How to date an Emo or Scene guy?

[kyannagirl]

OK, Since forever I've loved how emo guys look..they just attract me..but I'm a normal girl and am a little overweight...not terribly (like 10 pounds) but usually emo/scenes are sticks weight wise..looks-wise I'm normal..I guess...ppl would say..and would love to attempt the emo/scene style...but I'm pretty much a no nonsense tomboy chick...I can shoot a gun fairly accurately for example..if you have actually had something bad happen to you then yea I will comfort the person..that doesn't really click with the emo/scene guy attitude...(Please don't say I can't date one just give me advice around stuff that seems like it won't work)

I have tried to get 'in touch with my emotions' but I kinda locked em away...yea...I act tough so I won't get hurt again..no not due to a relationship.

Also do at least some of them act dominant..I've never truly known this..I mean..I can be friends with hem and have them cry on my shoulder..whatever..but I can't have a boyfriend do that to me...I assume its different for each of them but what is the tendency for their emotions?

But basically..my question is..can I date an emo/scene guy?

P.S. I would be wonderful if emo/scene guys could answer this vs a 'normal' guy..but I'll take whatever I can get...please say if you are 'normal' or emo/scene though.

THANKIES ^^

[moloz]

I'm not "emo", as in belonging to the specific culture; I'm "emo" as in deeply emotional (though I do fit some of the descriptions like being skinny, tall and having darker clothes, haha). Let me state some things before I write more however:

- A lot of "emos" are poseurs, meaning they're in it for the attention. Others really had problems and found sanctuary in simply venting everything.

- You seem to be attracted to the style, not the people that compose it. (keyword: seem)

- "Have them cry on my shoulder" ain't gonna cut it. You do NOT understand our needy nature; if you really want to date such a boy, be sure to know what you're getting into. This is a warning.

For the last part, I've been a walking emotional black hole for many, many years - that meaning, I've been craving for (female) compassion and attention for a very long time... that made me more sensible and fragile. This is because of my mother's death and generally a "lone wolf" type of life. Imagine how much I wanted to sleep in a girl's lap... there's only one person in my life that tried to understand me and fill that void for me. I'm capable of murder of anyone dared touch her (yes she's that important to me) BUT I didn't drop all my "masks" (I still keep some things to myself out of fear she wouldn't approve).. yet. I'm wary and cautious of girls, most I've met did not know to take care of my trust or my feelings. Because of that, I prefer to be a distant asshole most of the times, especially when girls approach me based on my "eccentricity" (I forgot to mention I have my hair dyed red and have an earring; makes me look like a motherf***ing pirate :) )

Oh on the dominance part... I'm not sure how those other boys would fare. As much as I am sensible, I am a beast as well. My current girlfriend is.. much stronger than me but I'm not weak. We have frequent power struggles and I think neither is submissive or dominant - better said both.

I'm still a guy in the end, even with all those things said. I hope you understand some of what I wrote here.

[moloz]

Oops, sorry for writing so much. :/

Do you happen to watch anime and/or read manga, as well?

[kyannagirl]

Yes I do watch/read anime&manga! ^_^ Thank you! This is exactly the type of comment I wanted!also that's why I added scene..they just do the look for the most part. Though they are more emotional that most boys. I do have a friend that a girl that is extremely needy and I do show a lot of compassion and help solve her problems. I am just wondering now if you show them a lot of love will they grow out of their extreme emotional state? Major sh*t was done 2 me but I 'maned up' and locked it all away

[kyannagirl]

GAHHHH stupid character limit! I had to cut my comment short but after I read it I felt stupid for writing that last sentence. What I mean is..I don't really show my emotions because what was done to me. So I know everyone deals with things differently..but if I show someone love will their pain fade away after awhile?

[moloz]

Hmmm I don't understand what you want to do. Shutting down our emotional sides (both mine and yours) proved to be a SAFE route (meaning this way you're sure nobody would make fun or disregard you - it's pretty un-manly to express your feelings) but deep down I always wanted somebody nurturing it.

