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Bold guys who aren't afraid are the ones who approach. And they are much more likely to be the ones wanting hookups. Their egos don't bruise easily and they're playing an undiscerning numbers game. If they get a no they move on easily.
You're good looking (I think you actually look elegant), and that shouldn't be a negative. It maybe seems crazy to say, but you probably need to downplay your looks and not use photos where you are glammed up, in hotel rooms, etc. You may be technically dressing your body well, but it will attract guys who think 'She's high-maintenance' or prioritizes looks, or something, maybe. This is a theory here.
The other thing you probably don't want to hear is that you should be more proactive. No, it does not make you look desperate. If you do it with class, it can make you look confident, and just because you make a first overture, doesn't mean you are indebted to them, or in a weaker position. Don't think like that. You have value, you know your worth, but don't flaunt it. You must both meet each other halfway. If you start choosing, that'll be half way there, to where you want to be.
(And date older. Young guys are such flakes. Many of them, not all.)
I think you look flawless, and you should feel free to act, dress and do whatever you want. But if I where you i'd rather focus on something more important, like school and work an self growth.. Do not let this get you down, trust me, everything happens for a reason, and the least you exect it to happen it will... happend to me too and i thought something was wrong with me but it was just never the right time... i got my first serious relationship when i got 25 years old and after 6 years we're still together... so trust me don't loose hope but don't expect everything either... be free enjoy your life and yourself.
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Maybe you dress too sexy and it intimidates good guys to approach but attracts all the dirt bags thinking you are easy. Just a thought.
āAll the down votes on my comments are a glitch. GAG is looking into the issue. Thank you for your understanding.ā
Ok il be completely honest. Can i be honest? Im truly in love with your eyes.
However!! What you are suffering with is because of the way you present yourself. Although im truly deeply stirred from the bottom of my heart by ONLY your magical eyes, your body and the skin you are showing still ignites my sexual urges to a degree almost stronger than my appreciate to your natural eye beauty. Meaning. Everytime i look at you with the way you are dressing the sexy visual appearance will stimulate my mind towards sexual thoughts way more than it would towards true appreciation of beauty and relationship.
That being said. I would like to point out that it is you who decides how men look at you. For example (and this 100% is my absolute truth to you): If i see you on the street wearing cloths that dont show skin. Maybe lets say business casual or just a beautiful long sleeve dress with no chest opening with a long skirt. My eyes will literally have no where to look but your face. And i will notice your eyes right away and fall in love with you and want to make you my girlfriend. Those will be my first thoughts. Now let's say you were wearing the outfit you have up there while sitting on the bed or the one in your profile picture. And i see you. There are wayy too msny distractions. First im looking at your legs and then chest and then that entire tight body. Im already turned on and want to give you the loving of your life and i didn't even look at your face yet. You get my point? The first thoughts that came to my head and that will constantly keep coming everytime i look at you is SEX SEX SEX thats all il think about. I may not even notice how amazing your eyes are. And let me tell you... the picture that made me realize how absolutely fantastic and bedazzling your eyes are... was the 2nd pic you put. That shows no skin. Cause i had no where to look but straight to your face.
This is my real thoughts towards all this. I hope you get my point.
That being said. If you are a truly real person. Please slide into my DMs and i promise il take you seriously as im already deep in into the fall once I've seen your eyed.
I hope this helped though. Best of luck.
Sis,
I am just like you. A black woman wondering the same thing. I know how you feel, and I know you want a relationship. You are beautiful and decent. Itās really nothing to do with you personally. Iāve falling into the same boat where the dirty talk happens, the āIāve never been with a black woman beforeā, itās intimidation because im put together and they feel their life isnāt where it should be to hold down a relationship, it sucks.
It upsets me because im more than just a body. Unfortunately especially with dating apps too there's a lot or men who feel they are like a kid in a candy store and try to see how many women they can get so there goes commitment. Then thereās also those women that have ten thousand layers of makeup on that mesmerize men and us natural beauties get left behind.
Trust me itās not you. Thereās so many other factors. Donāt change yourself. The right guy for you is coming. It blows goats when others are getting into relationships and there you are, I get it sisā¦but sometimes some people settle for all kinda of guys.
Keep having your standards, keep being amazing, you deserve a King and heās coming. He is just trying to push through all the bonehead, horn dogs that are blocking his path to youā¦but heās coming 😊
To me, the basis of a relationship is sexual compatibility. Girls who seemed to refuse me because they weren't just looking for a hookup were under the wrong impression - which is one I have learned not to correct - as they think I would just leave after the sex. This is not true. I lose interest if the sex is bad, but if the sex is good then leaving is the furthest thing from my mind.
I don't correct this impression from women because I've found that sex with girls who want to avoid hookups tends to be bad sex, so the impression tends to right itself even though the premise is wrong. And with pretty girls (yes, such as yourself) it tends to be a feast or famine thing: that is either hot women are so hung up on getting the maximum value for their looks that they can't enjoy sex (thus making it unenjoyable to me) or they are unashamed and gloriously self-indulgent sluts who don't want a relationship anyway. In either case it's harder to be serious with hot girls because I think about sex more when I'm around them.
You're waiting around for a guy that isn't coming.
You see these guys who dont want a relationship approaching you.
Those are the only guys approaching anyone.
So it's not you.
But if you want a different kind of guy you're going to have to put in some effort to find them.
