Even if it's 2022, why does a man still wants to help with the bill?

[Anonymous]

Two past dates and my current boyfriend have that same reaction.

Date 1: It was my invitation but he still wanted to cover more than half. He said it was nothing personal, just how he felt.
Date 2: He wanted to cover the transportation and didn't want me to invite me to an elegant place. Instead he wanted a cheap place.

My current boyfriend wants me to continue saving money and whenever it's my invitation, he prefers cheaper places and orders one of the cheapest dish on the menu. His reasoning is he doesn't want me to waste too much money. Whenever it's his invitations and it's a fancy place, he won't let me help. Even when it's 2022, why does a man still acts like a provider, still helps out with the bill even if the girl invited or orders a cheap dish on the list?

[MrOracle]

Here's why:

Without ever even having been told this, men are instinctively aware that women ALWAYS want to date UP. They want to date a man who is at a higher level than she is, which usually means some combination of better-looking, more popular, more powerful, or better able to provide and protect. As soon as this dynamic changes, and she feels equal or above him, she very quickly starts feeling like she can do better, and will start looking around for someone else.

Dozens of studies have confirmed this behavior. One study found that if a wife begins to out-earn her husband, over 70% of the time she'll divorce him within a year. Women's hypergamy - her desire to have the best mate - is incredibly strong, and the media and social media especially have only served to amplify this tendency among women - Instagram in particular.

This is very similar to the women who tell men "show your emotions more" and "you can cry in front of me" - and, yet, if a man cries in front of her, even once, she'll almost immediately start to lose her attraction and respect towards him.

Most men understand this even if they've never really thought about it - they've SEEN it happen to other men, and they've heard enough women talk about it, that they know they need to avoid these things. As much as (most) women claim to want equality, if they get it, their brains tell them it's unattractive and not worthy of respect, and their relationships are quickly ruined.

Could you be an exception to the rule? Perhaps - but a smart man isn't going to take that chance, because the odds are very much against you being an exception.

[Novacane]

I would say it is innate to men to at least try to cover or at least help with the bill to an extent. That how most men we raised, we were always taught that these are the things you must do for a women. I know you said it’s 2022 but doesn’t matter what year we are or how “equal” we are, men understand that we are not equal when it comes to dating and that there is a burner performance in us. Meaning the moment we stop doing that for a women they will start to see us different. Now to your point you might not see him differently if he doesn’t since by this post it’s showing that you don’t really care in covering the cost, but a lot of girls are not like that. You have girls that if the guy does not pay they start to question him and start to see him different to the point you might not take him serious. That might not be your case but as a man we never really know where you would draw that line so to be safe we just rather try to provide.

[intertwinedramen]

The man being provider might be different from your own concepts and it being historically prevelant doesn't conclude any backward or primitive rate.
He is of different culture or have different teaching which is difficult already as it is but with both of your willingness to acknowledge and accept it can be solved and evolve.
Make sure to prioritize that, and discuss the roles more throughly to know what they expect of you, as they might think they should take care of you they might as well think you should take care of the house and it's essential for your interests and ways to be compatible.. best wishes.

[spartan55]

I'm flattered if a woman takes the initiative and asks me on a date. I won't insist on paying my half when she is treating me. Cheapest dish? Something tells 'cheap' is attached to that guy at all times.

[Asker]

He only orders a cheap dish (cheap place) when I'm doing take him out to eat, when it's me doing the invitation. When he invites me out to eat, it's a fancy place, fancy dishes. He won't let me help him when he invites me.

[Ευδεμονια]

I can talk for my country, here there’s a lot of social pressure on men. Man should be a servant / chevalier to the girl, he must take responsibility for her, paying for bills, thinking about transportation. Girls expect this and who doesn’t respect these standards often will be rejected or claimed greedy.

[Gent207]

Okay 1st.) The century don't determine jack shit as penny pinchers or 'misers' have been on Earth since the beginning.
2nd.) Your boyfriend is clearly a penny pincher not that is an inherently bad thing to save money. But if his behavior bothers you so much than TALK about it! Say to him "I feel __ when you do this---".
3rd.) One man does not speak for all the other males on Earth likewise the same with women.

[Anonymous]

Because we know that despite what they would like to believe women still expect a man to be a provider and men know they are expected to be a provider. That’s how it worked for thousands and thousands of human evolution for both sexes. A little feminism from the past century isn’t going to change that.

[Guy13]

Because we like to spoil what we assign Value too. It is a compliment AND you should learn to accept them...

[Guy13]

OR you become one of those Femi-Nazi women... never married at 30... still thinking they are a good catch... and at best some other Femi-Nazi and Gender Equality/Equity Femi-Nazi will find you (her) attractive... AND THAT WILL BE YOUR ONLY Options...

[Sparkie460]

He's a respectful guy. He knows how to treat a woman

[nawtee_me]

you should get that straight before you go on the date. If you want to pay, I will let you if I know ahead of time. If you wait until the bill comes then yes I am going to offer to pay.

[FilmGuy93]

Because you would be amazed how many women still want to be doted on.

[PatriceONeal]

Men aren't stupid e oguh to believe in the lie of equality. Men aren't stupid enough to believe women believe in splitting the bill.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Same reason why even in 2022, a girl still complains about the lack of chivalry.

[Wubs3000]

ooga booga monke pride

[humanearth]

Its called pride

[Asker]

Interesting

[humanearth]

We find it to be not masculine; men are supposed to be the providers. When a female pays for meal when in courting stage of the relationship. It feels effeminate to a mans self worth.

Does that kinda make more sense