Should I lose some weight before starting dating again?

[Anonymous]

I've become a bit withdrawn over the past few years and gained some weight. I want to lose about 50 pounds. I don't feel like I'm supposed to be dating until I can achieve that. Should I wait?

Yes

No

[Effably]

I will just state the obvious.

A lot of people spend years, often some of their best years, telling themselves they need to get ready.

As if the dating pool somehow demands that you are perfect. It does not. You can be a bigger fluffy guy and as long as you deliver that teddy bear vibe, or whatever else you are, people like it.

So no. I consider waiting not only a worse idea but an outright dumb one. Work on yourself absolutely, but also go enjoy life. None of this silly be ready nonsense.

[Bolt1104]

No, you don’t have to wait. You deserve love, connection, and happiness at any size. Weight doesn’t determine your worth or whether you’re allowed to date. What matters most is how you treat people, your personality, and the effort you put into becoming the best version of yourself.

If you want to lose weight for your own health and confidence, that’s great but don’t pause your whole life waiting for a number on the scale. You can work on your goals and date at the same time. The right person will support you, not judge you and will love you either way!

[Nikki1989]

That is more than likely not essential.

[OlderAndWiser]

. . . and then you can wait until you have a better job, and maybe have a house, and have a better wardrobe, and. . . maybe you can postpone everything until you are 55 or 60 years old.

[slatyb]

Why would you need to wait? You may be more attractive as you lose weight, but you may meet someone right now. Don't date someone who doesn't want you to lose weight.

[Anonymous]

Only if it's really going to affect your self esteem greatly. Otherwise just start dating. You can lose along the way. No reason to wait for the perfect moment in life. Life happens regardless.