consumption - eliminate juices altogether. Most are artificially sweetened and do nothing but spike your blood sugar. You want orange juice - eat an orange. Apple juice- eat the entire apple. Not only due you get the benefits of the pulp and fiber, but it fills you up and curbs your appetite. Also, eliminate alcohol for the first 30 days and absolutely NO sodas or diet anything drinks. If you can manage it, switch to herbal tea and cut out the caffeine too. Do this while increasing your exercise and the fat will flow right off.

[btbc92]

WHAT? That guy abused you overweight gain? Asker, you need to learn to love yourself and don't use your body to gain the attention of men. You dodged a bullet. You need to be with a man who is going to love you through all of your stages. If that is your before and after picture. IGNORE THOSE GUYS! You look beautiful! Regardless. Just figure out what is happening as you could be gaining due to stress and nutrition. You tell that jerk who said he would date you if you didn't have a bully that he should just date a whore, because you didn't ask for his opinion on your body. That person revealed to you what kind of guy he is. ONLY with you for the body. They do not make the best partners. And I am more thinner than you. Do you think I am interested in those losers? Nope. Any guy who treats a woman like that is a red flag. You heard it from me.

[btbc92]

You don't have dating issues, asker, you have issues with learning to love yourself and being around the wrong kind of people. Be around positive people, not those who want to bring you down over your looks. We are ALL growing old and having some problem one way or another. You do your best to take care of yourself, but don't do it to please a man and he hasn't shown where he is invested in YOU as a person. Because all it is is sex for these men. They don't treat any woman right regardless if she is thin, or chubby, fat or normal, healthy or unhealthy. Most women start off as the right and as we age we get like that especially after childbirth. And I NOTICED it makes women more miserable when they try to compete and getting a person's attention. Either you always had their attention or you didn't.

[btbc92]

Sounds like One guy doesn't like what I SAID. Asker, be around a guy who appreciates you. Period.

[The_Maphio]

Go on a diet, work out to strenghten the fattest parts of you. You should come back to "normalcy" in a rather short time if you're constant in your training.
Keeping your body fat-free or in an acceptable amounts is paramount to ensure an easier life both personally and socially, and to also be guaranteed a longer potential lifespan.

[Jamie05rhs]

Your weight gain is perfectly understandable! Don't feel guilty or bad about it.
However, now is your moment of truth. Because you are seeing how the weight is affecting your life in a negative way.
So it's time to DO something about it!
Okay?

You can do this. I believe in you.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO!

[Mark83]

Are YOU uncomfortable with the way you look now? Or does your new weight cause you other health problems? If so, then make an effort to lose weight. If you're happy with the way you look, and it's still within a healthy range it's better to find a guy who doesn't mind. Bottom line, do it for yourself, not anyone else.

[Anonymous]

You can always get back into shape, in the meantime, you just need to dress the part! Dressing well can make any body look great! If you are a bit larger, black is your best friend. For your legs always go for black, leather is best, it hides curves perfectly. Top, black fitted top (turtlenecks or top shown here) work great under a blazer! Rock your body!

[hi_it_is_me123]

Such guys are not marriage material. Fuck them and leave them lol. I can understand if both partners want to be attractive to eachother. I also think fit men are more attractive but i would date a overweight men when he is ready to loose or at least try it and i would do the same. I dont know what they are going to do when they marry? Leave their partners when they gain weight?

[loveslongnails]

Here's the first problem: " ok so I have gained a little weight " .
You haven't gained "a little weight" - you've gained a LOT of weight. Denial is not a river in Egypt, so that's the first thing. Accept that you've gained a LOT of weight, and then go about losing it.

[bamesjond0069]

Well the best tip would be eat healthy and exercise. 1. You will lose the weight but 2. Men will be more forgiving if you are in the process of working on yourself. Its one thing to be overweight and eating a salad then going for a bike ride vs being overweight and sitting on the couch eating pizza and candy. Id run from that.

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

I still don't see an issue. I would take you as is. I think you look great. Weight can be gained or loss but a person's character is what draws them in. If the guy can't handle you at your worst then he definitely didn't deserve you at your best.

[MCheetah]

The thing women always tell unattractive men (like me) is, "the right person won't care how you look." Not sure if that's true or not, but what the hell is the story with those pictures and the roller skates?

[Matthew2222]

Actually I think you look great!
Don't listen to the assholes in the comment section telling you to change YOUR body to appease society, its not a good path to go down.
Any guy worth his salt would like you for who you are.

[Ironic_Method]

70% of weight gain is diet. Just eat less than what you do now. Portion control and eat healthier foods. Don't buy junkgood and don't shop when you're hungry. Intermittent fasting may also work for you.

[seanras]

Sorry for your experience. Workout everyday *no matter what*. Remember that when you're single your possibilities are infinite, and it's better it ended with ex sooner than later.

[Browneye57]

And you're good at excuses and the blame-game too. Another victim in the making.

This is ALL up to you. You even already know the answer.

[Anonymous]

Gain even more weight and get a man who's fat, too. No need to make a choice between fitness and food.

[Wise4myage]

Get yourself on a diet and get back to the gym. You will be a happier woman.

[Kuressento]

Try to lower your intake on gluten and avoid carbonated drinks. You start to notices in a few days.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Okay, so lose weight. What's the problem?

[Jennifersanchez32]

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Get better at sucking cock and become a cum slut

[scott04sa22]

Looks like twins to me 🙄

[Alonewolf003]

Start to do sport again, immediately.

[Alonewolf003]

Also my advie to you is that dont believe in to this fucking love yourself stories, yes you can love the character you are, but definetely man does not try the girls whom they dont find attractive.

[In_Trance]

How about losing the weight?

[Anonymous]

Go roller skating a lot and restrict your eating

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Stop answering people, she's gone

[Anonymous]

Why are you roller skating in your underwear?

[Anonymous]

Only one option to do. Lose it, get on a diet.

[Jennifersanchez32]

Ewwwwwe

[Opinion Owner]

What?

[Jennifersanchez32]

I hate dieting

[Opinion Owner]

Why?

[Jennifersanchez32]

I like chick filet lol

[Opinion Owner]

What kind of food were you eating to gain weight so fast?

[Jennifersanchez32]

Lol I’m a chick filet girl

[Opinion Owner]

I would still date you and get fat with you. Im not fat but I would be willing for you. Or would you rather I stay in shape? I don’t mind your extra weight gain

[danielp27]

If you’re not willing to diet, you’re gonna be fat forever. It doesn’t have to be a serious diet, just be in a slight deficit and you’ll slowly lose weight over time.

[Slim57]

Lose it if it's an issue

[Ripper_E]

Belly is fine for me

[Anonymous]

Tip number 1: lose weight.

[princeofromance]

Lose Weight

[JamieLoves]

Stop eating

[msc545]

Lose weight?

[Ahmedola2021]

You far better now