Do you want us to "man up" by shutting down even further? Avoiding a problem doesn't solve it. Do you want to "heal" us? The only way is to show us you're the person we can REALLY trust.

[moloz]

And by TRUST I mean a lot.. I've been so disappointed of the people around me, especially the girls... I would be f***ing disgusted if I f***ed them and that says many things, believe me. These are all reasons why I chose to not see any "normal" girl because not only they would run away but in the end would disappoint me. I've wanted a best friend and a lover, all in the same person.

[moloz]

And the last thing... we have our rewards, as well. If you are by our side and have our trust, we will reciprocate and take care of YOUR trust, if you wish to give it to us... but know that if you'll ever find a guy like me that has granted you access to that deep side of him, he'll do anything to avoid the pain and proceed with the pleasure. I know I would and do.

I'm not sure you'll understand, but it can be seen as a "yuri" type of relationship romantic-wise and

[moloz]

"yaoi" type of relationship carnal-wise. Whatever it is, it is NOT normal and it is so intense I'm wondering why nobody had a heart attack, yet, lol.

[moloz]

When I meant in the "no pain and more pleasure" part, I meant it for the other person - mainly, you. Yes, after you took care of us PROPERLY we'll feel the NECESSITY to make you feel the same and this is our gift; this kind of love, where if you DARED walk into our darkness to pull us out, we'll being to blind you with our light, that much we're capable of. :)

[kyannagirl]

I understood exactly what you said..sorry..I really do suck at explaining..in the situation I was in it was better to...hide my feelings..man up wasn't the best choice of words..due to I had to emotionally support my mom and brother though nothing had been done to them. I was abused not them. I want to heal people and understand them..but this isn't an RPG where you click a button and the person revives. I want to heal and be healed..idk..its a selfish thing to want this isn't a question now sorry

[moloz]

Selfish? You're saying it like it's a bad thing. EVERYTHING YOU DO, if you look deep enough, is selfish - things like buying food, working and even loving (love - you do it because you like how the other person makes you feel, that's selfish; it's merely a side-benefit if you fulfill the same role for the other person). You're human and as much as you "toughen up", there's still a side of you that's softer than the rest.

[moloz]

You're like me, with the "heal then be healed" mentality. There isn't anything bad about it, the problem lies with the other person... be careful whom you associate with, a lot of people do not know how to handle these kind of situations and the worst of all, do not even want to.

[Emopikachu55]

I do actually...

[Midnight_Minded]

Im kinda emo. I don't dress it or anything. But im also genderfluid 95% female. There are Dom and sub emo guys sure. Just bc ur normal doesn't mean u can't date one I have a perfectly normal and amazing girlfriend. And the stick thing is a stariotype (sorry for the spelling^•^). But if u want an emo boyfriend go for it hun. And it'll work out or it won't. Ull find who's right for u ^•^

[Emopikachu55]

I always wear big sweater not big big but a medium size or a large I wear leggings and knee high convers and my hair is black and Brown and my bang is red i dont get it why people think I cut myself. Its kinda stupid never judge a book by its cover it kinda made me mad that a person actually asked me that. I actallu got a therapist to help me just because Im emo or whatever you want to call me doesn't mean I cut myself

[Stevenidas]

I've been told I dress and look emo, I shrug it off. But I am who I am. I guess the only way to keep me happy is biting me, and dominating me. I like cuddling and watching anime. But fuck anything else, no going outside, inside only, I just like cuddles, I would also like someone to be there for me in my times of need. Anything else, just throw it a good ass

[FrancoBattiato]

Shooting a gun doesn't make you manly :D

Infact it makes men who think that are usually pussies.

[kyannagirl]

I just meant that usually girls won't do that...I know it doesn't...

[FrancoBattiato]

Think of them as guys, not emo/scene guys. If they're right for you, they're right.