It's like you think all kinds of guys just run around approaching women for sex.
That's like 1% of guys. You're missing 99% cuz the majority of us dont run around approaching in any manner.
Flirting has become a game, many guys ate mastering it and it gets them to their main goal! Casual hook up. A game! All about numbers, how many girls, how many times, how many times using the same pick-up line, a challenge to do that "10" girl and so on.
Guys now days can't tell the differnce between elegant and sexy (or slutty) and they keep their ego on hi so they won't miss a thing because according to them! That is what a "real man" is and you are there all dressed up , because why the hell not but for them is just +1 to their body count and so on. Take your time, do not put pressure on it and maybe the good guy comes all along without overthinking it.
Don't take it personally, It seems to be a common theme these days, the swipe sating culture seems designed for hookups. The confident guys that girls are attracted to are getting attention, while the good guys interested in a relationship are usually more shy and not as good with initial attraction or chemistry.
I dont see anything wrong with your looks or features, you're a pretty girl, it's just difficult finding a serious partner at the moment, but give it time, it will change.
They want to keep their options open would be my guess.
As to why guys don't approach you in public, it's because society is conditioning guys to believe that doing so is some crime against women. See this question linked, a lot of the women are saying to the guy to flat out not do it. So if you're not getting approached, it's because guys are listening too much to your fellow women instead of actually going for what they want.
What is the best way to approach women in the street?
I actually spoke too of my friends about this who bought happen to be black one a male and the other a female. They completely despise each other and often say they don't date there own race when I asked why they both said because black women don't give out untill marriage. Obviously I can't speak in this myself as a white women but this is what my black friends have told me.
I'm sorry your having a hard time finding love but you are a beautiful girl and honestly if a guy doesn't like you for you it wasn't meant to be and he's just another door to walk through to you finding a great guy who adores you. Good things come to does who wait.
You're very pretty with sex appeal.
That brings more attention from guys including the guys who hoping for a hookup.
Also being a beautiful black woman we get the people who fetishize us and only see us as a sex object
Don't take it personal and hang in there and be strong and make it clear you deserve more and eventually you will find someone that will respect you mind body and soul.
possibly because out of all those qualities you said you offer in a relationship, none of them support a genuine relationship. Men want peace, a woman that can cause him to forget how chaotic the world is when he's around her. Strong men have to eat well, a woman that can cook well is highly sought after and valued. Its not all about looks for men, even if the guy only cares about sex. When I find a woman with those qualities I would definitely risk my life to protect and provide for her
I agree with a lot of what has been said already. It's all about the men who are more likely to approach, and how that may be shaping your idea of what guys want.
But another thing is that women often think of relationships and sex in binary terms. Black and white. If he suggests sex, it means he doesn't respect you and will never love you. If he treats you like a gentleman, he's a diamond in the rough and will be your prince charming forever. Life is a lot more complicated than that, and relationships shouldn't be approached with a rulebook about what you must or must not do.
Just my two cents. But I also don't think you should whore around or anything though. Just don't pin a guy down as an emotionless prick because he pushes for sex too soon. We've gotten used to women saying "yes" to those requests more often so naturally a lot of us keep trying it. Testosterone is a hell of a thing.
To be honest you are very beautiful. For me personally if I got the confidence to talk to you, I would like to get your number to get to know you better outside of how we met (if it was at a bar or club). I'm my personal experience though I don't know if you would actually give me the chance to show you a good time. I just recently met a girl at the restaurant I work at and have a nice conversation with her and got her number. I asked her out the next day and we'll she said she wasn't interested in dating because she isn't in a good spot. Which in respect. But I'm a metalhead and not many girls like you or the one I asked out I doubt would've given me a chance anyways just because I dress edgy listen to metal music and don't have a buzz cut like a bunch of other basic guys.
You are probably looking in the wrong places. Analyze where you are meeting men. If you want to meet men who are serious about love, go where those men would go. You are very pretty by the way. Oops, I should be careful not to say that or I'll get reported for sexual harassment. That last sentence was a bad joke, but could illustrate one reason why guys do not want to commit.
Could be the type your attracted too. So if you end up going out with similar types of guys and those same types of guys end up sleeping around that may be your answer. Try dating slightly outside your comfort zone, maybe try being the one to approach the guys. As long as you don't worry about failure it could be a fun new experience.
TBH Probably your shitty taste in men, and they probably assume your chatty and open nature to be you inviting them on.
Not saying you become reserved and bitchy. But maybe not be so open with the "bad boy" types that you're targeting. Most are not relationship materiel anyway, as you should by now know.
I think it comes down to most guys really don't want anything long term, the ones that do are normally the ones that people ignore or look past cos of there looks or personality. Don't give up you will find the right guy when the time comes
Maybe because you choose those kind of guys and the rest are invisible to you. If you are choosing high valued men, they have options. And men have a very strong partition in their mind about women they associate with for fun, and women they're serous with and plan to commit to.
It is the same reason it is for almost all young women. Men date down for sex but they don't marry down. However, you chase after the hottest guys that will fuck you and reject guys within your league that want a relationship. Your problem will disappear when and if you have realistic standards.
First off you are gorgeous. Maybe the guys who wants a relationship are thinking you might not want them. It could be racial stereotypes. I think you shouldcwork on making you tbe best you that you can be. I believe one day you will find a good man.
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