Is it outdated to still, 2021, expect the guy to take most initiatives?

[Anonymous]

In terms of making the first move, initiating contact and dates the most, etc.

I kind of still expect the guy to do this, otherwise I assume he is not that interested.

Is this an unmodern way to think nowadays?

[btbc92]

Feminist thinks a biological man is outdated. If you're looking for a man, the answer is no matter what year it is, it is never outdated to be expecting a man especially when you yourself are a lady. Which is the top 10 reason why I never dated. This is why a lot of women are miserable and men are bitter because when gender roles were still expected, everybody was at least content if it was sadly impossible to be entirely happy. Though it is for some. If you are willing to do everything for a man as many have claimed to have done, why so many women and some men are treated less? Like I said a few times to other users recently. People today don't want love, they seek benefits. Find and befriend men who desire the same thing and be around people who share the same values as you.

[Tiptoetamm]

I have no problem going up to a man and saying I find him attractive and if they would like to go out sometime. This girl knows what she wants and I go for it. I feel men should be pursued to

[VanillaSalt]

Ok look. As a man I want to please I want you to be happy I was to step up and look good to you... but... what if I get rejected? What if you don’t say no sorry instead you say ew gross? What if we do this and you don’t like me but I start liking you?


Moving past this point the important points. What if we have kids and get married? You show your not who I thought? Divorce is crippling to men. And the family courts deciding Childers and visitation rights. 50% of marriages end in divorce. 80% of these are filed by women. The odds are very heavily stacked against men.


If all this was for you would you date at all or just get a hobby?

[Leavesbound]

It's fine to let the guy take the initiative if you want but you may find you have more options if you occasionally do so and don't be afraid to flirt or otherwise let him know you like him. Some guys will often only take the initiative if the girl drops a hint about liking him.

[rjroy3]

It's outdated and semi unreasonable to expect old fashioned behavior from a modern man, in modern times, who is dealing with a modern woman (you).

Wanting that is completely fine. Heart wants but the heart wants. But you don't really have the right to expect it if that makes sense. That's not to say you don't deserve it.

I say that to pose the question to you. What are you bringing to the table to deserve that old fashioned treatment outside of having a vagina? Sincere question

[beardedbigguy]

It depends on the guy but in general I think women are going to have to meet half way. At least for me, I've been rejected so many times that it is hard to even know if a woman is interested in me. So why make the ask when I'm not very confident in the answer. Just being more direct to men with your interest is a good start

[btbc92]

Here is your problem. You need to ask yourself WHY your trying to date and want a woman in your life? You need to not only develop proper communication and socializing skills but learn how to befriend and BUILD relationships with others. Women as anybody have the right to reject people whom they don't like or not desire. It is mostly a spiritual thing with people. If people don't like your spirit, they won't like you. You need to be with people who enjoy and value your company. At the same time, you need to get to know the person and make sure you are compatible. If you're asking out strangers than you should know what the highest expectation would be especially if for the majority of people, being sexually and physically attractive with the genetics you have is what is important basically. For me, I care about why and what they are about. If the person is a stranger, the answer is an automatic no. Dating strangers is a big no-no.

Here is the problem with anybody who you don't even know for eons being "INTERESTED" in you. 9/10x it's mostly sexual or about benefits. PERIOD. Us being direct is not the answer if we are not what you want anyway. What about the "ugly" girl who tells you her interest and you say no? It makes no point to doing so when we tend to do so because women are naturally expressive. It's up to you in your mind how you choose to perceive us and many of you perceive us in a bad light. That's why women now see men in a bad light.

[btbc92]

Again, unless you're spiritually drawn to a person. You cannot just like or be interested in somebody you don't personally KNOW. All you like is the physical and dreaming of what we can be. But if somebody had a mental illness, etc, many of you, and sadly I had have done so myself at some point included, would run. Your problem other than just asking out people with who you may not have stable friendships and relationships with is desperation and feeling rejected by others. If your negative, others won't want to be anywhere near it without logical reason. And sadly, you're mostly going to attract those who are on the same attractiveness level as you at times. Otherwise, anybody more attractive than you may be with you for other reasons if they don't look and be similar to yourself. This is why people you trust needs to see you for you. Not your outer, but inner. But since humans will mostly see your outer appearance, you need to show where you are capable of being alone. Some may like you, others may not and I say this out of the experience. But what I had learned is if I don't learn to love myself as God designed me and desire for me to be, then how can I expect another person too? That is how I have the friends I have for decades because they saw my value and when they befriended me they got more than just a friend, they got family as I found kinship in them. Relationships for romance should also be about kinship. If love is truly what you want, then you can't act like the world whose only concern is physical and sexual beauty that fades over time. That's why people are scared of age because your value is based on your youth and many superficial things. If you live a superficial life, you will have superficial results. Be around people who are like yourself and are going places and care about growth. Being alone and being desperate for no logical reason are two different things.

