Why do people have such a hard time dating today?

Question

Floppy2112 · Accepted Answer

The market is a shit show. I blame social media. All this 'hot girl summer' crap and the life of luxury motifs and the 'you can have it all' motifs get people to think their sexual marketplace value is higher than it is and they come into dating cynical with unrealistic expectations and criteria for their partner that no one can live up to. Obviously, I see this mostly in women, because women are who I deal with.
Here's a fact I just found out, there are more women than men in the U. S. That means if every man was married, there would still be like 2 million unmarried women. That's great news for men, it's really bad news for women. It means that women have a higher chance of dying alone, having never been married than men do. But women leave the relationship 80% of the time! Marriage is at an all time low and the number of men who want to be married has declined to less than 6 in 1000. These manosphere movements are also extremely bad news for women, that further decreases the marketplace for women.
My hypothesis is that these womanist/ feminist movements have done tremendous damage to our culture. Men don't want to marry or even date because a woman can ruin a man's life with a mere accusation. Men get hung out to dry at the end and women get everything. What incentive does a man have to marry or even date when the upside is so small and the downside is so massive?
I saw a story on a local new broadcast where this guy's ex-girlfriend got mad at splitting up with her, so she accused him of rape. He was in jail during Thanksgiving, when the police finally confronted the woman and she broke down and admitted she made it up. His life was ruined. He lost his job, he lost family members, he lost thousands to legal bills. What did she get? 1 month in jail. She could have put him away for 10 years. What makes a guy want to date, after a story like that? It's not a one off. It is rare, but it does happen and there is no punishment for the perpetrators and the victims get their lives ruined. For what? Some sex? Not worth it.
Yeah, the market, from the male perspective, sucks.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

Because people have too much access to endless options via dating apps and social media. Have you seen the amount of thirsty guys in a woman's comment section posting something sexual despite not even knowing her? What about men resorting to OnlyFans and porn? With all this exposure to endless people of the opposite sex, they are always on the look for the next best thing and the telling of never settle which in itself is not I inherently bad, you also need to be real with what you truly bring to the table.

People have forgotten how to value individuals on a personal level because of desensitization. They only see status, looks, and perceived value which can easily be faked with what we have today. Back when our parents and grandparents were growing up, they actually had to talk to each other, invest time to know each other, screen each other out through dating and meeting each others families and friends, all on face to face level. Now while this still happens it is a struggling field because of pushing hookup culture and perceived value with social media.

Polish a turd and it is still a turd kind of deal. Very few people have strong morals and values that they can stand by through thick and thin without caving to what is being pushed by society. Too many expectations, too many standards, no concept of self worth or awareness of true value.

Maxine_C · Accepted Answer

Because there's unrealistic expectations that girls have. He must have this, he must have that. Most of the time it's about money and height and dick. People are so obsessed about a sex, money, politics, and social status that it makes it impossible to date.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I have not had much difficulty dating the past few years, even during the pandemic. I suspect that it would be more difficult if I was younger.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

Most of us want to find a real relationship. But, for us who are men, we have to deal with many women who ask us to give them money to probe that we want a relationship. A lot of these women are scammers, and if you get bitten enough by the same group, you tend to not want to date anymore; you find it easier to just find someone to hook up, rather than deal with the possibility of running into another scam; or a gold digger type who only wants you for money to support their lifestyle.

One of the red flags, is if a woman ask for your number, or Email straight up. The policy I have is to converse on what ever site of app we are on; and if we get to where we are close, then you may get a number or Email; and that is not 3 conversations or one conversation. That takes time, and continual conversation. I was dating one woman only through an app for about 5 months, before we exchanged numbers; then another 2 months before we met in person for the first time. We got to know each other well, and met in a public place to start.

Just a note: i said that a lot of women are gold digger types or scam types, in either case, they are playing on a mans emotions in order to get money , and not fulfill what they said they would do, or go. This also happens to women with a lot of men!! So, you can take everything above that was applied to women, and put men in that same place.

Both need to clean up, and be up front as to what they want; and do not ask for money!!! They are not your partner in marriage; they have no monetary obligation to help you; calling them out for not helping you, saying I thought you loved me, when you have not given them anything about you to even let them know who you are as a person; these are wrong!!! Getting to know a person is a slow process; work within their beliefs, and how the wish to progress. You will find the dating experience gives you more of what you desire, when you respsect the other person, and work with them to learn of each other, rather than to make demands, criticize, belittle, and make them feel guilty of not loving you, because they refuse to give you money you demanded.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Because a lot of people simply forget how to socialise in real life.

they simply do not know how to interact with people in the real world.

they assume the internet is real and doing the same in real works

or they are not used to flirting, chatting to someone.

or they actually believe this bollox about a body count, walk up to the really nice person the like and ask what their body count is, if it’s more than 1, they walk off.

the art of being sociable and socialising is dying ,

MLGbreezy · Answer

Cause Everything Is shit. A ton of woman these days have these ridiculous standards that a good portion of them honestly shouldn't be concerned with until they improve upon themselves. And guys are sick of getting the short end of the stick so they stop putting in effort and pursue something more casual which then makes woman complain that guys aren't putting in effort and only want sex so they pursue sex and stop putting in effort. So now all where left with is a bunch of dick heads who want sex and don't wanna deal with all the other bullshit cause one-sided standards are two high and the otherside wants something more casual. its a shot show

Anpu23 · Answer

Overchoice. The phenomenon where if you have too many options it's hard to make a decision.

