Is it fair to date a civilian while serving in the military?

[pervertedjester]

The heart wants what it wants and I'm not saying you can't I'm just wondering if it's really fair to them. They never joined or made that decision but they get thrown in without training and usually try hard to hold on. Most don't make it through all the deployments and random training exercises. The few that do seem more resilient but even fewer will make it all the way. Wouldn't it be smarter for military members to date amongst themselves. The military mindset being what it is needs those who are more prepared to handle it. Again not saying you can't date a civilian. I'm just asking myself if it's really fair to put a civilian through all the extra bullshit of dating Service Members. Thoughts?

[SaoirseS]

My dad met and married my mom while he was in the Air Force stationed in Japan, they’ve been married 42 years. I’ve dated soldiers at an Army post less than 20 miles from me without any major issues. The military is a way of life, and to stay together with someone who makes a career of it would mean understanding that and putting up with frequent moves in addition to deployment separations. Sure it’s fair to civilians, and they have hearts and fall in love too. They know what they’re getting into, and can make those decisions for themselves.

[ShadezMcgee]

It takes two to be in a relationship first off. You have two options if you are a service member. Either date casually and avoid relationships and marriages so long as you are in or don't date period.

They don't force someone into a relationship against their will. I personally wouldn't marry if I remain in the service because of the strain it can bring. Not everyone is cut out for it. It is fair to the civilian because they should already know what they are getting into, if not, that is a conversation they can have with their partner in service.

[ChrisMaster69]

Not sure I 100% understand your question.

I’m ex Air Force (RAF) and married a civilian.

lots of forces guys marry civilians

are you on about deployment times, postings?

[pervertedjester]

Is it fair to put them through the emotional stress of all the comings and goings and can't says?

[ChrisMaster69]

Well at this moment in time, the UK has people deeply Ed globally for loads of different reasons.

My neighbour is a nurse, she’s been working the entire pandemic, her husband was never 100% what would happen.

I’ve other friends that are in Police, Fire Service etc.

There is a level of risk with all jobs, some more than others.

There are likely more people killed simply driving to work yearly, than killed on active operations.

Life is full of risks.

The biggest problem at times is not the worry of loss, but the simple fact you are away from the family home so much.

[CrazyGirl2]

I don’t know? My mom and dad met while she was still in the Army, and apparently even through her last deployment! They have both told me how difficult it was! But they have been together over 20 years, and are still like newlyweds! So maybe under the right circumstances, with the right partner you just find a way to make it work!

[johnsmithjs]

You do realize the military consists of around 10% females, that would make for a lot of lonely service members.

I do not know of anyone that forces people to date military people so it is a free choice.

So yes it is fair.

[DaveToo]

Your personal life should have nothing to do with who you wish to date, as long as they understand you have your duty to perform. I married my wife while still in the military. A month later they sent me to Vietnam.

[ChiTown33]

A friend of mine was in the army and he give you a laundry list of women who's boyfriend/ husband's were deployed and she was sleeping with all his friends and spending his meager check. Then if he was lucky to come back alive with all his limbs attached she'd leave him with nothing. Sometimes with nothing but debt.

[SpiritBear]

If everything involved is consenting and knowing, sure.

[anylolone]

Yes. It's fraternization when people in the same battalion date.

[Dinklex3]

Uhm..
It'd only not be fair if they forced them to date against their will.

[EaterPeter]

Nope. Let's say not smart instead of not fair.

[EaterPeter]

Avoid LDR as much as you can.

[EaterPeter]

There should be auto desolving clause for relationships if LDR lasts for 2 years.

[EaterPeter]

7 years max.

[EaterPeter]

2 months least.

[EaterPeter]

6 months?

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[princeofromance]

Yes!