Is It A Red Flag If He Takes A Decade To Propose?

Question

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

Yes. I think it’s concerning. I also hate to openly disagree with another poster, but I must. Marriage is NOT just a piece of paper of government overreach. Some very specific legal rights and privileges extend to a married couple and - contrary to armchair lawyers beliefs - only a handful of states recognize common law marriages.

Being married particularly enhances the sanctity of the relationship; it offers legal protection against testifying against one another or the same confidentiality as a priest, doctor, or lawyer enjoys; it allows for medical decision to be made in your spouses state of incapacity (which otherwise may be made by some other relative); in infers certain parental rights in some states, once a child is born; it allows expedited probate proceedings; insurance coverage; power of attorney; and the ability in most states to own mutual property equally; and some tax changes. In my particular field spouses have certain privileges should I be killed on the job, which a girlfriend would not.

There may be some places where marriage is ‘just a piece of paper’ but in most, it is not. This is precisely why the LGBT community fought so hard for marriage over domestic partnerships. It’s not equal.

JacobJordan · Accepted Answer

Nope. Answer me this. Outside of the ring, ceremony and government intervention what will change after the marriage? Given the only correct answer is nothing the previous things are all pointless for a man but they are done for a woman because a woman finds them meaningful. Your soon to be husband could roll out of bed the morning of 30 minutes beforehand and be ready and waiting within 25 minutes. Don't get me a wrong a wedding is great but reality is it serves largely no purpose. The ring is so you can show it off to friends and family. And the government intervention is a nice touch that no one asked for.

TameBunny · Accepted Answer

Ask yourself why would he want to wait. Whatever you DO NOT ask him OR allow friends or family to ask him otherwise you'll be waiting 20years. Why? Because a man in love will want it to be a romantic surprise and friends and family can ruin that for you even if you're not hounding him about it.

Does he want to own a home? Does he want to graduate college? Career wise- is he entry level or waiting on a promotion that leads to job security? All of these things can delay a proposal.

If you have reasonable answers to the questions above don't worry about it- instead do the complete opposite. Go out of your way to be the BEST girlfriend and irreplaceable as possible. Do everything you can to reassure him your relationship will only become better over time. Take this time to build a foundation to last a life long successful marriage or break up.

WrinkleBrain · Accepted Answer

It could be. This could've been prevented by having a discussion about marriage and your future together sooner. You two may have different expectations and standards, and it's important to have healthy communication. You should feel comfortable expressing your desire to get married instead of waiting for him to take initiative.

AviatorTom · Answer

Depends when you first met. If you were both young teenagers (hinted by your posted 18-24 age in GaG), waiting 10 years to propose would be perfectly legitimate.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Not if you were 10 years old when you met.

caitycat21 · Answer

Nope. I especially hate when I see women who will stay with men who they have houses with/kids with.. their basically a family but the man refuses to propose to them because that man probably just sees that girl as a placeholder or in the worst case scenario you’ll see some men know that they don’t want to marry a girl but keep them around and lead them on so they’ll waste this girls time with the promise that they’ll propose soon and then 20 years later there’s no ring on her finger 🤦🏽‍♀️.

I think it’s fine if both partners are cool and don’t desire to be married since that’s their choice but if one person desires marriage and the other doesn’t but still leads the one that desires marriage in that’s just disgusting and selfish in my opinion

sawno · Answer

Nope, he may simply not be the marriage type but can still be perfectly loyal and dedicated to giving you everything the marriage would have given you.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I wouldn't even stay unmarried/unengaged to someone for that long. If he's not proposing in like 2-3 years, why stay

BCA6010 · Answer

Judging by your age bracket, and assuming he's about the same age, I wouldn't worry about it.

Paris13 · Answer

Ten Years? Yes. He is Cozy Like a Fat Cat in His own Home Corner. xxoo

LiamJHayden · Answer

Well I suppose if she waits and he actually does propose then it worked out. But if it is a decade and she is still waiting, I'd generally assume he will never ask.

Anonymous · Answer

Wait? So you wanted him to propose when you were (8 to 14)?  Where do you live, Kentucky?😆😆😆

Rizzlekicked · Answer

I would personally feel after 3-4 years and he hasn't made up his mind then why bother

Luméa · Answer

Yes it's a red flag,, He is stealing your time

Danny_dan92 · Answer

A decade? Fuck bruh. Have you asked why?

HighSky · Answer

He does not owe you marriage

Roudyrebel8 · Answer

Not just for that

LazerBean · Answer

Obviously

sheikalana · Answer

Well, it is to me.

jaskin777 · Answer

Yes yes

James_Likes_PPL · Answer

Yes.

Is It A Red Flag If He Takes A Decade To Propose?

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Is It A Red Flag If He Takes A Decade To Propose?

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