[beardedbigguy]

I think you have valid points and I can agree on a good portion of them. What I said was from my perspective and having talked with my of my friends. Some are really good looking guys as well. What I am trying to illustrate is that I think if women are more direct woth their feeling it would lead to. better interactions with men. Being rejected not with standing, how many times do you hear well he wasn't picking up my signals. Its generally a lot. We are not mind readers, we don't know that you batting your eyes is saying, yes come talk to me. As far as the rest, yes getting to know someone and having a connection is what it's all about. But before you get there, how are we supposed to open that dialog without a more specific answers

[btbc92]

And as I told you before. It is not about just being "good looking" but you SPIRIT. I at least know you men are not mindreaders but neither are we. The problem is your main motivation is sexual. And once it gets that way, it is hard t connect to a woman because women's concern is safety and true romance. Next sex. If she wanted sex, she would just open her legs whenever she wants and who she wants. As I told you before. If your not somebody sexually attractive. Meaning, for 9/10 women who can lust after you, she won't date you. Why do you think when as you men do many women check men out they hop in bed whenever possible and if mutual unless they agree to wine and dine first as "formality". Because it is mainly about sex now for them as it is for you. You seek it directly, most women seek sex indirectly unless she already sleeps around.

[btbc92]

The type of women you're talking about are CRAZY. It has nothing to do with her signals. She is just a bad communicator and many as men can be are not honest and can be just as much as cowards as again, you men can be also. You and your friends are interested in the wrong kind of women.

[btbc92]

not sex*. Here is the problem.

Men: Sex now, romance maybe, never.
Women: Romance NOW! Sex maybe, never.

If your motivations don't line up no matter how you want or expect it, then you won't be compatible. I'm celibate and refuse to date men for a reason. Because of this very reason. Just because a man doesn't look like or behave like anime/animated men or fictional guys off of movies like Disney or something like Lord of the Rings, that men need to disrespect and treat women like garbage? 1920 wasn't perfect, but at least most if not some men and women had MORALS back then. I always joked and said I was born in the wrong century. At the end of the day, I have to live and survive. If men don't want to do the right thing as I desire to do for God, then what can I do? Constantly lament about it until I'm 90, old and grey, or DO something with my life be it if a man is present or not? A man isn't going to stop me from living my life as not another woman. People got it freewill. I had my opportunities but many of them liked the idea of m and not the reality of me.

[beardedbigguy]

I never mentioned sex, I didn't say anything about either party being disrespectful or anything like that. I feel like you are having a conversation where if a guy is rejected it's all his fault. While I appreciate you opinions, I don't think it has anything to do with what I was saying. I could be a complete a hole or a super nice guy. But it felt like you are saying I'm a piece of garbage and it's all my fault. So I will bow out of this. Please keep sharing your thoughts and they are needed. Have an awesome one and thank you for responding

[btbc92]

why do you think some people are more popular than others? Your spirit. You can have attractive popular people, and not so popular attractive people. You know how many children are born with opportunities to a good life and marriage and they mess it up by following other toxic children and adults? So many.

Are we not born virgins? Yes. But how many stay virgins up till marriage. Very FEW of us.
Are children mostly innocent from sexual perversions? Yes. Yet, how many chose porn and masturbation, to lust, etc? SO MANY.
Many have a chance at marriage by 18, yer how many take advantage of that? Very few. So it's not an excuse. It's not that nobody does, it's that they DISQUALIFIED themselves to the good things they say they want because they believed the lie, man has told them. Leaving people like myself forced to either conform or to be alone forever if it means not to compromise our morals. Traditionally I would qualify for the most part. Yet, where is that person or people who also desire that? There are a few that I have encountered, however, they have more problems than I now do also. These days, only by the grace of God can you be able to find a partner if it's for you in life.