Years ago on a kind of dating site that's been gone for a long time. A few of the admins set up an experiment where they had two relatively good looking accounts one male and one female. They joined a few discussions etc. The female had over 25 messages a day from various guys while the guy had 1 in the month long experiment. Women are literally flooded with offers to date/hook up or just "get to know you." Many of them maybe creepy or even very creepy but the offers are there.

007kingifrit · Answer

1. social media injects a lot of sadness into people's lives by raising their expectations too high as they compare themselves to other's fake filtered lives
2. social media makes many people highly invested in political topics and also super uninformed about those topics simultaneously meaning they are insufferable to be around
3. bad values: so many people are seeing instant gratifacation and can't talk clearly about their long term goals as they were not raised to have any good ones... how can you want a long term relationship if you don't know what you want long term?
4. too many different types of people. its hard to find someone with something in common when there are too many types of people around. as there is more diversity... there is more division

JackSmy · Answer

So few that even come close to being interesting. Most are just self-absorbed, drama queens, or so obsessed with the interpersonal drama, that I don't even want to know and be involved!!
Where did all the really SMART, cute, Nerdy, kinds of ladies go?
Really smart, and liking wearing glasses, and just wanting to have even something like a most meager, 'intellectual' conversation! Where did they go?

blank_expression · Answer

Because they are still foolish enough to try…

The environment has made most females delusional of the man-enemy while the government has boxed men out by threat of incarceration or sex-crimes-lists for simply approaching.

It has become too much effort and risk for negative sum game payoff. Dating takes all in or nothing and most probably don’t want to invest in it.

Many follow the modern women’s example of invest-in-self, me first now.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

I don't think it is harder. I think it is easier. I just think with social media it is much easier to access folks who have issues.

When I was young, there really wasn't a social network to go blab your issues on.

worldscolide · Answer

I blame a combination of things. One of them being the prevalence of smart phones and the internet. It has literally retarded us socially.

I dated someone once who would not talk to me, She would only text me, even when in the same room as each-other. Just weird.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

I only think we notice it more because we are more connected. Everyone has what they need in front of them. Back in my day you had to go out and make things happen. Today, you don’t have to do anything and the males are becoming more beta too. Judging by the penis sizes I read the other day too on here, it looks like many of them have no pe€ker either.

Crazybeeguy · Answer

Easy, the one's that are dating are the one's going to a bar or club.
I think if more people go to meetup groups with the intention on meeting someone there, also women I noticed are distracted with a lot of guys.

OnTheLevel · Answer

Reliance on social media has messed up their ability to talk and connect with people.

BLMUSER · Answer

I don't see any difference between developing a relationship to developing an exercise program and developing a meditation practice. They all take time, energy and effort. One has to be crystal clear on why they want it and then focus on it. Then take steps to make it happen.

Why does one want to date? Why does one want to be in a relationship? What's in it for you and the other person?

Interstate · Answer

There are so many people out there who are "less than desirable" in different ways. Fake, two-faced and just all around players. In this day and age, there seems to be more undesirables nowadays than good honest people.

Yager · Answer

I think the reason for us guys is honestly we are kind of afraid of being rejected. One of the worst feelings to have as a guy is for us to try and be noticed by the girl we like to later be stood up or rejected. Most of the time we put all our effort into it, and if it doesn't turn out well it can end our search for any social involvement and ruin friendships for months.

exitseven · Answer

Social Media. People need to get out and meet people in person and put in the work to get to know them.

monkeynutts · Answer

We have more choices than what we had say in 1961, the internet is a great distraction, if people don’t behave themselves in a respectable manner no woman or man will bother sticking around.

DarcRefractions · Answer

people care what other people think. and people are just looking for quick fixes and haven't died there personal problems. also delusional options due to social media

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Dating today is like driving on the roads of my country: unsafe because the wrong people are being given driver's licenses and access to money to purchase vehicles.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Because people confuse texting and video dating/masturbation for an actual relationship. The face to face thing terrifies the growing number of introverts

msc545 · Answer

Many reasons, but a lot of it is related to the fact that men and women don't trust each other.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

`Cause women are too uptight!! I don't get it! They've got half the money and ALL the pussy!!!

dreamstar72 · Answer

People seems to be more into quantity then into quality.

Pogi-Paddy-2 · Answer

Because people these days have exuberantly high standards and unrealistic expectations of others.

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

Who dates today? I do hook up. Don't waste time in dating.

scott04sa22 · Answer

It's all about the looks now 😎 then personalities 👎

Clarke498 · Answer

Because if it doesn't come through a phone it doesn't come at all

jahaims · Answer

Technology came faster than we can adapt and changes societal values

Synikal · Answer

People in my town want too much with such little effort. I just want happiness with someone who makes me want to be better. Easier said than to find.

Chthou95 · Answer

Because dating is a market and people are going after the best items not realizing the item could be a piece of shit they can't return

eagle1951 · Answer

I'd say cell phones and the internet have totally changed the way people interact.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

90 percent of my problem is I literally can't meet anyone

krin_m · Answer

Unrealistic expectations I would say.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Everybody is too self absorbed.

DaveToo · Answer

'Cause I'm 75 years old.

zagor · Answer

Do you think it was much easier 50 years ago?

Tunasub · Answer

The answer is in your question... people.

Paulychicago10 · Answer

They're to caught up in their electronics

DiegoO · Answer

Is that a fact?

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Cause feminism

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