[btbc92]

Buddy. This is your problem. Do you see what you just said? That's why you get rejected. I never said it was your fault. All I said is that you're doing wrong. The question is do you want a sexual relationship or not? That's the point. If you're looking to be sexually active, then it is about sex. Period. It has everything to do with what you're saying because you're trying to date. Unless your supposedly asexual, why date if you're not going to eventually desire a sexual relationship? If you don't know why your dating, then it's in vain. As a man, you got to have a purpose as a woman does. I had years to think about why should I date personally. I came to find out I had no logical or rational reason to. So why ask and look for something that isn't needed? If you say you want marriage and children then THAT is a logical reason to be dating. If your dating because you don't want to be alone, that is not a logical reason to date because others will use you as you attempt to use them to not be lonely. And no offense, but if you're taking what I am saying personally does that sound like your mature for a serious relationship right now? If you can't handle what is being said without making it too personal you're going to have a really hard timing keeping a relationship without assuming about the other person. All I did was address your issue and gave you a solution. Be with people based on their character and learn to make female friends who show good character.

[btbc92]

People who are receptive to you are usually people who are open to getting to know you. It is YOU who have to have a desire to stand up and go interact with those people. I'm an anxious person and it can make me appear shy. But if I see people who are not interested in knowing me, I stay away from them. As a bully victim, I know all too well who is who usually. But if you feel safe for me, I can be receptive in wanting to befriend you especially if you're friendly. But don't be with intent. If your that "friendzone" guy that hates being in that so-called zone, then sadly, no, I rather not be involved with guys like that.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, it's outdated. I won't even take initiative if I am interested. In fact if she isn't a pest to me about it, I lose interest.

I prefer women who take the initiative and are super pushy about it.

Basically you know how some women hate guys who harrass them for a relationship?
Well, I don't hate when girls do it, I think it's fucking adorable.

[HamburgerFries]

Do you want to keep on waiting? Or do you want to date or have a relationship? No one can do that but you.

If you expect things to fall into your lap nothing will ever happen.

Women are a bit dumb or stupid. I've heard the saying many times that women can do anything that a man can do but better. What a joke. You can't even use initiative to get out of your comfort zone and ask out someone you like.
So you make dumb posts like this 😂😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

Yeah with 3rd wave feminism and MeToo

I wouldn't ever put myself in a position that could compromise me so that means never placing yourself alone with a woman at any time in any environment unless you have CCTV to protect you fron being sent to prison or lined up again the wall and shot (as the radical feminists want for all men)

[Derekk]

It's one thing to have a preference, but if you're assuming his intentions on the basis of your own preferences, then that's just being ignorant.

[fred_durst]

Yes , but in reality most of men nowadays have no balls to approach women anymore.
If you are women who only wait , and you feel men always cheated on you , it is because 99% men who initiate , are players

[btbc92]

not true. It's because many of you aren't waiting for marriage to have sex any more and many of you can't even keep friendships with women much either. We wait because we usually tend to know who we are as people and women as God made us be already equipped to have and seek partners. It is men who have lost sense of their purpose. That is why there is so much cheating and whoredoms in the world. You look at other women then of course your cheating, doesn't matter who does it. Men suffer from women who have wandering eyes too. Godly morals today are rarely respected. The key is discernment and most people don't have it besides wisdom.

[btbc92]

How am I supposed to be okay with men masturbating, watching porn, looking at women on social media, talking sexual perversions to other male peers, and call it normal? How is anybody to feel okay being called a religious prude, when a lot of you men love whores and make women your whores than when you hate her you call her b's and hoes. What you do is why so many women are starting to hate men as a long of men are starting to hate women for what she does. No morals.

[btbc92]

Think about Shakespeare and his works. If you don't procreate and make a person in your image, then you will be forgotten. At least according to the standards of the world.

[In_Trance]

I really don't understand why women scream for equality, but when it comes yo dating...

[Dchrls78104]

He doesn't approach women, he's gay; he approaches women, he's a pervert.

Need I say more?

[DWornock]

Since that is your choice, it is your right but you are excluding 80% of men that might want a relationship with you.

[Cowboy6666]

Well if a girl/lady approaches me and flirts I would welcome that as I am single and won't mind that :)

[Shihab91]

i don't think so... a confidant man will approach you. but after sometime you must stop texting/ calling first to make sure she is interested as well.

[Anonymous]

I believe it is but it's still kind of the norm unfortunately

[Aided]

yeah, definitely

[InferiorElegy]

Yes!

[JessieBellll]

Yeah